Life & Love
She stayed the day, as he slept almost all of it, and the night causing Mrudula to give more lectures about right and wrong
She promised she will return, questioning her own judgement or lack thereof
Morning of the third day dawned bright and clear, she texted Mrudula to test waters to see if she was still upset with her
They had argued the night before over how things had to be shared with Aanu and that she didnt owe Ashvin anything
"I shouldnt have come here. I feel more strongly about him now than I did before" she had wept
"you are making it worse Trishu. Just leave. He tricked you, he hurt your father"
"I know that I repeat it in my head everyday. He has said 100 sorry to me"
"Oh they all do that well"
"He is unable to use his right arm or shoulder"
"Well... thats God's punishment for him"
"Dont say that... thats a horrible thing to say"
"Think about your father. Trishu, he has you in his house again, getting you to perform servitude"
"Its not servitude, he cooked the omelette yesterday, he changed two light bulbs with his left hand
"Oh so he got rid of the cook?"
"she is not coming... I dont know why"
"He has you no? Trishu... he is a rich boy, why will he ever feel anything for you"
All that made a lot of sense to Trisha, she knew it was true but was unable to act on it
"You are harsh and cruel Mru"
"You need to come back to Ullal love" Mrudula was crying too
"I am so hurt" Trisha had gasped
They had hung up upset with each other
He woke close to 8 and came looking for her, she had already showered, worn the pair of clothing she had first brought with her (on which she had stacked books and journals on his shelf later)
She sat on her bed trying to read
"You should have woken me up"
"You were fast asleep" she said somberly
"Did Chirag come last night?" he asked
"No he called on your home phone"
"And?" Ashvin didnt look too happy
"Wanted to know what I was doing here"
"None of his business"
"He is right Ashvin... I shouldnt even be here" she said clearing her throat
She wondered if she could tell him everything in her mind without looking at him
The tousled silky straight hair, the stubble, the glasses wreaked havoc with her insides
"Its over and I am pretending its not" she said softly
"You have to tell me what I should do so dont have to go"
"No Ashvin... I have to go" she said swallowing a giant lump, causing her tears to leak out of her eyes
"Trish" he begged
she sniffled
"We started the wrong way... nothing started wrongly ever becomes right" "we have a proverb in Konkani"
"I was too wrapped up in my hate for Dadu" he said quietly
She looked at him admiringly... he was admitting things he need not
She bit her lips painfully, repeatedly
"I feel bad you are hurt... but I dont want to mistake it for" she stopped
She walked to the balcony and opened the door
"I will go when you leave for the doctor" she said softly almost inaudibly
He looked vulnerable and hosed... the scratches and dings almost healed now, his cast still in place
"I want you to stay for yourself, not for me" he said sadly
"I cant do that... I cant do that... I will always think of Aan... means my father... and he will never want something so hurtful for me" she began to cry
"Dont cry... Trish... I am so so sorry" he whispered
"I dont want to go... but I have to" she sobbed
"then dont... I promise I wont hurt you" he placed his left hand on his heart
"You cannot hurt me greater than I ve been hurt"
He shut his eyes and cringed
"Being here with you... I can never get rid of the feelings. I have.. I have to stop it. I cant live my life being in love with you"
"Oh! but I want to live my life being in love with you" he thought as her words ripped him to shreds
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