knowing you guys have been at the edge of your seats...
here I am...
No replies... I know but its tough to manage everything.
will try to catch up with you all soon.
67. He Was That Defeated Warrior Of A War...
"Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you...
"I know you are there... and I won't ask you to speak."
"...but what I want you is to hear me. Let me tell you things that I haven't told you and then it will be you at the end. You have always been..."
She bit her lips to even stifle the flow of her own breath. His voice, she had been hearing it all this time in her head and now when he was actually speaking, it felt all so new.
And when he had just called out her name, she felt goose pimples erupting on her skin.
His voice haunted her dreams and the dreams became a beautiful reality.
She closed her eyes feeling so many things all at once... the happiness, the bitterness, the sadness, the helplessness, the joy...
"Come back!" he stated.
She stilled and heard a sharp intake of breath on the other side.
"okay no, that is not the proper way.." he sighed, running his fingers through his hairs,
"let me reframe."
A few seconds of silence pounded on her ears and her heart thumped.
What will he say?
"Okay...I know it was all so sudden for you Geet and that you weren't expecting this. I will be very honest with you..."
You have always been...
She wanted to say but remained quiet. There were so many things going on in her head; multitudes of them that she knew not what to do and what to think.
"I love you and that is not going to change!"
Her pounding heart stopped beating.
She realized now that Maan had not understood why she left. Probably he didn't get her letter.
"I found your letter..."
He answered her question before her thoughts ends.
"and whatever your reasons may be, this is not going to change Geet.. "
She gasped on the other side. So, he knew everything,
"But you know what hurt me the most?"
She waited with abated breath.
"Not your letter..."
She bit her lips.
"Not your reasons..."
She held her breath.
"But your running away...that hurt me the most."
He, only he knew how he held his sanity. He knew the fact that she saw him at a pedestal way higher than where she was standing. But he had to let her know that he was mere human too. That he gets scared and he has his weaknesses too. But more than anything else, he wanted her to tell that running away from his wasn't going to solve anything.
"But I won't ask you to come back Geet... no. That I won't do even though I am tempted to."
She gulped that knot in her throat that had now started hurting.
"I don't know what you think of me but running away isn't going to solve anything for you. not this matter and not anything else. You ran away because of me but what about Ana and Kabir and the people who love you here?"
The mention of her friends brought tears to her eyes. She missed them.
"Whether you come back or not, I am going to be in love with you and no one can change that. Not even you. But then these feelings, they are my problem. Not yours. But don't run away like this Geet. If you think me to a little worthy of you, if you have ever shared something with me, then face it. Don't close yourself. Make your choices proudly and follow them."
There was a long pause when he finished and none spoke.
He had expected all kinds of reactions from her but not this silence. He had even thought that she had dropped the call until the moment he heard the faint rhythm of her breaths.
"Little Storm, you are growing up. Take care..."
The line went dead and then and only then she realized she was alive. And suddenly she had no energy in her to stand anymore. The phone dropped from her hand and she fell on her knees, hiding her face in her palms. She wasn't crying though but she felt heavy. Overwhelmed with everything.
He threw the phone, angry at something he knew not of. Everything was falling apart. He knew her reactions would be drastic but what he hadn't bargained for was this feeling. This feeling of helplessness and uncertainty! He had always been the person who knew every step he took and the consequences he'd face but this step he took towards her yielded results he hadn't expected. Worst, he was bottled up and there was no one left.
He found the door to dadima's room open and peeked inside only to see his brother sitting on the couch, with his eyes closed. He left a long breath and went back to his room, picking up the phone to call her.
And when she didn't pick up, all he did was to leave a message.
"Mi Bella... don't do this us please. We miss you. Come Back to us."
He thought of the night when Ana had showed him the letter that Geet had left and more than anyone else, the first thought that crossed his mind was that of his brother's. It sounded selfish. Geet was troubled too but he knew his brother well. He wouldn't show it. He would die a thousand deaths but still wear a smile on his face.
He had always been like this. And he had been the happiest when he had known of Maan's feelings towards Geet. Although he understood Geet too, but his brother needed someone.
Someone Like Geet...
"I can't believe Bhai scolded me like that when he knew I was trying to help him out.." she vented out in front of Aarush. She had been too troubled with everything until the moment he called her and asked her to meet in a nearby cafe.
He sipped his coffee and watched her hold her head in stress.
"Calm down Premchand..."
She sighed, "How could he?"
"I understand that you were trying to protect him but that wasn't your place to do so.."
"I can't believe you think I am wrong too.." she felt exasperated.
He smiled, "Why can't you be wrong? Ahh I see, her highness doesn't like to be negated.."
He kept the mug down and held her hand, "listen to me first. The matter is between your brother and Geet..and no third person but they should solve them.."
"Hush. Listen first and then talk. You were telling me about you and Arjun the other day right? And do you remember what you had told me about Geet? That even though Arjun was troubling her, she didn't say a word to Maan. She knew getting Maan involved would solve everything in a jiffy but then she knew that was not her place. It was yours..."
Ana sighed, recalling that confrontation with Maan and then later with Geet. She has indeed not opened her mouth in front of Maan.
"She stood by you Antara. Don't you think she deserves the same from you?"
Aarush waited for her to grasp things.
Geet had always been with her at her best and worst. She looked at Aarush with wide eyes.
"What did I do Aarush?"
He squeezed her hands softly, "its okay. she needs her best friend right now. Don't push her. I know you want your brother to be happy but she needs you too. So, the best thing you can do now is stop poking your stupid nose between them but be with them."
She pouted, "my nose is not stupid..."
She watched his shoulders shake in laughter and sighed. He was right.
Damn...this bloody psychologist was always right!!
"So, what have you decided Geet?"
She looked at the peering eyes of Raj and cringed. He had called her to talk about her decisions regarding her job.
"You have to start working in a few weeks right? You have to go back to New York."
She watched Pooja looking at her pointedly and she intervened before Geet could open her mouth.
"Of course she will be going back..."
The mention of NYC made her head bob like she were under water, unable to breathe. NYC meant Maan and he was the last person she ever wanted to confront. She was not worthy of anything or anyone. She had accepted her fate. Letting someone into her life will only make her sit on a time bomb. The moment it reaches the peak, the bomb would go off and she'd be left with nothing all over again.
She looked at raj sitting and Pooja standing behind him, glaring at her. they looked the perfect couple. She smiled a little when she caught raj holding Pooja's hand over his shoulder and squeezing them gently, gesturing her to calm down. He smiled softly and Pooja sighed looking at him, throwing away that anger. She kept looking at them.
Kanha...so, is this how people in love look like?
She snapped out of her thoughts hearing Raj.
"So, what have you thought?"
She looked at Raj still holding Pooja's hand over his shoulder and then looked at Pooja.
She glared at her again, asking to her go back to Maan and then Maan's words swarmed her mind.
"I am staying back. I will finish all the formalities there and come back."
Raj stood up, pulling her into a warm hug.
"I am so happy that you are back to us Geet... you are just so awesome.."
She smiled, in his arms but it wasn't peaceful anymore like before.
It didn't ignite the same fire again...
It was nothing like before...
Later that night, Pooja confronted Geet in her room.
"So, you are not going back?"
"No..." Geet looked at her confidently.
"You are nothing but a fool.."
She stomped her feet and walked away. day in and day out she had tried convincing Geet to go back. Accept the love that now stood knocking at her door but she wasn't even ready to listen. She wanted to tell Raj about it... may be... just may be he could knock some sense into her brain.
"Geet... oh my god... Thank god you answered my phone..." Ana screamed in happiness.
It was days after that Ana called Geet and that she picked up the phone.
"Hey Ana..." she replied meekly, knowing how angry her friend would be after the stunt she had pulled. But Ana surprised her.
"I am sorry.."
"Geet.. I know I had been harsh on you. telling you so many things over texts but I didn't mean anything. I was angry... more than that I was scared for you and bhai when you left..."
"Are you angry now?" she asked, confused.
"Ohh I am not silly...am just so happy that you picked up my call." Ana teared up.
"How are you Ana?" she fell on the couch by the window, "and how is Aarush?"
She felt so happy that she was talking to Ana after ages. It felt like the one month of separation didn't even exist between them.
"I am good and Aarush is good too."
Geet's lips curled into a soft smile, "Aarush? From Prick Mehra to Aarush? When did that happen?"
Ana gasped and then shied, "Nothing. He is just being a little nice these days. You tell me... how are you doing? When are you coming back to us? I feel so lonely these days.."
Her heart melted at her friend's complain, "I am good Ana... doing well. How is Kabir?"
"He is good now that he is travelling a lot lately. He misses you too."
"Hmm..." she had nothing more to say.
She missed them and she missed them terribly.
"and how are uncle and aunty?"
Ana sighed, "they miss you too. they want you back..."
She smiled a little, tearing up, "tell them that I am fine."
She asked about their college friends and everyone else.
"Won't you ask about Maan Bhai?"
"its been over a month Geet... don't you want to know how he is?"
Geet gulped hard and blinked her eyes to hold back those tears from falling down.
Whether you come back or not, I am going to be in love with you and no one can change that. Not even you.
And then he had never called again.
She had spent nights awake in the thought of him.
If he was doing well...
If he was eating well...
If he was hurting too much...
If he had someone to understand his heart...
He had never called again after that night.
Suddenly she had that intense urge to cry her lungs out.
"Geet.." Ana's soft whisper brought her back to reality,
"Won't you ask about him?"
"I...I..." she suddenly had nothing to say.
More so because she couldn't speak... so many things choked her.
You are important Geet... and you have no idea how much...
What we lose always comes back to us in another way and in another form. So never think you lost something... never think you lack somewhere. You are special Geet.. to Ana, to Kabir and to me too.
She shut her eyes tight, "I gotta go... uncle is calling me. bye."
She disconnected the call and threw the phone away from her. curling down on the floor, she hid her face between her knees.
"I...I just can't do this.."
The music went on and she stepped into the dark room, looking around. She could only hear the soft notes of the piano and nothing else.
The darkness scared her. it felt eerie. Ghostly.
she tried retracing her way back but then there wasn't any. She was lost. It was way too dark than she had imagined and then she stumbled upon something.
"ahhh.." she winced in pain and then she felt someone hold her hand.
She gasped in fear and looked back, fearing someone could just hurt her.
And then there was a small flicker of light somewhere far away. and in that little light, she saw his face, slowly lighting up in that dim yellow light.
"Its only me little storm..."
"Maan?" she felt life coming back to her.
"Its okay..." he smiled and pulled her close to him.
Taking her other hand, he placed it on her shoulder and rested his other hand on her waist, pulling her even closer.
"Ah.." she gasped.
His eyes met hers and she forgot to breathe. And then she felt herself moving... to the same music that she felt was eerie.
That music was suddenly soothing to her ears as she relaxed in his arms and he lead her, softly into a waltz. And all she did was follow his lead, trusting him blindly.
One by one, the lights came up, illuminating the place.
She gasped and looked around.
It was the study...
She woke up to the announcement of her landing on the soil of NYC that shaped her up. She had been dreaming all this time and she was dreaming of Maan. She had travelled to his study in her dream which was not coming back again.
Dreams are stupid.
She mumbled to herself as she collected her luggage.
What had happened to you when you had tried knitting a dream the last time, eh Geet? Did you forget it so soon?
It was a tough decision to go back but she had to wind up things before she started working. She had a lots of things stuffed in her apartment and she'd have to vacate.
His phone buzzed with Mom flashing on the screen. He sighed and turned away from the window of his car.
"where are you Maan? Come home soon. Simi is leaving."
"Am on my way."
He disconnected the phone and glanced back at her apartment one last time.
She wasn't back.
Holding his heart, he drove away, not caring what people around that place thought about him.
He had been driving to her place every single day and waiting for her one grace look, right below her apartment, without fail. He would take long route from office just to wait for her right in front of her place and wait.
She'd come back...some day she had to.
He knew he had lost her... his brain convinced him. but his heart asked him to wait. He was so much in conflict. His heart hurt so much. Only he knew how tough it was to restrain himself from calling her or flying to her place to bring her back. he could do anything to get what he wanted but she held him at her mercy.
And like every other day, he took a long way from the office and waited below her apartment, in his car, hoping for any sign..anything that told him of her being.
He knew people had started noticing him... the same car, the same person, the same time at the same place for a month now waiting for something or someone they knew not of but he just couldn't care. He just didn't have it in him to care of anything else. his heart refused to believe that his little tornado was gone. He'd wait for hours until someone called or until he realized it himself but he had no control. He didn't want to control that urge to hope either. He was lonely and he knew it was only her who could bring him out of the darkness.
That day too, he drove and parked his car at the same place, hoping hopelessly for something he knew which was hopeless. The weather was changing and there was a definite nip in the air. He rolled down the glass of the window and looked at her window, defeated in the battle.
Stepping into her tiny little home after almost more than a month felt like she was returning to heaven. Her cozy little home remained as she had left it. she turned on the lights too see around for one last time.
Before she left...
New York had once been her home... no no, she shook her head. NYC will always be her home, forever.
She sighed and pulled away the drawers to pack. There was one packet that had her name written on it.
Nothing more. Nothing Less.
She froze on her steps and her phone buzzed.
Any distraction was welcome. And she picked it up.
He felt some life returning to him hearing her voice. It was something like a breath of fresh air... the first drop of rain on the parched earth, a flicker of candle in the darkness...the first snow.
The envelop fell from her hands and the content slipped and scattered on the floor, out in the open.
"Maan?" she mumbled.
His name from her lips sounded sweeter than any other voice he had ever hear and he didn't know what happiness he felt when he saw the lights of her apartment on.
He called her up immediately knowing she wouldn't pick up but to his surprise, she did. He couldn't have asked for more.
"Where are you?"
She took her time to reply.
"I...I am in London."
Her lies weren't confident enough.
"I know you are lying.."
Oh gosh... they were talking. After eons they were actually talking. He hadn't planned to call her up until this moment when he had seen the lights on and he had not been able to resist.
She was back... his heart jumped.
She was actually back..
"No..." she tried to sound confident.
"I am right below your apartment. Don't lie to me..."
She looked towards the window. The curtains were pulled apart. Knowing that he was so close to her brought back those questions that she had been asking her all the time.
One time... only one time if she could see him.
See that he was okay..
She closed her eyes and shook her head.
No No No... you can't do that.
"I don't want to talk..."
"You came back..."
His hopeful voice made her feel so pathetic.
"Only to go away..."
She somehow managed to raised her voice a bit and sound confident, "yes. I am going away forever."
If only his heart could break more...
If only he could let her go...
"Geet please don't..."
He felt his own voice faltering... helplessly.
She felt it too and her heat constricted. To see him breaking down like this... she just couldn't take it.
"If it is because of me... please don't do this. Just wish it and I wouldn't even come in front of you... but don't do this..."
"I have to leave Maan... Good Bye."
She disconnected the call and felt hot tears rolling down her eyes. And then she was in pieces... jagged pieces of herself and her feelings.
He was that defeated warrior of a war who won everything but lost everything. He slowly slipped down into his car and started the ignition. Looking one last time at her window, he knew this was the end.
She dipped her head, wiping her tears, only to see those photographs of her scattered on the floor. Photos that Maan took of hers...
So many photographs that captured her and only her in focus... she had no idea how to react! Every time she had been at the estates, he had captured some part of her. there was her picture with Ana and one with Kabir, there was a picture of her with the entire family and there was another with dadima and then, she had so many single pictures of her she never knew he ever clicked!
"We don't have a picture together."
She nodded, her forehead now sliding against his, "Umm. I have a picture with everyone except you..."
He parted a little and pushed that strand of hair behind her hair, "do you want one?"
She looked at him with wide eyes and then immediately looked down, blushing, "I don't know"
He laughed and inched father away. She couldn't help but feel disappointed with this parting.
"Someday Geet..." he looked at her with utmost seriousness, "One day..."
She had to see him... one last time. The weight of her emotions lay heavy on her heart. she heard the distant sound of a car and looked down the window.
There was that black Mercedes he always drove.
He was really here... oh dear Kanha, he was here...
She wiped her tears that spilled some more and ran downstairs...
You said to enjoy the update and all I did end of this update was shedding tears...
Now we should move to the comment and paste it here ...
Can I ever feel so connected with a story like this??? Ever???
Like the way I always feel those same emotions for "Someone Like You" Well I don't think so cause Till now it didn't happened where I'm feeling both of their pain it's really so overwhelming you know that...this story is going on in some phase now which is always making my heart feelings to get heavy and I don't know how to gather my emotions today now after finishing this chapter I had to wipe few tears which was lingering on my face after living their pain...I don't know who is getting more pain but it's sure both of them doesn't deserve this they don't deserve to be like this but when love has become so easy it always offer more than only happiness and love it has always been like this...
Geet is Not getting like this going away she's not only hurting Maan but herself too and along with them I'm feeling the same pain...
How could I feel both of their pain at same times? I feel like cursing geet for some moments for causing Maan so much of hurt but then I'm unable to do so she's also not in peace why she has to do something like this why can't she just take a chance??
They both deserve this chance she can't go away please stop her make her understand it's not a solution it can never be what will you gain Miss.Kawaii making this ill girl more sick by making her cry??
Please let them meet this time don't part away just don't ...
I don't know why suddenly of all days I've become so emotional so vulnerable that it's getting difficult again to bear all this bear this separation to bear this pain really you write so gracefully that it's so easy to get connected and feel all this like my own feelings...
He did talk tried to make her understand but she's acting stubborn for her own reason she need to give her life a 2nd chance not all the time it's necessary to get a Heartbreak they can have their happily ever after right but she's complicating things now...
I'm happy in a way that Ana did support her all people only can't think about Maan they need to understand geet too which I'm doing still I can't neglect Maan's situation nor I could ignore the pain I'm going through thinking of Maan...
Why Miss.Kawaii you have to be so cruel??What you get making us suffer like this it's not only Maan and geet is suffering I'm also going through the same...
Sometimes I feel so angry on you ...you are just acting like Parineeta writer gone that sweet Miss.Kawaii of someone like you this author is ready to break hearts of many with her writing...
Congrats once again you are successful to made me CRY I totally dislike this writer for making me feel so same time can't deny that it was a beautiful chapter
Cliffhanger girl you really got it bad How could you stop at that moment ??? This update was so emotional awesome and beautiful and I am happy that I have second reserve this update loved it but can't geet see both of them are getting been immensely pain by her decision this is so not done she is more big knuckle head that I had thought I love to read more of it soon PS again love Annie an h I love to read more of it soon PS again love Annie and aarush scene... The new soon continue soon
Oh my god this Geet is traumatising herself, Maan, Ana, Kabir and me(readers) too. Cant she see it. How can she stay quiet even after knowing Maan is broken down. Cant bear to see Maan like this. Geet has to make up to all these. Again stopped at a high intensity point. Waiting for next part.