Happy janmashtami and Happy Independence day to all of you. Late update.. I know. Shifting to a new place all on my own is a herculean task on its own. Still trying to adjust to the new environment but managed to type and squeeze an update in between.
p.s people who are expecting double updates, please don't. Understand that I have my professional life ahead in a new city. I have to focus on my career too and my health. I will try to updt once a week.
p.p.s thanks for all the lovely comments and the wishes. Doing well with roommates and work as of now. Fingers crossed.
Suno Suno Saaware Ki Bansi Hain Baaji
Naino Se Dhaar Dhaar Kajra Bahe ji Jiya ra Tarse... Naina Tarse Pyaasi Pyaasi Akhiyan Kaahe Aise Barse...
She hid behind the tree trunk and watched the sight in front of her. Tears from her eyes had wiped the kohl of her beautiful doe eyes and left a black trail on her cheeks. She bit her lips and held her heart which was slowly breaking.
Kanha was going!
The chariot from Mathura had arrived and he had boarded it. The entire village followed their favourite child, crying and begging him to stop. She had wanted to go too. But she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back. And hence, she had decided against seeing him off.
But did the heart ever dance to your tunes?
She cursed her heart for the umpteenth time to have not been in her control. And she had given in. She ran into the woods and watched her beloved slowly vanish... like a traceless star.
Early streaks of the dawn made their way into the dark London sky and shrouded the ever bustling city with deep sleep. There were almost no vehicles on the streets. Winter was gone but the chill still remained. And people decided to remain in their blankets a little more and bask in the warmth of their cozy homes...
...except one star... one traceless star.
She saw the passage of time with her own eyes as the darkness slowly faded away and gave way to dawn. And like everyone else, the dawn didn't stay with her for long either. It vanished into morning and she sat by the window, just like that. just like how she had sat the entire night, without sleeping a bit.
"huh?" she struggled with the sudden lights that hit her eyes and mumbled groggily.
"have you been sleeping on the couch the whole time?" pooja asked, her voice laced in worry.
It was then that Geet realized that she had slept off on the couch. She hadn't been able to sleep the entire night, the memories of Maan flashing in front of her eyes and then she just didn't know when her eyes gave in to the tiredness of a sleepless night and a restless mind.
She rubbed her eyes and got up, "Umm... I wasn't sleepy so I came here and don't know when I slept off."
Pooja smiled softly, "Go wash your face. I have to tell you something."
"what is it?"
"I need your complete attention. So, freshen up. I am waiting."
Geet shrugged and went to freshen up and when she came out, she saw her restless friend pacing up and down the room.
"What is the matter Pooja? Is anything wrong?"
Pooja's face broke into a smile as she dragged Geet and made her sit on the bed, "I am going to tell you something that I have shared with no one. Not even Raj."
Geet raised a brow, "not even Raj?"
Pooja smiled and shook her head, "I wanted my best friend to know about this first."
"and the news is?" Geet urged her to speak further. She observed her friend's excitement and nervousness all at the same time as she fidgeted with the end of her dupatta.
"that..." Pooja blushed.
"That?" Geet waited.
"That I am pregnant..."
Geet stood up, "what?"
Pooja blushed harder, "yes. I am going to have a baby Geet...I know its such a big news and I didn't know how to deal with this and so I thought I would share it with you first and trust me I was the happiest one when you came back with Raj..."
"OMG Pooja... that is such a great news.."
She felt something after a very long time. She had been numb after all that happened and somehow this news diverted her mind to somewhere else. she hugged her friend tightly and kissed her cheeks.
"lets go and tell Raj..." Geet chimed, "lets go and tell everyone."
"Don't tell anyone."
"What??? But Aarush..."
"Hush... calm down now." he watched the woman in front of him almost breaking into tears.
"How can I calm down? how? Its Maan Bhai... how could Geet do this?"
Aarush took a deep breath in and held her shoulders, stilling her, "Shhh... Ana... Stop freaking out and call Geet."
He had called her after landing in the airport and found her in distress. She was mumbling about some letter and Geet but he couldn't get a head or tail of it. he somehow calmed her and had asked her to take the note with her.
Ana opened her eyes, recalling her conversation with Aarush. She wanted to call Geet and ask her the reasons. She wanted to shout at her and care for her like her best friend, know what made her take such a step. But then again, she was angry at her for hurting her brother like this. She knew how her Maan Bhai was. She knew how broken he'd be and so, she had brought the letter back with her, not telling anything to anyone.
She had called Geet a few times too but to her utter dismay, she had found her phone switched off.
She sat up and checked the time and tried to push her luck one last time.
The impending doom still remained at the back of her mind but the news of Pooja's pregnancy played a good distraction. She celebrated with family and tried not to think about anything. but nights were unbearable. She walked out of the washroom after freshening up and found her phone ringing. She had that bittersweet feeling seeing her best friend's name flashing on the screen. She held the phone for a while, wanting to tell her everything but she knew it wasn't even an option.
"he...hello Ana?" her voice broke with so many emotions filling her.
"Where the hell are you Geet? Where have you vanished?" Ana screamed from the other end, "And why in the world was your phone switched off for so long?"
A drop of tear rolled down her cheek hearing that voice that she had missed so much.
"I am home..."
"What? You went back to London without telling anyone of us?"
"I am sorry but Raj was here and everything happened suddenly.."
"Couldn't you have called me at the least?" Ana bit back.
"I...I..." Geet sighed. She had no answer but she tried to manage something, "everything happened so fast..."
"Oh really? Was it the situation or you were running away Geet?"
Geet gasped, "running away? from what?"
"you think me a fool Geet? Tell me..." Ana screamed at the other side.
"Why are you so angry Ana?" she threw the towel on her bed and sat down.
"You tell me why I am angry! You coward... you went away and didn't even think of Maan Bhai even once?"
She stilled in the moment. how did Ana know this?
She froze, "di...did you read..."
"Yes I did and I hate you for doing this to my brother Geet. He loves you so much and all you did was to run away with nothing but a damned letter? How could you do this?"
"Ana...I...I... just can't..." she hadn't expected this.
Not this Kanha...
"why can't you? don't you know how much he is in love with you? how can you just break his heart like this?"
Geet sniffed, "I can't do this Ana..."
"Why can't you?" she screamed from the other side, "come back Geet."
"I am sorry but I can't."
"why the hell?"
"You know what...I am not going to listen to anything. Just come back.." she ordered.
Geet gulped down the knot that formed in her throat and forced her voice out of it, "I am not coming back..."
"think of Maan Bhai you fool..."
"I am not coming back... and please give him the letter..."
Ana was irritated.
"Fine.I am going to be as adamant as you. You are going to break his heart. not me!"
She hung up the call and left Geet in a turmoil that she had forgotten some time back.
...And I choose YOU Geet...
Gosh... why didn't she see it coming?
She hid her face between her palms and sobbed. She was hurting him.
Damn...she was hurting too now.
I will be right here. For the sake of your Kanha, go out, meet people, make friends, fight your way into the world and most importantly, Live! I will be right here, always...
"what am I doing?" she choked with hiccups.
She had held herself back all this time and call with Ana had been her undoing.
Maan...what did you do?
His confession had changed everything for her... perhaps her entire existence.
His voice echoed in her hears and she missed him.
Damn it Geet. How do you think I will manage without you?
His voice didn't cease to be. she cried harder. It was hurting so much now. what was she doing?
"Oh my god... Geet... what happened?" Pooja held her and pulled her to her embrace.
She had come to see Geet but seeing her crying so bitterly had worried her so much. She ran to her and held that trembling body slump on the floor.
"Geet...what happened, tell me.." she cupped her face and tried to make her look at her. but Geet hugged her back and cried bitterly.
"what is wrong? You are worrying me Geet... tell me what is it?"
"I... I..." she hiccupped, "I..what have I done Pooja?"
She clutched Pooja's arms tight and sobbed, "I ran away...I can't go back... I don't want to go back... but damn this heart... its hurting so much and I don't know why?."
Pooja held her friend and caressed her back until she was sober enough to talk.
"Hushh...Hushh... tell me what happened. Tell me everything.."
She wiped Geet's tears with her kerchief and cupped her face, "now tell me everything."
Her face had turned tomato red and she couldn't even breathe. Pooja made her drink some water and she coughed out most of it. gently caressing her hair, she wiped her tears, "tell me now..."
"what happened to Maan? Is he okay?"
"Ummm.." she coughed, "he... he loves me Pooja..."
Her eyes... oh lord her eyes... they held so much pain and helplessness that even pooja could see. She asked like she herself was in denial... like it hurt her everytime she thought of it.
Pooja cupped her face smiling, "Arrey Pagli... what is there to cry? Isn't it a good news? Did he tell you?"
Geet nodded softly.
"Congratulations Geet... I knew..I had an inkling that something is going between you two. Even the last time you were here in London, I had seen him with you. since then I knew there was something...gosh I am so happy for you. did you say yes?"
Geet looked down and shook her head.
"I... I... said no.."
Pooja was astonished, "what? but why? Geet, why?"
"I can't be with him Pooja..."
"why do you think so?" Pooja sighed.
"He deserves someone better... not me..."
Pooja felt exasperated, "and who are you to decide that? its his life... he will decide."
"but..." she sobbed, "this is my life too. I should get to decide too."
"...and your decision is stupid. Does Maan even know?"
"I don't know.."
"Do you love him?" Pooja decided to just hit the bull's eyes.
And Geet gasped. She looked up at Pooja stunned and frozen in time.
She wasn't in love...was she?
"Do you love him Geet?" Pooja asked firmly this time and she still remained blank.
"I...I don't know..."
"what do you mean you don't know?" Pooja blasted, "what the hell is wrong with you? do you even know what you are doing? He loves you damn it and instead of embracing it, you are throwing it away?"
Geet looked at her blankly.
Was love a feeling that once could feel the second time?
Wasn't it supposed to be a once in a lifetime moment?
What was it that she was feeling for Maan all these days?
had she been in love with Maan all this while?
But how could that even be possible?
How can someone like her fall in love with someone like Maan?
"You get your head straight Geet and think rationally..."
Pooja left, giving her space but she remained numb.
She knew she had been broken enough to go through everything all over again and when he had confessed his love to her, she had felt her new life crumble.
We share nothing
Wasn't that what he had said?
With names, come limitations and restrictions Geet and I wouldn't want you to draw lines between you and me.
Between him and her... she was torn now. they shared something now. and now, that was a scary prospect. she looked at her Kanha who was sitting on the side table, with his flute and sobbed.
"Isn't love supposed to be like yours kanha? Eternal? Like you and Radha.. then how can I fall in love with someone else? someone like Maan?"
Its been four days to it and he had been sleepless. He hadn't seen or called Geet...neither did he visit her once knowing the turmoil she must have been going through. but at the same time, the wait was killing. She had run away and he knew his little tornado needed space and time and he'd give that to her too. but now, she was taking too long. It was rare that he had laid his heart bare like this... in front of another person who had the power to crush it with just a look of hers.
He called her up a few times but each time it went into her voice mail.
He had been prepared for the worst but what he hadn't prepared for was the wait.
The vanished trail of the woman he loved.
And when his patience was slowly ebbing away, he landed up right in front of her apartment and knocked the door.
"I am coming to take you out for lunch.
Geet read and re-read the message and switched off her phone. Everything was a mess. She didn't know what to do but to think that Maan would be looking for her, made her heart constrict in pain... so much pain that she never thought she was capable of feeling.
The heartbreak that he will face after he reads her letter... if only Ana gave him... she felt the ache of the past simmering within her once again.
What she had gone through... will Maan feel the same pain?
Will it be less? Or will it be more?
Ohh Kanha...he would be so much in pain...
She hid her face into the pillow...
"but I can't go...please understand me Maan...please..."
She mumbled and tried to sleep, recalling that fateful moment when he had confessed his love for her.
And another restless soul kept banging her door, desperately...waiting for her one grace look.. hear her pealing laughter... her soft smile...
"Geet...open the door damn it..." he kicked the door.
"she isn't home.." a kid from the same building informed him in passing.
"what? where is she?"
"I don't know.."
He punched the door hard with his fist, "damn you Geet! Dare you run away from me.."
He rushed to the mansion and screamed for his sister for she was the one who could give him her whereabouts.
"Antaraa..." he bellowed.
She had been working on her laptop when his voiced echoed. She jumped in fear and ran down for he sounded so angry.
"Where is Geet?" he demanded answer and Ana knew she had to say something and she wasn't brave enough to break her brother's heart. she had seen him truly happy after a very long time.
"She went to London."
"Suddenly? Did she tell you anything?"
"yeah...yeah.." Ana stammered, "she got someone from family and they wanted to see her.. "
He sighed in relief. She hadn't run away.
He was worried for nothing. She'd come back soon as she was done.
A little more patience is what he needed now.
Just a little more...
He went back to his room and freshened up. He had taken a cute picture of her sleeping and drooling. He ran his hand over it and sighed.. the confession had been tough enough... and suddenly patience seemed to be the toughest task he was to do now. he sat on the couch and closed his eyes... trying to picture her face when he had told her...
Fairy lights decorated the entire garden and the fountain came alive with as the sun sunk down the horizon. The estate looked no less than a palace in celebration. The 32nd anniversary of his parents now held more of a special place in his heart. as he fastened his cuffs and set his collar, Maan Singh Khurana felt butterflies zooming in his stomach!
How girly it was?
He shook his head combed his hair properly. how would it feel when he confessed to her?
Would she understand or would freak out like always?
For the first time, he felt uncertain about something. he knew he would say it for he wasn't a man to fumble but uncertainty of her answer somehow scared him. Maan Khurana and scared? How pathetic it was!
Love can really make you do wonders!
He sighed as slipped into his coat and walked out, greeting the guests. He shook hands and hugged people and smiled at them but his eyes remained stuck at the entrance... for that little fairy to arrive. That little fairy who can brew up a storm like no other in his heart.
"Cough Cough...Bhai..." Kabir tapped his shoulder, "patience. Bro...Patience!"
"Shut up..." he glared at Kabir over his shoulder.
"You can shut me up but can you shut that heart of yours?"
"Stop puking cheesy...go and see to the food."
Kabir raised his hands in air as defense, "Woah... I get it dude."
He shook his head and walked away, "Gosh.. Love is crazy..."
As more people poured in, he grew restless.
Where was she? Why was she late? Was she okay?
He was tempted to call her and ask her where she was and what was taking her so long but then he knew it against his better judgment. She had people from London and she was busy with them.
A cold breeze danced around him on the summer night and he heard his sister calling out to her friend.
"Geet...we are here. Come.."
He looked around and across the glittering water of the fountain and saw his little storm enter... slowly, one step at a time.
Clad in a dark red sari and her hair let down, she took his breath away just with that.
Did she even wear a sari before?
She walked in consciously and slowly, scared that her sari might fall off and cursed Ana to have coaxed her into wearing this. there were so many people around and she felt them staring at her. she gulped down that knot in her throat nervously and walked towards her friend.
He knew she was beautiful but something was new about her today.
Not those beautiful kohl laden eyes...
Not those red plump lips that he had always wished to kiss...
Not that fair skin that glowed under the moonlight and the fairy lights...
He held his breath as he watched her walk, slowly, gliding like slow moving water, sleekly.. tenderly...touching his soul every time she blinked.
There was a silver waist chain that sparkled whenever it came in contact with light, her pallu flew with the breeze as she struggled to hold it close to her... her nervousness was so visible that he wanted to run to her and take her in his arms and croon into her ears that everything was okay.
There were some family friends who wanted his attention and it broke his heart when he had to look away from her. she was his muse... she was his attention... then how could he not pamper her with all that?
It was much later that he finally got a chance to breath and found her standing all alone at a corner, sipping a drink.
Damn that woman was too beautiful...
He shook his head to clear his mind and went straight to her.
She watched him come closer and she burned in that gaze. Dressed in a navy blue dinner suit, he looked every bit the man he had carved himself to be.
Their eyes met and he kept walking. She forgot to let that breath out and held her breath until he was too close.
"Geet?" he whispered softly.
His breath fell on her nose.
"Umm?" she squeaked.
His eyes... dark smoldering eyes, kept her captive.
It took her a few seconds to let his words sink as she took a step back, taking a deep breath in.
Damn this man...
He smiled at her and then picked up his drink and stood beside her.
"How is your leg now?"
She bit her lips, suddenly feeling so conscious to be around him, "yea..yeah its okay now."
"Why are you standing here alone? Where is Ana?"
"she got talking to some people.."
They heard Kabir announce a couple dance for their parents and everyone clapped. They clapped too, keeping their drinks away.
He turned his face to look at her, "yeah?"
"What did you gift your parents today?"
He sighed, "haven't gifted them anything yet."
"really? Have you planned anything?"
He thought for a while and shrugged, "I have something in mind.. but I need you in it!"
"Need me?" she looked surprised.
"yeah. Come with me..."
He held her hand and walked towards the stage at the centre. She followed him quietly.
She had been so disturbed with all the events at the Times Square that she had no time to think of anything. she was on medication and more often than not, they made her sleepy. Maan called her once or twice but then he got busy too. she looked at his hold and then up at him.
He was someone she could close her eyes and trust...
She curled her fingers around him and squeezed his palms gently and smiled when his hold tightened around hers.
Do I need to tell u again ...it's a beautiful update ..feeling so well pouring out whether it's maan , geet , Ana or pooja ..hope pooja put some senses in geet's insane mind who thought to become radha due to raj ..love like krishna and radha in this modern world too difficult to find as the patience and love like radha can't be so easily done ..
Why gwet hell adamant to spoil her life she should consider her to be lucky as maan loves her who will do anything to keep happy ..she is thinking how maan can love her ..she should ask this question to maan ...Pyaar toh bas ho jaata hai na !!!! Yehi kehte hai na sab ..
HAPPY that letter went to Ana nothe to maan ..can't see maan broken ..he is in mess thinking abt geet ..if he get to know geet run away what will he do ...he went to see her where he got to know she went away ...all he want is her comeback ...me too wish same ..
So still Geet running away from Maan & He still don't know about this. Only Antra is the one who knows the truth. Hoping she can bring back Geet before Maan knows the fact Geet is running away from him. Waiting for the next update.