@Sheen pg.61: arrey aisa nahin hain ki reply nahin karti yaar... ab I don't actually know what to write to you. de do jhappis aur pappis..dhakkan ke dimag ki batti jald hi jalne wali hain. hold your breath. give me 3-4 updates more.
@maansi25 p.62: who have you compared me with? My My...they are a league ahead of me..way too ahead. I am just testing waters here they are already way too deep. And I respect all of them. But thank you for your kind words and the love. I don't think I have done enough to deserve this... but every time I read comments of people like you, I feel like working even harder to create something even better than this. thank you so much for being here. @mishtiritu p.63: I have no idea what I have written so please mujhse mat poochna... its for me to write and you to feel. wo tumhara kaam hain
@PaintedSky p.64: nasamjhi bhi tho pyaar karne ka ek bahana hain..
@dalur p.65: about Maan and Ana... I have written only what I believe. I have a younger brother too and my cousins look up to me because I am the eldest child of the generation(trust me it is no fun) . and I always tell them that its their life. No one but they can control it. So do things what you wish to but be ready to be accountable for them. we just cannot control anyone's life... so being over protective isn't going to help. it is going to suffocate them instead. Page numbers... let me try this time. if its feasible, I will put them up. everyone gives such awesome comments that i find it hard to choose one to reply to. and in all honesty, more often than not, i feel guilty about not being able to reply to all of them. sometimes its the patience and more often, its the time constrains.
@Sandy p.66: Handwritten letters are my favorite. although when I grew up, those handwritten letters vanished but I am old school. I believe in personal touch. and letters are my favorite of the lot. I have written letters to my once best friend... although its a different thing that I never received a reply. I have written handwritten notes to a few of my fav people in the world... some replied via electronic media. some didn't. and someday I wish to get a handwritten note for myself...
@vrishtigoel pg.67: I think I have replied you a few times earlier too...thanks so much for being here
@Taranageet pg67: Oh I am absolutely fond of cats... and if it interests you, 90degrees was a real life kitty @Commelina p.69: You don't know how happy I am to see you here gosh... it feels like am sitting in an exam suddenly. hope i am able to reach up to your expectations. You must know that I absolutely adore you... as a writer, as a person and as a friend. I loved loved loved the way you penned down lines for Kabir. I am pretty sure you will love Kabir as a person and his chemistry with Geet.
@paponecon p.74: indeed... is even a confession necessary? btw where had you been all these days?
@All The New Readers and Those I didn't reply to: I am so very lucky to have you people around. never think that I ignore you. I read all of yours... but just that there are always time constrains. I will slowly reply to all of you.
A/N: okay...here comes the good (or bad...I don't know) news. I am starting work from Monday i.e from 12th June and I doubt i will have any more time on weekdays to update. weekends... I will try my level best. The first week is going to to crazy. Life is changing. and I have to gear up. But rest assured people. I will be slow in updating but I WILL NOT ABANDON THE STORY. I will COMPLETE this so, don't panic if you don't see me updating as a regular pace. Give me a little time to settle and I will update at least once a week.
It has been a very long journey with you people...I had been in school when I came here and now, I think so much time has passed. My time always stopped whenever I was in the forum. But I now I know...it had never stopped. Thank you all for being with me. You guys are my second "home"
57.Feelings Without A Name...
That night we lay on the dark brown carpet and you told me that expected thing I closed my eyes and tried to do the soft and mutable equation of what we do and what we promise to do and I just couldn't think for the sound of strange doors opening and old ones closing. You know I'm not good with figures even when the world is still and calm. But now I will answer you as best I can: and the feeling was without a name like the true colour of light before it is fractured and labelled containing simply everything in the known and unknown spectra of my life.
The faint footsteps and something falling woke her up but she remained still until she heard the faint click of the door opening and then closing. A few moments passed in silence and then she opened her eyes and turned back to find the side of her bed empty. She rubbed her eyes and sat up. Tuning on the bed lamp, she checked the time and sighed in defeat.
Something was definitely up with Geet...
As much as she was tempted to go and check on her, she decided otherwise. If she took too long, then and only then she'd go and check on her. It had been quite a few times that she had found Geet missing from her room in the middle of the nights and then she'd be back by morning. Maybe she just went to the kitchen to fill her jug or that she was hungry. Ana had never pondered much but this was getting insanely curious now. Closing her eyes, she waited for her friend to come back.
She tiptoed into the study and found nobody there. She had been in KM for the weekend because from Monday, she'd be extremely busy with her new job. It wasn't planned. It was only Saturday that Radhika called her for dinner to celebrate her new job and then they made her stay back the night. She sighed and agreed knowing there was no chance she could refuse. She'd be back home the next day.
The smell of the books welcomed her and she felt she was home after ages. Turning on the lights, she stood on her toes in front of the bookshelf, picked up a book and sat on the floor. She hadn't spoken to him after that dinner at her place. He had been busy. And somehow, she knew she'd find him the study. It was only quarter past midnight. She just knew he'd come. And hence, she wasn't disappointed when she had found the study empty. The warm rug on the floor was her favourite spot now. She flipped on her stomach, crossed her legs in the air and turned the pages.
The cold of October seeped in stealthily through the cracks of the bay window and she shivered, sleeping on the book. In a few days, Halloween would approach and take the entire country in a wave of ghostly merry. Halloween, the previous year, had been uneventful and melancholy for her. And suddenly she had so much on her plate to think of things that made her sad. Time flies quickly.
And in her sleep, she heard the cracking of embers like crickets chirruping in the silent night and something warmed her up. She felt nice and cozy. In an effort to stretch herself, she realized she had a book beneath her head. She opened her eyes and sat on her knees, rubbing her eyes.
How did I sleep off?
The crackling of embers broke the silence again and she looked up at the direction of the mantelpiece. The fire rose higher feeding on the woods and brightened up his face in its glowing flame.
The turtle necked black tee paired with those rimless glasses, sitting on his haunches by the fireplace greeted her... his face half illuminated by the bright flames and half illuminated dimly by the soft lights of the room. She stilled in time, taking in that marvel of the moment into her eyes and saving it in one corner of her brain. That man took her breath away. The lenses of his specs reflected the flame and she stopped breathing when their gazes met.
"Why were you sleeping in the cold?" he asked after a pregnant pause.
She looked utterly adorable in her pyjamas and top and that cute little pink mouth agape in her stillness.
His voice made her sigh as she tore her eyes away from the alluring image he formed.
"I...I don't know when I feel asleep. I was reading this book..."
She raised the book up to show him and watched him walk close to her and sit beside her on the floor.
"You don't like sitting on the chair now, do you?" he smiled faintly.
She shrugged, pulling the book on her lap, "It's comfortable like this... I can roll around and stretch myself and read..."
He stretched his legs and relaxed, "Which book are you reading?"
She placed the bookmark on the page she was reading and forwarded him the book.
His eyes twinkled in the light, "Ahh the Russian supremo..."
"Have you read this?"
"Yep." He nodded, "The Brothers of Karamazov was one of my favourite books in college.."
"It's lovely actually. I was reading this conversation between Ivan and Alyosha and then I don't know how I just dozed off."
"It's an amazing book which was originally in Russian but had a great impact on the world. From Einstein and Sigmund Freud to Vladimir Putin and Hillary Clinton... this book had a huge impact on all of them."
He spoke as if someone had keyed him just by mentioning one of his favourite books and she heard him in enthusiasm as he narrated the facts related to the book.
"You know what, a copy of this book was found near Leo Tolstoy's night stand when he died." His eyes twinkled in delight and she smiled faintly, letting him continue. He had so many things to say and she had so only so much to listen.
"Back in my college days, I had time to read so many books and Ana would at times ask me to read it aloud to her..."
"Yeah... she was in High School then... and she loved books being read to her."
A faint memory of those times swirled in his head that made him smile in nostalgia.
She flipped on her stomach, lying down beside him and rested her weight on her elbows, "read it to me then..."
She gave him an encouraging smile, "when I was a kid, my mother used to read books loud to me. After her death, my father took over the charge he would sit beside me for hours and keep reading until I feel asleep..."
He adjusted his specs, in his usual way, over the bridge of his nose and felt himself traveling back in time.
"Just don't sleep off okay?"
She nodded her head and waved her legs in the air, listening to him read out. She knew he was passionate about books but she never knew he loved reading it out too.
"...Your expectant eyes ceased to annoy me, I grew fond of them in the end, those expectant eyes. You seem to love me for some reason, Alyosha?'
I do love you, Ivan. Dmitri says of you-- Ivan is a tomb! I say of you, Ivan is a riddle. You are a riddle to me even now. But I understand something in you, and I did not understand it till this morning.'
What's that?' laughed Ivan.
You won't be angry?'Alyosha laughed too.
He modulated his voice as he read out the conversation between Ivan and Alyosha and she closed her eyes, visualizing the entire scene of what could have happened. He kept reading until he felt something heavy on his lap. Pausing a little, he peeked out of the book and smiled. She had her head placed on his thigh as she slept on her back, with her eyes closed. Not willing to disturb her, he continued reading.
"...And I shall not weep from despair, but simply because I shall be happy in my tears, I shall steep my soul in emotion. I love the sticky leaves in spring, the blue sky--that's all it is. It's not a matter of intellect or logic; it's loving with one's inside, with one's stomach. One loves the first strength of one's youth. Do you understand anything of my tirade, Alyosha?' Ivan laughed suddenly."
He stopped and looked at her sleeping on his lap. She wasn't moving though. Her breaths were slow and long. She was asleep perhaps. He kept the book down and ran his hand over her head.
"Geet..." he called her softly.
"Ummm?" she hummed drowsily.
"If you are feeling sleepy, go to your room."
"Ummm no..." she sighed and gently opened her eyes only to find his dark eyes peering down at her.
"I... I was thinking something."
She looked uncertain about something. her eyes spoke of that. She looked scared.
He blinked, "What is it?"
She watched his face leaning over hers, his eyes looking deep into hers and she remained as she was, resting her head on his lap.
"This new life... it scares me Maan.." she let it out and raised her hand and placed it on his cheek, feeling that skin. She had never felt this strong urge to express herself to him so openly.
The light stubble scrubbed against her soft palm and she felt ticklish. Her cold hands cupped his cheeks and held him in place.
"And it is scary because?" he raised a brow at her, sighing every time her palm gently grazed his cheek. She had come close to him all by herself; made the first move. He felt delighted.
"Because...I don't know what is going to happen. I cannot see Ana and Kabir as and when I want to. I cannot come to the estates anymore... more than that, I... I just can't see you whenever I wish to..."
She confessed and he felt a myriad of emotions hit him. Emotions that started from extreme happiness to the innate urge to kiss her and tell her that she will be okay...that she needn't worry... and that he would always be at her back.
"Geet..." he spoke with a heavy yet gentle voice and his warm hands clasped hers over his cheek. She curled her fingers around him and his heart melted at the sight of her face and her gesture.
"Remember... a frog in the well, does not know the ocean..."
She loved that feel of his fingers curling along hers as she stared at their entwined fingers. They looked so...
"You are going to see the ocean now little storm..." his voice brought her back to him and she focussed her gaze on his face.
"What...what if I mess up?" she asked, recalling the number of times she had messed up with him. He always saved her. Now she'd have no one.
"You... You won't be there..." she voiced out her fear.
He smiled and pressed a kiss on the back of her palm clasped within his hold.
"I told you earlier right...I can't be with you all the time."
"But..." she didn't pull back her hands and clasped him tighter.
"Shhh..." he shushed her, "Don't think. And don't be afraid to fall...alright?"
She still didn't look confident. Her head still rested on his lap and he smoothed her hair with his free hand.
"Do you know what I expect of you Geet?" he asked, looking at the crackling flames that now had started to warm them up.
"Umm?" she looked at his face to gain his attention but she didn't succeed. She followed his gaze and stopped at the flames.
"I expect you to be on your own... and then fall if you have to. But then, get up and start afresh. You won't find me beside you all the time... but I want you to remember that we all are here for you, cheering for you. And if you ever had to turn back, I will be standing there, behind you to hold you...but I don't want you to stop.."
He meant every word he said and she almost cried. A drop of tear rolled down her eyes and fell on his lap. She didn't know what to make out of this man. She knew he'd always be there for her...that was nothing new. But the way he said it...he assured her of his being and that meant the world. She had the urge to get up and hug him and she did too. Sitting on her knees, she swiftly went into his arms and he pressed her close. She gave in to it.
"Life is changing Maan..." she whispered.
His embrace was like "home" she had missed all these days. She didn't have to fear anything when she was there.
"It will take more turns Geet... go ahead."
"What if...What if I lose sight of you all..."
"You cannot have everything at the same time.." he didn't let her complete her sentence, "Take one step at a time. Things will fall into place. You get it?"
She nodded but not convincing enough. And so, he pulled her out his embrace and cupped her cheeks, pulling her close.
He looked straight into her eyes, "Do you get that Geet?"
He asked firmly now, raising his voice a little and she peered into his orbs, nodding.
"Good..." he sighed and pressed a kiss on her forehead.
She closed her eyes. And for a change, he lingered a little longer than needed. She didn't mind. She, in fact, revelled in the feel of his touch. Her fingers clutched his shirt over his chest and held her breath.
With him, things were always so easy...
She walked towards Ana's room and he stood by the door of the study, watching her retreating figure. Things had changed so much. The silence came back again and he left a breath as he turned back to retrace his steps into the study.
"So, when are you going to tell her? or have you already told her?"
A familiar voice checked him and stilled. Hoping against all hopes, he turned back and sighed in defeat, seeing his sister stand in front of him, tapping her foot on the ground.
"Ana? What are you doing here?" he hoped she didn't question him right now.
"I am obviously not sleeping." She bit out, "and wouldn't someone freak out if she found her best friend missing from her room, not just for one night but more than that now..."
He ran his fingers across his hairs, "Now that you know your best friend is safe and sound, go back to sleep."
He walked back and heard footsteps. In just a few strides, his sister stood right in front of him, demanding and commanding answers.
"Not now Ana...I am busy.."
She narrowed her brows, "Oh really? You weren't busy with her but when it comes to me, you are busy?"
He sighed. There was nothing to hide. He was a man with no secrets. He was transparent like water...his grandmother always told him so.
"Its not like that..." he tried to keep a firm tone.
"Bhai..."Ana whined, "You remember how we promised to share everything with each other? When I can share about Arjun with you, why can't you tell me about Geet? Why didn't you? How fair is that now?"
His sister was right. Sooner or later, someone had to find out. He was glad it was Ana. Kabir would have teased the hell out of him.
He walked inside and sat on dadima's rocking chair. Ana followed suit and plopped herself on the ottoman.
"what do you want to know?" he asked.
"Everything. From the very beginning. How did it all start?"
Her excited eyes made him smile.
He took time to recall things and gather his thoughts.
"Honestly, I don't know when it started. But when I realized what it was, I was already too deep into it..."
Ana gaped at her brother. She had never seem him like this... a little lost, a little unsure and she knew he was trying so hard to not feel embarrassed about being caught like this.
"Is she your girlfriend bhai?" she asked with excitement.
He laughed and shook his head, "No. Not girlfriend."
"yeah. Nothing as of now. We are just two entities who enjoy each other's company... well that's what she thinks..."
"and what do you think? Is she like Sarah?"
He shook his head, "She isn't Ana. she is different from everyone else. she is just herself'."
"Are you in love with her?"
She attacked him spearheaded leaving no chance for him to escape. The hints had been very leading. And she looked at her brother with sheer confidence because she knew that was how she could coax answers out of him. And it worked.
He took time to confess and she was almost scared that her plan failed. But his answer came a wave of euphoria in her.
"Oh My God... Bhai.. You are in love with her... OMG OMG I am so happy for you..."
She ran to her brother and hugged him. He could do nothing but smile at his sister.
"Did you tell her? Did you?"
Her jaws dropped to the ground in surprise, "Whattt?? But... but why? Bhai???"
He shook his head and made her sit back on the ottoman, "Not yet..."
"Do you even plan to tell her?"
He shrugged, "I guess so..."
"but when?" she seemed distraught at the thought.
"When she is ready to listen, understand and grasp the fact..."
"But what is wrong with now'?"
She wasn't buying any of his excuses now.
"I have my reasons. You should better go to sleep she must be looking for you."
"Bhai...you can't change the topic!!"
"I am Not. I just said I have my reasons. Go back to your room now."
His firm voice gave her answers. He wasn't willing to answer and she knew he wouldn't answer by hook or by crook. And the best thing she could do as of now was respect his privacy. She hugged him, telling how happy she was and said her good night and walked out, not before stopping by the arch that joined the study and the antechamber.
"You know what Bhai, don't wait to tell. You only tell me this right...now its my turn. There is no better moment than now.'"
She walked away and all he could do was staring into nothingness.
Life was about to begin now...
They say when Life Happens, You are not left with a position to stop and look back.
Geet suffered the same fate. Her life ran a marathon and she got swept along. Amidst all the chaos, she never realized when Halloween came and left and when Thanksgiving was gone and she missed dinner at the estates. Her new job was demanding and she had no time to even stop and breathe. At first she thought it was change of environment that had kept her busy but as the days passed into a month, she saw less of Ana and Kabir and even lesser of Maan.
"Hey, ready to go?" Zain tapped her shoulder.
She had found Zain as her colleague on first day to work. And somehow she was glad that a known face was around. The workplace was way different than Maan's. He was very organized and so were his office and his staff. This place was a party she had never been to before. The people were so different here, some weird, some liberated...way too liberated actually and some gay. They enjoyed every bit of their time together, working, talking, partying and more working. Her boss was strict at the beginning but when she had started getting a hand of it, he had been extremely nice to her. Zain had been helpful too.
"yeah... lets go.." she picked up her bag as they walked out along with their group for a celebration dinner.
Maan had been out of the New York for some work. Initially, she had been calling him on a regular basis to tell him about the day and the people and he told her about the projects he had at hand. College and job was so demanding that she just couldn't visit the estates. On weekends, she'd be tired as hell and busy catching up with her studies. Ana visited her too but even that reduced to almost nil because she was working too.
Her phone rang and a smile appeared on her lips.
He loved the way she called him. Peeling away the tie from his neck, he felt refreshed.
"How are you Geet?"
"Am okay... just busy. How was your day? You are still in Toronto right?"
"Yeah... just got back to my room after the party. Its exhausting..."
"Sleep off then. When are you coming back?"
She felt so happy talking to him after ages.
"In 3 more days I guess. You have been busy of late...what are you learning Geet?" he asked playfully.
She giggled, "Nothing. Just out for dinner with colleagues. It's Vivian's engagement dinner..."
"Oh... you are enjoying..."
"Okay Maan... I gotta go.. they are calling. Apparently, Zain is going to sing I guess.."
He stopped unbuttoning his shirt, "Zain?"
She bit her tongue, "Arrey... you remember him na? Zain...the guy Ana and I had met in a cafe and later I had found him to be my colleague... I had told you Maan on the first day of my office when I had found out about him. Have you forgotten?"
He recalled the day he had picked her up from the office on the first day of her work. She has been tired but ecstatic about her and told him her rendezvous with Zain. He had been happy that she was making new friends but today, somehow, that name made him cringe. Form what he had known, he was the only friend she had there... more of the only person she talked about these days.
"Ohh alright..." he nodded, "Enjoy your dinner and be careful while getting home. Call Kabir if you need to..."
"I will be fine Maan..." she interrupted.
"Good. I will reach NY on Saturday I guess. Don't keep any plans that evening. Okay?"
She was in a hurry to get back and hence, she nodded, "yep. Okay. bye now."
She was gone in a jiffy. He shook his head as he kept the phone on the table and went to freshen up.
--------------------------------------------- >>Long Update for the delay. Poem at the beginning is what I found over the internet. All credits to the poet.
>>We are getting into something. Lets see what this leads to.
>>See You may be... next weekend. And if time permits, I will see you mid-week.
The books u mentioned in your stories.. Have u read all those..??
Are you avid reader?? If so What's ur favorite genre? Just curious...
Now coming back to story,
Study is the best romantic place in this story.. Maaneet relations has grown beautifully.. They are so comfortable with each other without any hesitation.. Maan knew of his state.. But Geet is ready to accept the feeling without fear.. That's really a step forward from her side.. Hope she overcomes it fully and accept him with all her heart.
Omg Ana knew.. But I expected her to much shocked.. Might be she already got that doubt something is happening between them.. Afterall she is Maan's sister...
And it's Awesome.. Someone else knows now.. seeing them Ana should have got an impression that both are in love.. Or did she got that Geet is in love but still didn't understand..
Now we can see bhai-behen planning something secretly.. Hope Kabir also gets to know soon.. :P Some teasing in front of Geet but she couldn't decode it..
So when is Maan gonna propose since Ana said "There is no moment better than now"
""I expect you to be on your own... and then fall if you have to. But then, get up and start afresh. You won't find me beside you all the time... but I want you to remember that we all are here for you, cheering for you. And if you ever had to turn back, I will be standing there, behind you to hold you...but I don't want you to stop..""
This man is the dream guy for every woman
How lucky Geet is .. She has someone who is behind her always no matter what. Wish everyone has someone like that in their life..
Geet started to work in new environment.. Glad she is doing well there.. Good going Geet.. She not clumpsy as she thinks..
Zain is a colleague of Geet.. Oh god.. Hope Zain doesn't start loving Geet..
Waiting to see jealous Maan and jealous Geet too..
Hope the arrival of Zain make Maan tell his love fast.. And Maaneet closer