Sigh ... how boringly easy it's been to hoodwink the lot of them here in Oberoi Mansion. My greatest weapon has been wielded with nary a quizzical look directed at it. But then genius lies in simplicity. Although, it has not been the work of a moment to devise this sparkling grin which hides delicious malevolence. All that endless flossing. God bless my diligence.
How easily they all succumb to it's radiant dazzle. Daksh puttar, Daksh beta, Daksh bhaiya ... and so on and on and on. It gives me hours of amusement to see them all putty in the face of a mere smile. The answering tugs on their lips as they always, but always, forget to look behind the facade.
By the way, you have noticed how mine differs from the gormless one of that Reyaan chap, haven't you? Hmm ... maybe I'll give him the number of a good orthodontist next time I see him around. Or maybe not. Rudy baby may soon fix his teeth for free I suspect. I note that Rudy has developed a penchant for donning fancy dress lately. If accidentally getting hitched while dressed up as a dulha didn't cure him of it, I doubt anything will. Mother's genes, I guess. On an aside, I think those earrings with the banjara costume would have looked nice with today's lehenga.
Tej uncle reminded me of Svets. Wonder where she is. Now there is a woman who could bat eyelashes like no other. And that silky mane she used to constantly toss. Remember her doing that a lot when we were kids. She used to be rather sweet to us. Bribing us with chocolates to waylay Jhanvi aunty whenever Tej uncle was around. Om was rather taken with her. He was pretty intense even then. Spent a lot of time watching The Omen and practicing his looks on Tej uncle. Used to spook him out he did. I see not an awful lot has changed over the years!
Well the one person who hasn't changed, and is still an utter darling is Daadi. I do so adore her. She will be hurt emotionally once I'm done. However, collateral damage is sadly unavoidable. But, she's a trooper. She'll bounce back.
The one who won't be bouncing anywhere other than against the nearest wall, will be my arch enemy, Shivaay Singh Oberoi. I hate that I am beholden to that conniving Tia for providing me with ammunition, but hey needs must. She may look like an airhead, but she sussed me out pretty sharpish when we first met. In her lingo, maybe that's what the universe wanted all along. Although why it wanted to inflict her dress sense on the rest of us is anyone's guess. But, I digress.
You may be wondering about the cause of my hatred for Billu. (Dadi, another reason I love you is for saddling him with a name like that!) See, he's always bested me all my life. Be it kindergarten, high school, college, girlfriends, sports, teachers, everything. They would all be like Aww look at Shivaay, isn't he so clever, so smart, so the bees knees ... well you get what I mean. My parents were fully paid up members of the Shivaay admiration society as well. It was nauseating. Shivaay this, Shivaay that, Shivaay three bags full sir! Why can't you be like him, achieve like him, play like him. And the biggest problem was the kid was nice to me. I so wanted to beat him up, but he just wouldn't give me the opportunity. So, I used to just grin and grin and grin while my brain was in a permanent state of conflagration.
I quickly saw the advantages of my charming grin though. Of its usefulness as the facade I'd mentioned earlier. It certainly fooled Billu all those years back. As it does even today. Not a lot of people know this, but it was I who set him on the hypochondriac path. Sly little suggestions here and there, a little pleading about how I'd hate to have anything happen to my friend, a little feigning and voila. So easy to play him. As I have been doing now. I mean, how plausible is it to instantly fall so madly in love that nothing short of marriage will do. Just because he fancies her rotten, he assumes everyone will! I just know what buttons to push and which wires to strum. Falls for it every time he does.
Having said that, teetering on that railing was a bit tiresome. And they didn't have any Evian in the house. Himalaya just doesn't cut it. Oh, and then that chlorine in the pool was ruinous for my hair. Between you and I, my hair is the only thing I'm slightly vain about. (Before you say anything about my genius, that is nothing to do with vanity. It just is, okay.) And finally the world has caught up with me and recognised the inherent virility implicit in the Man bun. Om should so take tips from me.
Anyway, I've convinced Shivaay about my intentions. He looks pretty shaken up and befuddled, doesn't he?! Candy from a baby it is. Ugh, I do wish he'd give me a bit of a fight for once. Methinks that Annika will be a more worthy opponent here. Quite feisty, isn't she?! And a bit of a bombshell. That Diwali outfit is a bit out there, no? Not that I'm complaining. As for that Bua of hers, bit of a misnomer there I'd say.
All this smooth sailing was outraging my devious brain. It's also a little bit insulting to a genius of my calibre really to have things just drop in place. So, I thought I'd spice things up a bit. Drop a bit of a hint. Ergo, that doll dropping in to say hello. Rictus grin in place. Will they get it? I hope so. After all, you guys need to see me deploy my arsenal in full.
Note:
This is a fun piece, so please don't take offence. I wrote it after watching the sneak peek into Monday's episode. The doll reminded me of The Joker as did Daksh's perpetual grin!
As Rudy said, Bura na maano, Diwali hai ;)
~ Ruchi
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