Idhar Udhar | ArHi Story (Ch 4 - Pg 5 - UPDATED 18/07) - Page 4

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Posted: 6 years ago
Hi AT ji, 

The first thing I notice is the length of the sentences. I tend to read fast but now am learning to slow down, even re-read a few lines, to capture the essence in it's entirety. 

I love the dialogues and each and every character portrayed is unique in their own way, have their own individualities setting them apart. Were Arnav and Khushi the same people 10 years ago? How different they were, time will only tell. 

The reactions that follow after Arnav self-invites himself, is a clue that he has changed by leaps and bounds over the years. Chori-chipe talking needs practice and Khu and Aru have quite the experience. They are managing to fool Akash and Aditi at the moment, I think she might pick up a hint soon and yet remain mum and let Khushi do the honors like promised. 

Aditi - There is always a sweet girl like her in every class in every school.  Now does Aman too have a crush on her, or is it just Akash? 

It is going to interesting to know what professions the rest are in, Khushi being a super model is intriguing enough. 

Planning a get together is challenging, never knew it was this easy. It's just that priorities matter and of course the company. 

Chapter Teen going to be thrice as long? The updates are amazing enough and having long ones are an added bonus. 
Edited by zeffy2k2 - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
Oh I wanted to know AT ji, is it okay if I leave a comment here or do I need to drop it by on the blog as well?  Embarrassed

Khu and Aru ki idhar udhar ki baaton mein, Mr. Sexy Hair ke baare mein bhool hi gaye  That is clearly a highlight, something being heard for the first time, in terms of a hair brush. Does Khushi have a short hair cut by any chance? 


Edited by zeffy2k2 - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
Originally posted by zeffy2k2


Oh I wanted to know AT ji, is it okay if I leave a comment here or do I need to drop it by on the blog as well?  Embarrassed

Khu and Aru ki idhar udhar ki baaton mein, Mr. Sexy Hair ke baare mein bhool hi gaye  That is clearly a highlight, something being heard for the first time, in terms of a hair brush. Does Khushi have a short hair cut by any chance? 


 

Dropping a comment on either forum is fine...if you're feeling extra generous, please do drop in comments on both ;) :D

About Khushi's hair length - I honestly havent really thought about it but it would be safe to say that its neither too long nor too short... :p

Also - Aman and Aditi are in a relationship, they have been in one since school. Akash mentions this in the first chapter  :)
Edited by AngelTeen - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
Originally posted by AngelTeen


Dropping a comment on either forum is fine...if you're feeling extra generous, please do drop in comments on both ;) :D

About Khushi's hair length - I honestly havent really thought about it but it would be safe to say that its neither too long nor too short... :p

Also - Aman and Aditi are in a relationship, they have been in one since school. Akash mentions this in the first chapter  :)

If AT ji as a writer you can be generous with the word length, I think a reader can be as well with the comments. 

So does MrSexyHair have a counterpart as well? I think since she is a model she might have medium length hair. Waiting to see how you describe the color now. 

Yes, I knew I was missing something. Thank you for pointing the fact out. It would be interesting to watch Khushi and Akash tease each other, presuming he is unaware of her relationship status. Why do I have a feeling Akash is acting it all along, I think he secretly knows Khu and Aru are in a relationship. 


Edited by zeffy2k2 - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
simply superb
loved it
Posted: 6 years ago
AT ji, 

Wow Chapter 'Teen' took such a sharp turn, in terms of intensity. What I like is the transition it has taken from the previous chapter. 

I love how minutely and wonderfully you describe actions, reactions all along.  Each and every single one of them. 

Why do I feel Aditi is the key to everything, she will play a major role in setting things right. Her portrayal as a sweet person has a deeper meaning. Maybe once she gets to know about Akash, she might let go Aman for the sake of him. That does not make sense, given Aman is heterosexual. But, I also cannot help but imagine what would her reaction be to Akash's revelation. 

Arnav on the other hand would be pleasantly surprised that Khushi didn't let him in on the secret. Or would he be angry, let down? Akash was clearly angry with Arnav's previous attitude and managed to shock Khushi, deeply affect her with the latest revelation. People change over time, how would the dynamics between the trio change after the truth is revealed is going to be an interesting read ahead. 

In the beginning, the dynamics between Khushi and Akash does not bear any consequences, but the moment she is around Aman, Arnav cannot help but feel jealous, does that suggest he might know about Akash's real nature already? Aman and Aditi are oblivious for obvious reasons, but Arnav is his family, right? 

Just a few random observations, 

Khushi is rich, well off. Maybe everyone is. But then, she traveled by the Metro as well. Just that her parent's driver bit led to the conclusion in addition to partying in Hauz Khas.

Arnav met Khushi in Amreeka, Aditi's suspicion was nicely put to rest, unless she persues it further. Also, he does not dance? 

Last but not the least, Akash's grief is captured very well and one cannot help but wish that he gets to lead a life he deserves to live for soon. The layers added to the characters are thought out to a great extent and it is very easy to get addicted to your charaters. 
Posted: 5 years ago

Chapter Four updated!


Edited by AngelTeen - 5 years ago
Posted: 5 years ago
Originally posted by prpk525


Loved the update


Thank You :)

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