Neha's Behavior

Does anyone else agree or disagree?  

Thank you

Exactly my point. I think they have never tried to understand her from psychological point. She says she became a mother just at the age of 9. This itself shows that she is so much frustrated and hurt for not able to live her childhood like a child and also may be the reason for not wanting kids after marriage. Her mami always puts fire into this which is making neha a difficult person. More than that the mom-son duo seem to be busy in there own past and sacrifices made by them. But they need to show neha that they have not forgot her sacrifice also. She is also as emotional as her mom and bro. They really need to attend neha before her life is totally spoilt. 

And look at the way Ishwari says..."Shayad mujhse koi galtiyaa huyee hongi"...excuse me?? Huyee hongi?? She is still not sorry for what she did to Neha...

Because imagine a 9 year child is made to leave her school(happens a lot in villages and smaller towns in india and in labour class even in 21st century) forget all her dreams(every child has a dream in life) and then made to baby sit and mother two younger sisters and also do all house hold work. This while elder son - only son of house is sent to private school(provided best of education and opportunity) and allowed to flourish his childhood. 

OK till now its fine, it happens in majority indian(and asian) society that son education comes first and if there is less money first son will get to study his choice in big private schools while daughter can take a low cost course and go to government schools. Just look around even today in many lower middle and middle class family first son education is given prominence, son dreams come first, son gets every thing he asks be it going to picnics or buying them best dresses, go to tuitions etc (when money is tight) and girls usually are not sent to picnics, sports or tutions usually. Further rarely shall a girl be encouraged to take up professional courses as they cost a lot.  

With this back ground i can understand that Nehas dreams and studies were never of importance to Ishwari. Her full concentraion was Dev her ticket to happiness her budape ka lathi. Why Neha could not be seen as a budape ka lathi is because in our society girls are paraya dhan means they marry and go to husband house so why waste money on them attitude. OK fine here also Neha is like crores of other daughters. 

But what i fail to understand why she could not do private SSLC or studies? Anyone can sit for exams by paying fees and Dev could have taught her -- she could have used his books to study. But Ishwari and Dev completly forgot her dreams only their dreams. All life people will treat her badly as she is anpad( not passed school) and wonder how her husband and in laws too shall treat in future? If Neha had finished her studies and gone to work she could have decided her life on her own rather than depend on brother and mother. 

Now regarding Neha not wanting to be mother - neha is mother and house wife since age of 9 for her family, she is already 20 years(lets assume she is 28-29) into cooking, moping, sweeping, changing sisters nappy, taking care of younger siblings etc who will not get fed up after some years. All house wives get fed up of this role after certain age Neha has also lost interest and does not want to do it. So demand for servant. 

Demand for in laws to stay seperate comes from fear of her over dominant mom and brother Dev. She thinks like these two her in laws will squash all her further dreams too and make her only a housewife to take care of husband, kids, cook, sweep, mop

Next demand is not to have babies - she already was mom at 9 years for 2 baby sisters. She knows how tough it is to take care of babies alone single handed and that experience was traumatic for her may be. Imagine at 2am you are deep asleep and baby cries and your mom does not get up, its a 9 year old kid who is expected to get up and feed, change diapers, bathe or console crying baby. Imagine 9 year old busy cooking and baby cries and Neha busy cooking and mom scolds her for being too busy in cooking and ingoring baby. I am sure all this has happened with her. 

I know of a lady who baby sit four of her younger sibling from birth, was not sent to school for 6 months after birth of each sibling (only attended 4 months of school those years) while her elder brother was sent to a posh private school in a big city(she was from small town). This lady was not allowed to study after 10th std when her 5 brothers all did masters and professional courses etc. I have head this lady tell of horror stories while taking care of four young siblings while she herself was just 5 years or 6 years old(from that age). She would cook for family, put their tiffin boxes and books and take them all to school and get them back to house. They would play and do home work while this lady would again get busy in house work. Imagine a child from 5 years old till she married doing all this for her four younger siblings. It was not that her parents were not well off or they could not afford her to go to school or that mom went to work etc so she had to do all this, that was the way it was in her family with not only her but many other girls it was expected they took care of younger siblings and do house hold work etc. Best part is none of the 4 younger siblings or parents were greatful to her. She sacrificed so much and yet she was not respected after all she was a girl, she was married off and forgotten. Her brothers are in well to do jobs and very good position while she was not that much educated and was also married in a not so well to do rich family(as they do not want to spend on her dowry etc). So here she was doing lowly jobs(with 10th std pass you do not get good jobs nowadays) to feed her family(kids). 

 

Not every brother is a Dev. Dev is one in millon brother who recognize his sister sacrifice but majority do not. So Neha is similar to this lady. So i can understand from where this anger and hatred arises in Neha and its justified.