Originally posted by taramira
Patti's situation reminds me of someone close to me whose mother in law recently turned 87. She lives here with them and she was telling me that how difficult it's becoming to care for her. She's presenting signs of first stage dementia, and is therefore always confused and also becomes aggressive at times. Life here can be the most lonely, horrible life being alone all day with literally no one to talk to . The kids go to school, coup,e off to their work. She can't even heat her own food lest she forgets to switch off the gas. The older son or my friend come home during the day from school/ work to heat food when they can for her, at other times it's kept in hot boxes. She goes to india to be with her extended family for about 6 months but wants to return back because son is here. Travelling is now becoming impossible and the mention of a care home is tauba tauba. She was saying it will become impossible to care for her as her dementia progresses and they live in constant fear that something might happen to her. They can't go for family dinners, can't go to people's homes, can't do anything because she creates a big fuss and doesn't let them go.
Old age can be such a curse and your family who cares for you can only do so much and no more. Hats off to appa, amma and vandu and bala for caring about periappa and pati so much...but sometimes it just becomes too much.
True and Nicely put. These are such situations when we feel terribly that life sucks.
I have couple of friends whose parents had dementia and are no more
There's a danger that I've watched from close qtrz and this was in India. Where old ppl on their progressive stages of dementia can't get bk or identify their homes. They forget to take bath or groom themselves. Caregivers have a terribly difficult time giving them care and it's unmentionably expensive to even mention full time costs of a nurse. When they get to the stage of physically getting aggressive, it becomes so difficult to even retain the nurse make or female.
I have my friends telling us so regularly bcos they have seen what their parents have gone through
Asking their close ones to pull the plug on them without a second thought if they were to get it like their parents .
Appa, Amma , Bala and vandu , you can only admire them for this quality irrespective of other fall outs they may have. They have not washed their hands off their parents even under trying circumstances like appa's brother or ambala Anna.
That way they are very resilient , lot of toughness in them even if it's become a duty and it takes a lot of spine to not shirk away. People like Bala have a lot of weaknesses but are not spineless. Edited by Errantnomad - 6 years ago