Originally posted by: moonwearer
<font size="3">I am surprised too at the way Vandhu is dealing with the circumstances of life...
In one of the updates just after the wedding there is a comparison drawn between Akka and Sam with a mention that Sam was the mature one in dealing with matters.
Akka some how has begun to attribute everything she or Bala faces to rant to II and highlight the difference.
Come on you you are directing all your pent up frustrations on the wrong people. At the outset she should have set the limit for II and Shravu in what can be provided and what restrained.
Shravu is being brought up thinking he deserves what he desires, He should have all that Nandhu has. I remember the Dude telling his II you dont have to give material to get kids love.
What i find commendable is the way Ranjan, Raman Sam and Tan easily adapt to what is available and seek how to improve the situation.
I have lived in a joint family all my life. When you receive the care, support and affection you should learn to accept correction as well. Early in my parenthood journey i learnt and consciously decided when my lad was corrected by a family member i will not interfere. I have never raised a little finger on him so when my mother in law whacked him one night my husband's cousin ran to his defense i held her back. She adores the boy and started crying its because i am staying over that the kid(he was 3 then) wanted to sleep on the floor with me and my daughter.
I was very upset at the episode. I was quiet till i barded my bus and broke down to my friend...she listened...asked me does ABHI belong only to you? Your mother in law has looked after him ever since you started working...if she can care for him she can correct him too...he is her ABHI too...grandparents are far more lenient with grandkids...She was experienced and i still hold that interaction close to my heart. When people now admire the way they kid has shaped into a fine young man i know it is not because of me alone. I may have played a significant role but it is the interaction the child has had with so many of his relatives and so many of my friends who would want to have him over for weekends.
He got exposed to computers and had a ride on a double decker with my colleagues husband. He calls him Tatha...i am sure in the days he was with them if he needed disciplining they would have,,,it is a value they were adding to the shaping of the kid.
I find that Vandhu is being very touchy and unreasonable in her expectations. If we have to say its because of her hormones and the life she endures...what about poor II?
Money cant bring back Ma...Money can't erase the Dude's affairs...Money hasn't boosted II's self image.
She is still insecure...she does not go about proclaiming herself as something she isn't. If she is going to go part time when the angel arrives...what a financial mess she is going to be in...the 8 laks she left behind i am sure is being used for all emergencies including the impending Surgery of Janaki Athai...she is left with a little over 10 k after the loan repayments,,,,What will she do when the inflow is drastically cut?
Ranjan and Raman will give II free access to all they have...but will II accept it and pay off the loans atleast so that she can manage her expenses with what she makes...will she atleast accept a joint account to meet the Angel's expenses when her man is away on work?
The spillover of issues from Munirka and DII is actually 70 % of IIs problem. the work woes and money matters and insecurities the rest...
Maybe the fears regarding the marriage needs to be opened up...it might any time soon.
Akka should stop using II to fight her problems and correct her wrongs...she is not infallible as she is made out to be by her family...she is mean and selfish too.
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wow,you said it all and so well.You're right. you're lucky to have such friends. Nowadays most of the others would have proceeded to tell you how awful your Mil was. A kid surely learns from other people. My mom would pamper us but never to the limit than we get everything we ever desired. Even when I would persist, mom would never give in even if she had the resources to buy the things I wanted. she made me learn to accept,we won't get everything we want in life. Vandita is the reason II guilt is here today, all she does is rant about her 'supposedly bad' life but many people living in street could only dream of such life. we should be happy of things we have, it is not bad to want more, what bad is rant it out how bad life you're supposedly living.
she. is saying that her parents don't love her kid, she forget in a sec where she lived after delivery, how amma looked after her with periappa care also.
I appreciate II here,she has problems but atleast she does not rant about them all the time. shes not a drama queen. Appa raised her to be an independent woman and appa is proud of that. she doesn't need money to make her happy. simple things in life makes her happy.
im kind if tired seeing II the punching bag, I want to see if one day shes angry and someone messes with her what happens then? just like she replied to chachu I want her to do the same to anyone who taunt her
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