Twas the Night Before ... poem about CAS!! :)

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Posted: 5 years ago

Inspired by Twas the night before christmas ...

Twas the night before coronation, when all through the royal house,

nothing was stirring, not even a mouse.

When suddenly the great oaf of a king, Bindusar his name,

decided to embark on a journey to uplift his stupid fame.

He held a contest of which might, intellect, and royalty was tested,

His two eldest sons - Sushim the black against Ashok the white contested.

Behind the scenes worked a genius of a man,

Chanakya the designer of the great Mauryan Plan.

He knew that for the sake of Magadh, the state he loved,

that Ashok at his current stage was too naive and by his mother's wisdom, gloved.

Ashok was unable to see except through his heart,

a window of peace-seeking stupidity framed by his mother's fart.

So when Sushim. now prabhavi raja,  crowned,

Ashok decided to serve his brother without wanting to have frowned.

He worked on the behalf of the king,

How foolish was he, we all sing.

He gave to his king all his merits,

Leaving himself with nothing to inherit.

Whatever wrong happened to him, he licked it up with passion,

for that was his mother's teachings and sadly her fashion.

But poor Ashok couldn't take it any more,

When his friend, not lover, was covered in gore.

He was not to meet Ahankara, his mother does beg

But bechara couldn't resist touching and massaging, in the name of friendship and doctors, her leg.

So when a drunk brother comes along and insults his mom,

Ashok, who again disobeyed his ahimsa-wanting mother, loses all calm.

He ends up striking Sushim across the face,

Only to find his arms bound by a brace.

We shift the scene to the courts,

where Sushim tries to extort.

But Dharma lost in random gasps and cries,

Can't even defend her 16 year old prize.

No one in the court has an ounce of brains,

except Sushim who's planned everything with exquisite gains.

Which, when you think about it, is rather surprising.

I mean this guy was an foolish idiot whose plans needed significant revising.

So Ashok admits to save his mom from the burden of being caught,

in a web of lies created by Charu who apparently wasn't even aware of Sushim's thoughts.

He takes on a hundred whip lashes,

Much to the adoration of the twin asses.

And apart from Noor and Dastaan's out of place love affair,

A clear insult to Justin being a giant teddy bear,

A poison girl is sent after Bindusar by Helena to you know ... kill him.

But the poison girl is like the others characters, stupid and dim.

She kills a few soldiers and a doctor,

To maintain her low profile in front of Chanakya the proctor.

But she ends up dealing Chanakya some serious damage,

despite him having a diet of a variety of poisoned cabbage. 

When will this show turn around,

All the characters are simply being weighed down.

Rise and shine CVs, you group of blithering idiots,

I hope you have a sense to listen to your critics.

Because if you can't really understand what this poem is about, 

I got nothing to say but bro, peace out. 


That's all I've really watched / that's all I remember from BB's WUs. Felt inspired by Kaana's CAS --> CSS thread, so I wrote this up. Hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing this. LOLLOL

No offense intended to those who love the show, just some humor mixed with personal opinions :-D

Edited by shyam09 - 5 years ago
Posted: 5 years ago
Originally posted by shyam09

But she ends up dealing Chanakya some serious damage,

despite him having a diet of a variety of poisoned cabbage. 

LOL LOLPoisoned cabbage? 16 year old prize? You crack me up every time.
Posted: 5 years ago
Bang on post ! exactly how every viewer feels

Shyam you are tooo good!! Loved it !
Posted: 5 years ago
OMG Shyam, you're a genius ROFL
Posted: 5 years ago
I don't know what to say Shyam...if I had the authority I would have given you a special award for this one...
Seriously its too good...ROFL
Posted: 5 years ago
Dude you cracked me up like hell.
That was soooper !
Uplift his stupid fame, mother's dart, twin asses, poisoned cabbage, low profile act of VK - too good.
You definitely deserve an award!

Posted: 5 years ago
Shyam fabulous ClapClapClap

If only CAS had writers like you, it would not be in the current crass pathetic negative brainless state
Posted: 5 years ago
Aww you guys are sweet. Thanks so much :)


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