|| ~*~ Harry Potter : A Parody Presented ~*~ ||

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Posted: 6 years ago



[BACK STAGE - AN HOUR BEFORE THE SHOW STARTS]


Mrs. Appy Grosse : WHERE THE HELL are you morons? *Fuming looking around the empty stage* The show is about to start in an hour. Angel STAMMERLING! Oh the ironic name of yours. *Rolls her eyes* 


Angel Stammerling : *comes running* Y-y-yes Ma'am. Any Pr-r-roblem? *looking nervous* 


Mrs. Grosse : Any Problem? ANY PROBLEM? Are you freaking serious? Why is everything not processed yet? *Clutching her hair* 


Miss Stammerling : W- w- well Mrs. Grosse, I am a- al- almost done with the script editing. 


Mrs. Grosse : WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS? I would be a millionaire right now if I someone paid me for taming all you fools. WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING HERE? GO AWAY! 


Miss Stammerling : *Under her breath* S- she'd win the Osc- car Award f- for her OTT r- r-eactions. 


Mrs. Grosse : *Glares at her* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? *crowding her* 


Miss Stammerling : *Takes one step backward* I s- said y- you are a g- great d- director 


Mrs. Grosse : You don't need to tell me that. I know what I Am. NOW GET TO WORK! 


Miss Stammerling : *Turns around to go back and waves her hand near her nose* W- woof. S- she stinks like a s- skunk. I w- wi- wish someone g- gifts her perfume for her next b- birthday. 


Mrs. Grosse : *Pacing the auditorium* Where did that stupid costume designer go?! I am tired of her last minute tweaking. I don't even have the costume list with me. *Walks backstage* NAKHREWALI! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! 


Sannu Nakhrewali : *Humming [Barbie girl Song] and looks at the mirror to see if yellow suits her* You look absolutely breath-taking Sannu!! Oh you have the potential to win Miss World but look at your fate, you have to work with that insane lady Mrs. Grosse... *Rolls her eyes* 


Mrs. Grosse : *Throws a spool of thread at her* WHERE IS THE COSTUMES LIST FOR THE PLAY?! 


Nakhrewali : *Turns around* Oh Mrs. Grosse...you are here. *Smiles sheepishly hoping that she did not hear anything* 


Mrs. Grosse : I AM NOT AT YOUR LITTLE HOUSE FOR A TREAT!! Where is the freaking costume list? Why are you wasting time? NONE of you know how precious time is for Godsake!! *Increase tone* Why are you standing in front of the mirror looking at your ugly pimple covered face when either way you aren't going to be on stage? *Grinding her teeth* USE THAT TIME FOR SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE!! Well, how am I supposed to expect such a fool to know that? HOPELESS.


Nakrewali : *Murmurs* Look who's talking about wasting time. *giggles*


Mrs. Grosse : *Sarcastically* I know I look beautiful, but you are going to stare at me all day long? GET BACK TO FINISHING UP THE LIST DUMB! We start in an hour. 



Nakhrewali : Okay okay Mrs. Grosse... I will finish in 10 minutes. 


Mrs. Grosse : Don't speak... DO IT... Oh lord where is that Mark? *Starts walking towards the green room* 
Edited by SushK16 - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
[AT THE GREEN ROOM]


Mark Asher : Zey baby, look at the mirror and see how wonderful you are now...



Zey : Oh My Goodness Mark! What have you done?! Gelled and flat hair?! I am supposed to have unruly hair. I am Hairy Putter remember? *pfft* *Sandhya starts cracking up seeing Zey's reaction


Mrs. Grosse : *Walks in, ranting to herself* I need to mark all these stupid kids a F in their next exam. 


Mark : *Looks up hearing her* Oh no, no Mrs. Grosse. How could you ever think of failing us? 


Mrs. Grosse: *About to answer but looks at Zey* MAAARRRKKK! What have you done to her hair?! 


Mark : Umm Mrs. Grosse-- Mrs. Grosse : YOU FOOL!! He is supposed to have a bird's nest style!! What the hell were you thinking? WE DON'T HAVE TIME NOW!! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! And look at this Girl, she looks like he just woke up! *Points to Sandhya* 


Mark : Oops... Mrs. Grosse, I was so involved in making Zey look beautiful that I forgot his character... 


Mrs. Grosse : *Rolls her eyes* I CAN'T BELIEVE I TRUSTED A WEIRDO FOR THIS JOB!!! Now get them fixed fast... WE ONLY HAVE 45 MINUTES LEFT! 


Mark : Of course Mrs. Grosse, they will look as good as new in just a few minutes *Winks at the duo* 


Mrs. Grosse : And you girls... You better have your lines memorized or you will be in big trouble... I need the play to be perfect! Am I clear? *The duo nod at her* 


Sandhya : *Whispers to Zey* Blah Blah Blah... This is all she does... The old and stinky woman... 


Mrs. Grosse : OPEN YOUR DAMN MOUTHS AND RESPOND TO ME!!! 


Sandhya : *About to speak* *Mrs. Grosse collides with Mark* 


Mark : Sorry Mrs Goo... YUCK!! *Cupping his nose* Gosh you smell so bad... Wait... *Gets the perfume bottle and sprays at Mrs. Grosse*. Aahhh so much better Mrs. Grosse... *Pulls her cheeks* 


Mrs. Grosse : I WILL KILL YOU THIS INSTANT!! *Turns red in anger while the overs stifle their laugh* Now where is Sush? 


Zey : *Points towards Miss Stammerling* *Mrs. Grosse starts walking up to them* *High-pitched screeching noise from the harmonium* 


Miss Stammerling : *Covers her ears* S- s- sush will you p- please st- top making t- that noise? You are n- not supp- posed to play it f- for real. Wh- where is her d- d- dummy Ha- a- armon- nium? 


Mrs. Grosse : If you ever play that in front of the audience they will run miles away. NONSENSE. 


Sush: But Harmoine had a magic wand in her hand Mrs Grosse, then why this last minute change?


Mrs Grosse : Who is the director? ME! Who has the authority to change the script? ME! Who are you? MY PUPPET. So just do as you are told.


Sush : The show is going to be a gross just like her name. *keeping her harmonium away disappointingly*


Zey : I think right now i'm the one who is looking gross. *looking herself in the mirror*

 

Mark : Oh no...don't say that honey. You have no idea how handsome you are and i think i just made you a li'l more. *looking at him dreamily*


Zey : *throwing a weird look* Uh..okay


Mark : *Dashing towards Sandy* Don't be upset *startling him by gripping his shoulders* You are handsome too. Just like the twinkling stars in the sky.


Sandy : Really? *checks out his non exsistant muscles*


Mark : Awww...yes my kuchie poo. *smacks kisses on his face*


Sandy : Eww...enough Mark. Enough for today. Now get off me. *Distancing him and taking deep relieving breath*


Mark : Okhay Okhay *sheepishly* I'll be back sweetie pies in some time. Hope Mrs. Grosse doesn't fire me. *high-fives with laughing Sush and rushes out of the room*


Sush : Haha...Mark is so cute sometimes. *thuds on a chair*


Sandy : Very *glaring at her and wiping her cheeks*


Zey : I'm Hairy...Hairrryy Puttarrr. WAIT Whaat? Seriously? *wide eyes seeing the script*


Sandy : And I'm Don...Don Weasley. Naam to suna hi hoga. Hayyiin *does an Amitabh Bachchan pose*


Sush : And I'm Harmonium *curling her hair with a wicked smile* beauty with brains and this is my...*comes a screeching noise from the instrument*


Zey : Shut up Sush with your so called instrument.


Sush : *Sush shuts up and looks at the script but speaks up again* Miss Stammerling has totally ruined the script. She has scripted the dialogues the way she speaks...H-hi I'm H-h-harmonium and you a-a-are? *wide eyes*


Zey : But she is the sane person we have...at least saner than Mrs. Grosse.


Sandy : Did someone notice? She has been wearing the same pair of socks for 3 days.


Sush : *immediately cups her nose* Yuck! She stinks a lot. I can't even breathe in her presence. She is surely a burden on this world.


Zey : And her bad temper and gross ideas are going to ruin our play. *hmmphhs*


Sandy : And we are forgetting Miss sexy Sanno Nakhrewaali. *winks*


Sush : Sexy and she? She is Make-up ki dukaan.Vanity at its heights. Oh my god!! I don't have matching earring. What do I do now? Oh My God...pimple on my face.  Oh my god *imitating Miss Sanno Nakhrewaali and rolls her eyes*


Sandy : Hey hey hey...why do I smell something burning??


Sush : Excuse me...


Zey : Guys guys...stop.  We have just some minutes to go. Let's go and get our costumes and there you can decide if Miss Sanno Nakhrewaali is Sexy or Make-up ki dukaan. Now come on otherwise Mrs. Grosse will eat us alive.


Sandy : But eating humans is not made legitimate yet.


Sush : It won't matter to Mrs. Grosse.


*leaves  the green room*



Edited by SushK16 - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago

*45 mins later at St. Francis Catholic High School's Auditorium*

Announcer : Ladies and Gentlemen, Boy and Girls Let's cheer it for our Freshers. They are presenting before you a parody on Harry Potter, the scene where Ron, Harry and Hermione met for the first time. The twist in the tale is that they are presenting when the three Idiot's mate. 

 *The curtains are rolled back revealing Hairy Puttar who is seated on a bench. The back screen flashing picture of a train compartment.*

 Hairy : *scratching his head* Uh- *looks around and smiles at the anxious audience*

 Don : Excuse meee - aahhh *knocks down on the floor*Owww. My head *rubs his head*

 Miss Stammerling : *Behind the stage* D-d-damn.

 Don : Hi! I'm Don Measly.

 Miss Stammerling : Weasely. W-w-weasley *whispers* 

 Hairy: I'm Hairy. Hairy Puttar *ruffling his hair* 

 Don : Haha. Hairy. Haha *leans back laughing* 

 Hairy : What's so funny? *glares angrily*

 Miss Stammerling : Concetr-r-rate Guys.

 Don : Hey! You have that. that-

 Hairy : That What Don?

 Don : Where is your thunder mark? *searching his face and almost audible to the audience*

[Backstage]

 *Mrs. Grosse gasps and turns around to glare at Mark Asher with her blazing eyes who gulps inwardly and bits his nails*

[On the Stage]

Hairy : Ahh.umm it must be..it must be on my scalp...yeah-yeah right...it's on my scalp..so..so you can't see it *grins sheepishly at the audience who sat back and relax and then glares at Don*

 Don : Whaaat? *lips*

 Hairy : So? *forgot his dialogue*

 Don : So? *They blink and just stare at each other*

[Backstage]

Miss Stammerling : S-s-sandy...sweeth-heart go on the stage and t-try to handle everything *nervously*

 Sandy : But...I'm not rea- *and she is pushed onto the stage*

[On the stage] 

Don : Umm the food is good hon *gobbling the jellies* Wow chocolate frog?

Hairy : *smiling wickedly* Yes. Want to have it?

 Don : Yo. Yes. *opens the box and the frog inside jumps and clings on his nose* Oww...No No..Woah. Go. Go. Go away. *screams jumping down the seat*

Frog *croaks and goes jumping to the backstage*

[Backstage]

Mrs. Grosse : I should have known. I should have that you are good for nothing people. WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT ME NOW. DEVIL STAMMERLING?? Run before I bury you alive in the ground.

Miss Stammerling : *gulps seeing the frog vanishing inside her skirt* B-b-but Ma'am..

Mrs. Grosse : Now What? Do you want me to dooo *starts jumping up and down frantically*

[On the stage]

Don : Phew! Horrible!

Hairy : *winks when they hear a thud and froze* 

Don : EARTHQUAKE...EARTHQUAKE!! *Screaming* 

[Backstage]

Mrs. Grosse : WATER!! WATER!!...I'm going to faint. WATER!!!!

[On the stage]

 Harmonium : *comes there stumbling with the instrument hanging around her neck* Hey...hey it's me.

Don : *calms down*you are?

Harmonium : I'm Harmonium. You can call me Hermi. *Smiles*

Don : You're a musician? *hisses when hairy pinches and glares at him*

Hairy : You play it?

Harmonium : How dumb, no this is my magical harmonium. It creates magic. Stop asking stupid questions and get back to your jobs *whispers*

Hairy : Well, Hi! I'm Hairy Puttar.

Harmonium : Woahh!! THE HAIRY PUTTAR!! *stares at him from top to bottom and then his unruly hair* You have that scar???? Can you please show it to me??? *comes closer*

Hairy : *gulps* ermm...

Don : Haha...Haha...Haha

Harmonium : Whaat? *squinted eyes* 

Don : You cannot see it.

Harmonium : It's on his scalp right?

Don : You know? Mark sir must had forgotten to put it *quickly cups his mouth and looks at the confused audience*

 *Harmonium gasps while Hairy scratched his head*

[Backstage]

Mrs. Grosse : Where is that MORON? WHERE IS HE? MARKKK! I'll Kill you!! *Mark Asher hiding under the table*

[On the stage]

Don :  So, you can really do magicc with this harmonium?

Harmonium : Yes..I know the right spells *flutters her eyes*

Hiary : Example ?

Harmonium : Um hmm...You. Stand here in the center. Oculus Totalus *takes rounds around him but nothing happens* Urh *smiles sheepishly*

Don : Right spells han?

Harmonium : Yess. Lem'me show you now. Oculus Reparo.

*thin strand of Hairy's and Don's hair raised and then they are up in the air floating*

Harmonium : Damn *muttered and looked up at the boys screaming for help*

[Backstage]

Mrs. Grosse : Heart Attack *breathing heavily* Someone call the ambulance...pp-pplease...These morons just gave me a heart attack *curled up in a fetus position* 

Nakhrewaali : *comes running* Are you going to die? Please please please confirm. 

Mrs. Grosse : *sits straight* You want me to? 

Nakhrewaali : Who doesn't? *Stop when Mrs. Grosse glares* I mean who would want you? Shall I call an ambulance?

 Mrs. Grosse : Yes you fool. Go Away NOWWW!! *starts breathing unevenly again*

[On the stage]

Hermione : Alohomora...Urgh. No No. Umm.Pertificus Totalus...Oculus Reparo *Hairy and Dons thuds on the floor*

Hairy : My head. It's spinning.

Don : Au revoir friends.

Hermione : *bending down* So how was it? *giggling*

Hairy and Don : The real speelll!!

Hermione : Okay. Change into something. I'll be arriving soon. *goes out of the compartment*

*and the curtains are closed*

[Backstage]

Miss Stammerling : Awww...S-s-sush darling. You were gr-r-reat! It was A-a-wesome! *hugs her*

Mark : Oh my handsome boys *screams* you were breath-taking and splendid *grasps them and smacks kisses on their face*

Hairy : Where's Mrs. Grosse?

Nakhrewaali : *smiling sheepishly* She has been taken to the nearest hospital.

Sandy : What? *shocked*

Miss Stammerling : Y-y-yes...Due to a cardiac arrest. A-a-after watching your perf-f-fomance *winks*

 Mark : Come on. It's time we celebrate.

*Sandy, sush and zey glanced at each other before shrugging and following them*

Edited by -sevenstreaks- - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
I.n.t.r.o.d.u.c.i.n.g

.MissStubborn. as Zey/Hairy Puttar

SushK16 as Sush/Harmonium

-sevenstreaks- as Sandy/Don


Asherkibiwi as Mark Asher [Costume Designer]

ANGELICEYES as Angel Stammerling [Script Writer and Prompter]

CrazyKupKakes as Sannu Nakhrewali [Make-up Artist]

and

-Koeli_Appy- as Mrs. Appy Grosse [Director of the Play "3 IDIOTS"]

Edited by -sevenstreaks- - 6 years ago
Posted: 6 years ago
very funny!! LOved it!
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