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I think empathy or perceiving the worry of another has nothing to do with ones bank balance or string of degrees or exposure to the world. It is the effort of the reaching out that a person does...how willing they are to drop their guard and show the vulnerable self...In the case of Raman he is able to relate to the women as his relation with his Ma was deep and strong...she had been a woman of values and was deeply caring. The attraction to his II started at the physical and intellectual level in the beginning but with each update Nisha is laying the foundation fortheir deep understanding to cement the ties. With the strength of this he is able to notice the needs of others.
The Patriarch has experienced much and lost it all. The memory he carries will last a lifetime. Stemming from that he senses the needs f others and reaches out. Except Tan's mom, Sri Vishvanatha Iyer and his brother who is a foil to his character ...we find his action to all stemming from a deep mutual trust care and affection. The Gudiya is the apple of his eye now as in her he finds the unconditional love he is used to and the trust and respect he is accustomed to. He loves her chatter and the cameraderie iti is the basis of peace and happiness in MM. the need for affection is deep yet the love and affection of those around him has translated into trust and nurturing and valuing others.
Sri Vishvanatha Iyer is a man of principles andvalues. He is an apitome of doing things he feels is etically right. He has never shirked his responsibility to his loved ones and has recieved no kind words in return from his siblings. A brother who cannot voice his appreciation and a sister and brother who don't care.He takes it for granted that as his equal Amma has to shoulder her bit. He respects her but has never expressed it. He cares deeply for his daughters his world view is limited to think that needs can go beyond safety concerns.When II chooses to act per the dictates of her heart he is unable to accept or appreciate her decision and is juvenile in his treatment of the dude.He adores Bala as he acts the way he would in is situation.
Bala has beenexposed to the values of his parents who consider boys as great blessings and girls as burden. (As opposed to Ranjan who calls his Gudiya as Lakshmi and Saraswathi in one though his son sees the Durga avathatr as well).His view is coloured by the lens he is exposed to. Not having sisters himself or strong values and character in women he expects Vandhu to be in the same frame of mind.The exploitation is accepted as given and the inability to tell Vaishnavi toeven be watchful of what she uses but the way he barks ast II and yet uses her car and money as if it were his birthright...the way he responds after losing her key all stems from an entitlement attitude.
Bala and Chachu to some extent are similar as they cant and wont see beyond their needs.
Tanmay is different as his father seems to be a lot like the patriarch though his mom is like Chachi 420.His sisters are adorable too we read so obviously the influene of the mother has been minimal and he is fiercely protective of his loved ones and it is visible. Sam promises Amma that her kid brother would give II more happiness and care than what Tan gives her. Knowing her brother and husband's nature she predicts that. The way shedons the role of an older woman promising to ensure II continues her Iyer traditions, the pooja today prooves it. The way the dude wears a Veshti and sits by his II to perform the puja the way she would want is very touching.
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