SS 51 Baby Steps to work on 1 - Page 112

dristi64 @dristi64 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by SparkleV

Thanks for NICE update!
It was needed!
I watch 2 mins of YHM I swear 2 mins and such unbearable scene!
One thing i hate is that this show still affects me 😕

Y do u torture yourself??🤣

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Vibhuti @SparkleV IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by jyothi_cool

Amazing update nisha I loved the way ii asked r&b to buy her a new dress and for the spa voucher ..

I also loved the way she said she will never like any women in his life

DITTO
these 2 instances ❤️ shows they are moving in right direction!
I always wanted II to be demanding for gifts (costly or not doesn't matters)

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Kalpana
Very poignant note
While I sympathize with the young man unfortunately unable to "take his side"

I feel "paavam" for his parents. They in their wildest nightmare could not have imagined their son talking so harshly about their upbringing of him
How cruel
I am not saying like typical Desis we should keep everything bottled up and neither do I appreciate this disgusting "honesty"There will be NO human being on earth that will care for this young man AS MUCH as his parents, I am sorry, his wife wont either. I just shared a incident from my town

The parents did what THEY thought was good for him. They lived in TRICHY. Chances are they are not "uber cool" and greedy. I have plenty of relatives in Trichy. Its a simple life. Where there is no or little money parents hope education will fill the gap
I dont think they would ever have imagined it would traumatize the young man so deeply

Tomorrow if he breaks his back "trying to be cool hiking the Yosemite" see how they fly over and waste away by his hospital bed
Its very smug and self serving of him to dismiss their earnest prayers and wishes this way

I LOVE SUJATHA
HE WAS SO REAL

Nish

you can also look at it in a different perspective...do u think if the parents fell sick, then this guy wouldnt go ? He is not dismissing their love or earnest prayers...He still goes for 5 days...He just couldnt relate to their way of showing love...which in a middle class parents terms is a secure economic future...but unfortunately life isnt just that...I understand the place where they come from...Having suffered economically they wanted a different future for their children...but shoving something down the throat of ur children out of ur own fear/insecurity is plain wrong...

The guys answer is something like this...his parents always wanted only one thing---- for him to have a secure future...and he gave them that...now suddenlyhow can u ask for love when u failed to teach him the same when he was young ?

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Vibhuti @SparkleV IF-Rockerz

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by dristi64

Y do u torture yourself??🤣

I was having Dinner! (ya we eat 7.30)
One of the Crappy dinner now!

but it hurts yr...what they HV done!

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Errantnomad @Errantnomad IF-Dazzler Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by Nisha0604

Kalpana
Very poignant note
While I sympathize with the young man unfortunately unable to "take his side"

I feel "paavam" for his parents. They in their wildest nightmare could not have imagined their son talking so harshly about their upbringing of him
How cruel
I am not saying like typical Desis we should keep everything bottled up and neither do I appreciate this disgusting "honesty"There will be NO human being on earth that will care for this young man AS MUCH as his parents, I am sorry, his wife wont either. I just shared a incident from my town

The parents did what THEY thought was good for him. They lived in TRICHY. Chances are they are not "uber cool" and greedy. I have plenty of relatives in Trichy. Its a simple life. Where there is no or little money parents hope education will fill the gap
I dont think they would ever have imagined it would traumatize the young man so deeply

Tomorrow if he breaks his back "trying to be cool hiking the Yosemite" see how they fly over and waste away by his hospital bed
Its very smug and self serving of him to dismiss their earnest prayers and wishes this way

I LOVE SUJATHA
HE WAS SO REAL

Today morning, I felt a strange sense of loss after reading this.
Things got to a point where the parent had to write twice to Sujatha. Such a loss of connect
Second time around he had to call him again asking his son to call him for Deepavali.

One thought that arised in my mind is
Was he not able to make any friends and memories as such that connects him to his town.

But this is a learning that makes one reflect

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kalavathi5 @kalavathi5 Senior Member

Posted: 8 years ago

Nisha what a wonderful update!!! Loved II and Vandu together again!! II is such a sweet sister to offer to take care of Vaishnavi!!! 👏

R&B taking the effort to stay for dinner and generally being non confrontational - just goes to show how mature he is and how empathetic he is to his wife's desire to spend time with her parents!!

About the Trichy father and the son in America note---I would hate to think that any parent would be so goal oriented that a child felt his childhood was wasted and that he doesn't want to see his parents more than 5 days a year. In most Tam Brahm households-education takes up a very important place and I remember having to miss out on fun outings to the beach and movies etc. bec I had the SATs or AP exams or something going on with school. Sure there are times I feel bad about it, but I know at the same time, my folks did try to make things enjoyable as much as possible for me and the push they gave was for me to succeed. By my becoming something, they were not going to gain anything except pride that their daughter was successful. At least, this is how I feel about it now looking back. Maybe if you asked me this while I was younger, I would not be thinking this way. 😃

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Nisha0604 @Nisha0604 IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 8 years ago

Swathi

As a parent I can only hope when my kids look back on their childhood the focus on education and good grades doesnt epitomize their whole growing up years. There is more to parents love than their need for you to be academically accomplished.

While they could have "gone easy" a bit
I am hoping he would learn to look at the positive things too
He lives in a greedier more materialistic world now, its very easy to mock and ridicule his parents. I can bet my non existent fortune that where he is right now he will be ALL OVER his child/kids trying to make him the next Sundar Pichai.

Atleast his parents had a financial compulsion in Trichy
He cant even hide behind such "silly" rationalization

I would be curious to know if his parenting is all "bohemian" and if he is letting his kid drop out of school at 6th grade and encouraging him to serve burritos at Taco Bell because "its his heart's calling"

I DOUBT it
Edited by Nisha0604 - 8 years ago

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swathi1990 @swathi1990 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by Nisha0604

Swathi

As a parent I can only hope when my kids look back on their childhood the focus on education and good grades doesnt epitomize their whole growing up years. There is more to parents love their need for you to be academically accomplished.

While they could have "gone easy" a bit
I am hoping he would learn to look at the positive things too
He lives in a greedier more materialistic world now, its very easy to mock and ridicule his parents. I can bet my non existent fortune that where he is right now he will be ALL OVER his child/kids trying to make him the next Sundar Pichai.

Atleast his parents had a financial compulsion in Trichy
He cant even hide behind such "silly" rationalization

I would be curious to know if his parenting is all "bohemian" and if he is letting his kid drop out of school at 6th grade and encouraging him to serve burritos at Taco Bell because "its his heart's calling"

I DOUBT it

[bold] Nish I am asking for the same...go easy on ur kid...I am not saying that the parents should never admonish/guide their child...but life is not just about securing future...there is a level for everything...u will not want ur child to serve burritos...but I would like to belive that this generation has come forward to accept it when the child wants to become a chef...

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dristi64 @dristi64 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

NISHA

I believe you are being more empathetic towards the parents because you are one yourself. You are presuming that those instances of sacrifice existed because you would do all that as a parent. But when those parents were grooming their son, were they this unconditional?? They expected some form of comfort from him in their old age, too. And that is perfectly okay. And he seems to have lived up to that. Has he thrown them out on the streets or ill-treated them in any physical manner??

Our home is our first school and parents, the teacher. We learn by example. If we were not taught or shown how to love, we cannot automatically have those feelings for such people. The parents now seek that companionship which they failed to give the son. He probably sympathizes with them and does have gratitude and respect. But where does he create that love from, in such a late stage?? It doesn't come easy.

I really don't know if there can be a middle ground here if the father doesn't even understand or refuse to understand what his son wrote in that first email. Its again a case of the younger ones putting aside their issues and pacifying the older ones who refuse to believe in something different than what they have lived with.

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Sonal Gupta @sonalgupta2004 IF-Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

Hey everyone, as the discussion going our is
Till now a bit of conservative thinking or should I say
Upbringing is like that ki u hav to make ur marriage work for one or the
Other reason be it children or family of ur or your on laws.
I don't know but I think at a point some sort of boundation
Is necessary in every relation to make it work.
And if it is betterment of the relation and society I don't think
Any harm in it!

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SS 51 Baby Steps to work on 1 - Page 112

dristi64 @dristi64 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

Vibhuti @SparkleV IF-Rockerz

Posted: 8 years ago

swathi1990 @swathi1990 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

Vibhuti @SparkleV IF-Rockerz

Posted: 8 years ago

Errantnomad @Errantnomad IF-Dazzler Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

kalavathi5 @kalavathi5 Senior Member

Posted: 8 years ago

Nisha0604 @Nisha0604 IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 8 years ago

swathi1990 @swathi1990 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

dristi64 @dristi64 Goldie

Posted: 8 years ago

Sonal Gupta @sonalgupta2004 IF-Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

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