SS 51 Baby Steps to work on 1 - Page 111

Posted: 8 years ago
Kalpana

An eye opening for middle class parents n kids...
Thanks for sharing this...
Posted: 8 years ago
Kalpana
Very poignant note
While I sympathize with the young man unfortunately unable to "take his side"

I feel "paavam" for his parents. They in their wildest nightmare could not have imagined their son talking so harshly about their upbringing of him
How cruel
I am not saying like typical Desis we should keep everything bottled up and neither do I appreciate this disgusting "honesty"There will be NO human being on earth that will care for this young man AS MUCH as his parents, I am sorry, his wife wont either. I just shared a incident from my town

The parents did what THEY thought was good for him. They lived in TRICHY. Chances are they are not "uber cool" and greedy. I have plenty of relatives in Trichy. Its a simple life. Where there is no or little money parents hope education will fill the gap
I dont think they would ever have imagined it would traumatize the young man so deeply

Tomorrow if he breaks his back "trying to be cool hiking the Yosemite" see how they fly over and waste away by his hospital bed
Its very smug and self serving of him to dismiss their earnest prayers and wishes this way

I LOVE SUJATHA
HE WAS SO REAL
Posted: 8 years ago
Swathi
Everything that you are saying is what our generation speaks about all the time. Some of the elders who assume the role of 'guardians of tradition' only conform to their beliefs. They never even wish to entertain the idea that there may be another way of doing something. 

Although nuclear families have their own disadvantages, a joint family in India is not an easy place to live, especially if one has a desire to form an individual identity. I cannot generalize them as all, but I've experienced and seen most of them to be such.
Edited by dristi64 - 8 years ago
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by Nisha0604


Swathi,
Yes I agree, over dinner last night I was told about a Desi friend thats divorcing her hubby, they have a 1 year old baby girl I think
Both are greatly accomplished, Material Science Ph Ds, IN THEIR 30s
University romance I believe not sure, it happened in the East Coast

He lost his job when I company restructured  August, 2 years ago, SHE KEPT HER JOB ALSO at my company  .
My friend said "Maybe parents gave some  "parental advice" and said "Oh! why dont u get pregnant, sex makes everything better"

She did, he still didnt have a job

Eventually when the baby was born last August he got a job in Tennessee I think and moved. She moved back and forth between my city and his
And this week he is in town to sign "papers"

We can easily slam goras sayinbng "They dont respect marriage" blah blah blah
Given the SAME opportunities and situations WE DO THE EXACT same thing

We are equally intolerant
We have the same amount of ego
We dont respect marriage either
Our careers are supremely important
Job loss DOES take a toll, for a man
If she had lost her job and he had kept his
I DONT think they would have divorced

So true Nisha.
Hello btw.
I am a Gujju Indian and my husband is a full blooded Caucasian.
We have been married for 5 yrs now, going towards our 6th wedding anniversary. 
Marriages are based on love, trust and companionship for me regardless of the skin color, nationality or religion.
You would want to make it work. Can't help but compare, my husband and his family treats me like me and not some money making machine I was treated in my previous MARRIGE to an indian. Everybody has their own experiences, good or bad. But I tell you mine was not pleasant 7 yrs ago. 


Posted: 8 years ago
Thanks for NICE update!
It was needed!
I watch 2 mins of YHM I swear 2 mins and such unbearable scene!
One thing i hate is that this show still affects me 😕
Posted: 8 years ago
Kalpana

He could have CHOSEN to remember incidents about how his Dad walked miles to buy him something he wanted, how  Amma and him got cheap clothes for Deepavali and how this young man got expensive jeans or something (in Trichy I bet it was expensive)
How many times his Appa borrowed money on the 28th of the month from his coworkers so he could pay lab fees

How his parents gave up using the ceiling fan so he could study with the fan on for his board exams
PARENTS MAKE INCREDIBLE SACRIFICES

There is no greater punishment than suddenly becoming irrelevant and unimportant in your own child's life

Posted: 8 years ago
Amazing update nisha I loved the way ii asked r&b to buy her a new dress and for the spa voucher .. 

I also loved the way she said she will never like any women in his life 
Posted: 8 years ago
Already Serious Discussion On??!!!???!!
and am crying about a stupid Show!

Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by monalisa123


So true Nisha.
Hello btw.
I am a Gujju Indian and my husband is a full blooded Caucasian.
We have been married for 5 yrs now, going towards our 6th wedding anniversary. 
Marriages are based on love, trust and companionship for me regardless of the skin color, nationality or religion.
You would want to make it work. Can't help but compare, my husband and his family treats me like me and not some money making machine I was treated in my previous MARRIGE to an indian. Everybody has their own experiences, good or bad. But I tell you mine was not pleasant 7 yrs ago. 




Thanks for the honesty and sharing your thoughts Monalisa, I miss your hand holding picture, you and your husband? I suspected he was Caucasian😃
As I grow older I am hopefully becoming wiser too, and trying to shed some of my prejudices
Its hard... but I hope it happens😭
Posted: 8 years ago
OMG Nisha, you can't imagine what's happening here. Marriage, commitment, relationships are words only to be used but not understood. very few young couples  who  get hooked even understand or realize what they are getting into. Marriage as an institution has been devalued so much over the years. Young people these days  are doing unbelievable things with it. Some marry to come here, some do it because their parents will not tolerate  girls meeting their boyfriends, some simply because there is lack of EXCITEMENT in their lives! All the spending, the splashing of money, the families making a big show. And within just a few months these families are in the courtroom making a tamasha of their lives. 
The NGO I work for runs classes called parenting after separation, it's mandated by the court system that every couple who has kids and are separating has to go through these classes. 
The stories I hear has driven me to tears multiple times. There is so much bitterness, so much angst and so  incredulous are their stories that I wonder if they even know what they are doing? 
And in the ,idle,of allot,his are these innocent children because their selfish parents have brought them into this world and now don't know what to do with them. It's so so SAD.


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