Can you love me 'again' ? *DND*

there does exist a thing called 'l o v e' ?

PCK. Writing the whole introduction again, Not what i wished for.

S N O B. That's what people think I'M. And yeah somewhat I too believe that's what my personality has become. 

When you overcome such people who once call you friends and after a few days you realize "oh no. he/she has better priorities than me." That's my forever phase. People are forever a lesson for me. Even you. Even the person I love. 

This piece which I am writing solely belong to me. Those are my thoughts. And first person narration (with no names - i wont really like to lay down any names). I inspire nobody. But english books most definitely do to me. Yup I'M a bookish keeda. Always hungry for romance. Cause you always wish for what you can't have. 

But yet I'M keeping it -NO COMMENTS-. Reasons :
- I dont want to do any PMs and even suggest you to stay away :s

- i want to keep my work. my thoughts at a place

- I will do it as per my preference. Cause they are my thoughts. So they can come anytime like 10pm 3am or maybe 7pm. ANYTIME like i said!

yada. yada. yada. 

September 5th 2015

10pm [Destroyed]

The moment of realization holds me off-guard. She doesn't need me anymore. I seriously can't understand her. What does she wants from me ? For once had I thought she needed me. The very next moment she made me realize no one for once needed me. NO ONE. EVER. I was a fool to think she would care about me, about my feelings or in the least need me.

Want to see a person destroyed in love. WATCH ME. Falling Apart.

My past. Her Past. Our Past.

2013 to be precised

7pm [Egoist Jerk]

It was a long day. Full of work & people. I got to meet & greet few new people. They were nice to me.

Yup I am moving on in life without her. She's a history now. History in my diary.

I still remember the day when she first showed up on my face. She needed help and like an idiot I left her on bay. Alone. Idiot I know you would call me.

Then after a half year or so we met again at work. She was still good to me. I wonder why? How can a person be nice to me after the treatment I gave to her? But again like an egoist idiot I gave her no heed. I sort of disliked her for taking away my task.

As admitted I was an idiot later that I realised she was always helpful. ALWAYS.

Originally posted by: HateSober

10th Feb 2020

S C R E W E D

Ughhhh! They're back. The T H O U G H T S and the very P E R S O N I don't want to talk about 😂

It's been 4.5 freaking years. You might think everything is going well. Or at least that's what I thought. I MOVED ON. YASSSS!

But man how wrong I was. After what feels like a lifetime I met her again. At work. She's B A C K 😕 Boy that smile of mine went from shock to angry in a fraction of a second (though my insides are in full P A R T Y mood). It's like time stood still between us as we stood there staring at each other (can't tell if she wants to slap me or kiss me but the latter will be much appreciated). It's hard as a duck (damn auto-correct) to not a d o r e her. Ye pehle bhi itni hi khoobsoorat thi ya... waqt ne kiya koi haseen sitam? (you see what I did there 😉) 

I'm dying to ask her if..

*B A M* Call of the devil (but I didn't call him 😐). My CEO. He had to interrupt my very good thoughts (he's an a** I tell you). He informs she's the new team lead (WHAT IN THE HEAVEN??!!). Not A G A I N. Duck good thoughts I'm furious now. ENRAGED.

She's back to steal what's M I N E (oh my h e a r t be still it's not you this time). 

She's again going to R U L E my world.

It'll be fun to watch me resist myself from MAUL-ing her.  

And there's that S M I R K... I'm S C R E W E D...

March 6th, 5:50PM

[N-th Day of Working Together]

You know what they say about dogs tail? Yeah the one and only. The same applies to us. Me and mi lady are like that dog's tail *sigh* back to being  t w i s t e d.

It's like we love this cat dog game of ours (too much mention of dogs? FB Instagram is filled with cats, pigs & dogs these days *bow chicka wow wow*)

So where was I? Yeah so she gets to be the team lead and me being her junior. Hell-o! Seriously. She enjoys tormenting me. Rejecting my ideas(not literally) and encouraging the ideas of my stupid colleagues. Oh by the way I saw some tails wagging, drool dripping whenever she conducts meetings (mind you it's not me). 

And the team? It's awestruck with her *sigh* even I was too (once upon a time). Now? I kind of hate her (mind you hate is too strong word to use for anyone). For ruining my present for stealing what was mine(my job & my heart *damn you - always making it about yourself*). For once I feel like quitting.

But I'm not a quitter. I'll fight back. 

*rolls up my invisible sleeves*

She thinks she's winning (I wish she gets all the happiness in the world but at what cost?). She thinks this team is her f a m i l y. 

You might've heard that saying: wolf in the sheep's clothing. 

Only time will tell who's the friend and who's the foe... Who hugs to actually mean it & who hugs to stab in the back...


And when that time comes I'll be there to pick the pieces like I always do. But this time I won't stick around to help her get out of it (once burned twice shy).

" D o   Y o u   E v e r ? "

"Do you ever L O V E someone so much that it hurts to even look at them with a thought what will happen if something happened to them or they left you?"

Yeah I loved him. For whatever time a year or so we spent together I loved every bit of him whether it was his nosiness or moodiness or alpha-ness when I spoke to someone else.

3 years ago we parted ways. Reason was our lack of communication and when my life was crumbling I needed his support all he had said was "I can't be with Y O U all the time, you need to grow up and learn to tackle your problems" and that was day I felt I mean so less to him. That stings.

But there’s something I also learnt in those 3 years.

1. You’re your own person. If you can’t enjoy your company how do you expect others to do so? Best thing about this? You won’t need anyone’s company to soothe your pain or feelings. I've learnt my lessons the hard way.

2. There’s also a life outside of love and relationships. I've made a sweet friend. His name is JD (I might have had a crush on him but at the end he’s not my type) so we decided to stick to just being BFFs. So now he tells me all his gossips and I just laugh at his stupidity. He's the drama-queen in our friendship.

3. I got my first job. I compromised with my pay. My manager was clever. I was called as a girl who can’t be anyone’s F A V O R I T E. That last comment. That’s stuck with me.

That day and today when I'm standing in front of my P A S T. 

HIM. 

It hurts even to look at him when I see the anger and hurt in his expressions. Like I betrayed him. I didn’t wanted to take over his project or become his boss. But I’d to prove someone. 

So here I’m. 

and

Game’s on.