SS 43 - Page 22

POOL OF AMBROSIAL NECTAR

My heart it sings a million tunes and forgets the purpose it exists

His protective grip over my wrist loosens and looking up i see his eyes

The look in them novel pain or peace I fail to read

A memory of a day from his life skipping holding Ma is my guess

I soak in the serenity my heart at peace in the glowing dome I gaze at

I tread softly beside him a journey spanning his past and our future

A prayer on my lip for the family I chose

A glimpse of the pain untold, of moments revisited in memory alone

The lost 4 plus years the bottled grief uncorked

A magic will re emerge in a form that reflects the past and future

A proof of divine sanction to a lifetime of togetherness

My wishes stamped with the marks from above

The plea I carry for the bearer of the cross

My anchor of support the benevolent giver I have seen

His pain that can never be mitigated a loss that can never be compensated

I resolve to shed the block that obstructs his solace

The princess he craves to adorn in paatupaavadai of every hue

This i can grant the rest divine intervention i seek

Grant us peace grant us love grant us understanding

Grant us care grant us health to share the wealth

To do unto others what good possible by humans

This I beseech from the pool of ambrosial nectar and her

That anchored and held the two most important men

She the past,  I in the present ours in the future will find solace in.

 

 

11 a.m  raga

6th August 2015

Nishaji, suntin hain aap. Kahan hain aaj? Ek jhalak dikha kar kaha Ghum ho gayin, Bari besabri se appka intezaar kar rahe hain. II aur RB ki daastaan mein aage kya hua. 

Cologne & Cantaloupe

Ofcourse he wasnt going to stay there after hearing her say that. He was gone when she woke up Friday morning.
With a headache, she had never had three vodkas ina row and no dinner before, she couldnt decide what hurt her more, his being compassionate about her
career and work life or his lack of care towards their marriage and time together
She ate toast and had watery chai in her room

"Kitchenette is a waste, I dont eat here anyway, the company will only pay for a Standard room,
I have a suite with a living and kitchenette, like I am some Katrina Kaif." She didnt know how much she owed at Chandigarh for the suite, and now two weeks at Amritsar?

"I have to check my Citibank online statement tonight. I dont have tickets for myself for tonight, I need to get something online for midnight flight"

YA II THEY PROBABLY HAVE ONE AT MIDNIGHT, 1 AM AND 2 AM
SO RITU'S DIRECT REPORT CAN GO SEE HER FAMILY

There was dark circles under her eyes
She wore offwhite kurta with a polka dotted chudidar with no dupatta... it was some designer stuff
It was hand embroidered all over, the kurta was, in a yarn the same color  as the kurta, dense and pretty

She wore a BIG bindi and left it on... pulled her mangal sootra haldi cord out and examined it, it was still sparkly and shining
Akka's was kinda dull, Amma's was a lil smooth around the corners, the lil gaps rounded, with daily showers


She tucked it back in and stared at her reflection, her head pounding like leather being hit on at a tannery

She popped something for the head ache
Got to work at 8... the Lobby Mgr handed her an envelope

She opened it to find an open reservation back to Delhi

Rakshasan had left it at the front desk... a printed copy
Like he didnt know her email..
She tucked it inot her purse carefully

And sat down in the car.. staring out

No hugging, kissing this morning

She went to her phone, Amma's text with baldie's picture
She had asked for Periappa's yesterday there were two pics of balsie and periappa in the same shot,
Akka holding the lil worm, sitting by Periappa, as he waved and gesticulated, drooling

II smiled, the look the drool all familiar to her
She missed Lasya...
She went to texts with Sam... and looked at Lasya's pictures


"Are u at work Dad?" she asked, calling him

"No puttar jee reading ET (Econ Times) on the front patio" he smiled

"Lene aayenge mujhe?" she asked softly

"Arey, kya baat poochi.. kyon nahi aayenge jee? Jaroor..."


"i dont know what time yet"


"Text me beta" he smiled

"How is everything?" she asked pensively


"Its not a movie, it might take weeks? Months?" he said sighing


"Aap please guard ko lekar jaayen" she begged

"Delhi Police ki poori fauj mangwa loonga beta" he promised

She giggled... hanging up

And then there was text from dude

"On my way to the airport" he had said at 5:08 AM

"U couldnt find one last night?" she texted pissed

"The ones to FR/Cologne were only this morning" his text arrived an hour after she texted him... at 9:18 AM

bas***d!!!
SO HE WENT BACK HOME TO PARIS???
OFCOURSE!! WHY DOES HE CARE
ITS NOT LIKE HE OWES ME AN ANSWER
OR AN EXPLANATION
I AM JUST THE WIFE

 THE WIFE HE MARRIED WHEN THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE TO... UMM...
She was teary eyed, she went and shut herself in the bathroom for 20 mins

Had two cups of coffed and ploughed through the day...eating  some really good but terribly spicy karhai paneer from a nearby restaurant at lunch
Eating two bowls of raita...
The married dude was at his unproductive best

"Why do I care" "when Ashwini returns, he is all hers" she chuckled self deprecatingly

The install was "complete"

Sat and Sunday they were going to run legacy systems... so whether it works or fails "globally" will be known only Monday onwards

"Phew!!!" she said to herself

When they were all done at 8 PM
She didnt let Ritu know or call her

"Romba talela tookindu aadina, timir jaasti aayidum" (Zyaada sar par nahi bithaoongi usko)

She went to her "system log page"  she had worked almost 60 hours this week

I HAVE TO TAKE MONDAY OFF
I DONT CARE


She went online at lunch and booked herself the last flight out of Amritsar
She went back to the hotel and and half way through realized she was coming back and so she didnt need to pack

She asked the driver to take her to the airport instead

GOOD I AM NOT DRIVING
I WOULD HAVE WRECKED THE CAR OTHERWISE
PAATHU OTTU KANNA
CONCENTRATE PANNU KANNA
DONT LET UR MIND STRAY KANNA

(Drive carefully)
Appa's words rang in her ears

She missed Appa tonight

She texted him

"Epdi irukel?" (How are u pa?)

"Epdi irupen? U have not called or texted in a week"

"I am sorry"

"U have hurt Vandita deeply" Appa scolded

"I am sorry... I am coming tomorrow" she texted


"Ur husband doesnt talk... and u dont stay in touch with family

Appa found a way to connect everything to Rakshasan

I LOVE YOU PA
KEEP AT IT
I AGREE
ITS ALL HIS FAULT

"I am sorry pa" she texted

"Are u in MM?" he asked

"Will be at midnight" she said

Appa didnt respond

He must have sighed and ranted and fumed about how is kozhandai's life was so scattered


"U are not serious about your life Ishita" he said

"I KNOW pa" Ii said tears filling up her eyes at that caring admonishment


Ranjan was overjoyed to see her, he had actually brought a guard
She was relieved

A half asleep news guy from an unknown News Only networks woke up when someone nudged him the cameras trailed Ranjan and II

All new to II...


They got home... he told her about Lasya, about seeing baldie Thursday night...
About Manya's "new friend"  Makarand Rao

He seemed calm and collected... not stressed and agitated as she had pictured him all week

She would later wonder while in bed why he didnt ask about Rakshasan

"MAYBE HE KNOWS DUDE HAS RETURNED TO COLOGNE?"
She lay down in her fave sun room bed... not even checking the master bedroom
with the curtains pulled apart

Began to sleep immediately, changed into a old pink khadi kurta and a jaipuri salwar her huge oval purple bindi matching her night clothes
 ... didnt eat..


THATS RIGHT BE DRESSED FOR SLEEP II
DREAM LA IF U GET TO MEET SRK U NEED TO LOOK PRETTY
SHE SMILED TIRED

She was not afraid or worried when she was in this house

It felt like being in D II

Manya, Ranjan and the help were all around

She didnt tell the dude when she left AMRTSR and when she reached delhi

She woke at 10 on Saturday wandered her veggie patch, drinking filter coffee, wandering back to the back patio

She saw movement in the kitchen

Mahavir was serving dude breakafast with a lot of love and affection, placing a  halved cantaloupe filled with berries

bas***d!! she hissed

He looked up from his plate chewing... as her heart rate soared, and her steel coffee tumbler slipped from her lifeless fingers, clattering on the fine stone patio
floor
He checked her out slowly devouring blue berries stuck on the edge of his fork


Edited by Nisha0604 - 8 years ago

Thank you Nisha for the morning Raga. My day now will be fulfilling:)

i was complaining the whole time during reading this "why he went paris nishaaa??"
i didnt noticed appa ranjan and all others who came today...

but the last part!!!!OMG!!!i dnt know yaar what this man is doing with my paavam heart!!!!
breath in...breath out...

Of course, he would not let her off so easily, would he? II, in her emotional vulnerability, is drawing on the most warm person of the lot? Ranjan. An interesting equation. She seems to demand more from Ranjan and is more wary of the dude ironically.

II, what an emotional, sensitive mess you are.

Just knew banda Paris to waapis nahi jayega...aise kaise chala jayega bina II ko bataye...;)
Loved the ranjan II scene...love how she is so open to him and claims things from him...

And finally II realises she's not serious about her life...ummm let's see what's in store Edited by dsgirl - 8 years ago

❤️ that last scene!!!!
how will II react????

i was wondering why u added ofcourse at first!!!!

and my ray of hope was 'she didnt checkd master bedroom'.

gosh!!!i should stop grinning!!!!

Oh thank God! The Dude is at MM. My insides plummeted thinking he actually left for Paris. That would be II's impulsiveness not his composed self.