Originally posted by Nisha0604
I am unable to come out of my grief. I dont know what I should do in order to shake myself out
I am constantly thinking about whatever she said to me or whatever she wrote on these pages. I am unable to comprehend what her room and her things must look like today. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HER well enough. She wrote 5 mails maybe? And when she was engaged she sent a picture over PM
that is all... I didnt Whatsapp with her or call her or email her.
I was overjoyed to see her on these pages... but what I have discovered through these pages is sending me down a spiral
I am not sure why I am so distraught... I dont know of anybody that died 9 days after detection of cancer, especially in America. I DONT.
I am cursing the Docs that reviewed her pneumonia reports back in Feb? March?
I am lamenting about the lil things that went unnoticed about her health the last three months
In her email from June 28th Sunday she wrote "All my favorite food is spread before me on the dining table, I am unable to eat or taste anything. Every weekend, when I came home, my Mom would oil my hair, massage my scalp and braid my hair as I readied to eat, every Sunday, today she asks my Dad "should she just get a hair cut and a wig?"
The sheer horror and cruelty of it all is hard to ignore
She went on to say " Since Wed when I got the report, every breath I take I wonder HOW MANY I HAVE LEFT and if I should use the rest prudently"
She went BY HERSELF to collect her report, and read through it and lived with the news for a day
I am unable to get over this.
I dont know what I should do...
She is TWENTY FOUR.
nisha we are unable to get over it too da ..none of us are.. digest agurthey ellai..
we are changed for life ..i keep coming to this thread and venting go back and read her comments ,cry then try to work ,
i called up shev and felt better ,if you come here u will feel better to know there are 50 other people like you here we are with your i know for all the virtual readers she had /friends she made ,u where her greatest friend philosopher ,so if i am hurt this much i can only imagine ur state..
I dont know if you read our comments anymore but thanks to u i got to know such a person can exist..
24 is cruel ..
dont shut down ..
ayoo 24 hours alone with a report
now i am crying again
Edited by TanjoreGirl - 6 years ago