Software Symphony 30 A sorrow I nurtured on 127 - Page 26

Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by swathi1990



See that is exactly what I am saying...Ritu's intention was never to rock II's boat...nor the other ladies's u described here...The problem is within II ----- she is jealous...She is rocking her own boat...She wants both family fun and very fast career growth which requires extra time and effort...which she also stopped putting after she got married...that is also an itch...she already thinks that marriage/kids stop women...to an extent yes because priorities change...responsibilities happen...

The thing is ur life has ur own priorities...If u have family as a priority u slack in another...For ritu it is a different case...II has to accept that...The problem is within II...not in Ritu... 
Swathi, the only problem I have always felt and experienced is woman boss always try to put u down, they become catty. Maybe it's our woman trait. We judge others. I was applying for a maternity leave first time, I had a guy boss. He was like take u'r time and what works best for your family. Second time I had a woman boss, she told I came to work in 4 weeks, how come u are thinking of 3 months? I was taken aback but kept my cool and said wow good for u Lisa. I want to be be with the baby and enjoy my other kid too in my time off. If it's a concern, we can discuss it with HR for my backup. Then she was taken aback that a mere AVP  could back chat. That's where the problem stems, women pull women down in the corporate world as well in real world. 
II wants both, who doesn't want both in life. Ritu could have sent an email but calling at 9.00 PM on Friday is not acceptable or useless things were being discussed in morning. Boss irrespective of woman or man should not push the envelope just for their own convenience. 

Posted: 8 years ago
Vibhu how was it???
Meeting everybody in Bangalore is a dam cool idea

Hi jyo 
Hi anu
Posted: 8 years ago
Nammu lets do the meeting when I come there for a holiday 
Posted: 8 years ago
Swathi

I am sorry but I disagree, Ritu could stay up 24*7 a week in a row, a month in a row, but CALLING the direct report at home AFTER OFFICE HOURS clearly violates II's privacy and time with family

Thats unacceptable

I am ALL for male or female leaders to give up on their non-existent personal life

Once it starts impeding on the TEAM'S personal life its no longer about them and their "ambition, drive, aggressiveness, hard wordk, dedication" and other such flowery words

She could have sent II an email and asked her to leav it at her desk going forward, or leave the keys at her desk

Its not life saving brain surgery, Ritu does for a living. AND she is responsible for 100 things other than reviewing daily transaction reports

She could have saved her false sense of urgency until Monday

Much of what many leaders do across Corporate America is to "project". The show of symbolism goes a long way in cleaning up the ladder rung above, making it easier for u to climb it


After 9 PM Friday evening is II's private time with her family

Ritu had absolutely NO business destroying it
I know IT industry has gutted work life balance in the last 20 years, ridiculing every definition of rest and relaxation

But because IT/IS industry has pioneered such a oppressive movement, does not make it fair and justified for the Indian or American worker
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by TanjoreGirl


wonderful comments by all..
totally lets give Ritu the benefit of doubt..
@Shev Haas School in berkley awesome...
@vani so cute kannadiga is not a big difference i thought a punjabi given you have an older son in those days it would have been something πŸ˜‰
I cant wait for my kids to marry anyone outside the iyer clan, i want a punjabi boy for my daughter in a horse like so bad i think she may put the mala on the horse instead πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
and please tell us  about ur son's wedding u know right iyer boy marrying an iyengar girl is like shiva marrying parvati so perfect 😳 and i can imagine the fun there cause right from tying the saree to calling rasam sathumadu things are different so must have been like II & R&B shaadi what funnn!!!!!

BTW my inlaws live in bangalore too.. so whenever i come would love to meet you guys..



Now do let us know when you are here next, and we shall plan a SOSY gathering...I shall co-ordinate  πŸ˜Š
Love everything about your daughter and your comment takes the cake !!!

Anu...My DIL's mum is a Christian so there is no Iyengar podavai or sathumadu or Perumal  πŸ˜†πŸ˜†  There is Tamil though !!!
They got married two years back, Indian style, in a Japanese garden, conducted by a Gujerati priest  and attended predominantly by Americans.
I added the south Indian touch by singing Mangalam, putting kolusu and toe rings and also had oonjal songs😊  oneof my DIL's friends sings very well. her husband is Gus but calls himself Gopal...
Guess all of you have fallen off your chairs by now ??! πŸ˜ƒ


Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by jyothi_cool


Nammu lets do the meeting when I come there for a holiday 
sure thing!!
Hi shev hi nisha πŸ˜‰
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by Hsp.canada


Swathi, the only problem I have always felt and experienced is woman boss always try to put u down, they become catty. Maybe it's our woman trait. We judge others. I was applying for a maternity leave first time, I had a guy boss. He was like take u'r time and what works best for your family. Second time I had a woman boss, she told I came to work in 4 weeks, how come u are thinking of 3 months? I was taken aback but kept my cool and said wow good for u Lisa. I want to be be with the baby and enjoy my other kid too in my time off. If it's a concern, we can discuss it with HR for my backup. Then she was taken aback that a mere AVP  could back chat. That's where the problem stems, women pull women down in the corporate world as well in real world. 
II wants both, who doesn't want both in life. Ritu could have sent an email but calling at 9.00 PM on Friday is not acceptable or useless things were being discussed in morning. Boss irrespective of woman or man should not push the envelope just for their own convenience. 


There is a difference in ur case and wat happend here re...ur boss expected u to work...whereas Ritu here didnt ask II to work...She just called and wanted to know where a file was...She just asked 2 mins of ur time...is that a big mistake ???? If bally had called u wudnt react like this...even II wouldnt...and dont pull the friend card...urs and many others reaction appears because of II's jealousy...That is exactly wat this is...A part of II wanted to be Ritu, even though she enjoys all this family time...II has always been considered as superior among her family...always the reason for her over confidence...the same made her under-estimate R&B in the beginning...but slowly she sees people who are more successful than her which she wanted for herself...the first thought if I were II becos I am as ambitious as her would be..."nowadays I dont get as much time to concentrate on my career as I did initially...so marriage is definitely hurting my career..."
Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by TanjoreGirl


wonderful comments by all..
totally lets give Ritu the benefit of doubt..
@Shev Haas School in berkley awesome...
@vani so cute kannadiga is not a big difference i thought a punjabi given you have an older son in those days it would have been something πŸ˜‰
I cant wait for my kids to marry anyone outside the iyer clan, i want a punjabi boy for my daughter in a horse like so bad i think she may put the mala on the horse instead πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
and please tell us  about ur son's wedding u know right iyer boy marrying an iyengar girl is like shiva marrying parvati so perfect 😳 and i can imagine the fun there cause right from tying the saree to calling rasam sathumadu things are different so must have been like II & R&B shaadi what funnn!!!!!

BTW my inlaws live in bangalore too.. so whenever i come would love to meet you guys..




She is my friends little sister, they r just 1 year apart. Karen can work 23 hours non stop. She is super smart, my friend is worried for as Chienese men or families are just like us Indian, she is no longer considered a good match as she is old at 35 at marry. Her folks are conservative they can't accept a America dude. So dating is very tough for her, even America Chinese man are just like our dudes can't take it she is in power and old πŸ˜• Karen is fine she talks about adopting a baby if this dating thing doesn't work out for her or maybe her parents will relent over time and let her chose an American guy.
Posted: 8 years ago
Leadership is as much about vision courage intuition, intellect, as much as it is about "projection"

Calling direct report after office hours
Walking the hallways talking on the phone using words like strategy, paradigm shift, and tactics
PEEING and talking on the phone
Turning even social lunch or dinner conversations into resolving a fabricated work crisis
Giving extra long updates about business trips and hotels and rental cars
Talking extended periods of time about how a person missed their son or daughter's basket ball game or soccer game
Changing Outlook setting ONLY to send emails between Midnight and 3 AM
Saying how much u hate meetings, but setting one up impudently for everything

A picture was recently doing the rounds about how acollege in Bihar is struggling to deal with cheats, on exam days, and how good scores matter for jobs in India. A shameful visual of test taking in India. Lets admit we are a massive country of 1.4 billion people fighting for 1 million jobs, survival of the fittest has to happen

At the same time, the games people play in the corporate world is nothing less. Atleast the kid in Bihar is probably the only one that will be employed in a family of 15 or 20 and must live in utter poverty

The corporate one upmanship games have no such compulsions yet are more  underhand, immensely more dirty and border on misconduct and misrepresentation of facts


Posted: 8 years ago
Originally posted by VeeIyer



Now do let us know when you are here next, and we shall plan a SOSY gathering...I shall co-ordinate  πŸ˜Š
Love everything about your daughter and your comment takes the cake !!!

Anu...My DIL's mum is a Christian so there is no Iyengar podavai or sathumadu or Perumal  πŸ˜†πŸ˜†  There is Tamil though !!!
They got married two years back, Indian style, in a Japanese garden, conducted by a Gujerati priest  and attended predominantly by Americans.
I added the south Indian touch by singing Mangalam, putting kolusu and toe rings and also had oonjal songs😊  oneof my DIL's friends sings very well. her husband is Gus but calls himself Gopal...
Guess all of you have fallen off your chairs by now ??! πŸ˜ƒ


the marriage seemed like a mini India...wow a mix of so many varried cultures... Must have been so interesting!!

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