Originally posted by Nisha0604
Hershey
I found your post, yes I read it too, I wouldnt be so harsh on II. But feel free to be if you like I like it if readers hate the characters or their behavior instead of hating MEπ
You cannot expect her to jump in and start spending his money, I might not be able to put it well like some of you girls do, but, because he is wealthy how you can you expect II to fawn and swoon and immediately accept everything with open arms?
That would be too artificial. Sorry!! Happens only in movies. The female lead is dirt poor the day after the marriage she is wearing enough jewelry to put Aishwarya's Kalyan Jewelers I LOVE racism and SLAVERY ad to shame. π
Why should she allow R&B to transfer money? Why cant II's stance be considered "modern and liberal"? Pre marital sex is not modern or liberal for Iyers, but THIS could be right? Why should we slot II within the box of what WE consider modern liberal and progressive?
WHAT is wrong for a grown educated, successful woman NOT to want her husband's money?
Does that make her LESS invested in a marriage? That is plain wrong and I totally disagree. Spending husband's money makes her appear "in love" and "faithful" and "emotionally invested"
WHY?
My problem is not with II NOT wanting R&B's money but about her keeping R&B out of her problems... II knew she was running low on funds... She KNEW R&B would kill her if he comes to know she has NO money... She knows he wouldnt object to her spending on her family, but he would deffo be angry about her irrational spendings! And MOSTLY. About her behaving stupid on saturday when R&B saw her being different in her treatment of nandu and shravu... It was a simple case of R&B asking why she wouldnt scold both equally, until then she didnt know that R&B knew about her being a broke... She could have corrected her stance... No i wasnt expecting her to scold nandu... But I expected her to somehow cajole both kids in the same fashion and not have a tiff with R&B ki dekho I'll do it... Jo karna hai kar lo!!
And then her stupid barbs!!! She knew Raman would strangle her for being soo irresponsible... But II madam toh Raman par hi chadh gayi...yes I agree R&B did wrong... Should have directly transferred the money... But he went through Ved... But II always expected this...didnt she?!? Toh why use stupid barbs... Wouldnt Appa have done a similar thing? Appa would have butchered her...so would Amma and so would Vandu! So if R& B is the next closest kin in her life ...why wouldnt he? Infact usne toh usko daanta bhi nahi...vandu,appa,amma toh pehle uske chote chote tukde karke tommy ko khilatey fir paise bhi daalte account mei..R&B ne toh ahinsaavadi banke paise Ved se dalwaye!π
Anyway, why I said that II was behaving like she was in live-in was... She is living like she is in a PG, kapde uske hain, khana wo kha leti hai... Badle mei she cooks...reason to stay there is R&B. I didnt say the live-in part because of not taking R&B's money... My main concern was II not discussing her life and thoughts AT ALL with R&B... There is a difference between always analyzing Vs not talking! I had this issue even when they had fought before marriage about R&B's paris plans! That time too I had said why would R&B not tell her ki he plans to return back to paris for good in next 5 months... Its not a short trip ...its a forever move...real world mei people would stop marriage plans...coz in today's world a girl's work is as important as a guy's! But even then we never had these two talk... If I were II, I would feel cheated that my partner never shared such a big plan with me because all plans after marriage affect both parties..R&B cant take the decision alone... Its another thing that R&B possibly now is himself undecided about his permanent move to Paris after his marriageπ So now that thing is a mute point!
Am totally onboard with the point that women should not start spending hubby's money just coz they got married... Am not married but I know, when I get married I would feel awkward in spending my hubby's money... My first instinct would be to spend my money... And if I were to get in II's situation, I would tell my hubby ki dekho dude, maine aise karnaamey kar diye... I know galat kiya... You can scold but ab aagey kya karoon... Not like you should give me money but atleast advise me how to avoid future insolvancy coz what increased my expense is now going to be my future monthly expense as well... Its not 1 time expense! Its funny that its ok for her that her rel mgr knows her insolvent state but not her own husband! Not even the most practical of marriages are like that! There is a nice way to say that I dont want to spend your money, which II used when she said she doesnt want his money the day he proposed, but to have a screaming match when you know you were wrong... She could have got angry ki ved ko kyu involve kiya... Instead she did a series of blunder... Tiff in kitchen about shravu nandu was the bad part, so was the DII bhraman just coz R&B snapped... She is 28-29... Can she even imagine what would one feel losing a parent to a suicide attempt... N the cause on the surface appearing to be the other parent?!? How can you expect for things to turn all green just coz its been 4-5years... She loves the guy, does she not feel the pain he feels missing his mom?!? Specially since she knows R&B was most close to his mom and that he hasnt forgiven his dad for his mom's death?!? I know she only expected him to go ask what ofc problem was... But she knows how R&B operates... He doesnt go ask even Sam or her whats wrong with either... Why was she expecting the dude to go talk? N then he snapped, she couldnt understand his hurt in that snap? Instead it was all about her, she came to DII just to show that I am angry with you? Thankgod Vandu n Amma told her what they did... I just wonder how she handles office? Mere yaha sab below the belt vaar kar rahe hain aajkal fir bhi I go to dailyπ Its another story ki mere paas ab marne ke liye bhi chutti nahi bachi...future se borrow karke marna padega...π You dont just up and leave just coz you have a tiff, instead you use some other tactics to handle the situation! And II definitely needs to change her outlook towards her marriage...there is only soo much patience a person have... This is her first marriage... So is the case with R&B... Ye uski bhi pehli shaadi hai... He is adjusting to it as well... So why should it always be him ki wo manata firey?? II toh mujhe pehle jaisi hi lagti hai in most of her insecurities still!!
Edited by harshita27 - 8 years ago