6 years ago
Pins and Needles and Trading Truths
""I will be master of what is mine own; She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house, My household stuff, my field, my barn, My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything; And here she stands, touch her whoever dare""
-William Shakespeare, English dramatic poet (1564-1616) in Taming the Shrew."
There is something about a man claiming ownership of a woman in her life span in the roles he plays as a husband, father, brother and even as a father in law too. The women do not realise when they become emotional punching bags.
With changing times , I should say , Spouses become punching bags for each other for all the frustration and resentment they harbor at work , streets and home... Taking for granted has become a pattern of the way we live...
Appa , R&B and Ranjan ji too are at loggerheads claiming ownership of II as a father, husband and daughter in law respectively... the patriarchal mindset and behaviour of Indian society has not spared either of them..., Appa saying hmmmph, she will remain my daughter, R&B thinking(not saying, if you note) bull, she is mine and mine only... And Ranjan ji saying excuse me please, don't forget me, I am there too, she is now my daughter in law and my betaji ..she is the rounak of my home now
Appa is all benovalent and accommodating till the second his wife steps in to their home and he takes out all the resentments both emotional and financial of the situation he is put into by his own daughter and to a large extent , self suffering that he has inflicted on himself , so who does he take it out on, who else but his wife, Mrs. Iyer...Ha ha.
II in turn is taking out on her spouse R&B for the frustration she is having now, that too in a relationship where she is validating the permanence of it... Self doubts... To what extent can a prenup cover you!!! What can you do about the liberties you have to excercise ... I mean there is something about not ruffling the feathers too much... With the back ground of her upbringing ,She is uncomfortable to leave instructions to the staff at home for menu,,,, she goes ahead and does it anyway... , her husband or her FIL has covered her car , be it for the repairs or the annual parking fee... She is suddenly feeling alienated by her parents for not keeping her informed of the latest happennings, she is not able to influence her parents on a car that she knows they badly need, she feels she has lost whatever ground she stood on as Appa will merrily gloat hitting on her husbands family!!! Any opportunity to do so will be taken with glee in a second by Appa ... Truly pins and needles...
Rigid masculinity..., should count for emotional violence, nahi??? Hit it out folks ... All for peace