RELATION: Make or Break - Page 2

Hi guys,

 

                 This topic is on relation. In simple words, what is a relation. When relation is been made then why it is break. Let me be clear I am not talking abt a relation of parents and there children, brother –sister, in short blood relation coz this we cannot say that it can be broken some problems may occur, u may be sperate but some where in heart you will be having soft corner for them. Ok let me come to the point…

I am talking abt a relation of friendship and love.(u can count married couples too)

About friendship It can be in any form girl- girl,boy-boy.. why a small misunderstanding breaks a friendship.

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

 

I don't know how others treat this forum but I personally feel if I have some problem and if I tell them they are ready to help me however they can. Even he/she is in Canada, USA, UK or even Norway… they are always there.

 

Friendship not only in forum but an over all look..

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?

 

Some one from forum said me few words which I cant forget…."In a relation many problems can come but it should not effect the amt of love for each other. Unless trust is broken other things should not at all matter. Views may differ but it cannot be a reason for relation break up…"   

 

Need your views…

 

can treat text in purple as questions...

 

 

Cheers,

Ahmed

Edited by Ms. Bholi Bhali - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

Friendship is entirely dependent on the persons in the relationship.  Be it on forum, be it in real life, be it in school/ college/ office, if the two parties to the relationship decide to make it work, it will last and last for however long they want it to last or however long they nurture it. 

Forum is different from real life in only this respect that on the forum, we dont see thier face , we dont touch their hands, we dont hug them personally, which we do in real life.  But dont we do those things virtually?   When a forum friend is sad, dont we cry, when a friend is upset, dont we hug them on IM or forum?  Are those fake?  If the intentions behind it is fake, then they are fake, but where the intention behind it is very genuine, and you mean every thing you write, you mean every hug you send on IM or forum, then it is as genuine as real. 

I have some wonderful friends on the forum, who are not just virtual friends.  They are a part of my life, they are an integral part of my existence.  No day begins or ends without talking to them, or speaking to them on phone/ chat/ forum.  I am far more close to some of my forum friends than I am to some real life ones too.... and their being a virtual friend has made no difference to my feelings. 

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

Is this only in virtual relationship or do these things happen in real life as well.  How many times in college did we hear from a third friend that xyz said something about you, that hurt you, in the rush of emotions, you go and fight with that person and break it off.  Do we stop to think that the other friend may not have said that at all.  Why do we distinguish between different friends or shoud I say why are there different categories of friends.  Some friends, you will believe anything you hear about them, but there are some friends, which, whatever happens, you trust so much that you know they will never back stab you.  This trust is common both in virtual and in real life.  For me, forum friendship, today, is as good as a real life friendship, because of my friends, who made that extra effort to break the barrier of the internet.  

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

Any friendship, as I said above, is entirely upto the set of friends.  In this very forum itself, there is one person whose views have always been dimetrically opposite mine.  We have always stood on opposite side of the fences when it came to issues, we have fought bitterly, we have had our share of heart aches, but that has always been only on issue related and it has not and hopefully will never affect our friendship.  But yes, there have also been friends who have fought on forum or other related issues and have allowed the friendship to wither away.  The issue was trivial, but the ego of the two friends or whatever it is which stood in the way of friendship was so big that the issue got sidelined and the friendship suffered.  At the end of the day,  it is upto us to decide the fate of our friendships.

 

I don't know how others treat this forum but I personally feel if I have some problem and if I tell them they are ready to help me however they can. Even he/she is in Canada, USA, UK or even Norway… they are always there.

 

Friendship not only in forum but an over all look..

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

Yes.  More often than not, it is the bruised ego which speaks than a bruised heart.  Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego.  

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?

It is the lack of will to fight for something you believe in.  It is lack of conviction and belief.  If the man or woman was good enough to trust and marry five years back, how have the circumstances changed during the period, that you suddenly find a lack of trust.  When you get married without conviction or for reasons besides trust and love and the need and desire to get married, it was never a relation based on trust, so the question on  trust breaking is really incidental.  Man/ Woman finds it a convenient excuse to blame failing relationships on lack of trust, when the real answers lie elsewhere.  The real answers prick their concience and possibly thats why they will always be pushed under the carpet and the "Trust" is given full importance. 

Some one from forum said me few words which I cant forget…."In a relation many problems can come but it should not effect the amt of love for each other. Unless trust is broken other things should not at all matter. Views may differ but it cannot be a reason for relation break up…"  

Beautiful words 👏 particularly the words made bigger font.  I endorse the view whole heartedly.

 

Need your views…

 

can treat text in purple as questions...

 

 

Cheers,

Ahmed

Thanks Ahmed for starting this beautiful topic 👏

thanks priya ji ..for direct dil se answers..
but we will have a debate later in couple of day abt
your words 😃 "Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego".   

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

thanks priya ji ..for direct dil se answers..
but we will have a debate later in couple of day abt
your words 😃 "Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego".   

Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.  But if there is a debate, I would love to participate 😛

Originally posted by: s.priya

Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.  But if there is a debate, I would love to participate 😛

yes debate will be there... even though i agree but ego comes so have to disagree..😆😆..... jokes apart...

it is completly based on situation  cant say woman is correct or man is wrong😊.

 

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

First of All, Great topic!!!!! 👏👏👏

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

 

 Yes, I think so. If people show what they really are. What they say on the forum, is really what they are, friendships can last. It is same for real friendships too. Friendship is all about trust. And trust remains only then you be ur self, your thoughts on and offline are same. Friendships don't last on virtual and real life because there is a confusion weather to trust or depend, that person. People who are not clear about this will always have that thing in that mind, "what if uss naye issa kiya/kaha……. Blah blah"  and that's when friendships are broken. You need to have a clear mind when u talk to ur friend. If you trust them, then whatever others say it wouldn't affect you.

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

 

If such situations happen, then they were not your "true" friends in the first place. If I have faith in my friend, and know what they will say when, or what they do, there will be no misunderstanding. but there are situations where something comes and hit u from nowhere, u are hurt, but if ur trust is strong enough it will not break in one go.

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

 

Well it's an individual thing; maybe their friendship was that weak. But to be honest, they can "break" their friendship like this but they can't move on. Its hard to lose a loved one. Like Priya di said, there is always a difference of opinion, but it shouldn't affect your friendship, because as a normal human being you have every right to have an opinion and to keep it too. Others can share their point of view with you, but can't force you to change yours. Friends should understand too. But again, this doesn't only happen in virtual world but also happens in real world. My best friend in real world is direct opposite to me. But our friendship is going well, because we don't try to change each other. We are what we are, accept us in the default form or don't, simple. Its not being rude or arrogant, it is being proud of what u are. Ppl who want to change coz of others opinion, land nowhere.

 

 

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

 

 Ego can be one of the reasons, but it is not the main one. Main reason of breakage is trust. Plus if ur friendship or love is so strong, then ego will never come in between, because ego is only there to break, and we don't want to lose ppl we love.

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now, why?

 

 Sometimes its not the trust which breaks a marriage, it's the lack of love from the beginning. Maybe it was a compromise from the very start. And after 4-5 years they understood that its not worth it. People change as the time passes, their thinking change, their point of views change. The birds chirping, flowers blooming, water flowing and all other things which they saw and dreamt of before their marriage, when comes to reality, it is not that beautiful, they realize it after that marriage that it was actually, husband shouting, wife complaining, kids crying and so on. They expect a very smooth life, which is not. They dream of things which are only in bollywood or Hollywood. They over dream it, and when they wake up, it's a different story, they get irritated and stubborn.

 

 

Need your views…

 

Aaaaaaaaaa I am half a sleep. I hope what I wrote, made some sense!! 😳

 

 

Originally posted by: Ms. Bholi Bhali

First of All, Great topic!!!!! 👏👏👏

  The birds chirping, flowers blooming, water flowing and all other things which they saw and dreamt of before their marriage, when comes to reality, it is not that beautiful, they realize it after that marriage that it was actually, husband shouting, wife complaining, kids crying and so on.

Need your views…

 

Aaaaaaaaaa I am half a sleep. I hope what I wrote, made some sense!! 😳

 

yes your views may be correct coz experience tells more..😆😆😆

yes trust plays a vital role..but how come that is broken in a second this may be virtual for some one ..but i feel people share here more then with there real friends😊

 

Edited by guess_gallery - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

yes your views may be correct coz experience tells more..😆😆😆

yes trust plays a vital role..but how come that is broken in a second this may be virtual for some one ..but i feel people share here more then with there real friends😊

 

grrr i don't have any experince of that!!!😡 

nahian, it depends on each person. for me, its same. i share everything with my friends on and offline equally. a virtual friends knows u more then ur family. and a real life friend knows u and ur family. even ur chacha and khala. so it depends really.

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

Hi guys,

 

                 This topic is on relation. In simple words, what is a relation. When relation is been made then why it is break. Let me be clear I am not talking abt a relation of parents and there children, brother –sister, in short blood relation coz this we cannot say that it can be broken some problems may occur, u may be sperate but some where in heart you will be having soft corner for them. Ok let me come to the point…

I am talking abt a relation of friendship and love.(u can count married couples too)

About friendship It can be in any form girl- girl,boy-boy.. why a small misunderstanding breaks a friendship.

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

yes, I have made many here, and some have become long term to the point  that I actually met the person and we have become very close.( you may now who I am talking about😉 )

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

 

You have stumped me on this one. If the freindship is true that friends name is always there. Well in virtual world we encounter many, yet only a few who leave a strong impact on you. I think if the friendship is true you are with it to the bitter end.

 

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

 

If a true friend they would not break the relation over an argument unless it was true betrayl(and that in itself says alot).I have arguments with relatives, roomies, yet we still are there for one another no matter what. 

 

I don't know how others treat this forum but I personally feel if I have some problem and if I tell them they are ready to help me however they can. Even he/she is in Canada, USA, UK or even Norway… they are always there(I agree with your statement)

 

Friendship not only in forum but an over all look..(agree)

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

 

yes, ego is a huge factor in my opinion, and that usually a mans ego such as if wife/girlfriend earns more than boyfriend/husband, and is regarded more successful than her counter part( agree or not?)

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?

 

I think it has tobe weak to start with. Since Marriage is not a game there are ups and downs in life, not all is rosy, its just how you adjust. These days people are not willing to spend the time to nurture a relation (its their way or .....)

 

Some one from forum said me few words which I cant forget…."In a relation many problems can come but it should not effect the amt of love for each other. Unless trust is broken other things should not at all matter. Views may differ but it cannot be a reason for relation break up…"    (agree)

 

Need your views…

 

can treat text in purple as questions...

 

 

Cheers,

Ahmed

 

wow Ahmed another global topic in a week sure someone you know very well will have comments😉, till than here are mine.  I will use a purplish tint(not same as above for my answers)

Edited by prietyny - 17 years ago

Originally posted by: guess_gallery

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

Friendship in real life or forum will last as long as there is understanding between the friends. Misapprehension and lack of communication spoils a friendship. In virtual world it is more important to have a better communication because we don't get to meet them everyday and the things we say while making an eye contact creates a good and better impact than what we try to convey through PMs and chats.

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

Is chatting or talking to each other daily but not really meaning a word, true friendship? I don't think so. Virtual friendships can be tricky. I would rather not talk to a person than making thousand faces behind chat window and showing smile emoticon on IM. I think such friends are worse than foes.  I have had my share of arguments and misunderstandings with friends in virtual as well as real world. Now I am very close to some of them. With some I started as foes but turned best of friends.  There is nothing which is entirely true in any relationship. Both sides need to work hard in maintaining a good friendship. When you take a friend for granted then the reliability is lost and many friendship turn sour.

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship..why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

For some it is and some will cling on to it even if it doesn't have anything to offer anymore. Trust me it is really hard to not talk to someone whom you considered a good friend at one time. Clash of views shouldn't affect friendship but it does. May be its ego may be not. I am only human. It is possible that sometimes I do what my heart says and sometimes I listen to my soul. It is never easy to break any good relation but as I mentioned above when you take another for granted then the reliability is lost.

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

As I mentioned earlier, misapprehension and lack of communication spoils a friendship. It is better to talk it out. But who will initiate? That's when ego creeps in. If we keep things bottled up then there will be more animosity which will spoil the relationship beyond repair.  But sometimes when you are clear-cut that too causes resentment.

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?

Lack of communication is one of the main reasons. The problems are there from day one but in the beginning a couple might ignore some issues which upset them because they don't want their spouse to get offended and try to avoid disagreements and fights. Sometimes in doing so slowly things get bottled up and one day when you burst the impact is worse. Its okay to make few sacrifices to keep a relation going but in my opinion you should never ever ignore yourself for the sake of any relationship be it friendship or marital. Be truthful to yourself.

Edited by anjali.nair - 17 years ago