RELATION: Make or Break

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Posted: 13 years ago

Hi guys,

 

                 This topic is on relation. In simple words, what is a relation. When relation is been made then why it is break. Let me be clear I am not talking abt a relation of parents and there children, brother –sister, in short blood relation coz this we cannot say that it can be broken some problems may occur, u may be sperate but some where in heart you will be having soft corner for them. Ok let me come to the point…

I am talking abt a relation of friendship and love.(u can count married couples too)

About friendship It can be in any form girl- girl,boy-boy.. why a small misunderstanding breaks a friendship.

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

 

I don't know how others treat this forum but I personally feel if I have some problem and if I tell them they are ready to help me however they can. Even he/she is in Canada, USA, UK or even Norway… they are always there.

 

Friendship not only in forum but an over all look..

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?

 

Some one from forum said me few words which I cant forget…."In a relation many problems can come but it should not effect the amt of love for each other. Unless trust is broken other things should not at all matter. Views may differ but it cannot be a reason for relation break up…"   

 

Need your views…

 

can treat text in purple as questions...

 

 

Cheers,

Ahmed

Edited by Ms. Bholi Bhali - 13 years ago
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Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by guess_gallery


 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?


Friendship is entirely dependent on the persons in the relationship.  Be it on forum, be it in real life, be it in school/ college/ office, if the two parties to the relationship decide to make it work, it will last and last for however long they want it to last or however long they nurture it. 


Forum is different from real life in only this respect that on the forum, we dont see thier face , we dont touch their hands, we dont hug them personally, which we do in real life.  But dont we do those things virtually?   When a forum friend is sad, dont we cry, when a friend is upset, dont we hug them on IM or forum?  Are those fake?  If the intentions behind it is fake, then they are fake, but where the intention behind it is very genuine, and you mean every thing you write, you mean every hug you send on IM or forum, then it is as genuine as real. 


I have some wonderful friends on the forum, who are not just virtual friends.  They are a part of my life, they are an integral part of my existence.  No day begins or ends without talking to them, or speaking to them on phone/ chat/ forum.  I am far more close to some of my forum friends than I am to some real life ones too.... and their being a virtual friend has made no difference to my feelings. 

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?


Is this only in virtual relationship or do these things happen in real life as well.  How many times in college did we hear from a third friend that xyz said something about you, that hurt you, in the rush of emotions, you go and fight with that person and break it off.  Do we stop to think that the other friend may not have said that at all.  Why do we distinguish between different friends or shoud I say why are there different categories of friends.  Some friends, you will believe anything you hear about them, but there are some friends, which, whatever happens, you trust so much that you know they will never back stab you.  This trust is common both in virtual and in real life.  For me, forum friendship, today, is as good as a real life friendship, because of my friends, who made that extra effort to break the barrier of the internet.  

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???


Any friendship, as I said above, is entirely upto the set of friends.  In this very forum itself, there is one person whose views have always been dimetrically opposite mine.  We have always stood on opposite side of the fences when it came to issues, we have fought bitterly, we have had our share of heart aches, but that has always been only on issue related and it has not and hopefully will never affect our friendship.  But yes, there have also been friends who have fought on forum or other related issues and have allowed the friendship to wither away.  The issue was trivial, but the ego of the two friends or whatever it is which stood in the way of friendship was so big that the issue got sidelined and the friendship suffered.  At the end of the day,  it is upto us to decide the fate of our friendships.


 

I don't know how others treat this forum but I personally feel if I have some problem and if I tell them they are ready to help me however they can. Even he/she is in Canada, USA, UK or even Norway… they are always there.

 

Friendship not only in forum but an over all look..

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?


Yes.  More often than not, it is the bruised ego which speaks than a bruised heart.  Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego.  

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now,why?


It is the lack of will to fight for something you believe in.  It is lack of conviction and belief.  If the man or woman was good enough to trust and marry five years back, how have the circumstances changed during the period, that you suddenly find a lack of trust.  When you get married without conviction or for reasons besides trust and love and the need and desire to get married, it was never a relation based on trust, so the question on  trust breaking is really incidental.  Man/ Woman finds it a convenient excuse to blame failing relationships on lack of trust, when the real answers lie elsewhere.  The real answers prick their concience and possibly thats why they will always be pushed under the carpet and the "Trust" is given full importance. 


Some one from forum said me few words which I cant forget…."In a relation many problems can come but it should not effect the amt of love for each other. Unless trust is broken other things should not at all matter. Views may differ but it cannot be a reason for relation break up…"  


Beautiful words Clap particularly the words made bigger font.  I endorse the view whole heartedly.

 

Need your views…

 

can treat text in purple as questions...

 

 

Cheers,

Ahmed



Thanks Ahmed for starting this beautiful topic Clap
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Posted: 13 years ago
thanks priya ji ..for direct dil se answers..
but we will have a debate later in couple of day abt
your words Big smile "Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego".   
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Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by guess_gallery


thanks priya ji ..for direct dil se answers..
but we will have a debate later in couple of day abt
your words Big smile "Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego".   


Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.  But if there is a debate, I would love to participate Tongue


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Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by s.priya


Originally posted by guess_gallery


thanks priya ji ..for direct dil se answers..
but we will have a debate later in couple of day abt
your words Big smile "Man is far more resilent when it comes to matters of heart and less resilent on matters of ego".   


Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.  But if there is a debate, I would love to participate Tongue


yes debate will be there... even though i agree but ego comes so have to disagree..LOLLOL..... jokes apart...

it is completly based on situation  cant say woman is correct or man is wrongSmile.

 

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Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by guess_gallery


First of All, Great topic!!!!! ClapClapClap

 

1) Can a friendship made in forum can last long?

 

 Yes, I think so. If people show what they really are. What they say on the forum, is really what they are, friendships can last. It is same for real friendships too. Friendship is all about trust. And trust remains only then you be ur self, your thoughts on and offline are same. Friendships don't last on virtual and real life because there is a confusion weather to trust or depend, that person. People who are not clear about this will always have that thing in that mind, "what if uss naye issa kiya/kaha……. Blah blah"  and that's when friendships are broken. You need to have a clear mind when u talk to ur friend. If you trust them, then whatever others say it wouldn't affect you.

 

2) I have seen many in forum they will count some one so closely so friendly, but again may be with some misconception they will not even take there name in friendship list, why??? Was it not a true friendship?

 

If such situations happen, then they were not your "true" friends in the first place. If I have faith in my friend, and know what they will say when, or what they do, there will be no misunderstanding. but there are situations where something comes and hit u from nowhere, u are hurt, but if ur trust is strong enough it will not break in one go.

 

3) Quite recently in forum an argument occurred in particular section. They were good friends but in one case there views were not matching and they left the friendship.. why???? Is friendship so easy to break and move on???

 

Well it's an individual thing; maybe their friendship was that weak. But to be honest, they can "break" their friendship like this but they can't move on. Its hard to lose a loved one. Like Priya di said, there is always a difference of opinion, but it shouldn't affect your friendship, because as a normal human being you have every right to have an opinion and to keep it too. Others can share their point of view with you, but can't force you to change yours. Friends should understand too. But again, this doesn't only happen in virtual world but also happens in real world. My best friend in real world is direct opposite to me. But our friendship is going well, because we don't try to change each other. We are what we are, accept us in the default form or don't, simple. Its not being rude or arrogant, it is being proud of what u are. Ppl who want to change coz of others opinion, land nowhere.

 

 

 

Relation of love

 

4) So, why a simple misunderstanding breaks a relation love? Can we feel ego comes in?

 

 Ego can be one of the reasons, but it is not the main one. Main reason of breakage is trust. Plus if ur friendship or love is so strong, then ego will never come in between, because ego is only there to break, and we don't want to lose ppl we love.

 

5) Relation of wife and husband, (I don't want to include the topic extra martial affair coz that is not the only thing a relation breaks) so excluding that thing why they get separate. when trust is there for so long time may be they are married for 4-5 years so the 5 year trust is simply broken in a minute and they first thing comes in mind is ok that's it we cant be together now, why?

 

 Sometimes its not the trust which breaks a marriage, it's the lack of love from the beginning. Maybe it was a compromise from the very start. And after 4-5 years they understood that its not worth it. People change as the time passes, their thinking change, their point of views change. The birds chirping, flowers blooming, water flowing and all other things which they saw and dreamt of before their marriage, when comes to reality, it is not that beautiful, they realize it after that marriage that it was actually, husband shouting, wife complaining, kids crying and so on. They expect a very smooth life, which is not. They dream of things which are only in bollywood or Hollywood. They over dream it, and when they wake up, it's a different story, they get irritated and stubborn.

 

 

Need your views…

 

Aaaaaaaaaa I am half a sleep. I hope what I wrote, made some sense!! EmbarrassedOuch

 

 

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Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by Ms. Bholi Bhali


First of All, Great topic!!!!! ClapClapClap

  The birds chirping, flowers blooming, water flowing and all other things which they saw and dreamt of before their marriage, when comes to reality, it is not that beautiful, they realize it after that marriage that it was actually, husband shouting, wife complaining, kids crying and so on.

Need your views…

 

Aaaaaaaaaa I am half a sleep. I hope what I wrote, made some sense!! EmbarrassedOuch

 

yes your views may be correct coz experience tells more..LOLLOLLOL

yes trust plays a vital role..but how come that is broken in a second this may be virtual for some one ..but i feel people share here more then with there real friendsSmile

 

Edited by guess_gallery - 13 years ago
0 Likes this
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by guess_gallery


Originally posted by Ms. Bholi Bhali


First of All, Great topic!!!!! ClapClapClap

  The birds chirping, flowers blooming, water flowing and all other things which they saw and dreamt of before their marriage, when comes to reality, it is not that beautiful, they realize it after that marriage that it was actually, husband shouting, wife complaining, kids crying and so on.

Need your views…

 

Aaaaaaaaaa I am half a sleep. I hope what I wrote, made some sense!! EmbarrassedOuch

 

yes your views may be correct coz experience tells more..LOLLOLLOL

yes trust plays a vital role..but how come that is broken in a second this may be virtual for some one ..but i feel people share here more then with there real friendsSmile

 

grrr i don't have any experince of that!!!Angry 

nahian, it depends on each person. for me, its same. i share everything with my friends on and offline equally. a virtual friends knows u more then ur family. and a real life friend knows u and ur family. even ur chacha and khala. so it depends really.

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