Even bars in New
York are empty on Christmas Eve, I can count the number of people in here on
one hand - including myself and the bartender. The atmosphere was almost
depressing in itself, the patrons were quiet, some drinking and some almost
asleep in their seats. The soft Christmas carols don't help the situation much
it seems. Two of the men wistfully look up at the speakers from time to time,
and another groans when a new one starts.
I sit at a table
alone, and like every other day I order a glass of whiskey, always, but I've
never taken a sip of it. I don't know why I buy it, I just tend to gaze at it.
The amber liquid doesn't look inviting at all, even if people say it takes the
pain away. I don't think what I feel is pain, I feel guilt and longing, but
mostly guilt. And I don't think liquor could fix that.
I think of all I
said to her; the hurtful words haunt me and I wonder if they haunt her too, I
hope they don't. Time away from her has made me realize how hurtful those words
were and how wrong they were, how wrong they are.
I want to find
her and tell her that I was an idiot for not believing her, that I was blind
because I couldn't see her goodness like everyone else did. I wanted to
apologize to her and beg her to forgive me even though I didn't deserve it. But
I couldn't find her. At all. I didn't know where she was. She had disappeared
from my life like I had asked her too, I cursed my luck, she never followed
instructions but she followed that one perfectly. It was almost as if she didn't
exist, but the pictures from our pre-wedding functions proved otherwise. She
was smiling in them, her eyes were still pained, because of me. It was always because of me.
you be at home with your family tonight?" I heard a deep voice from across
the table as a man sat down on the chair across from me. I looked up and saw a
man with a snow white beard, it was trimmed neatly and he was wearing a
horrendous red and green flannel shirt. I had neither heard him sit down nor
heard him come in the door. "You looked liked you needed company." He
shrugged looking at me, as if he knew that something was wrong with me. He kind
of reminded me of someone, but I couldn't pinpoint it exactly.
is back home." I said.
are you doing here?" He asked leaning back into his chair, his cheeks were
flushed red as if he'd been outside for too long.
for someone." I answered.
"In a city
as big as New York?" He asked and I nodded. "Who?"
I hesitated, did
I really want to tell this man about all the mistakes I had made? "It's a
that the two of us are in an empty bar the day before Christmas I'd say we have
time." He said. There was just something about him that made me want to
tell him for some reason.
looking for a woman, a woman you love?" He asked and I nodded. "She
"I made her
leave." I said.
start from the beginning boy."
about a year ago, I think I fell in love with her at first sight, I was never
so mesmerized by anyone as I was by her. And then she opened her mouth and I
realized that she was the polar opposite of what I wanted or thought I needed
in a woman."
"But she is
everything you need now." He whispered and I nodded.
know if it was a coincidence or fate, but she came to live with us. She was
from here, visiting India and her brother-in-law is related to my mom. We fought
like animals, I judged her too harshly and I realize now that a lot of it was
because I was trying to fight my feelings for her. I- she was so full of life
and she cared a lot for those around her so she took every opportunity to make
them happy. I didn't understand it at first, I always thought that she just
liked to butt into people's business for no reason; I-I was such an ass. She
was always there for me, for my family but every time she made a mistake I
would snap at her, so badly that I made her cry. I just always assumed the
worst of her because of this warped stereotype...I don't even know where it
came from." I sighed, and I didn't, not even to this day.
"I fell in
love with her though, despite the fact that I left no stone unturned to find
faults in her. I denied it though, to myself and to everyone even though it was
obvious. And then in a turn of events and family problems, my mother demanded
the two of us get married, and the two of us couldn't say no, and I know a part
of it is because I wanted it to happen. We both did. While this was happening
my childhood friend was staying with us, things started going wrong and Zoya
told me a million times that my friend was responsible for it. But I never
listened to her, not even once. I blamed her for the things that happened, on
her carelessness, on her personality...I was such an asshole to her. She left
the day before our wedding, she left a note telling me that there was no point
of getting married if I couldn't trust her. She wrote that she knew I didn't
love her, because trust comes with love, she told me how she felt about
everything I ever said to hurt her. She wrote things she would have said to me
if I ever let her talk, and she left her ring with it." I whispered, my
hand automatically reaching into my coat pocket to find the cold metal.
happened after she left?"
how happy my friend was amidst my sorrow; and things started falling together,
all of it. Zoya was never wrong, she was telling me to believe her and I didn't
listen to her once. My life seemed so empty without her, my mistakes bellowed
at me, and the guilt I felt started eating me alive. I came here to find her,
but she doesn't live at the same place anymore, none of her neighbours know
where she is. I wake up everyday hoping I'll find her, it's been two months but
I can't. I just want to see her and apologize, even if she doesn't want to
accept it, even if I have no chance of getting her back in my life. I want to
tell her that I love her." I was crying by this point; the tears streaming
down my face. I had never said this out loud to anyone, ever.
makes mistakes, and everyone learns their lesson son. I think it's safe to say
that you've learnt yours. You know, the Trump Rink at Central Park is a very
busy one these days, maybe you'll find what you're looking for there." He said
looking right at me, with a knowing smile.
Central Park, there is a cab right outside the door waiting for you son." He
said looking towards the bar door. I stared at him utterly confused at what was
just go." He said looking towards the door. I had no idea why I listened to him
but I got up and walked out the door and into the awaiting cab.
I said to the driver.
"Trump Rink, I
know." He said pulling off the side of the road and into the traffic filled
streets. To say that I was utterly confused would be an understatement.
on?" I asked after a while.
"Consider it a
Christmas miracle." The driver said pulling up beside the curb. "Go straight
down the path, first right, you can't miss it." He said.
"How much do I
owe you?" I asked.
Christmas Asad." The driver said before pulling away. What the hell was going
up, I wasn't sure what but I was now sure that I would find Zoya at the rink,
so I ran, I ran like I had never ran before. I came to a halt outside the rink,
scanning the crowds for the familiar head of silky straight hair, and the
sounds of her tinkling laughter but I didn't see her. There were families and
couples around everywhere, the lights shining on them as snow softly fell on
the ground but Zoya wasn't there.
I sighed and
turned around when I saw her, she was
sitting on a bench trying to lace up her white ice skates, her hair out, a
white hat and scarf on her. She wasn't smiling like she usually did though, she
looked sad. My heart hammered in my
chest as I walked towards her, I was relieved and scared at the same time. I
came to standstill in front of her, she didn't notice me at first, and then she
stopped struggling with her skates, her eyes on my shoes. She slowly trailed
her eyes from my shoes towards my face. Her eyes widened when they met mine.
whispered, the tears trailing down my face.
"Mr. Khan, what
are you-" She said getting up and almost tripping over her skates, my arms
automatically shot out and steadied her.
"I am sorry. I
am so sorry for everything I ever said to you, for everything I ever did to
hurt you, for not believing in you, I am sorry Zoya." I said to her. Her eyes
widened with shock, and she blinked a few times.
"What are you
doing here?" She whispered.
looking for you for two months." I said to her.
"Why? What are
you doing here now?" She asked.
"I love you
Zoya." I said and she let out a scoff.
"I am still the
same Zoya Mr. Khan. The one that's totally wrong for you, a misfit." She
"I was wrong, so
wrong, you aren't a misfit Zoya, you're perfect for me. I need you in my life, I just didn't realize it until you left. I am
an idiot, I know I am, and I don't deserve you, especially after what I've done
but I- I need to do this once, the right away." I said taking out the ring I'd
been carrying around for months and getting down on one knee. "I love you Zoya,
and I am sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. I promise you that I'll
never doubt you again, I won't ever hurt you or make you cry, I'll love you
forever. I'll do whatever you want me to do,
please say you'll take me back? Marry me, please?" I said.
"You are an
idiot." She said and I felt my heart plummet, of course, why would she take me
back after everything I said to her. "But I am the bigger idiot because I am in
love with an idiot." She cried.
"Is that a yes?"
I asked and she nodded holding her hand out. I slid the ring back onto her
finger and looked up at her teary face before I got up.
"This is all for
real this time right?" She asked and I nodded.
"I am never
going to let you take that ring off again." I whispered.
"Good, and Mr.
Khan, when was the last time you shaved, you look like a well-dressed hobo, is
this your Devdas look?" She giggled.
"It's been a
while." I said.
did you find me?" She asked.
thing just happened to me..."
I randomly woke up in the middle of the night and wrote this on my phone, it didn't turn out as well as I thought it would but I posted it anyways, oh wells. Do lemme know what you think and Merry Christmas to those who celebrateee! :D
Unres Yayy I'm second The os was amazing!! Loved it to the core.. It was sweet and the last part where she says devdas look was funny.. Loved when zoya said she is a bigger idiot to fall in love with this idiot Do write more I've read your other works and I really love them.. Your such a brilliant writer Edited by sanah12 - 2014-12-25T12:38:31Z