This content was originally posted by: peaches
I have two questions related to the subject matter.
Question TYPE 1.
If you found out that your spouse was cheating on you (emotionally or physically) what would you do?
If he asked for forgiveness and promised to not do it again would you accept him or her back? What if kids were in the picture?
Would you be more or less forgiving if it was a one night stand vs. an on going thing with another person?
what would i do........i am not really sure. it would depend on circumstances, i would be very hurt and angry needless to say.however it is time to pay attention to where the relationship went wrong and why these circumstances arose in the first place.
would i forgive him ....maybe .again this is a function of circumstances and what lead him astray. over years i have devloped an eerie way of not being judgemental and understanding him. before forgiving him, i would just put myself in his place and think if i would think that he ought to forgive me.ofcourse children would play an important role in the decision.....should i turn everyone's life upside down because my husband was weak?. should i forget a long history together , his devotion to kids, his concerns for me in the past to salvage my pride or should i try salvaging the relationship that has been my anchor and window to love all these tears.i would definately consider giving him a chance to redeem himself.
i would be more willing to forgive an one night stand(i think think of a million scenerios where that could happen) than a long term affair(these is one complicated issue becoz he cheated on me everyday for so many years and apart from physical intimacy ,he must have also devloped some kind of emotional ties to this third person)
Question TYPE 2.
Why do you think men or woman cheat? It is because the are not satisfied in their relationship (emotionally or physically) or are they just looking for an opportunity and are greedy?
Do you believe that a man or a woman can truly love his or her spouse, and still end up cheating on them? In other words, just because they cheated doesn't mean that they don't love their spouse.
If you feel that cheating is different for men and woman, please state your view points.
there is no definate answer to the question of why man and women cheat. most common are
1) staleness in present relationship and an opportunity to feel some excitement or alive again
2) as a ladder to achieve your professional goals.
3)a way to assert the power of ones masculinity(men) and beauty(women ) when going through midlife or identity crisis.
4)acting on harmonal impulses, attractions or getting caught up in the myth of true love(you seem to find it while you are in a ongoing relationship)
5) an outlet for a brewing dissatisfaction(without any reason) with your current life.
6) the spouse is too busy with career, daily household work and kids and you end up getting neglected or as a fixture.
7) society is becoming more and more relaxed and accepting of extramarital affairs.
yes, you can love your spouse even if you cheat on them(as long as it is not everyday occurance).as i said there are millions of scenerios where end up sleeping with some one without any plans of doing so. however there is a distinction between a fullfledged affair (where there are emotions and love involved) on the side and a stray one night stand.
traditionally cheating by men and women have been differents. women cheat with an innate sense of guilt(knowing she is wrong), her emotions are engaged in the act and the reason is normally to get back at current spouse or assertion of still having it(beauty and feminine wiles). as such cheating by women is often treated with utter disgust by the society. on the other hand men traditionally have been known to treat affairs as casual things, at times they even succeed in keeping thier emotions entirely apart from the act and treat the affair like a fulfillment of simple bodily needs.also most society believe that men have a polygamous streak in them(it can be tamed by the right woman ofcourse) and an uncontrollable urge to propogate and procreate the species(sowing the wild oats so to speak). as a result the the society is not very harsh on men.however with changing times when women are becoming more menlike and men are getting in touch with thier feminine sides, the lines are blurring very fast and there is very little difference in cheating by both the genders.
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