Chapter
1: Goodbye Isha
Besanon, France
"I'm getting too old for this," Ram mumbled under his breath as Isha's voice drilled a migraine into his head.
"Excuse me? What did you say?" Isha shrieked. "Speak up, Ram."
"Are you through bitching, Isha? I have a few things to get done, so whenever you feel like wrapping this up, it would be appreciated," Ram replied, sitting on the couch in the massive living room of their chateau, watching as his wife, correction, ex-wife, paced in front of him.
"Have you not been listening to me?" she yelled. "I told you, I'm leaving tonight!"
"Yes, I heard that. So did half of the Northern hemisphere. If you could lower your voice, maybe we can discuss this like adults. I know that's something you're not used to, but I have a headache and I need to go check on Khush."
"Khush, Khush, Khush... he's all you ever think of," Isha said acidly.
"I would hope that's true, especially seeing as how he's our son. Since you obviously don't ever think of him, I do," Ram retorted, his anger slowly growing.
"I have better things to do than chase after a four-year-old," she replied.
"Yes, like sleep with your boy-toy," Ram muttered.
Isha acted like she didn't hear him. "My things are already packed and are on their way to Rouen. Rajeev is waiting for me there."
Ram rolled his eyes.
"You knew this was coming, Ram," Isha said. "I gave you plenty of chances to make our marriage work and yet you didn't seem the least bit interested in keeping me around."
"You'd think that your son would be a pretty good reason for you to stay," Ram replied. "Frankly, I'm glad you've realized where your priorities lie. We're going to be much better off without you."
Isha sighed annoyingly and stuck her fists on her hips. "Don't you even care that I'm leaving?!"
"Why should I?" Ram asked. "You know this marriage isn't based on any sort of emotion. Do I have to keep reminding you that the only reason I stuck that ring on your finger was so that Khush would be a legitibeta child?"
"Khush, Khush, Khush... that mistake of a child took away four good years of my life," Isha exclaimed. "Do you know how much I had to pay in order to get my body back to the way it was before I was saddled with him?"
Ram clenched his fists to keep from hitting her. He would never hit a woman, but sometimes Isha liked to test his self-control. "What kind of a person would call their own child a mistake?"
"I would! He was a mistake. A one-night stand mistake," she explained.
"The one-night stand, yes, that was a mistake," Ram told her. "Khush was not. All he ever wanted from you, Isha, was just a little bit of motherly attention and yet, you never gave him an ounce! You didn't breastfeed him nor did you even feed him in general, you never changed a diaper of his, you never played a single game with him.
"God, Isha! He doesn't even call you mummy, he calls you Isha! Even at four years old, he knows what a shitty mother you are," Ram growled."
"I was never meant to be a mother at nineteen, Draco," she said. "I had places to go and people to see!"
Ram rubbed his temples which were slowly starting to throb. "Ok, fine, whatever. The divorce has been settled, you get 10 percent of whatever assets I have and you can keep the chateau. But Khush stays with me."
"You can have him," Isha snorted. "What good is he going to do me?"
"Daddy?" the small voice of Ram's son sounded from the doorway.
Ram immediately rose off of the couch and walked to his son. He threw a disgusted look at Isha and picked up his son before leaving the living room and walking towards his son's bedroom.
"Were you and Isha fighting again?" Khush asked quietly as he rested his head on his father's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Khush, I didn't want you to have to hear that," Ram told him.
"Why doesn't Isha like me?" Khush asked. "Did I do something bad?"
Ram fought to keep his composure and not turn back around to cast an unforgivable on his ex-wife. "Isha doesn't like anybody but herself, beta. You have never done a bad thing in your life."
Khush nodded and wrapped his arms around Ram's neck. "Can we go to the playground tomorrow?"
As they reached Khush's bedroom, Ram shook his head. "Remember that I told you we were going to see your grandparents tomorrow?"
"Gamma and Gampa?!" Khush said excitedly. "Are we going to see them for a long time?"
Ram smiled at the names Khush had bestowed upon Krishna and Amarnath back when he was a toddler and had some trouble pronouncing a few letters, including the letter 'r'. "We're going to stay with them while I buy us a new house to live in. One that's close to them so we can see them more often."
Khush's dark blond eyebrows furrowed. "Is Isha coming with us?"
"No," Ram assured as he settled Khush into his bed. "Isha is going to be living here in France. She won't be living with us anymore."
"Oh," Khush said. "Are you happy, daddy?"
"As long as you're happy, then I'm happy," Ram told him.
"Ok. I'm sleepy. Does that mean you're sleepy?" he asked with his usual determination of curiosity.
Ram laughed quietly and shook his head. "Do you want a story tonight?"
Khush thought for a moment, his little pink lips pursed in contemplation. As Khush made his father wait for an answer, Ram studied his son, like he did most nights.
A messy patch of jet black locks adorned the top of his head, a few strands falling into his grey eyes. An infinite amount of people had told Ram that Khush was a spitting image of him. Krishna insisted that Khush was an exact copy of him as a child, except for the lighter shade of black.
Khush had the innocent face of a cherub, expectant and trusting. He differed from his father in the fact that his facial features were softer and not yet carved into the planes and angles of adulthood that Ram featured.
"I'm too sleepy for a story, daddy," Khush yawned. "Tomorrow when we see Gamma and Gampa, can they read me a story?"
"They will be so happy to see you, khush. They haven't seen you in a few months and they will do almost anything you ask, so I'm positive that they will want to read you a story."
Khush smiled and turned to his side, his eyelids drooping. "Goodnight, daddy," he whispered.
Ram kissed his forehead and tucked the covers around him tighter. "Night, khush."
As he quietly closed the door behind him, Ram heaved a sigh he didn't know he was capable of. He passed by the living room where Isha had seemingly disappeared from. Thank God.
The hallways of the chateau were empty, with everything being packed up and ready to be shipped off to either Rouen with Isha or back to Mumbai with Ram and Khush.
When he reached his own bedroom, the one he rarely shared with Isha while they were married, his thoughts drifted to the memories of how he came to be a single father of the most wonderful child a man could ask for.
oxxxo
"You're pregnant?" Ram choked.
Isha rolled her eyes in irritation. "Of course I'm pregnant. I haven't bled in nearly three months."
"Woah, too much information, Isha," Ram grimaced. "Have you seen a doctor?"
"I went this morning and they confirmed it. God, I can't believe you forgot protection. It's so simple ," she yelled.
"You're blaming me?" Ram asked incredulously. "You were the one who told me that you were on the pill and that I had nothing to worry about."
"I was on the pill! But there's still a ninety-nine percent success rate with the pill. You should have taken care of the one percent!"
Ram inwardly groaned. Suicide looked tempting. So did homicide. He wasn't too picky.
"Well, you know what this means, don't you?" Isha asked.
Ram outwardly groaned. "We have to get married."
"Damn right, we have to get married. Can you just imagine the degradation of being an unwed mother? We would be shunned from every social circle around," Isha complained.
Another groan. "Have you told anyone yet?"
"No, what do you think I am? Stupid?"
Ram wondered if that was a trick question. The honest answer was on the tip of his tongue, but he figured if he was going to marry the bint, he might as well get used to not insulting her.
A one-night stand with Isha had turned into the first day of the rest of his life.
Vikram's birthday party had included massive amounts of alcohol and massive amounts of drinking games. That night had also included a massive amount of poor decisions.
Poor decision number one: going to Vikram's party
Poor decision number two: getting completely smashed and making out with Isha in the closet.
Poor decision number three: letting his damn d*** do the thinking while he was drunk.
Poor decision number four: shagging Isha in the same closet while a party was going on in the background.
Poor decision number five: shagging Isha period.
Poor decision number six: see poor decision numbers four and five.
He was never going to get drunk again. Ever. Never ever.
oxxxo
"I am so sick of being pregnant," Isha whined. "I don't understand how people have more than one child. I feel like shit, look like shit and probably smell like it, too."
Once again, Ram found himself wondering if Isha wanted a response. After six months of dealing with her, he knew the correct times to give his opinion and the correct times to disappear from the chateau that his parents had bought them as a wedding present.
Thinking about the chateau's location in France, Ram knew his parents were distancing themselves from Hurricane Isha. In fact, Krishna had absolutely no tolerance for her daughter-in-law, constantly reminding anyone who would listen to her.
"When is your stupid baby going to come out?" Isha asked with an angry sigh. "My feet hurt and my back hurts and everything hurts!"
"Shut up, Isha. Seriously. Just shut up. My head hurts from your goddamn whining and moaning," Ram finally said.
With a slap to his arm and a string of curse words that would have made a sailor blush, Isha left the room and locked herself in their bedroom.
oxxxo
"OOWWW!" Isha's voice woke Ram up that very night. "Son of a f**king OW!"
Ram sighed and got out of bed, walking over to the other bed in the master bedroom. Yes, you read that right. No sane man would sleep in the same bed as a pregnant, behemoth bitch. From the very beginning until the very end, Ram and Isha never shared a bed.
Ram had learned his lesson from poor decisions 4, 5 and 6.
"What's wrong, Isha?" Ram asked sleepily, stumbling around, looking for the lamp.
"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's f**king wrong; your stupid child is ready to come out while I'm trying to get my damn beauty sleep. If I don't get the recommended eight and a half hours of sleep, I could develop wrinkles as early as the age of twenty! That's what's wrong!"
Ram sighed as he helped Isha out of bed and drove straight towards L'hpital de Mysticisme in the nearby town of Dijon. It was the only hospital that was conveniently nearby.
Arriving at the hospital, being yelled at by Isha and trying to calm his nerves at finally getting to meet his child left Ram physically and emotionally drained. He had sat in the waiting room for five hours because Isha refused to let him in the delivery room. She barely wanted the doctor and nurses in there. Heaven forbid somebody see her in a less than fashionable state.
oxxxo
"Monsieur Kapoor? Would you like to see your new son?" the soft voice of the elderly nurse roused Ram from his half-sleep state.
He rubbed his face and stood up, walking towards her and the blanketed bundle in her arms.
If someone had told him earlier that he would instantly fall in love with a child he had made with Isha Sinhgania upon first sight, he would have recommended a nice mental health institution for that person.
Nothing could have prepared him for the onslaught of emotions at seeing his pouting baby boy in his arms. His throat clogged with unspoken feeling as he gazed at the round face of the flaxen haired infant. Wisps of downy black hair crowned his head and molten mercury eyes refused to open behind dark eyelashes.
Ram knew from that moment as he had held his son for the first time, that nothing in the world would ever come between them. He would make it his life's duty to make sure nothing ever harmed the child he had created. Ram had never loved anything more.
oxxxo
"Would you like to hold your baby, Madame?" the nurse asked Isha, who had seemed to have acquired a permanent scowl on her face.
"He caused me enough pain. I'm tired, so leave me to sleep," Isha scowled.
Ram sat in the rocking chair near the window of Isha's hospital room, holding his new son, Khush Ram Kapoor.
The nurse suppressed a surprised look and shared a glance with Ram. He knew a pity-look when he saw one. "Very well, Madame. I'll wake you in an hour so you can feed him."
"I already told you that I'm not letting my breasts go to hell just so the kid can eat. I've seen what breastfeeding does to women. I won't have saggy tits by the time I hit my mid-twenties. Give him the formula like last time," Isha said in an annoyed tone.
The nurse stared at Isha as if contemplating whether to laugh or smother her with the pillow she was fluffing. Ram hoped she decided on the latter option.
An hour after Isha had fallen asleep, something the hospital and Ram were thankful for, Ram held his son and just stared at him. As if disturbed by being watched, Khush carefully opened his eyes and blinked slowly up at his father, a disconcerted look on his face.
Identical grey eyes stared up at Ram, acknowledging his presence and status of fatherhood. That had been one of the single greatest moments Ram could remember since forever.
After being cleared of conspiratorial acts towards the murder of PM Patel, Ram and his parents gave up their loyalty to Dawood Ibrahim by staying out of the fighting. By not helping the light side, they got to keep their persona of 'every man for himself.'
Holding his son, Ram knew he had made the right choice in convincing his parents (mostly his father) to give up the stupid devotion to the gangsters and their groupie: Dawood.
oxxxo
"Oh, little Khush!" Krishna tearfully greeted her grandson. "Look how big you've gotten!"
Khush looked up at her with wide eyes and a toothy grin. "Ba ba ba ba ba," he babbled.
"Has he said his first word, yet?" Amarnath asked as he watched Krishna coo at the one-year-old in her lap.
Ram shook his head. "He just babbles. Drives Isha crazy," he added with a smile.
"Thank you for not bringing her, Ram" Krishna suddenly said. "The holidays would have been completely ruined with her presence."
"My life is completely ruined with her presence," Ram muttered. "She's visiting her friends in Florence."
"Have you considered what we talked to you about, dear?" Krishna asked. "About possibly divorcing her?"
Ram sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want Khush growing up without his mother. I owe him that much at least."
"He's better off without her," Amarnath said silkily. "I've never met a woman so disinterested in her own child. Does she spend any time with him at all?"
Ram shrugged. "I take him to work with me, I bathe him, feed him, change him, play with him. She mentioned that she'd rather not hear his cries because they give her a headache."
"And you're torturing yourself by staying married to her? Why, Ram?" Krishna asked, stroking Khush's hair.
"It's good for him to know his mother, even if she is a horrible one. I don't want to deprive him of anything and if that means I have to stick with her for a while, well, then I can make a few sacrifices for him."
oxxxo
"I've met someone," Isha said coolly as Ram dressed Khush in a pair of denim overalls. It was the day before Khush's third birthday.
"Have you?" Ram asked, making a face at Khush to make him laugh.
"Yes, his name is Rajeev," she replied. "We're in love."
"Well, that's good. Love's important, isn't it, Khush?" Ram asked, hiding a smirk.
Khush squealed a small laugh and stood up on the changing table to hold on to his father. "Daddy!" he screamed. "Hop, hop dance hop!"
"Can you pay me a second of attention?" Isha asked irritably. "I just thought I'd let you know that I want a separation."
"Not a divorce?" Ram asked simply as he picked Khush up and walked out of the door, leaving Isha no choice but to follow him.
"I thought you wanted me around for the kid?" Isha asked acerbically. "I might as well stick around and have a little fun on the side. Since you won't sleep with me, might as well find someone who will."
"I'll send Rajeev my condolences," Ram told her.
"Argh!" Isha yelled with frustration. "You don't take anything seriously! All you care about is Khush and what Khush wants and what Khush needs. Well, what about what I want? What about what I need?!"
Ram ignored her and walked outside into the large backyard of their chateau, where Khush's jungle gym was. He set the boy down and watched as he walked off to climb and explore.
"I need to feel like a woman, Ram and you obviously don't treat me like one. Rajeev is a good man who loves me!"
"Does he know you're married?" Ram asked apathetically. He wasn't really interested in what she had to say, but he was bored and infuriating Isha was a favorite pastime of his.
"Yes, he knows. He knows what a horrible sham of a marriage this is. He knows it isn't based on love, but on the fact that we were careless idiots who can't practice safe sex," she replied.
"Practice? I'm sure we did it just the one time. Don't make it seem like more. I have enough disturbing thoughts without having to add the one of you and me having sex more than once," Ram said.
With another yell of annoyance, Isha turned on her stiletto heels and left the yard.
oxxxo
Ram got into his bed and turned out the lights, his head aching with the juxtaposed memories and the tiring day he had had of finalizing his divorce.
After insistent persuasion from his parents that Khush wouldn't be affected by not having a mother around and the fact that Isha wanted to marry her lover, Rajeev, Ram had signed the divorce papers with ease.
The only regret he had was why he hadn't signed the damned things earlier. Stubborn idiot, that's what he was.
He closed his eyes and cleared his head from everything. Tomorrow would be the start of his life with Khush in Mumbai. He had practically been a single father the entire time Khush had been alive, due to the negligent nature Isha had radiated. He wasn't too worried about his skills as a father.
He did worry about how Khush would adjust to life in Mumbai and whether he would like being put in an early education center instead of going to work with his father everyday. The Little Boys & Girls Early Education Centre had recently opened and Ram was sure that it was a great place for Khush. He needed to be around kids his own age and to start learning the basics of primary education.
Most elite families home-schooled their children before it was time to send them to The Cathedral & John Connon School , but with the hectic schedule of owning his own company and taking care of a child, Ram found it a bit difficult to try and teach Khush everything he would need to know in order to make it as an intellectually capable adolescent.
He would leave it to the professionals.
And with that thought in mind, Ram dozed off into the world of slumber where problems disappeared, solutions played out, and fantasies emerged center stage.
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