Kuch kam hui Frustrations Part 7a page 10
The reason I have decided to pen these words here is so that I may, somehow arrange my confused, erratic and wayward feelings into some coherent order.
I feel helpless!
But I am unable AND unwilling to express myself to any mortal! Hence, I have trusted this pen and paper, as the means to vent out my emotions which I am NOW powerless to keep inside me!
My heartbeat... which I felt had ceased to exist after my first heartbreak...has returned with a bang!!
My desires have awakened...not to be extinguished in any way!
My mind... the brilliant CEO of the Year mind... is going crazy!!
AND there is only ONE person responsible for all this!
Only ONE infuriating, lecturing, Semaj sewak... slender, sexy, alluring...I mean JHANSI KI RANI Madrasan!!
I hate her! I hate her for reducing me to a fumbling, stuttering, blushing teenage boy!!
But I love her! I love her sweet voice, her innocence, her naivety at how she is affecting me!
I don't know what has happened to me? All I think about every minute of the day is the Madrasan and her sexy swaying hips! She tortures me in my thoughts, on my laptop screen as well as in every room of my home, especially in my bedroom! I can't get away from her! There was some relief when she wore those 5 yard thaans of cloth! But recently she is killing me with her sexy avtaar in those see through and net sarees! Why o why did I have to tease her about them! Now she is unwittingly teasing me and my desires with the sleeveless, backless one hooked blouses which my hands itch to open! My lust is let loose as she wonders around my, erm I mean our bedroom and I see her sexy waist through her net, non-existence pallu!
Now I nearly have a panic attack every morning, contemplating that it is not only me who is going crazy and hormonal in her presence but when she is going to work wearing these sexy sarees and comes up close and intimate with all sorts of patients and male staff thy could also be lusting after her! How do I stop her! Where is her brain? O yes she hasn't got one!
I don't want any other son of a b***h to go near her never mind feel what I'm feeling for her!
I am in a constant state of destitute helplessness!
I want to grab her arm, pull her to my chest and kiss her senseless! I want to do delve in her embrace, sink into those eyes and taste those titillating lips!
Alas, I can't do anything!
It is like having a bottle of a prized whiskey in front of me but being unable to touch or drink it!! Arrrgg!!
And the worst part is that while my pent up desire and longing coerce me to act out my sinful fantasies with my madrasan I have to INSTEAD keep up my facade of anger, rudeness and aloofness to maintain my ego!! I have to live up to the name RAAVAN KUMAR which she has given me. How can I, the great RKB bow down to her and show her how I am desperate for her! Desperate to shower her with my love, to introduce her to pleasure, to take her to the heights of passion!
Or can I?
She is after all my legally wedded wife...
O no here she comes! I better put you away!
Freshly showered and in her green kurta and leggings! Arrrggg
God help me! I don't think I'll be getting any sleep tonight either with this passion burning inside me! Arrrggg madrasan!!!
Thank you guys for you comments! They really mean alot I know this was an OS but I'm getting an idea to continue maybe from Ishita's POV...What do you say friends?
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