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Hello! I was wondering how things would have been different if Sanam and Aahil actually talked after what Tanveer said to Aahil and before Sanam found out anything about Billi. I've had it written for about a week now, and I miss SaHil so I am posting it now! It's just fluff for everyone that's missing Sanam and Aahil right now like I am :) Hope you like it, do let me know what you think!
I watched the red numbers glare at me as another minute passed. 12:23pm. And then another minute passed but there was still no sign of Aahil. The bed
that had felt so small initially now felt huge without him. It felt weird to
not see him typing away on his phone when I walked in to sleep for the night.
Even though we slept on different sides of the bed, with different blankets, I
couldn't help but miss his presence. I missed his soft breathing and the way he
liked to sleep with his arm over his eyes. I stared at his side of the bed just
willing for him to appear out of thin air because I missed him.
A creak broke me out of my trance, and I saw him slowly open the bedroom
door and step in, he looked towards the bed but probably couldn't see that I
was awake due to how dark it was, but my eyes had adjusted well enough to know
that it was him. He was still in the blue shirt and khakees that he was wearing
when he left a few hours ago telling me that it was pointless to envision a
future with him while his eyes said something entirely different. He quietly
closed the door, probably trying not to wake me up, and I decided that I
wouldn't let him know that I was awake just yet. I wanted to see what he would
do.
He walked over to my side of the bed and I closed my eyes shut, but
I could still feel him, he was hovering over me for a second, probably checking
if I was asleep. And then I heard his footsteps retreat towards the bathroom. I
opened my eyes and took a deep breath, wondering what was going on with him.
For the second night in a row, he had come back later than he usually did, when
he knew or thought I would be asleep. And he actually woke up early and left
before I woke up, Aahil hated waking up early - he was avoiding me, and I was
going to find out why.
I heard the bathroom door open a few minutes later and I closed my
eyes again, he walked over to his side of the bed and I felt it dip under his
weight as he settled into it. I felt him turn towards me, and then I felt his
hand brush away a lock of hair from my face and my eyes flew open to meet his.
I watched as his eyes widened with shock and he pulled his hand back like he
was on fire trying to turn away, but I wasn't going to let him do that. My hand
shot out towards him and went to his arm, keeping him from turning away.
"Sanam, let me go." He whispered, not looking towards me, but I just
pulled him so he would face me.
"Why are you avoiding me?" I asked looking at him while he tried to
look everywhere but at me.
"I am tired, let me sleep." He mumbled trying to turn away again.
"Aahil, what's going on?" I asked.
"Nothing, just let me sleep." He snapped.
"No, not until you tell me what happened."
"Nothing happened Sanam."
"Something clearly did, everything was fine until a few days ago.
And now you're avoiding me, what was all that earlier today?"
"Sanam, I already told you that I don't want to talk about this."
"But I do, I deserve to know how you went from that to this." I said and
he finally looked at me, his eyes filled with tears.
"I am sorry for that." He
said referring back to the day where we went to the plot. "I forgot for a
moment that I could never be a good husband."
"Oh, and which one of your wives told you that?" I snapped.
"What?"
"Which one of your wives said that you can't be a good husband?
Because I know that I certainly didn't."
"I-" He started and then took a deep breath. "I know I can't be a
good husband, I am too...damaged Sanam, you deserve someone better, someone
without all this baggage, someone that will always
love you." He whispered.
"Why do you not have faith in yourself?" I whispered back. "I don't
want anyone else, I want you. You can
be a good husband; you already are Aahil." I said, and he was. Despite the
circumstances of our marriage initially he'd always looked out for me, he stood
up against his mother for me, he
bought me what I needed before I even knew I needed it, he was kind, he treated
my family like his own-
"I am realistic, even ammi knows that I can never be a good
husband." He said with a broken laugh.
"Your ammi said that to you?" I whispered, my heart breaking for
him, of course, he would believe whatever she said. But how could she say that
to her own son?
"She is right, I am not capable of this."
"Aahil." I whispered moving my hand from his shoulder so I could cup
his cheek. "Your ammi can tell you if you're a good son, and you are, but she
can't tell you if you're a good husband. Only I can, and believe me when I say
that you are."
"What if I hurt you? What if one day I don't want you anymore?
That's what I am like, I might like you now but what if I don't in the future?
I am just going to hurt you in the long run." He said, and he sounded so
sad.
"Do you really think that will happen Aahil?" I asked. Because I
knew it wouldn't, I could see it in his eyes, and even though he hadn't said
the three words, I knew that he loved me. He trusted me, he told me things that
he didn't share with another soul.
"I am not good for you." He said.
"You don't get to decide what's good for me and what's not, that's
my choice. And I know that you're good for me."
"Sanam, I-"
"You promised." I said. "On that night at the plot, you promised that you
wouldn't let your past interfere with our
present Aahil, and that's exactly what you're doing right now. You're not the
same person anymore Aahil. You won't hurt me intentionally, I know that, I believe that. And dwelling on the past
or the future isn't going to do us any good."
"But Sanam-"
"And you're crazy if you think I am going to leave you." I added,
because I wasn't. I loved him, I knew
that now, and there was no way in hell that I would leave him. "So stop pushing
me away because it hurts." I felt the tears stream down my own face. I could
see that his resolve was breaking, that he wanted this, that he wanted us.
"I am sorry." He whispered wiping away my tears.
"Are you going to push me away tomorrow?" I asked, just wanting to
make sure.
He shook his head. "No, I'll won't be able to." He admitted.
"Good." I said moving closer to him and curling myself beside him,
my hand moved between us and onto his chest, right over his heart. I smiled
when I felt him pulling me closer, his arms wrapping around me. I don't know
how he did but he somehow manoeuvred the blanket over the both of us. And for
the first time in months I fell asleep peacefully, with his arms wrapped around
me.
I awoke with a smile on my face the next morning but then I realized
that I could neither feel the weight of his arm on me nor feel his steady
heartbeat under my hand. I slowly opened my eyes to find his side of the bed
empty. I sat up and looked around the room but he was nowhere to be seen.
"Aahil?" I said out loud, but got no response.
I got up off the bed and walked towards the bathroom, but he wasn't
there either, the door was open and the bathroom was empty. I walked towards
the little dresser and noticed that his phone and wallet were still there, he
wouldn't have left without them. I was about to turn around when I felt two
arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I almost let out a scream but then I
looked up in the mirror and saw Aahil behind me, a smile on his face.
"Good morning." He whispered placing his chin on my shoulder, as his
arms tightened around my waist.
"You scared me." I said, my heart still hammering away in my chest,
both due to the scare and his proximity to me. He was completely pressed up
against me and my body always reacted to him when he was this close.
"Sorry." He laughed.
"Where'd you go?" I asked wondering what he was doing up so early. He
picked his chin off my shoulder and turned me around to face him. His arms
wrapped around my waist again and I smiled.
"Remember that I went to get you another surprise the other day?" He
asked and I nodded, he said he had another surprise for me before he left and
then he came back sad. "Well." He said unwrapping his arms from around me and
reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a little almost turquoise box causing
my eyes to widen, I knew it was a jewellery box, the type that rings came in.
He opened the box to reveal the prettiest ring I had ever seen, it
was simple and beautiful, with the front face covered in little diamonds. It was something I would pick out for myself rather than those big gaudy rings with huge diamonds. I looked
up at him with confusion.
"Our wedding...well it didn't happen the right way, I never got to
buy you a ring or put one on you, and I noticed the other day. When I saw this
I knew I had to get it for you." He said with a nervous smile on his face.
I felt my mouth open in shock as I looked towards him and the ring,
my heart melted in my chest. How could this man even think that he wasn't a
good husband? Who thought of things like this, things that would seem trivial
to everyone else. I stopped when I noticed that there was something scribbled
on the inside of ring. I think Aahil realized what I was looking at because he
smiled and took the ring out the box and showed me the inscription. I looked at
the inside of the ring and then up at him, I could feel the tears streaming
down my face already as he grabbed my left hand and slid the ring onto my ring
finger. It fit perfectly.
He brought his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him as
he wiped the tears away with his other hand. "I love you, Sanam." He said, with
so much conviction in his voice and sincerity in his eyes. He said the same
three words that were inscribed inside the ring, in his writing. I could feel the tears start again as I stood there, a
smile forming on my face. He finally said it.
"I love you too." I said between my tears and his face broke out
into the most beautiful smile I had ever seen before he pulled me into a tight
hug. His arms wrapped around my waist and mine went around his shoulder,
holding him as tight as I could. I willed the tears to stop, but they wouldn't,
I never understood how people could cry tears of happiness before but I knew
now. The feeling of happiness was too overwhelming.
"Hey, stop crying." He whispered as he pulled away and wiped my
tears again before placing a kiss on my forehead. I gave him a small smile.
"The inscription...it's in your writing?" I asked confused.
He nodded before explaining. "I had the option to write down what I
wanted on the paper, and then they scan it and engrave it in your writing."
"It's perfect." I smiled looking down at my ring.
"Just like my wife." He said causing me to giggle.
"I love you Aahil." I said looking at him, I could see the unshed
tears in his eyes too and at that moment I realized that no one could ever
break what we had, not even the two of us. He smiled caressing my face,
something he had taken to recently, and I loved it. My heart started hammering
in my chest as he moved in closer placing a kiss on my left cheek, my eyes
closed on their own accord, but I felt him move away and then place a kiss on
my right cheek. He then placed a kiss on my right eye followed by my left. I
let out a giggle when he kissed my nose. I opened my eyes too see that he was
smiling at me.
"You are so beautiful." He said and I felt my heart flutter as I
felt the heat rush up to my cheeks. "Now I need you to go get ready, I have
another surprise." He beamed.
"Another one?" I asked my eyes wide.
"Yes, another one." He said tapping my nose.
"But Aahil-"
"You'll like this one too." He smiled before pushing me towards the
bathroom gently. "Now go get ready."
"Where are we going?" I asked as we drove further and further from
the city, I was once again donned in a saree of his choosing, it was cream with
a goldish-silver border all around the edges, and a gold sleeveless blouse. It was
beautiful, just like everything else he had ever bought me. I was quite sure
that he liked me in sarees by now. This was the third one he had bought for me.
"I can't tell you, it's a surprise." He smiled causing me to roll my
eyes. We had all but snuck out of the house because he didn't want to be
stopped and he had turned off his phone and mine before we left. We had been
driving for about an hour now, the roads looked kind of familiar but then again
most roads looked the same to me.
"A hint?" I pleaded.
"We've been there before." He said with a smirk, he sounded so proud
of himself.
"What?" I asked confused. I could count on one hand the places we'd
been together and I didn't really remember driving this far with him other than
going to the plot. "Aaahill!" I whined causing him to laugh. It suited him,
he rarely ever laughed but when he did I felt my heart thump in my chest, his
laugh was beautiful.
"Patience Sanam, you'll find out soon enough." He said turning onto
a smaller road, which looked eerily familiar. And then it clicked.
"Allah Miyah! We're going to that farmhouse aren't we? The one we
came to see with Rehan and Nida." I
said the last name in obvious distaste.
He chuckled. "So we hate Nida and not any of my other friends?" He teased referring to the other girls in his life.
I nodded. "Obviously."
"And why exactly?" He asked, the curiosity evident in his voice as
he turned onto the driveway of the farmhouse.
"Because you were about to marry her." I murmured.
"Woah, wait a minute. You were
jealous of her?" He asked shocked and I nodded. "But I thought- but you didn't
even like me back then..."
"I don't know what it was actually..." I admitted and I didn't. "But
she annoyed me, and seeing you with her made me jealous which made me confused
to exactly why I was jealous."
"So it did work!" He laughed.
"What?" I asked confused.
"I only asked her to marry me because I thought you didn't have
feelings for me." He admitted confusing me even more.
"I am confused." I said as he pulled up in front of the pristine white
farmhouse and parked the car. Aahil got out of the car without answering my
question and came over to my side, opening the door for me before pulling me
out and closing it behind me. He pushed me against the car, his arms wrapping
around my waist as he explained.
"Remember when I asked you if you remembered anything about the
night when I saved you." He said, a look of pain flashing through his eyes. I
rested my hands on his chest and nodded. "And you said you didn't remember
anything, and it pissed me off because that night was so important to me."
"Huh?" I asked confused yet again.
"You clung to me that night Sanam, and I promised you that I'd keep
you safe. And something in me changed that night, maybe it was the fact that I
saved a life but then I realized it was because I saved your life. And I realized that I had feelings for you, that's why
you affected me so much." He admitted causing my eyes to widen in shock.
"You've loved me since then." I whispered in shock causing him to
nod.
"And you were completely oblivious." He said tapping my nose.
"I thought you hated me."
"I never hated you. I just
hated that you got to me, you stood up to me like no one else had the nerve to,
you struck the right or well wrong chords, you got under my skin and I hated
myself for it." He said.
"So that's why you seemed so angry to be marrying Nida." I
whispered. He pulled away from the car and took my hand, walking towards the
house and up the marble stairs. He didn't go inside the house like I thought he
would. He pulled me to the side, between the pillars in the area overlooking
the lawn. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me again, placing his
chin on my shoulder again as he spoke.
"I was standing right here, and the broker said something about this
being the perfect place to spend time with your family. And I remember looking
out and seeing you playing with all these children outside in the lawn, right
there on that slide." He said pointing towards the end of the lawn. "I was
completely mesmerized by you, and at that moment I could see us out there with our kids. And I bought
the house." He admitted as I stood there shocked, I didn't know this, I didn't
even realize that he liked me back then. I thought he had fallen in love with
me after we got married.
"Aahil." I whispered turning around in his arms to face him. I think
he understood what he was feeling because he smiled and placed a kiss on my
forehead.
"I've loved you for a long time Sanam Aahil Raza Ibrahim." He
whispered causing me to smile, I loved it when he said that. And a lot of
things made much more sense right then, his frantic worry, his drinking and
insistence that I never understood anything. I hugged him then, resting my head
over his heart.
"So, we're going to come here with our kids then." I mumbled
happily.
"Oh no, Faiz and Haya's kids." He teased laughing causing me to pull
away and blush.
"I meant our kids, even then, but I didn't know-"
"I knew you meant our kids Sanam." He teased with a smile on his
face.
"Good. Now can we go inside?" I teased and he laughed walking up to
the door and fishing for the right key in his keychain.
"Welcome to your farmhouse Mrs. Sanam Ibrahim." He said pushing the
door open. I looked at the house with different eyes this time, because it
wasn't the house that he was going to live in with her but rather the house that we would visit with our kids. The thought alone made me
giddy. He had made changes to the house already, it was impeccably decorated
now, I knew this was his doing due to the modern and edgy furniture. It went
well with the old, traditional look of the house. "I am guessing you don't need
a tour." He smiled taking my hand in his.
"Maybe I do." I said, I wanted to know exactly what he thought of
everything in the house.
"Well then, this is the main hall." He laughed. "And over there is
the kitchen, these are the stairs that lead upstairs." He said causing me to
laugh. He pulled me up the stairs and then to the right, opening the door to a
large sized room. "And this can be the room of one of our children. This one is
the biggest one, so I am guessing we can give it to the oldest one." He said.
"Oldest one? And how many kids are we planning on having?" I
laughed.
"A lot." He said, suddenly sounding sad. "A big, happy family - our
kids will play together, they'll be close in age and they'll always be happy. I
just hope I'll be a good father."
I looked at him and noticed how sad he looked right then, and
realized that this was probably what he wanted as a child. A happy loving
family, something he didn't have, something he craved. "You'll be an amazing
father Aahil." I reassured him.
"I just don't want to be like-"
"You're nothing like him Aahil, you could never be." I whispered,
voiding his fears of becoming like his father. He gave me a smile and then
pulled me over to the next room.
"This one could also be a kid's room!" He said before pulling me to
two larger doors. "And this, right in the middle of all the other rooms," he
said pushing the doors open, "is our room."
He said stepping inside.
The room was large, and had a lot of windows and a little step out
terrace to the side. There were closets to one side of the room, and another
set of doors that probably led to the bathroom. In the middle of the room was a
huge bed, not like the one at home, this one was wooden with an intricate
design that matched the dresser on the side of the room. And there was a little
fireplace across the bed, but there was enough room in between for a little
couch.
"It's so pretty." I smiled.
"It's all yours." He said. "Let me show you something." He said
pulling me towards the French doors that led out to the terrace. "Close your
eyes." He said and then I felt his hand cover my eyes as he navigated us
through the door. "Don't open them yet." He said removing his hand, I felt him
stand behind me and wrap his arms around me yet again, placing his hands flat
on the bare skin of my stomach under the saree pallu causing me to shiver.
"Okay, open them now." He whispered.
I slowly opened my eyes and gasped at the sight in front of me. We
were now at the back of the house, and behind the expanse of the backyard was a
lake surrounded by forest. I only say greenery as far as I could see, it was so
peaceful, so beautiful.
"I didn't even know this was here." I gasped. "It's so pretty." I
said.
"It is." He murmured placing a kiss on my shoulder. I put my arms on
top of his, which were wrapped around me as we stood there just taking in the
scenery. It felt peaceful, this farmhouse felt more like a home in the span of
the past hour than the Ibrahim mansion had ever felt. Or maybe it was due to
the fact that Aahil's arms were wrapped around me and I liked it. I let out a
content sigh melting back into his body.
Aahil turned me around to face him then, he looked as content as I
felt with that little smile he was sporting. He pushed my hair behind my ear
and then his hands trailed down my bare arms, and all of a sudden something in
the air changed. I definitely wouldn't have used the word peaceful right then,
more like charged. I don't know if it was the way that he was looking at me or
something else, but his eyes were suddenly darker and I felt my breath hitch in
my throat. His hands moved from my sides to the small of my back before he
pulled me closer to him. I felt my own hands grab the sides of his shirt as his
eyes flickered down to my lips. His eyes flashed back up to mine before he
started moving closer, and closer. My eyes closed as his lips touched mine for
the first time. And suddenly my hands were moving around his neck as our lips
moved, slowly at first, as if testing the waters. Then his hands started moving
on my back and something snapped, all of a sudden it felt as if this wasn't
enough. Our lips moved faster against each other, almost frenzied and his hands
cupped my face, I felt him bite my bottom lip and I let out a loud moan as his
tongue slid into my mouth, entwining with my own. I didn't realize that kissing
could feel this good, it was like my
whole body was tingling and I never wanted it to stop.
He pulled away a little allowing us both to catch our breaths, I
opened my eyes and looked into his only to be taken aback by how dark they
were, I felt my heart hammer in my chest. "I love you." He said, his voice
raspy and deep, that voice did something to me. And then he started trailing
kisses from my ear to my collarbone, I clutched the back of his head, my
fingers finding purchase in his soft hair as he wreaked havoc upon my body.
He trailed kisses down my neck, paying particular attention to the
side of my neck, where he was intent on leaving a mark with the way he was
biting and licking. "Aaahilll." I heard myself moan as he ran his teeth across
the spot. I decided that I'd had enough of his teasing, so I pulled his face up
and brought my lips to his apparently taking him by surprise, as evident
through his groan. I felt him turning us around and suddenly my back was pressed
against a wall and his lips were still moving against mine. His kisses left me
breathless, I didn't know what he was doing, he'd slow down one second and the
next second it was like we were fighting for dominance with our tongues
tangling.
I felt Aahil taking over all
my senses, his breath tasted minty and I could smell his cologne all around me,
that musky heady scent that filled the room every morning when he stepped out
of the shower. His hands were moving everywhere leaving a burning trail in its
wake and his occasional groans made the pit of my stomach clench painfully. He
pulled away again, taking in a deep breath as I did. He leaned his forehead
against mine, and I opened my eyes to see his smiling face. And I felt nervous
all of a sudden, I thought that was a good kiss, well kisses, but I didn't
really have much to compare it to, unless movies counted.
"Oh god Sanam, you're killing me." He groaned pecking my lips again.
"In a good way?" I whispered sounding insecure to even my own ears.
"Ah, you crazy woman. In the best way, that one kiss blows
everything else out of the water." He replied pecking my lips again causing me
to smile. "I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." I smiled back as he pulled me into a hug, I don't
think I'd ever felt more content than I did at that moment.
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