Track: Taming the Shrew - Take 6 Parent's Effect on Child Behavior

anonee

@anonee

IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 9 years ago

Track: Taming the Shrew - Take 6 Parent's Effect on Child Behavior

I know you all are with me on this one - a parent has tremendous effect on a child' behavior.

Children are like sponges - they model everything a parent (or an adult family member like grandparent, uncle, aunt, etc) does and incorporate what they see into their own lives. It is important that parents set the right example.

Ayaan is no exception. We saw how Anuja's negative example had a detrimental effect on Ayaan and lead to bad, nay dangerous behavior.

Veer's stressed out response towards Ayaan at the peak of the fight between Ayaan and Rhea too affected Ayaan in a deep way.

But there is a world of a difference in the effects that the behavior of Anuja and that of Veer had on Ayaan.

Anuja instigated antisocial behavior in Ayaan, she filled his mind with distrust towards Rhea, Pakhi and Veer.

Veer on the other hand was dealing with the shock that Ayaan would go to the extreme of causing a fire (even though it was brought under control) and with the inability to exert control over the two quarreling kids (yeah - Rhea was behaving like a ten year old and not like a college teen). In an effort to regain control over a situation that was deteriorating rapidly he yelled at Ayaan and pushed him away from Rhea. No doubt he used more than an excess of force - but under the circumstances it was understandable ... immediately to Pakhi. (And the later to Ayaan - with some guidance from Pakhi). Veer regained his cool right after his act - and tried to reach out to Ayaan immediately.

Pakhi took a positive approach to disciplining Ayaan. Luckily Ayaan could not stay long away from her and reached out to her. She took this opportunity to explain to him that Rhea was not responsible for placing the cigarettes in his school bag. She also made Ayaan realize that PakhVeer love both him and Rhea equally.

Most importantly, Pakhi made Ayaan realize how wrong his behavior had been and that even when stressed out Veer's love for Ayaan did not change.

Rhea reacted to everything in her usual way which is to hold Veer responsible and taunt him for getting her to come and live with them in order to get custody of Ayaan. Remember she blames Veer for everything that has happened in her life - including the trauma of being left an orphan. It is all about her childhood and her parents leaving her. In her mind Veer is a poor substitute.

I personally think Veer did a terrific job in controlling the fire and in separating the two kids. At that time they were totally out of control and a stern voice was needed to stop the quarreling.

The next day, Veer was super calm, and said all the right things to Rhea. I think he gifted a car and driver because there was no way she would take a ride from him or from one of Pakhi's chauffeurs.

This is my take - feel free to comment and write your opinion of the situation.

Edited by anonee - 9 years ago

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Vinnie79

@Vinnie79

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 9 years ago

Wonderful post. Very true parents do have an effect on the child's behavior.   Now in the heat of the moment when you have two bickering   children at one point you want it to stop.
Now in this situation... We have a grandmother,   who should be a responsible adult, influencing this   impressionable child in all types of negative behavior, and even criminal acts. Arson... fighting.
Tainting his innocent mind with feeling of hatred towards his own parents.
    Aayan was upset, but he was cooling himself in the study until she came and literally lit that fire under him.
Now Ria. did honestly put in alot of work   on her designed so her reaction as seeing her   all night hard work going up in flames   sent her hot under the color, and since she is already a high strung problem child she was out for blood.   AAyan   was the   adding   fewul to that, while Anuja   stood back and enjoyed the fire works . Leaving Veer and Paakhi   the confused set trying to defuse the situation!
Veer lost his cool for a moment and took it out on AAyan , 1. Aayan was responsible. and 2   noether kid was listening to a word the adults were saying.
Te aftermath of the entrie situation, every one excpet   queen bee was happy in te house and no one was eating. Veer was beating him self up but he also made a profound realization I think is key, when he said   he did not want his situation with ria be the cause to Aayan's -Paakhi's   rift. A point where i think they realized that   they need to also pay equal attention to   Aayan as well.
Paakhi in her wisdom explained it   beautifully   to her son, who despite Anuja's best efforts still has an innocent heart.
The make up scene between ND and Aayan was cute and touching and it goes to show that love has a stronger influence than hate. Both apologised and lived through thier first disagreement as father and son, which was bound to happen one day!
(Except in the special case of Problem child who it seems hate has a stronger influence   than love on her !)

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shanaya28

@shanaya28

IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 9 years ago

Definitely parents are their children strongest role model and greatest influence ... children often adopt their parents values and types of behaviour..positive or negative children always see their parents as an example the way life is to be lived..

Every family has problems and be it the children or parents they do mistakes..the most important factor is how you handle the situations and be honest in accepting the mistakes..we saw a big example of that in the Epi how Pakhi handle the situation and how Veer also realises his mistake in the heat of the moment scolding and pushing Ayaan..

Pakhi explaining Ayaan without raising her voice but in a lovely way about Veer and Rhea..how parents love their children equally..this is good sign of good upbringing..Veer also did not feel low as a father to ask Sorry to his son ...

In the end we could see how understanding and good upbringing of Pakhi..Veer was of great help for them as parents to overpower the hatred of Anuja to drift apart their family...

Edited by saveeta24 - 9 years ago

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anonee

@anonee

IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 9 years ago

Vinnie and Saveeta

Thank you for insightful comments.

I apologize I could not respond earlier as it was a busy day.

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payal7

@payal7

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

I completely agree with you that children reflect the behavior of their parents.

The one things that parents must do is to set boundaries for their children. What I saw in Tuesday's episode made me think that that is what Veer has not done with Rhea. There is no way any child should be physical with their parent no matter how angry they are.The way Reha pushed him he almost loses his balance which is some force!!!! That can never be right.

Yes Aayan was at fault and what he did (setting a light the designs) was extremely dangerous and they were shocked but Veer should have raised his voice and tell them both to stop and be quite. He cannot continually say nothing to Rhea.

Just my opinion, no offence intended.

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Vinnie79

@Vinnie79

IF-Rockerz

Posted: 9 years ago

This content was originally posted by-payal7
I completely agree with you that children reflect the behavior of their parents.

The one things that parents must do is to set boundaries for their children. What I saw in Tuesday's episode made me think that that is what Veer has not done with Rhea. There is no way any child should be physical with their parent no matter how angry they are.The way Reha pushed him he almost loses his balance which is some force!!!! That can never be right.

Yes Aayan was at fault and what he did (setting a light the designs) was extremely dangerous and they were shocked but Veer should have raised his voice and tell them both to stop and be quite. He cannot continually say nothing to Rhea.

Just my opinion, no offence intended.

I   agree with   the bold underlined statement   100 % . Turning a blind eye on her   rude and ill behaviour towards those   older than her... ( forget her father..)
I grew up   and I think most of us did , being rude would earn us some form of punishment.
Right now the situation is that   it has gotton out of hand ...and AAYan is right when he said she is doing wrong but goes unpunished, while he is the   one thy try to correct. As he told Veer the day Ria   broke his tablet.   He very well knows you do wrong you get punishment!!!

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anonee

@anonee

IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 9 years ago

This content was originally posted by-payal7
I completely agree with you that children reflect the behavior of their parents.

The one things that parents must do is to set boundaries for their children. What I saw in Tuesday's episode made me think that that is what Veer has not done with Rhea. There is no way any child should be physical with their parent no matter how angry they are.The way Reha pushed him he almost loses his balance which is some force!!!! That can never be right.

Yes Aayan was at fault and what he did (setting a light the designs) was extremely dangerous and they were shocked but Veer should have raised his voice and tell them both to stop and be quite. He cannot continually say nothing to Rhea.

Just my opinion, no offence intended.

Payal - please be assured I do not take any offence when others express their viewpoints. I want you to know I truly ENJOY reading your comments.

You have a very good ability of analyzing situations and I love your posts because there is always something new in them. It helps me know what I overlooked and understand better the dynamics of the situation.

You are right - it is very important to set boundaries for children. And yes, Rhea is beyond anger and hatred - to physcially push a parent with that intensity is a glimpse of a budding violent tendency.

I agree Veer needs to exert his authority over Rhea and let her know there are some rules that she needs to follow.

I am willing to grant Veer a little leeway simply because - it appears from his conversations with Pakhi that he has not lived with Rhea in a very long time. Suddenly he is finding he is living with an adult who is angry and has very fixed negative views about him. This is all new to Veer. Over and above he is dealing with the court orders which may result in Pakhi losing Ayaan. This is a complex situation for any adult. He is learning to know Rhea and the extent of her animosity towards him - and so he is a bit slow in formulating a plan to execute his parental authority and discipline Rhea.

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anonee

@anonee

IF-Sizzlerz

Posted: 9 years ago

Vinnie

thank you for the comment.

I agree Ayaan is right that Rhea is getting away with bad behavior.

On the other hand PakhVeer are on the learning curve of getting to understand Rhea and formulate a plan to handle her without setting her off into a violent spree.

Focusing on her talents and encouraging her to pursue them is a healthy outlet for her emotions and will keep Rhea's mind occupied. However that plan of PakhVeer is being sabotaged by Anujs's antics. Sometimes I wonder who is the kid on the show. Anuja or Rhea-n-Ayaan

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