Posted:
Hey guys! Shocked to see a post from me? Well, I am too. Although I am posting this topic in the Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya Forum, this post is for all my friends. Why? Because the message I want to convey, should be heard by everyone. So these past two or three weeks, I have been getting pms/scraps regarding my changed behavior and how I am not the same anymore. Well these accusations are right. Before summer break started, I was this happy and nautanki wali girl. After summer break came, people started noticing that I was changing and that I was becoming rude and akdu at times. I don't know what has happened to me guys. I feel like I am under a lot pressure and that I will break any moment. Me, a girl that is never open about her true feelings and always masks her problems with happiness, broke down in front of two of my closest friends on IF a few days ago. I am ashamed of myself that I actually broke down because I know that people on this forum hate negative and sad feelings. I am really sorry that you had to see that side of me but I am so confused and torn apart. I feel like I am heading nowhere and that everything is so complicated. I used to come to IF for stree relief but now IF has become one of my stresses. I hate feeling so vulnerable and I know I am talking nonsense but you guys need to give me a chance to become myself again. I don't know how or when I started changing but each day I wake up in the morning feeling like crap. I would come to IF and just randomly start spamming and chatting with people in different chat clubs. I would try to be a nautanki and bring myself back but I keep failing. Commitments. I have so many but I am failing to complete them. I have reserved on a lot of fan fictions but I don't unres because I feel like crap and my head doesn't concentrate. I am writing my own stories btu I rarely update them because I can't write with everything going on in my mind. I am in two newsletter teams but I sometimes fail to send my entries in. I used to be that person who would do anything for you but now I am so late that it is pointless. In short, I need your help guys. I need you guys to support me. I need you guys to push me and nag me to become the person I once used to be. I am sorry for all the things that have happened these last few weeks. Please forgive me. Another thing is that a lot of people have been complaining that I don't come on IF during the weekends. Guys this isn't my fault because I usually don't have access to my laptop on the weekends. Why? Because I am usually at parties and that is why, I only have my phone. Most people must know that IF is a pain when you are on your phone, that is why I don't come that often. If you want to contact me and chat with me then you can on FB. You can tell me and I will tell my account to you. One last thing, this is the first and last time, I have opened up to all my friends and please don't judge me because of my confession. I am sorry once again and I hope I will have your support.
Thanks,
Ash
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