As I was reading through the first half of this brilliantly written piece, I could feel the hate emanating from him, his words, his actions and seeping through my mind, making me enter this zone, where only thinking about being face to face with the one person in his life who had shaped, and moulded the man he was today, the way he perceived the world and its people, makes me feel dazed with shock and sadness. Sadness because, I could imagine in his eyes, a yearning for her affection veiled by all that anger. Then moving on to her, I unknowingly find myself comparing as to whose pain would be more and find myself without no answers. Coming to her, I could imagine the range of emotions flitting across her eyes (solely because of your wonderfully detailed, descriptive and thought triggering writing ) as her past actions, their probable aftermath flooded her mind, and then the hate for herself when she saw the damage she had inflicted upon him - I don't think anyone else could have done more justice to this tragic dynamic of their relationship than what you have done today, my friend.
And as the story moved along, I could feel the hate, the anger - all of it slowly pace out into something more hopeful, more peaceful. Be it the sentence where you mention the clouds shrivelling up, or the love that is still trying to find its way through the heaps of hate.
Amazing, amazing work Rae!
P.S: Don't know why, but I feel really proud of you today!
- Edit: just want to point out I'm second *cool face*
Also, this is exactly how I want Mala too feel! She has to realise the severity, the deep wound she has inflicted on him. (And although in the show they have 'shown' it, it hasn't satisfied me)
The transformation from hate to love was beautiful, a whimpering and wilting flower at the hands of the sun, almost a contradiction to his character. Like ice melts into water-- he too melted and what once started off with such angst ended in peace, just like the emotion. She robbed him and herself----- the paragraph at the end was the nail in the coffin and it was wonderful! Very proud. The transition that you did was absolutely flawless, I loved it.
This isn't the first time I've read your work and I have to say you manage to impress me every time. Well done Rae, this was an extravagant piece.
Cannot wait for tomorrow's segment. Edited by curledup - 2014-05-31T11:00:44Z
With each and every installment, this forum's writers just make me want to mouth that word over and over again.
Rae, this was unbelievably brilliant. And it just made me immensely in awe of you.
The scene, when his anger, his hatred is being described. I saw it all with wide eyes as I read on. It was as if the hatred was seeping out from my laptop screen, and I was puzzled for a few moments, as to how will you turn this turmoil... this rage... this unbridled anger into something called peace.
When Mala felt the hatred for herself, my heart wrenched in pain, for that was how I see her. For that was a really natural reaction of a mother who finally realizes she is the destroyer of her own off-spring. Who realizes it is too late to salvage the most precious bond know to mankind...
And then, his slow cries and Paro's soothing voice. I was reminded of the recent scene when he cries in her lap... How she soothes him as if thats what she was made for.
Aaah! Brilliant I say!
And then finally... It slowly seeps into you as it seeps into Mala... That her child is in better hands... So what if she damaged him, he has finally found someone who has repaired him... A mother, who thanks the lord that her child has found trust... found love again...
I really liked that you focused on Mala's remorse for her acts. There is no explanation of her reasoning as yet, maybe there will never be. However, her love for her son is clear and she wants what every mother wants for their child, love, contentment happiness, success in their child's life. She feels the peace of knowing that someone can bring that to her child.