I am a new member on IF, stumbled across RR fanfics a few weeks back and hooked on RR forum since then. There are so many wonderful writers here who are very inspiring- currently going through napstermonster, senbonzakura and zara's works. Simply beautiful!
I have decided DH is getting frozen food till i catch up with all the other wonderful writers' ffs as well.
This is my first attempt at writing anything creative, i am sure there's a lot of room to improve... Would love to read what you think of it, and if its worth continuing, or if i should stop it as an OS.
Confession: i don't speak hindi very well.(yet )
I have bravely attempted some lines in Hindi, pls.correct/have a good laugh
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. It's just a fanfic based on Rangrasiya show on Colors tv.
"I cannot ..." , Paro shook her head furiously, willing him to fathom the rest of her unspoken agony. She had to leave; how could she not, after his right hand rose to wipe away her tears! He did not need her now. Ab to unki haath poori tarah theek ho gayi!
The revelation of his past with Laila was not too surprising to her, given the woman had come at her with a knife before. And in fact, it gave her the perfect cover to wrench herself away from him.
"Major Saab, mhaare ko jaana hai, bas! Mein aapko chod rahi hoon!" He froze, staring at her retreating form in disbelief. The words that he had always feared he would hear from her were a reality now.
"I was never Laila's" , He entreated her.
She knew that. The sheen of his unshed tears was almost her undoing. She almost ran back to him, wanting breathe him in, wanting to feel his arms safely around her, one last time. Her heart already heavy, felt leaden. But she steeled herself; she had to go. Keep her promise to Him. Keep him safe.
She just hoped his bruised ego and anger would give her the headstart she needed to disappear from his life.
As she stepped out of the haveli, she was fingering his Rudraksh on her wrist, contemplating whether to keep it or not. she decided it was one concession she would allow herself to get through the endless days.
Here's the next part - thanks much for all the encouragement! All the wonderful writers on the forum have my renewed admiration. This is so much hard work for me, since creative writing doesn't come naturally. Sorry the story is so slow, but after this, i am planning to have only one more chapter for this story... Let me know what you liked/didn't like about it! Now i am off to read and enjoy other people's Rudra and Paro!
Rudra shook himself out of the stupor he was in, when he saw Parvati leaving... He almost threw her over his shoulder to bring her back in, but her determined eyes gave him pause. Her defeated look tore at him. It was almost as if an invisible hand was dragging her away from him. His mind raced: she didn't even wait for him to give her a complete account; didnt give him a chance to declare himself to her... She just upped and left.
He would have to find out why she was really leaving him. He refused to believe that she, who accepted all his flaws and forgave his more heinous transgressions, was leaving him over a past mistress. Rudra's inhuman self-control was the only thing that stopped him from rushing after her openly. He had done this before. He became her shadow the minute she left for the bus stop, and till she reached her destination. It was as if she knew exactly where to go...where to get the bus ticket for... like it was a deliberate ploy to go away!
Aman was surprised to see Parvati at his doorstep, so late. He looked over her shoulder, bewildered that she came alone at this hour. "Parvati, tum theek ho? Kya hua, itni raat gaye yahan kya kar rahi ho?"
"Sab kuch toot gaya bhai sa..."<Everything's broken> Aman wouldnt have minded putting a bullet through Rudra's head right then. Parvati was quick to defend him though - "unki koi galathi nahin hai."<it's not his fault>
The next day, when Aman looked at her haggard face and red rimmed eyes, he ventured to ask "Sir ne kuch daanta tumhe? Unhe phone karoon?" <Did sir scold you? Do you need me to call him?>
"Kuch aisi baat nahin hai bhai-sa, mujhse bas wahan se jaana tha; jab thak case chal raha hai, unko meri jaroorat hai. Mein yahaan apne bhai ke ghar tab tak tho ruk sakthi hoon?" <Nothing of the sort. I just needed to get away from there; hope i can stay with you brother, till the case is complete>
Aman immediately said she didn't have to ask him that, and he was his sister the minute she said her name was Parvati, all those days ago. "Aap unse nahin kahenge ki mein yahaan hoon. Vaada keejiye, varna abhi chali jaoongi." <i need your word that you wont tell him that i am here, else i am leaving>. His quick agreement pacified her for now.
When Aman saw Rudra later that morning, he appeared calm and detached,not at all like a man who's just had his world ripped apart. He was neither frantic nor angry; the furniture appeared intact, and in fact, there wasn't a single alcoholic drink in his office!
Aman almost lost it then; Parvati's pitiful state flashed before his eyes and here Rudra wasn't even bothered to find out where Paro was. "I know she is safe with you." Rudra looked at Aman.
"Sir, you may be my superior, but she is my sister, if you've wronged her, God help you then!"
Rudra shook with hollow laughter- "kisi ko nahin chodthi, woh? Sabko apna bana gayi! Furious as I am that she came to you, she couldn't have chosen a safer place to go. Two BSD officers are watching over her. And... after she comes back, Paro would have my head if she finds out I've been drinking, so...no more drinks Aman! She would get upset about the furniture too."
His boss truly appeared pitiful now... he didnt realize Rudra of all people, would be so whipped. His earlier anger towards Rudra vanished. "Sir, she seems quite determined to leave for Jaipur after the case is complete." Rudra scoffed, "Well now, we won't let that happen, will we?"
Just then Rudra got a phone call from one of the officers guarding Paro; "Sir Parvati madam to shiv mandir jaa rahi hai, bas woh abhi andar jaa rahi hai."<Parvati madam is in the shiv temple>
"Pagal ladki, kitni baar samjhaoon ki kahin akele na jaaye! "<crazy girl! How many times have i asked her not to go by herself> Rudra and Aman rushed to the temple, to see her deep in conversation with the priest; she didn't see either of them aproaching her...
Pandithji was beseeching, "Beti, ye tumne kya kiya? Sach me apne pati ko chod diya? Shivji kabhi aise maang nahi karenge! Jo apne bachon ko dukh deta ho, aise shapath shivji kabhi nahi manenge. Apni iss zidd ko chodo." <panditji outraged that Paro really left her husband. Lord Shiva would never demand such an oath from his devotees, he asks Paro to not be so obstinate.>
Rudra was stunned speechless. She left him, so he could live- atleast that was her way of thinking... She didn't even pause to think about herself, her safety, her future. He knew she loved him, but to be so selfless in love? He didn't deserve her, not a bit, but by some stroke of fate, she was his. And he intended to keep it that way.
"Aman, I need your help." Aman was only too happy to hear that...
Here's the final part.
pls review and comment!
thank you @_SenbonZakura_ for helping out with hindi in a particularly tricky part.
She waited; for what, she wasn't sure. This deep restlessness was gnawing at her. Why was she unable to even think of a future without him? No matter how many times throughout the day she tried to think of what awaited her in Jaipur after the case, she drew a blank. She knew she could easily make a living with her skill at exquisite workmanship, but beyond that, she couldn't even dwell on it. her thoughts inadvertently strayed to him... Would he have eaten? Taken his medicines? Why couldnt she concentrate on anything else?
When Aman returned, his face looked drawn. When Paro asked, he simply handed her suitcase full of her clothes. Rudr knows you are here, he just sent you all your belongings. Paro was taken aback, she couldn't believe he knew she was here, and didnt come to try and drag her back to him, like he always did. lost in her thoughts, she opened her box, and began taking out her clothes... She was saddened to think that Rudra's kurtas will no longer float next to her lehengas... She sees a flash of Rudra's blue bandhni kurta, that she wore during her initial days in the haveli, and her eyes well up instantly... How did she think she could survive without him? Her knees buckle and she is on the floor, pressing her face into the blue kurta, her cries not polite, not soundless. The pain was almost physical. When did she give him such power over herself?
After she composed herself, Paro started to put rest of the clothes away, when she noticed a beautiful green lehenga at the bottom of the suitcase. It was not hers... Jija's? No, she never had anything this festive. It was Laila's probably! "kya!! Bas ek din bhi hua nahi, aur Laila ke kapde hamare almarih mein!"[it has scarcely been a day, and Laila's clothes are in my armoire already?]
"Acha hi hai, abhi woh unka khayal rakhegi" [good thing, now she'll take care of him] she tried to convince herself... why was she feeling so furious though? She was shaking like a leaf! He's mine, mine alone! No! What was she thinking? It was not like she had any claim over him now. She had left him, had she not? But she couldn't get that green lehenga out of her thoughts. Was she really so insignificant in his life, so replaceable? She was furiously rolling his Rudraksh between her fingers. Paro cooked and cleaned till Aman had food to feed a small bsd unit and his home shone like one of those mirrors on her ghaghras.
Outside, Aman was beside himself. Sir, do you think this will work? Kuch jyaada tho nahi kar liya? [was it too much, did we take things too far?]. She seems really upset that you've sent all her clothes. "No Aman, I've found that her fury is more benign than her tears. her anger affects her thinking, whereas her tears affect mine." Rudra left for the haveli and waited.
Her anger didn't abate even after all the chores she did ... She needed to give him the lehenga anyway. And she needed to give a good piece of her mind to the jallad before she left. Again. So thinking, she reached the haveli, and went to their, no - his bedroom. She saw him by the table, looking, no, stalking her with his eyes. Before she lost her train of thought altogether, she said, "Mujhe gaye hue do din bhi nahi hue, aur yahan Laila ke ghaghre tak aa gaye. Koi baat nahi, ye lijiye uske kapde galti se mere saman mein aapne bhej diya. Saayad aap usi ko..."
[it hasn't even been a couple of days, already Laila's ghaghras have found a way in here... No worries, here is one of her's ... You sent it with my clothes by mistake. Probably you and her...]
She couldn't finish, she was shaking too much.
Rudra didnt hear a word of what she said... She was in flight mode ever since she came in and flung the green one at him and said her piece. She took off then towards the door, and Rudra very nearly lost it. His eyes spitting embers, he strode to her in three large steps, caught her arm and roughly folded her into his embrace. "Kahan bhaag rahi hai ab?"[where are you running off to now?]
"Tune mujhe de diya, maine nahin. Tu meri hai. Tune kyaa socha... Agar tu mujhe chod ke chali jaegi, Main kuch nahin karoonga? Bas chup chap rahoonga? Ek bar chod ke chali gayi aur maine jane diya, kyon ki pata na tha tere dil mein kya chal raha tha... Usi mein ye maan le ki tera vachan poora hua. Tu ne ye toh naa vachan diya tha ki agar mein aakar le jaaoon, to tu nahi aayegi?"
[You may have given me away, but I have not given you away. What did you think, that I wouldn't come after you? i wasn't sure what was going through that head of yours(after he reveals about himself and Laila)... Now I do know why. Yes, you've left me once and consider your oath fulfilled. Now, i hope you haven't promised your Lord that you would not come back, if I came for you, have you now?(sarcastic)]
As Paro stupidly watched him throughout his tirade, suddenly his eyes filled, uncertainty writ large in them - "I cannot do life without you Paro, the last time just about killed me. Aage tumhari marji." [after that, it's your choice] His right hand started shivering then, and he dropped his embrace and took a couple of steps back, astonished that he was able to say all these out loud to her. He went and stood blocking the doorway just in case Paro came to her senses and left him again.
Paro's gaze trailed him and stopped at his shivering hand; she came out of her dazed state then, "Major saab, you haven't taken your medicines and your hand is shaking" she finished in a near shout. Then she took to the task of force-feeding him his medicines and food, which she discovered he had not eaten since she left.
Paro then asked him, "Tho phir aap chahte hain ki mein aap hi ke saath rahoon hameshaa"[so, you want me with you forever and always]. Rudra looked at her disdainfully, "Dobaara woh sab nahin kahunga. Ek baar keh diya bas. Itna hi manaana aatha hai."[I'm not going to say it all again, once was hard enough!]
Paro's voice was deathly calm when she spoke next. "Bas ek baath, Major Saab. Woh hara ghagra hamare kapdon mein kaise?"[just one more thing Major Saab! What was the green lehenga doing amidst my clothes?]
Rudra was looking anywhere but at her... "Woh ghagra tho maine tere liye... Jaipur mein li thi... Kabhi dene ka mauka hi nahi mila. Aur mere kapdon ke saath rakh diya, na jaane woh tumhare paas kaise aa gaya!" [I bought it for you in Jaipur, but never actually got around to giving it to you,i had it on my side of the armoire, am not sure how it found its way among your clothes]
Parvati saw right through him, he planted it in her clothes, so she would come goaded by the green eyed monster.
Hmph, she sounded digruntled; obviously she wasn't too pleased having been bested by him.
Rudra was so contrite, he thought "chalo, khatam karo ab ye"
He asked, "Is baar hara ya laal?" [what is it going to be this time? Green or yellow?]
Paro smiled, "Kya?" [what?]
Rudra reluctantly smiled back, "Kaun si rang ki choodiyan Paro?[bangles, Paro? Which color?]
Paro broke into a grin so wide, that his bruised heart was warmed by it.