Had some random thoughts about today's episode when Rudra told Paro that he had forgiven her, and he wants her to leave. I thought about a whole new scenario, just wanted to share with all you wonderful people!
OS Meant to be
"I give you forgiveness, for everything, now will you go?" asked a drained out Rudra. He was tired, he wanted her out of his sight, out of his mind. He didn't want to fight anymore, he wanted some peace from the inner battle between his heart and mind. She was driving him crazy. It was getting very difficult for him to think straight.
"You really want me to leave..."Paro said almost on the verge of crying.
Rudra could not show the slightest bit of sympathy and he was adamant. He wanted her out of his life therefore, he would make sure that she knows it.
"Yes, how many times should I tell you, I can write it down in a piece of paper and you can read it again and again." Showing his agitation while screaming at her. Part of his agitation was because he was hurting Paro, he hated hurting her, God knows why, doesn't she deserves it, every bit of pain?
No she doesn't. He knew it when he looked into her eyes. Her eyes were the reflection of her emotions. He can never forget her eyes when she was proclaiming her love for him in front of the whole BSD unit, how happy they were, and consequently, when she told him about the guriya being hers, how excited they were. Then later, those eyes had nothing but reverence for him when she told him to put sindoor and make her his. The eyes would tell him everything. Why? He didn't want to understand their language then why, every time he looks into Paro's eyes he forgets about what he wants. Nothing matters except those hazel orbs. Why does he gets comfort in those expressive eyes and why does he know that these eyes would never lie?
No, he has to remain firm on his path. He would not risk his peace of mind because of those damned eyes. The war between his heart and his mind has to end. He wants his mind to be victorious. For that Paro has to leave..
"Ok I will leave." Paro said it in a whisper.
Did he hear her right, did she say she was going to leave him. She was going to leave him, he should be happy, that's what he wanted, to be left alone in his own purgatory. But, now when she willingly said she is leaving then, why is it difficult for Rudra to accept. She said she was leaving, but how could she leave him? Doesn't she love him anymore? Rudra didn't know where his thought process was going. He was literally in hell, he couldn't decide whether he was happy or sad or both.
"I will leave you only because you asked me to leave, that does not mean I will stop loving you. I will always love you, for me, you are my soul mate, one and only, no one else can take your place, keep that in mind."
Rudra was astonished, how did she know what he was thinking, she was answering the question he thought about in his mind.
"But I have one condition," Paro said haltingly.
'Condition, so she has a condition, maybe she wants to get married first, hell no! She is not getting married to me, I will not marry her, and nobody can force me to marry anyone. But wasn't I almost married to her, I had even accepted it as fate, a few days ago, when she was being mule headed and not signing those papers, and we have already done so many rasams, does that count?' He didn't reply, his mind was working overtime.
Paro continued, "Just give me 30 days, I am only asking for 30 days, then I will leave forever. I promise I will not ask you for anything, only to take care of bapusa. In these 30 days I will try my best to help him heal. I want him to be healthy, the way he was before..." She didn't have to continue, Rudra knew what she wanted to say.
Rudra was confused, he was so sure that Paro would ask him to marry her. He had already prepared a speech to give it to her in this short time, but she is asking for 30 days. Should he give it to her, she is not asking for any commitment, what if she had it all planned, what if she would do something to manipulate the situation. It won't be the first time, that's what all beautiful women are capable of.
"Don't worry, I will not ask you to marry me, you already know how I feel about you. I will not repeat it again. This time I only want to see bapusa well and leave this house without the any tarnish. I have seen how agonizing the whole marriage thing is for you. I don't like to see you this way. Believe it or not I care about you. You don't accept things the way I do and I can't force you, if Bholenath, has shown me the way, he is going to show you the path himself. I am going to leave everything up to him, I trust him. And if that doesn't happen then I would accept that we were not meant to be."
Again, she answered his question, he was sure he did not say it loud, 'then how does she know every time, is it because she says we are soul mates, but that doesn't make sense, she is nothing, she a nobody, He doesn't care about her or does he? But did she say she will leave him forever, forever is a long time, will he never see her again? But does he wants to see her again?' What is wrong with him, on one hand he wants her to leave him, on the other hand, he is brooding over her and she hasn't even left him.
"Although you have forgiven me for everything, but I still want to prove that it was not me who put fire in bapusa's room. I know you want nothing to do with it, but for my sake, give me a chance to prove that I am not what you think I am." Paro said it in a halting voice.
Then she looked straight into his eyes and asked,"So will you let me stay for 30 days?"
Paro was waiting for an answer, her big doe eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. Rudra couldn't think. Should he allow her to stay? She wants to prove that she was not responsible for the fire. But it was her doing, Sunheri saw her, why would Sunheri lie?
Rudra wanted to say no, the only logical answer, but he nodded his head in affirmation. Immediately he realized his mistake, did he just said yes to her? He has definitely lost his marbles. He had no control over his heart, but now his mind is also playing games with him.
It was not Rudra's fault, he didn't know that he had no choice. It was predestined, he can control his emotions and torture himself but he cannot fight divine powers.
Paro knew it, she knew Rudra would say yes, he was helpless. Doesn't he know that Bholenath has written her name with Rudra, their story is about to start. It would only end with them being together. Paro knew she couldn't force Rudra to accept her. She knew how angry he gets every time she mentions sindoor or marriage or love. So she decided the only way to calm him would be to stay in this haveli with his consent and show him how much he means to her. If he allowed her to live with him for a few days, she knows she will convince him of her love. She had already given her words and somewhere in his brains, he knows what Paro feels for him, but now the time has come to show him that all his sufferings are over. He is free from all the burden, he can love, he can laugh, and he can live his life without the shadow of the darkness of his past. She will help him forget his past. He has a right to all the happiness in the world. Paro would give him that. She will convince him, she has faith. Faith in her love for him and faith in her Bholenath to show they are meant to be together forever.
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My other OS Stubborn Rudra
