this time I have tried to write a story from paro's point of view. and this is my version of paro, who is made of same flesh and blood as we are of. she also imagines, dreams. and responds to rudra's attractiveness and succumbs to physical passions and desire. I refuse to imagine her as a christian saint,always afraid of her sexuality. she is innocently adventurous,demurely bold and passionately curious, about this new awakening of feelings in her mind and body regarging rudrr. she is to me, the mythological goddess Parvati who also an innocent virgin maiden, never felt shy to express her love and desire blatantly towards Mahadev ! so,as i hav said, it is my POV, feel free to differ !
Piya bawari : [ part 1]
How can he even ask me something so downright revolting ?
i said i could go to any extent to prove my innocence to earn his forgiveness...and I was honest,I would have happily laid down my life at his feet...i would have happily bestowed myself to him ... all he had to do was ask . and yet what did he ask from me ? marry that slimeyball with toad eyes and greasy fingers whose mere mention gives me repulsion...and be gone from his house,from his life forever.this is my only way to rise again in his eyes. Liar ! big fat liar ! oh ok in his case, tall, masculine liar ! if he is that eager to get rid of me, why his eyes are so mournful while saying that? he eyes always contradict with the nonsense he speaks,I have noticed that long before...i was foolish when i thought that he would really burn my vilaage to death if i dare to commit suicide... ... he never ever harms an innocent man, he only said that to prevent me doing something absolutely foolish.Oh how he had startled me on those initial days at that dreadful chamber, with his frightning aggresive moves, his thunderous voice and his wide fiery eyes but now I know they were pantomimes, meant to frighten me into submission,never to hurt physically.
I have learnt to face and challenge him nd heck, even beat him if I am lucky in this peronal game of ours.And see, he has become somuch addicted with it he immediately comes off with a new one,bearely giving me time to catch my breath.same now,again! marry sumer or be off from this haveli.Marry sumer, my foot ! .I have made my resolve...neither I will move out of his house nor from his life.Yes, if he is muleheaded, I am too ! hey bholenath, yeh maare sath kya horaha hai...I never knew I could be so obstinate, so brave before meeting him...it must be his bad influences rubbing off me... '' jallad kahika''!I blush unknowingly as I guess he actually enjoys being called jallad. Even on that mehendi night he was mischievous enough to ask If I would prefer a ''J'' imprinted in my palm instead of his ''R'' .Even a few months before a mere bad dream used to frighten me senseless, now when the reality is as scary as the worst of nightmares, I hav the gall to laugh and plan to turn tables at him !! Have I turned mental really ? I stare at my refection across the mirror who smiled at me encouragingly. yes, I will fight...I will force him to forgive me because I have done nothing wrong, and I definitely shall not marry sumer...i will do with my life whatever pleases me,marry whoever I wish to...Whom will I marry?, I asked to my reflection playfully. Ofcourse him, who has bottomless pools in place of eyes,proud gait, who has fingers of an artist yet grip of an ironclasp, he who shares shivji maharaj's name...huh ?? what am i thinking again ? whom am I dreaming to marry ? No,no,no. I am thinking of nobody particular.and ofcourse not of him. Him matlab R U D R A !
Fear and an unknown emotion lances through my body leaving me paralyzed. I trembled at the words the voice inside me is trying to tell ...No no absolute no.I refuse to hear you,I lash at it vehemently.I only wish he does not think me a arsonist anymore, i wish to go back to those days,when he was close to me,always,like a faithful shadow,when my well being supremely mattered to him.Oh ! bholenath, why have you not opened my eyes then and there,why have you not stopped me pushing him away all the time, with my jabbing words,why have you not frozen my hands that raised that day to throttle him from back !...
----Haan haan, woh sab tho thik hain,But why ?,the inner voice chuckles. Why do u wish him to come close to u like the day when he applied mehendi in your charred palms to sooth ur pain and yet so arrogantly marked u his own. Or maybe like that night when he filled ur partition with ur own blood accidentaly and then cocked his head defiantly to call u a Parvati Rudra Pratap Ranawat...or even better perhaps when he leant so close to unclasp that necklace that u almost thought him kissing you. Aisa i kuch. haina?
shut up, u devil...never ever in my life I hav thought so sinful.
----ooh, is it ? the devil grins wickedly lazy in my head, but what were u exactly dreaming last night as you slept at bapusa's room ?
I dreamt NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING !
-----yaah, but still u remember it as clearly as if it was all real. Haha haha ! read the signs baisa !
And it stops abruptly like a radio suddenly turned off .
My nerves begin to bubble as my orbs become foggy with reminiscences of a forbidden dream.
He sat beside me as i massaged the herbal paste gently under bapusa's feet.
-----why have you come back ?
------ i told you before, bapusaa needs me.and I am not ashamed of anything.I have done nothing wrong.
------what if I dont allow ?
------I will still not leave this house and ... you.
-----what games are you playing now , paro ? his voice so low that I had to strain my ears to listen.
I could not believe my own ears when I heard myself replying, ''I dont want to play with you anymore.You play too rough.'' what possessed me to say so, I didnt know but his pupils suddenly grew dark and hungry,his lips parted and his breath hitched when he snicked hoarsely,'' ofcourse you do, coz you love it that way only, nah ?''
I fought hopelessly with my benumbed body as I begged my brain to comprehend what he said just now.I tilted my head at him as if pleading him to end my confusion,and he did come ...but only to aggravate it further.
He stood up when he saw me leaving my seat unmindfully, and in two large strides, closed the distance between us.I raised weak protests when he took me in his arms and shushed in my ear.'dont u again dare to push me away, paro'...and crashed his lips to mine.My lids fluttered nervously at this unexpected gesture,fighting hard to open up and see those amber orbs from that proximity.my heart hammered in the cage so fast that i thought i would faint.He tasted like cloves,and mint and cashewnuts. Something more intoxicating like a bhang filled thandai,once tasted stolen from elder's eyes,lurched through my arteries right down to my tingling toes.And I felt bold, alive and willful , so much so that I moved my hand upwards to run my fingers through his hair feeling itz soft,silky sensation once more. at once I heard him growl,his fingers tangled in my long cascade tightened as his lips smoldered mine with impassioned touches.One of his hands moved to the small of my back and pulled me so close that I flushed,pressed against him.was i frightened or ignited or both ? was he really a sculpted granite, all hard, rocky and so addictively warm ? Thoughts of him,purely wicked flooded inside me and I tight shut my eyes lest he would learn all about it.His ragged breath caressed my neck and his mustache tickled as he brushed his lip to my earlobe, my pulsating nerve and rested finally to the juncture where shoulder meets the neck...
''Parvati baisa !! didnt u hear me calling for u ? what are u staring at ?'',
maithili jija's words seemed to tumble into my ears from far distance in a meaningless blur as I struggle to jump back to the present. i must take deep breathes to calm my flurrying pulse before smiling back to her.
Good one.You have echoed the part that was missing in RR.personal thoughts of Paro.
i would sincerely request you to add giraffe to Sumer's status.as I always feel that is an apt name for him.the way he moves his lips reminds me of Giraffe chewing the food and his long legs could not fit anyone but giraffes.