Raqeeb Yaan... [Adil/Saba One-Shot]

Share
Posted: 6 years ago

This is my first one-shot on Dr. Adil and Saba from new Urdu drama: Mera Raqeeb [My Rival]. No need to say how madly I am in love with Adil and Saba and this drama. Before getting on with one-shot I am writing a brief story for you all, so it'll help you understand the OS and Adil/Saba better. :)

Mera Raqeeb - story so far [please read in order to understand :)]: So a car accident takes place in which a man and woman are injured and they are taken into a hospital which is Dr. Adil's hospital who is a top class surgeon and runs this hospital. When this accident case arrives they find out the man is Yousuf Mirza and presume that the woman with him in accident is wife of Yousuf but when his family comes [a mother and a woman]. The woman introduces herself as Mrs Saba Yousuf, Dr Adil gets surprised to know that the woman in accident is not Mrs Yousuf Mirza and when he is about to go to surgery of Yousuf, he comes face to face with the woman who was with Yousuf who is being taken to surgery as well it is none other than his own wife - Rana. He and Saba are left shocked as how Yousuf and Rana were together when they don't know each other or their families or never met each other before. And Rana was supposed to be in USA and Yousuf somewhere esle so how they were together? Things worsen when Yousaf and Rana fall into coma leaving their spouses - Adil & Saba confused and shattered. When Adil investigates he realizes that his wife Rana and Saba's husband - Yousuf were having an affair behind Adil's and Saba's back.

This makes things worse between Adil and Saba, when he tells this Saba she doesn't believe him but with series of flashbacks and few things in her husband's bags which does create suspicions in her mind. Not only this but she finds out her husband has so much loan and left almost no money for her. But she remains hopeful and in denial but Dr. Adil's behavior gets worse as he refuses to treat Yousuf and even says to Saba that he will kill Yousuf but somehow Saba keeps him grounded. Saba too in verge of tears says, she knows it too, she has questions too but she will not let them come in between the treatment of them. Adil ignores his wife completely, doesn't treat her but does treat yousuf. Meanwhile Adil and Saba who are completely broken and shattered find some peace of mind with each other when they spend sometime together talking about their partners and their love. Saba was married to Yousuf 6 months ago - love marriage and Adil/Rana married 6 years ago - love marriage. Adil tries to help Saba whenever, wherever it is possible; whether it is her husband's treatment or financially. In this time Adil finds himself getting attached to Saba and confesses this too her indirectly but she refuses but doesn't deny having any attachment for him. Yousuf and Rana come out of coma but Yousuf having no memory and very aggressive and Rana too having no memory and not able to speak temporarily. Adil and Saba has tiff again when he asks her to shift Yousuf into rehab for treatment after Yousuf attacks Saba but she refuses and takes him home.

Later she finds out that Yousuf had bought a home in different city - Murree and last installment of 15 lacs still needs to pay. Shocked, she travels all the way there alone and finds out it is true, as she sees multiple evidences, including Rana & Yousuf's photo she finds out that Dr. Adil was right all along. Yousuf and Rana were indeed having an affair. Now Saba calls Adil there too and shows him the house where he is completely shocked, in rage, shattered and feeling betrayed. They both share their feelings of betrayal there with series of flashback. It leaves Saba questioning about her relation with Yousuf meanwhile Adil has made up his mind to break all ties with Rana. In last episode, Adil in fit of anger tries to misbehave with Saba because of Yousuf where she breaks down and blames Adil and Rana for creating havoc in her life. Adil later apologizes to her and she forgives him. While talking to her friend Saba realizes that deep down she has managed to get through this difficult time only because of Adil, he kept her strong and remembers their time together. While Adil doesn't care about Rana but only worries about Saba. She worries about how to pay the 15 lacs when she finds out Adil has paid it already. When she questions him about this he leaves her shocked and numb with his confession saying "tumhare ilawa mera es duniya mein aur koi nahi hai."

So that's the story so far, now coming to one-shot, this idea is taken from the preview of next episode (9) which will air next sunday. It was a short preview and this is my version of how I would have continued it, even though I know scene will be different but this is my version of it. :) I hope you all enjoy it.



Raqeeb Yaan... \\Saba&Adil

"Saba, tum kise dhoka de rahi ho? Mujhe yaan apne aap ko? Saba, rishte aur mohabbat mein yehi toh farq hota hai; rishte todhey jaa sakte hain, mohabbat todh deti hai."

"Aik bar usko apni safai ka mauqa toh dein."

"I don't care. Tumhe agar parwa hoti na toh tum wahan hoti, mujhe apne paas yahan nahi bulati." She is slightly surprised by his choice of words, feeling somewhat hurt as well.

"Maine aapko apne liye nahi bulaya, Dr Adil. Maine aapko es ghar ke liye bulaya tha. Aapko es liye bulaya tha ke jis din se mile hain aapne sawaalon se pareshaan kar diya mujh. Un sawaalon ke jawab ke liye aapko bulaya. Es liye bulaya kyunki aapka shukk jeet gaya!"

Her tone was slightly raised and the words come out slightly harsher than she intended. Realizing her tone was raised, she looks away and tries to compose herself without meeting with his eyes. He was taken aback by her sudden outburst which was caused by his comment. This is the second time he has successfully caused her outburst by his stupidity. First was 2 nights ago when he misbehaved with her just because he was so angry and couldn't think straight. He flinches at the memory also feels the pain on the side of his head rising, where she had hit him with the ash tray. Even though she's been too kind to him and she accepted his apology for it but deep down he knows he will not be able to forgive himself for venting his rage out on her, when in fact she's the victim here, like him or more than him. That was the moment when he saw her break down for the first time. Even though it seemed he was not able to concentrate on anything but a throbbing pain on the left side of his head. He heard and saw everything; her out burst, her blames, her pain, her tears, her regrets. It was only for few moments where she completely breaks down and lets herself cry and yell not caring about his presence he captured every single detail of that moment and it caused more pain in his heart than the pain he was feeling in his head. Just few moments she gives herself before her guards are up again and she wipes her tears away. It only took a day but she chose to forgive him, she chose to see the reason behind his anger, she chose to help him out and not abandon him. She could have thrown him out of the door after what he did but no, she treated his wound caused by her, she not only gave him food but made him eat at and if that was not enough to make him want to die with shame she didn't let him drive his way back but she drove him back to his hotel. All night he kept thinking about her, worrying if she got back safe but he had no courage to call her and ask her. Next morning she did surprise him when she accepted his apology and realized the reason behind his stupid rather a thoughtless act. The one person in the whole world who matters to him now is her - Saba and it's the same person he is causing the pain right now. He can't be too selfish right now, he wants to remain the one person with whom she can share and be with without being hurt. Realizing this he moves forward towards her.

"Saba, mera woh matlab..." He takes a step towards her but stops when she takes a step back and brings her hand forward to stop him.

"Aapka kya matlab hai Dr Adil main achi tarhan se jaanti hon." He stops there and looks helplessly at her.

"Aapko apni biwi ki parwa ho na ho, mujhe apne shaohar (husband) ki parwa hai." He couldn't help it but to feel irritated with her right now. 'She is just saying this to irk me.' He hears a small voice in his head.

"Tumhe uski parwa hai?" This causes her to look up at him and she didn't miss the challenge in his tone.

"Haan."

"Oh really?" Once again he asked her with same challenging tone as he took a step towards her. Now standing a step closer to her, he waits for her answer as she tries to remain calm because from within she can feel the ocean rising once again. She can't break down now, not again especially not in front of him again.

"Mujhe jaana hoga Dr. Adil, meri train ka time horaha hai." So she choose the easy way out - leave. He observes her closely, she looks very tired, fresh tears are forming in her eyes but refusing to fall and he doesn't fall to notices the disappointment in her voice when she announces her departure. No matter what she says he knows that it is not the same anymore. Saba is not looking forward to see Yousuf because now Saba has seen it with her own eyes that Yousuf was cheating on her with Rana. That's why Adil asked her that question before, trying to make her realize it isn't the same anymore that she can't keep on hoping it is all wrong or misunderstanding because it is not. No matter how much Saba yearns for answers from Yousuf or Adil asks from Rana, nothing will change that. Their clarifications, answers will not change anything now, 'why can't Saba understand this simple thing?' He asks himself. She starts walking towards him but doesn't stop in front of him but keeps on walking, walks past him, just as she was about to take one more step further, she stops.

"Tumhe uski parwa hai lekin meri nahi..." It was a silent complain escaped from his mouth without him realizing but it was barely audible which leave Saba questioning herself is to whether he really said it or it was her imagination. She turns around to look at him but comes face to face with his back, his face is still looking at where Saba was previously standing. Dejectedly she turns around and starts walking; she didn't take many steps further before Adil starts to follow her behind. Both of them walking at a slow pace as if not in hurry to reach anywhere, finally Adil picks up his pace slightly and only stops when he is a step away from Saba. Reaching out for her arm, he holds her arm and turns her around causing her come face to face with him. As soon this happens she feels dejavu because it was just yesterday when she had done same to him when he left her numb after his confession. 'Es liye kyunki mera es duniya mein tumhare ilawa aur koi nahi hai,' his words are still ringing in her ears, she looks away as she feels shivers go down her spine, whether it's his eyes, his touch or his confession she can't tell but it is him for sure.

"Saba..." Her name rolls off his tongue so gently and easily, it does surprise her sometimes that with how much affection her calls her at times. She tries to speak but she shakes his head.

"Tumhari maa nahi hai, tumhara maayka nahi hai, lekin Saba... tum akeli nahi ho. Es duniya mein koi hai jiska tumhare ilawa aur koi nahi hai. Es liye woh tumhe kabhi bhi akela nahi hone dega. Kabhi bhi nahi, tum chaho yaan na chaho. Tum usay dekho yaan na dekho, tumhe kabhi uski parwa karo yaan na karo. Tumhare liye sochna wala bhi hai koi, tumhari fikar karne wala bhi hai koi." His tone was soft yet firm just like yesterday when on hill he had first had said this to her. With this he lets go of her elbow but doesn't shift his gaze from her just yet. He watches her face's color change, her breathing pattern changing; her initial reaction from surprise changing into shock before she falls into numbness just like yesterday. She opens her mouth to say something but her voice doesn't support her, her mind goes blank once again. Before she actually recovers from it, Adil places his hands into his pockets and slowly starts to walk away from her.


I hope you all enjoyed it. :)

Edited by -De.De- - 6 years ago
4 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Clapthis is awesome <3 saba and adil <3
1 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
i love love love love love loveee...eee...eee..eee sajal
she is like my current fav actress and i get obsessed with my fav.


i loved your review on mera raqeeb. now that u have told the story which looks pretty interesting to me i will definitely watch it. it looks very different form other dramas

i love her sajal much i think i am the first person who watches sanata online lol her acting is just tooo good, she played the character of pari who is abnormal to perfection.

in such a young age she did so many challenging roles like nanhi and pari. 3 years in indursty and she already did so many projects wowww 




PARI FROM SANNATA






NANHI










i will deff watch mera raqeebHeart


i need to join her ATEmbarrassed

cause now a days all i do is go gaga over her and her marvelous acting.

i even have her pic in my s4 wallpaperHeart





Edited by DANGGG - 6 years ago
1 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Hey Iqra !!
Awesome AND fabulous Loved itt ...
Write more !!
Welldone Girl (:
Thank you for pm..

1 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Thank you so much guys for your wonderful reviews. Hug
@Dangg - It is worth watching!! I am enjoying every minute of it and absolutely in love with Faisal and Sajjal as Adil & Saba. Heart I loved Sajjal in Behad and another telefilm 'esa bhi hota hai' - in this telefilm she was absolutely mind blowing. I loved her since then!!
Sannata and Pari didn't interest me so didn't watched them but I am loving Mera Raqeeb.
0 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Originally posted by -De.De-


Thank you so much guys for your wonderful reviews. Hug
@Dangg - It is worth watching!! I am enjoying every minute of it and absolutely in love with Faisal and Sajjal as Adil & Saba. Heart I loved Sajjal in Behad and another telefilm 'esa bhi hota hai' - in this telefilm she was absolutely mind blowing. I loved her since then!!
Sannata and Pari didn't interest me so didn't watched them but I am loving Mera Raqeeb.
dunno if u would liek nanhi or no but i think u should give sannata another chance u wil be addicted to it if u cna watch 10 epi of the show only then. actually i was really bored and didnt had a new show to watch so i started watching sannata causse of sajal and i love love love that show its awesome do give it a try its a thriller 
0 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Originally posted by DANGGG


dunno if u would liek nanhi or no but i think u should give sannata another chance u wil be addicted to it if u cna watch 10 epi of the show only then. actually i was really bored and didnt had a new show to watch so i started watching sannata causse of sajal and i love love love that show its awesome do give it a try its a thriller 

Thanks for suggestion Danggg, will give Sannata another try now, never know I actually might enjoy it.Big smile and if you haven't do watch Sajjal's telefilm 'Esa Bhi Hota Hai', it is way too good.
1 Likes this
Posted: 6 years ago
Originally posted by -De.De-


Originally posted by DANGGG


dunno if u would liek nanhi or no but i think u should give sannata another chance u wil be addicted to it if u cna watch 10 epi of the show only then. actually i was really bored and didnt had a new show to watch so i started watching sannata causse of sajal and i love love love that show its awesome do give it a try its a thriller 

Thanks for suggestion Danggg, will give Sannata another try now, never know I actually might enjoy it.Big smile and if you haven't do watch Sajjal's telefilm 'Esa Bhi Hota Hai', it is way too good.
yup do try its awesome just the starting epis are hard to watch cause its confusing and slow but i think even that is imp to see because in the initial epis they are building the characters. but yeah after that its hard to resist. 
The story starts from husna (sajal ali) who is pregnant and no body from her family wanna let her in house and she doesn't have anywhere else to go. she ran away form her house to marry a alcoholic who told her he won't drink or touch alcohol ever and be a true Muslim if she comes with him and so she leave her house behind and runs away form him, his  brother goes to find her to kill her but dies in an accident and his father gets the news and he dies from a heart attack so her mother thinks that husna is dead for them.

 but later she com back because his husband tried to sell her to someone else. she was preggy too. so outside her mom houses she delivers a baby girl and dies. and so the story is about pari ( sajjal ali ) who's gramma hates her but she is really close to her cousin sister rukia who is mother figure for pari. but pari isnt normal like everybody else she is abnormal in someway.

pari sees that every body loves rukia and feels neglected and that one of the reason of her weird behavior , there is a guy who comes and marries rukia ( saba qamar) who pari liked as a friend so she is even more hurt which effects her brain and behaviour even more . 

there is aa guy who fell in love with pari in love at first sight and pari likes him too. she met him even before rukia's wedding but before rukia gets married she tells the guy  to take him to her father since no body wants her here and her rukia is also leaving , but from the wedding day she start to think of her self as rukia.

later when that guy who likes pari, comes to take pari to let her see her father finds out she too moved to city with rukia to rukia's husband house , when rukia and pari comes to see her mother and nani the guy kidnapps pari and takes her away so she wont go away form him again.  thats the story so far.

i know there must be a lot of error and all but i am not a good story teller lol 

its must be very complicated to read what i just wrote but yeah u should give it a try.

and m in like the second last epi of mata e jaan after that i will first watch mera raqeeb then esa bhi hota haiWink


oh damn that was a one long comment lol 
1 Likes this

Related Topics

Topics Author Replies Views Last Post Reply
awida 62 1324 a month ago Rabz_14
awida 20 384 19 days ago ItsmeSehar
_NINA_ 82 1848 2 months ago _NINA_
Roses-khushi 8 452 2 months ago Rabz_14
_NINA_ 5 166 2 months ago RaVanKiRani

Topic Info

10 Replies 4174Views

Topic started by -De.De-

Last replied by -De.De-

FORUM QUICK JUMP

TOP