Thank you for the PM - I almost missed this and that would have been a crime!
How many people actually strive to have an identity, whether consciously or otherwise? Or even change that identity by our 'tastes' for music, food, fashion, friends, boyfriends etc etc? How many people find that surety of their identity fly out of the window, particularly if they aren't sure at all (deep down) of what they are, when a guy or gal enters the equation.
The way you described Lavanya making Arnav the pseudo-centre of her universe was so real. The way she recognized that Khushi and Arnav were a certainty and she stepped aside, instead of going down another route was admirable - you described her thought process in such a believable way.
If there's one thing I loved about Lavanya's character despite the beginning, is the way she was woman enough and sensible enough to not pursue a man as broken as Arnav, when it became clear it wouldn't work out. As I see it, Arnav was the broody aberration in Lavanya's life; she deserved someone who wouldn't see her as second best.