The Green Eyed Monster
Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to these pictures. They have been procured from public internet sources and have been used merely for illustrative purposes.
"Hello, Hai, Bye-Bye! Bhaat are you saying Chaya? Hein? Such ma aisan hovat hai ka? My Gawd! Accha theek hai, hum baad ma batiyayenge. Pahle hum tho dekhbe ki ee kahaan gaye hain. Hello, Hai, Bye-Bye" sang Manorama agitatedly in the phone. Wringing her hands she made her way to join the ladies in the sit-out, after her futile attempt to locate her husband in the palatial Raizada Mansion.
Anjali and Payal were catching up over a cup of tea while Naani was sealing the last couple of the porcelain jars of pickle. Khushi had her nose buried in her laptop, her constant companion these days. Ever since Dhruv's return to California and his declaration that he would write emails to her, Khushi had taken to mastering the mysteries of cyberspace. And since Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada never did anything in half-measures, the family rarely saw her without her trusted laptop. Everywhere that Khushi went, the laptop was sure to go, so much so that Manorama Mami had quipped one day in sheer indignation, "Aisan laagat hai ki ee laptop tho Patisaadi ka *Kavach aur Kundal bangaya hai. Hello Hai, Bye-Bye," and left the family in peals of laughter.
But on this perfect afternoon Manorama saw nothing that tickled her wit. She was lost deep in her thoughts as she sat stonily next to Devyani, mouthing half-finished inaudible thoughts accompanied by her fingers pointing and squiggling in space, as if she was trying to piece together a puzzle in mid-air. Chaya her friend had just shared several bits of disturbing gossip. Apparently the famed seven year itch that lead happily married men astray has been replaced by some sort of a delayed mid-life-crisis that was becoming increasingly prevalent in affluent men of middle age. With the booming focus on glamour and svelte female models being showcased in every form of media, even the most ascetic of men were finding it hard to abstain from indulging themselves. Chaya had shared anecdotes of the husbands of two of the women in her kitty circle that had been discovered during their rendezvous with women half their age. Curse Chaya for ending the conversation with her lingering words of advice about keeping an eye on Manoharji whose work often lead him to foreign shores and put him in close proximity to stunning models.
And that was it. Suddenly Manorama began to notice that ever since Manohar Raizada had returned back from Kerala, he seemed to be extremely secretive. He was by nature a reserved man, a man of pithy and witty words. However, in all of the thirty years that she had been married to him, she had never once known him to behave in such a mysterious fashion. She had caught him twice in the past two days whispering into his phone. He had promptly switched it off both the times when he spied her strolling over and had responded with vague answers to her prodding questions. "She had seen these tell-tale signs twice in this family. She would be damned if she let history repeat itself with her." Manorama mumbled mentally, nodding her head and pressing her lips together in determination, as if she had reached an important decision.
"Maaji, kya baat hai?" queried Payal anxiously and six pairs of eyes zoned in on the troubled face of her mother-in-law. "Hum sochat rahe the ki, tumra maamaji NK ke sasuraal se jaldi eehe liye aaye, kyonki oo hume missiya rahe te. Par Hello, Hai, Bye-Bye, eehan to inke latchan hi theek naahin hain. Late comings from work and secretly talkings on the pone, Hello, Hai, Bye-Bye! Hume to daal me kuch kaala naahin, balki poora ka poora daal hi kaala lagat hai," said Manorama, knitting her eyebrows unmindful of the deep furrows they caused on her blemish less forehead.
"Manorama, ab koi aur naahin mila to aap humre bete pe shaq karne lage hai. Jayiye ghar ke kaam kaaj me Payal aur Kusi bitiya ke haath bhatayiye. Woh Ka hai ki, kaali dimak shaitan ka ghar hovat hai. Samje aap?" chided Devyani, not in the least bit pleased with her daughter-in-law for casting aspersions on her only son. "Jo hum pfeel karat hai, wohi hum kahat hai sasoo ma" sniffled an agitated Manorama, turning her face away from a stern faced Devyani. Anjali hurried to separate the two women and distracted naaniji with her enquiries about Tashi, while Payal led her mother-in-law away under the pretext of checking on a sleeping Aanya.
************
"What the? Khushi. Khu-Shi. KHUSHI... Look at me dammit." Arnav frowned impatiently looking across from his bed towards the recliner, where his wife was perched, furiously typing away on her latest obsession, her laptop. "Bas, ek minit aur Arnavji. Aaj humare blog pe naya recipe post karne ka din hai. Aur hum to humare baat ke pakke hote hai. Agar aaj hum yeh kaam poora nahin kar paaye to humare saare followers niraash hojayenge." Replied Khushi in a carefree tone, her eyes never once straying from the screen as her fingers flew on the keyboard.
The prickling skin on the nape of her neck and the accompanying goosebumps alerted her to the presence of her husband towering above her, but Khushi feigned ignorance. "Bade aaye Laad Governor! Agar woh humari baat nahin maanenge, to hume bhi unke har choti si baat par daud te hue jane ki koi zaroorat nahin hain."
Even before her muted monologue ended, Khushi felt long lean fingers coiling around her upper arms, and pulling her up. The touch of those fingers on her skin and his possessive grip was sending delicious waves through her. It had been quite a while since they had had their moments, thanks to their cold war over the past few days. Her eyelids fluttered close of their own accord and her heart began its unsteady rhythm as she crashed against his chest and his husky voice dropped down a few decibels, his lips skimming her ears, "Khushi, what's the matter? Blog? Recipe? Followers disappoint honge? Aur mere baat ka kya?"
"Nahin, nahin. Hum kamzor nahin pad sakte. Warna hum Arnavji ko kabhi bhi humare baat pe raazi nahin kar paayenge" she reminded herself and turning her frank, wide eyes towards him replied "Matter kya hai, yeh aap bhi achi tarah se jaante hai Arnavji."
Arnav sighed as he withdrew his hands and stuck them firmly in his pockets, "You know very well ki mein kyon iske liye mana kar raha hoon Khushi. Phir bhi tum mera kaha nahin maanogi, aur naahi mere paas aaogi. Is that right?" Khushi's gaze faltered and she felt her resolve weaken even as she opened her mouth to respond. Right at that moment a sharp rap sounded on the door followed by a hushed "phatisaadi, are you therej andar?"
"Haan Maamiji, hum aarahe hain" called out Khushi with a fleeting backward glance at her husband's handsome face that was settling in hard and unyielding lines at her obvious bid for escape. With any luck Maamiji would keep her busy until late in the night, and she would come back to a sleeping Arnavji, was her last thought before she shut the door behind her and faced an agitated maami.
************
Khushi wiggled her cramped toes within the tight confines of the closet in Maamiji's room. The already claustrophobic atmosphere thickened with the palpable tension emanating from Manorama who was standing right next to her sandwiching her between herself and the inner wall of the closet. "Hum yahan par kya kar rahen hai maamiji? Hume to kuch samaj mein nahin aa raha hai?"
Manorama leaned in as she hissed"Shhh, awaaj neeche phati saadi. Kya tum forgetiya gayi ho ki hum tumhe kal raat ka bataya the? Hume laagat hai ki aapke maamaji humse kuch chupa rahe hain. Aur tum ne promise ki na humse kal, ki tum humre inbestigation mein humra saat doge; jaise humne tumra saat diya ta jab Arnav bitwa ka kidnap hua ta?" Khushi placed a soothing hand on Manorama's shoulder and patting her gently said "Haan maami. Par humne socha ki aapko kal raat kuch galat faimi hogayi hai, aur aaj subah sab kuch theek hojayega." "Naahin phatisaadi" said Manorama with a vehement shake of her head and went on to relate to Khushi what her sleuthing had revealed that day.
She went on to describe how last night, Manohar had quickly silenced the cell phone and had rushed over to the washroom to answer it while she had pretended to be fast asleep. She had distinctly heard her husband's voice brimming with excitement and eagerness as he spoke repeatedly addressing the caller as honeyji and had gushed as he praised her as being extremely smart for her young age. Mamiji also related how that morning she had caught sight of her husband putting a gorgeous Benarasi saree and a heavy jewelry set in a bag and hand off to Hariprasad with specific instructions to give the bag to Honeyji and no one else, and an added warning " Aur Hariprakash, saavdan, Mano ko ee baat ka pata na lage."
Khushi listened open mouthed struggling to find appropriate words to console the older woman, when the door to the bedroom opened softly and they spied Mamaji craning his head in, carefully scanning the room before he quickly entered, shut the door and whipping out his cell proceeded to chat with the mysterious Honeyji'. "Honeyji, aap ko packet milgayi? Acha, aapko pasand aya, ji I am very happy. Haan haan, yaad hai mein theek aaj raat saath baje tak pahunch jaaonga. Badi mushkil se pichle do din khaate hain humne aaj shaam ke intejaar mein honeyji. Aap bas wahan par samaype pahunch jaayiye aur humra intejaar kijiye."
Manorama's lips drooped as she lamented "Booty parlor aur espas ke chakkar sab baste hui gava. Hum akhir ma too old hogaye hain inki najar ma. Ab ee hum ko Bye-Bye kar ke oo Honeyji ko Hello, Hai kiye jaa rahe hai." Khushi opened her mouth to reply but was left speechless for the second time that day when the door flew open and Arnav walked in enquiring "Mamaji, all set? Theek hai. I am off to work. Aur haan mein aaj lunch meeting pe nahin asakta. I am meeting my friend Vicky for Lunch."
"Kaun Vicky? Bhai, kahin yeh aapki ex-girlfriend Victoria to nahin?" asked Akash who had walked in to join his brother and the three of them proceeded towards the door. Khushi's ears had sharpened at the word ex-girlfriend and she opened the closet door a crack to catch her husband's lopsided smile and delighted response. "Yep the same. She's one beautiful woman with brains to match. Waise bhi aaj kal sub kuch bahut routine hogaya hai. It'll be a change to see her"
"Haauh" mouthed Khushi aghast, her hands fisting on her hips, forgetting about maamiji and her predicament for a fleeting moment. Quickly regrouping herself, she emerged from the closet with a flourish dragging a distraught maami. "maamiji, yeh rone ka waqt nahin balke samajdaari se kaam lena ka waqt hai. Mamaji sirf aur sirf aapke hain"
"You are right phatisaadi. I bill not give up to that daayan honey" resolved maami dashing away her tears. The women plotted and planned and decided on a strategy at long last.
************
It was a typical October night in Delhi. The roads were congested with the usual hustle and bustle of folks returning home. The two women in the taxi saw nothing but the white sedan speeding away ahead of them carrying Manohar Singh Raizada to his rendezvous point. Thanks to the hefty tip their driver followed it closely, deftly squeezing and weaving between the multitudes of vehicles in his path. Presently the car pulled in front of the Blue Mango, one of the newly opened five star multi-cuisine restaurants in town. They saw Manohar alight and proceed through the foyer towards a smartly dressed waitress who ushered him towards the far end of the place and let him into a private dining area. "Maamiji, aap yahaan pe rukhiye, hum abhi aathe hain" whispered Khushi before disappearing.
Manorama looked around, her foot tapping impatiently as she waited for Khushi to return. The luxurious touches of the swanky place which she would have oohe and aahed over, under normal circumstances, were lost on her as she brooded over what could be occurring behind that dreaded door and invented dire consequences for honeyji'. "Ee phatisaadi pata nahin kahaan chali gayi. Hum ab aur bait naahin kar sakath hai, Hello, Hye, Bye-Bye" she muttered sashaying towards the padded door through which her husband had disappeared a little while back. Drawing in a deep breath, she yanked the door open with a shrill "Hello, hai, Bye-Bye, Surp---" only to find herself standing in a dark room. Even as she groped her way towards the center the lights turned on and balloons popped all around her with confetti and streamers flying around in the air, as familiar voices sang out a loud and off key Happy Birthday song, and her husband's arm reached out to wipe away the tears of happiness flowing down her cheeks. "Happy fiftieth birthday maami" said a smiling Arnav while Akash and Payal enveloped her in a bear hug. "Toh Manorama, kaisan laga humre bitwa ka surprise. Ab toh yakeen hogaye ki daal mein kucho kala naahin tha? Pachasvi saalgira Mubarak ho" said Devyani placing her hand on her daughter-in-law's head and blessed her.
"Aur ee Honey?" questioned an embarassed Manorama. "Mano ee lyo inn se milo. Ee hai Mr. Honey Singh, iss restaurant ke entertainment manager jo humri madad kar rahe the" and Manohar introduced her to a strapping man in his late twenties. "Hein! Aaap ne humre liye ee surprise,---- aur hum kaa sochat rahe Hello, Hye, Bye-Bye? I am berry sorry"
"Arrey Mano kahe ka sorry. Humne hi tho aapke mann ma yeh shaq ka bheej boya tha aur Kusi bitiya ne humri madad ki taaki tum humre peeche peeche eehan tak pahunch sake"
"Bhaat?, you too phatisaadi?" exclaimed Manorama her eyes round with surprise. "Haan Maamiji, hume mwaaf keejiye. Leejiye hum khan pakadte hain. Par hum kya kare? Aap thahre Manorama Bond, aap se chupke yeh surprise party ka ayojan karna to namumkin ta. Isliye humne, mamaji ke saat milke yeh sab drama kiya, aur aapko yakeen dilaya ki iss Honeyji aur mamaji ke beech mein kuch toh baat hai" giggled Khushi as Manorama tweaked her cheek in mock anger.
Maamiji had changed into the Benarsi saree that mamaji had dispatched with Hariprakash earlier that day and adorned herself with the jewelry that her husband had picked for her. As the festivities continued, Khushi's eyes searched the room for her Arnavji. Their stand-off had gone on long enough, she decided. She could not pretend to sulk at him any longer. She no longer cared whether he agreed to give her what she wanted or not. She just needed to see him smile at her, for her and hold her in the safe coil of his arms. "Kahaan chale gaye aap Arnavji?" she muttered scanning the perimeter of the room and headed out towards the hall way. A stray glance out the window arrested her in her tracks. Arnav was guiding an extremely attractive red-head towards a waiting car, his hand resting on the small of her back, as he opened the door for her. She was laughing at him and he was laughing right back, his glorious features alight. The woman said something to which he nodded and she threw her arm around his neck and placed a kiss on his cheek before quickly slipping into the car. Khushi drew in a sharp breath and moved away from the windows as she sensed Arnav turning around and looking up.
************
Soft sobs penetrated his semi-conscious state and Arnav instantly flipped over to his side throwing back the covers. "Khushi--- What's the matter?" he breathed anxiously, bending over the quivering form of his wife, his heart pounding in his chest. In a trice she turned and threw her arms around his neck in a vice-like grip "Arnavji, hum aapke har baat maante hain. Hum intezar karenge. Bas aap humse door mat jaayiye. Hum sah nahi payenge."
"Shhh, Khushi, shhh. Kya hua? Mein kahi nahin jaa rahaan hoon. Mein hamesha tumhare paas hi rahoonga. Samji tum?" he asked flicking the tears off her cheeks and tipping her chin up to look into her eyes. Khushi sniffed loudly, nodding her head and continued in a small voice, "aur woh aapki Viky ji? jinhon ne aaj shaam ko aapke gaal pe," and her voice broke as a fresh wave of tears surged in her eyes and quivered on her lashes. Arnav's puzzlement gave way to amusement "Toh that's what it is. Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada has been bitten by the green eyed monster. You were jealous!"
"Haan toh?" Pouted Khushi. Arnav drew her back in the circle of his arms, "toh, it means you love me a lot. Nothing more. Nothing else. Aur haan, that was Vicky. She WAS my girlfriend and IS NOW somebody's wife and mother. Aur rahi who kiss wali baat, she is American. That Kiss was just a friendly peck, and nothing more." He assured her, delight filling his heart as the clouds of despair in her eyes rolled away giving way to radiant happiness. "But this kiss Khushi", he drawled his eyes turning a deep coffee brown casting it's hypnotic spell on her, "I have to warn you, is not in the least bit friendly" and with that he lowered his lips to hers and tipped her world all over again.
************
"Bechari Khushi. Pata nahin, iss Victoria ki baat ko lekar kya sochrahi hogi? aaj raat so payegi bhi ya nahin?" wondered Payal aloud as she sat in the swing next to her husband her head resting on his shoulder. Akash chuckled and stroking her hair replied "Tumhe kya lagta hai Payal. Agar Khushi dad ke saat milkar, maa ko surprise dene ke liye drama karsakti hai, to kya mein apne bhai ke saat milkar yeh drama nahin karsakta?" Payal's head sprung up in astonishment as she gazed open mouthed at Akash. Akash reached out to run his index finger along her cheek as he said "Vicky, Bhai ka ateet hai. They are just friends. She is happily married. Besides, bhai has eyes for none but bhaabi. You see Payal, jealousy is the thermometer of intense love. Aur Khushi ji ko thodasa iska ehsaas dilana zaroori tha. Jab mom ke room mein, bhai aur mein ne Vicky ki bare mein baaten ki, tab hum donon ko pata ta ki Khushi ji plan ke mutabik maa ke sath closet mein chupi hai. Aur uske baad shyamko jab unho ne bhai ko Vicky ko bye kahte hue dekh liya, I am sure unhon ne humari estimation ke hisaab se react ki hogi. Par ghabrao mat. Bhai bhi kuch kam nahin, ab tak woh bhaabhi ko mana chuke honge aur unki choti si duniya mein Khushi ke rang chayi hogi." He said with a wide smile before crushing his wife to him as she pounded him on his chest when comprehension dawned on her.
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PS: * Karna's Kavach aur Kundal - Mahabharatha, one of the Hindu Mythological stories speaks of a great hero Karna, the son of Kunti and the Sun God - Surya. As a result of his father's blessing, Karna was born with a golden armor affixed to his body and golden earrings. These provide him divine protection since no weapon on earth or heaven was capable of piercing them. The Kavacha and Kundala of Karna are fused to his body and have to be severed off, to be separated from him.
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