Entry #1
By : Madame_Noddy
Chances : Lost and Found
O Wind, if Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? Asad read to himself from the thick volume in his hand. He always found an odd peace when he read this poem, Ode to the West Wind by PB Shelley... he felt he connected with what the poet was going through when he wrote this piece. Hopelessness, despair... all the poet wanted was a chance, a chance to prove his worth, a chance to regain his lost glory. He was positive that he could do it... if only he were given the strength; the opportunity to do so... and he got it. He got that one chance.
And that's exactly where the difference lay.
Asad did not get that one chance. He lost it... he pushed it away with his own bare hands. He pushed away his love, his Zoya. All in the name of responsibility... a responsibility that was not his.
oOo
Five years... exactly five excruciatingly long years had passed since she had left on this very day. She said that what he was doing was the right thing to do, to take responsibility of a helpless mother and her unborn child. Her last words still rung in his ears, "Main New York wapis jaa rahi hoon Mr. Khan. Aur iss baar hargis nahi rukungi." Her voice was choked with unshed tears, but she was strong. She really was a strong girl, and he didn't doubt that one bit. After all, which girl, or rather which woman would have the strength to hand over her love to the hands of another woman? To a woman who had destroyed her life?
Zoya left early in the morning the very next day, before the sehri. All she left behind was her memories, and a note which said:
"Eid se pehle apni Eidi maang rahi hoon Phoophi. Mujhe dhoondhne ki koshish mat kijiyega. Please. Khudahaafiz."
Asad had fallen apart since that day. It took him an entire month to find his life... only to lose her again. He had said that he would marry Tanveer, but he couldn't. He couldn't see anyone other than Zoya dressed up as his bride. He couldn't bear to see anyone's face other than Zoya's every night before he went to sleep and every morning when he woke up. He couldn't commit himself to a woman for whom he had no feelings, apart from those of sympathy... and responsibility. Every time he looked at Tanveer, she reminded him of the sin that he had committed... a sin which had cost him his life, his love, his Zoya... and a sin which he couldn't remember ever doing.
And he soon found out why. Tanveer's labour pain started six months later, unusual for a woman who had been pregnant for only six months.
Or so he thought.
She gave birth to a healthy, full- term baby- a boy. And that could mean only one thing. Tanveer had lied. She had cheated them... correction, she had destroyed them.
Asad had barged into the ward and woken up a peacefully asleep Tanveer. He could never forget what had taken place after that. He remembered every poisonous word that she had spoken. He felt as though he had never known her before... as though the ten- year- old Tanveer who had been his childhood buddy was merely a figment of his imagination...
oOo
"Yeh kya hai Tanveer? Tumne humse jhoot kyun bola, kyun humara bharosa toda? BOLO!"
"Ja-Jammy k-kya bol rahe hain aap?" stammered Tanveer.
"Yeh bachha mera nahi hai! Hum dono ke beech kuch nahi hua tha! Tum toh sirf 6 mahine pregnant thi na? Toh fir? Kaise janam diya tumne iss bachhe ko? Kyun dhokha diya? Kyun barbaad kar di meri zindagi? BOLO TANVEER!!"
By that time Dilshad and Najma had heard the noise and had entered the ward too. Even they were confused as to how Tanveer could have given birth so early.
"Ja-Jammy wo-woh main..."
"BAS! Bohot sun liya maine tumhare jhoot... aur nahi sun sakta! Bas itna jaanna chahta hoon, kyun?" Asad asked, his voice now weak, defeated.
"Haan! Bola maine jhoot! Diya aap sab ko dhoka! Sirf apne liye, aur apne iss bachhe ke liye. Main Asad se nikaah karke mere bachhe ko unka naam dena chahti thi, aur apne liye shororat aur aish-o-aaraam ki zindagi chati thi. Par beech mein woh Zoya aa gayi. Kitni baar, kitni baar koshish ki maine usey apne raaste se hatane ki... New York wapis bhejne ki koshish ki, usey maarne ki bhi koshish ki, par naakaam rahi. Par dekhiye, mere ek jhoot ne usey kaise mere raaste se hata diya! Hahaha! Par fir bhi Asad mere nahi huye... KYUN?! Na jaane kaunsa kaala jaadu kiya hai us Zoya ne aap sab par aur..."
THHWWAACKK!
Asad had lost it. He had lost every ounce of his self control when he heard that witch befouling Zoya's name by uttering it from her dirty mouth. How dare she?! How dare she try to... try to kill her?! He had hit her, under the impact of which she had fallen from the bed.
"Zoya ka naam apni gandi zubaan se fir liya toh main tumhari jaan le loonga! Nikal jao yahan se aur fir apni shakal kabhi mat dikhana. JAO!"
"Pa-par..."
"CHALI JAAOO!!!"
She had picked herself up somehow, and had left... looking back once to give them a glare.
oOo
Aap galat they Shelly sahab, aap galat they... sab logon ko doosra mauka nahi milta. Aur jinhe milta hai... woh unhe kho dete hain... Asad thought miserably.
"Abbu?"
Asad jerked out of his thoughts at the meek, squeaky voice of a child. He turned around to see a boy, barely five years old, standing at the door with a red ball in his tiny hands. He smiled widely and beckoned him to come inside.
Hamzah.
oOo
Asad had turned to leave the ward that day after the showdown with Tanveer, but the cries of a newborn baby made him stop dead in his tracks. He had promised to take his responsibility... but the baby wasn't his. Tanveer didn't bother throwing her child a second glance. She didn't need him anymore; it seemed... his purpose was unsuccessfully over.
But Asad couldn't just leave him there to live the life of an orphan. He knew very well how difficult it was for a child to grow up without a father... how could he let an innocent newborn live without parents? How would he survive? It wasn't his fault that his mother had destroyed so many lives...
He had walked up to the cradle to see a tiny baby, all wound up in white sheets, crying and unable to move. He carefully picked up the baby in his arms and rocked him a little, and just like a charm, he had stopped crying. It was at that moment that Asad decided; this boy would have a father, and a family. He couldn't let the boy become like his mother. He would bring up the child, away from all evil, away from his mother's dark shadow. Never would he know of his mother's existence. Never.
And now he couldn't imagine life without him. Hamzah, the bright ray of sunshine in his dull, cold, wintry life...
oOo
"Abbu kya hua?" the boy asked, pulling at his father's trousers to grab his attention.
Asad lifted Hamzah up and made him sit on his lap. "Kuch nahi beta. Bas kuchh soch raha tha" he said, ruffling his mop of hair.
Hamzah looked up at his abbu with a confused expression on his face. But then he pouted and said, "Abbu aap mele saath kheloge? Yahan khelne ke liye koi nai hai." He looked up at Asad with a hopeful expression in his eyes, something that Asad couldn't turn down no matter how sad he was. And that adorable, childish lisp... it could make anyone smile.
"Chalo" Asad smiled as he walked Hamzah out into the hotel's garden.
Asad was presently in Goa, attending a week-long business conference. All the great construction magnates of India were present there, and so was he. Dilshad had pestered him to take Hamzah along with him as well, since his summer vacations had started and he couldn't stay without his father for even one day.
He played with Hamzah throwing the ball back and forth at him. The child giggled and laughed freely... Asad couldn't fathom how this pure, innocent soul had survived inside his mother's, no, not "mother"; Tanveer's womb for nine months...
While thinking, he threw the ball a bit more forcefully than required and it went past the open main gate.
"Main laata hoon!" Hamzah jumped up and ran towards the gate.
"Ruko! Tez mat bhaagna, aur footpath se aagey mat badhna!" Asad shouted at the boy, who grinned and ran out.
oOo
A woman dressed in office formals walked slowly along the footpath, clutching her bag to herself. Numerous thoughts crossed her mind... she had to get back to her apartment, then get groceries for dinner... maybe she could order a piz... no, and then she had to prepare for next day's presentation at office. And then next day would be the same as this one... and the next, and the one after that.
Loneliness and monotony. That was what was left of her life.
She walked into someone small and stumbled backwards. Looking down she found a little boy, barely... what, five? He had fallen down but held a red ball tightly in his hands. And he looked like he was ready to cry.
She kneeled down and helped the boy up and smoothened his ruffled hair. She cupped his face, "Ssshhh! Please mat rona! Achhe bachhe nahi rote! Aunty se galti hogayi! Dekho unhone kaan bhi pakda hai" she said and held her ears.
The boy finally looked up at her. She noticed the change of expressions on his face... first, confusion; then, deep thought... and then, recognition? ...and finally, sheer amazement. The child stared at her with pure wonder in his eyes, as though he was looking at a celebrity.
"Aa-aap Angel ho na?" he asked.
"K-kya?" the woman was stumped. Now why would a child come out of nowhere and call her an "Angel" of all possible things?!
"Aap Angel hi ho." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. A declaration, rather.
There you have it madam. You have a perfectly adorable kid coming out of nowhere and declaring you to be an angel. Congratulations. Ab yeh toh har roz nahi hota. Aur tum abhi abhi soch rahi thi ki tumhari har din ek jaisi hai... the woman thought to herself.
She smiled widely till her dimples dug her cheeks... she hadn't smiled like that for a long time. "Thank you. Aapka bohot bohot shukriya" she said, and gently stroked his head. She stood up and turned around to leave, before tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She was tired of crying. She didn't want to cry anymore... not even out of happiness, like now. It had been a while since someone had showed her some love... a while, translating to five years. Five long years.
oOo
"Abbu! Muje abhi Angel mili!" Hamzah squealed excitedly as he ran into the garden again, ball in hand.
"K-kya? Kaun?" Did he hear right? No... it couldn't be...
"Angel, abbu! Aap ne bola tha!"
Asad went down on his knees. Could it be? After all this time... was he... was he finally going to get his life back? Was she... was she... here? He cupped Hamzah's face in his hands, "Beta aa-aap theek keh rahe ho na?" he asked.
Hamzah nodded.
Asad's eyes went wide and he rummaged through his pockets frantically to take out a photo and showed it to him. "Beta woh yehi thi na? Please bolo?" He was desperate to know now... Was she going to be returned to him on the same day he had lost her... half a decade back?
"Haan abbu!" Hamzah nodded enthusiastically.
Asad gasped and clasped his hands over his mouth. Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill any moment. He couldn't believe it... he was going to get her back... Finally...
"Woh kahan thi? Kahan mile app unse?"
"Bahar. Pal woh chali gayi... Muje Angel se baat karna hai abbu!" Hamzah whined.
"Zaroor baat karenge aap. Main abhi aap ke apki Angel to dhoond ke launga. Aap yehin rukiye, kahin mat jayiega."
"Ji abbu!"
And with that Asad broke into a run. She couldn't have gone far. He had to find her... he had to find Zoya before it was too late again. He couldn't miss this one final chance that destiny had given him...
oOo
It was not that Asad hadn't tried to look for Zoya before today. The first six months when he didn't know about his innocence and Tanveer's truth was the worst... he couldn't look for her even if he wanted to. But after that he had looked for her high and low. There was not a corner of Bhopal that he had left unsearched. She had changed her phone and her number... there was no way to track her down. He had travelled all the way to New York... but she wasn't there either. Her aapi and jeeju were equally clueless about her whereabouts as well... she had called them up to say the same thing, not to look for her, no matter what.
And after that he had lost all hope... until today.
He ran through the streets like a madman, his eyes darting to all directions for one glimpse of Zoya. He showed her picture to anyone and everyone whom he saw... but to no avail. No one recognised her.
Asad pulled his hair in frustration. Maybe... maybe Hamzah was wrong... after all he was only a child. But then... he was so sure... Asad felt as if he was hoping against hope now.
He stood in the middle of road, with all the cars whizzing by him. She wasn't there... anywhere. Maybe if he called her out... she would hear him. He screamed, "ZOOOYYYAAA!!!!"
oOo
Kyun? Kyun mujhe aaj baar baar unke khayal aa rahe hain? Kyun mujhe lag raha hai ki woh yehin hain, mere bohot kareeb... Kitni koshish ki main unhe bhula doon par... Ya Allah, main firse kamzor nahi hona chahti... the woman prayed as she walked her way to her apartment'... she couldn't call it home'.
"ZOOOYYYAAA!!!!"
She came to an abrupt halt. Was that... no, she was imagining things. It couldn't be him...
oOo
He spotted her. The woman at the end of the road had stopped walking as soon as he had screamed. He could see her backside but it was her. Her attire was different... a white shirt and grey pants... office formals. But he could recognise her from anywhere... It was Zoya.
He screamed again, "ZOOOYYAAA!!!"
oOo
And there it was again. It was him... it was unmistakeably him. That was the voice that haunted her dreams every night... and invaded her thoughts during the day. He was here. Her Mr. Khan was here...
Slowly, she turned back... and sure enough, there he was.
oOo
Asad knew that he was receiving stares from the people on the road but he couldn't care any less. He saw her turning back to look... and he ran. He dodged the traffic and nearly got run over but there was nothing that could stop him from reaching her now. As he neared her, he noticed. She was still the same... but for her eyes. There was a dead look in them... like the time when she was at the Madarsa. That naughty twinkle in her eyes was gone. But he could see a faint glimmer of hope in them... and tears. But he couldn't read her eyes... or her expressions. Was she not happy? Why wasn't she moving towards him? Why was she just standing there like a rock?
oOo
Zoya was confused. She didn't know what to feel... On one hand, she felt that she had finally found her life back... but on the other hand, wasn't he... wasn't he already married to Tanveer? Didn't he have a child who called him "Abbu"? Hadn't she asked him not to look for her again? Her head felt heavy with all these questions. She wasn't able to move... she stood there, facing him, like a statue.
"Kyun aaye aap yahan?" Zoya asked.
"Zo-Zoya yeh kya keh rahi hain aap?" Asad was shocked. This was the last thing that he had expected to hear.
"Kyun aaye aap yahan? Kyun mujhe firse kamzor banana chahte hain aap? Kyun Mr. Khan kyun? Maine kaha tha na aapse, mujhe dhoondhne ki koshish mat kijiye? Fir kyun?!"
"Nahi jee sakhta main tumhare bina Zoya! Khuda hi jaanta hai ki kaise maine tumhare bina yeh paanch saal kate! Please wapis chalo Zoya... please!"
"Kaise jaoon main Mr. Khan? Aur kyun? Aur... aur Tanveer? Woh to ab aapki legally wedded wife hai na?"
"Uss dhokhebaaz ka naam apne mooh se mat lo Zoya. Usne humari zindagi barbaad karke rakh diya hai..."
"Ma-matlab?"
Asad proceeded to tell her about all that had happened after she left. Tanveer's treachery... and how he had tried to search for her... and Hamzah. In the end, she was speechless and in tears...
"Mr. Khan... Mr. Khan I don't know what to say... Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki main kya... Par mujhe iss baat ki bohot khushi hai ki aapne Hamzah ko apna beta banaya. Ek masoom bachhe ko uski ammi ke gunahon ka sazaa nahi milna chahiye. Aur iss baat ke liye mera aapke liye mohobbat sau guna badh gaya hai... Aap mere guroor hain Mr. Khan, aur meri zindagi bhi."
"Aur aap meri." Asad said and pulled her into his arms. He nuzzled into her hair while she closed her eyes and sighed. They basked in each other's warmth, all their emptiness disappearing. They were one again.
oOo
"Abbu!" Asad and Zoya were greeted by an excited shriek from Hamzah as soon as they entered the gate of the hotel, only to find the little boy running up to them. Zoya was not a least bit surprised to see that he was same boy who had called her "Angel" sometime ago... after all, who else but Mr. Khan would teach him that?
"Angel!" Hamzah screeched just as he saw Zoya, who went down on her knees to give the kid a tight hug. Hamzah hugged her back as well... and somewhere, Zoya felt complete.
She broke the hug after sometime and held Hamzah by his shoulders and spoke to him softly, "Beta, aapke abbu ne aapko mujhe Angel bolna sikhaya tha na?"
Hamzah nodded.
"Par beta, main toh Angel nahi hoon."
Asad looked at Zoya questioningly... she wasn't the kind to break anyone's heart... then why...?
Hamzah's face fell, "Toh fil, aap kaun ho?"
Zoya smiled, "Main toh aapki ammi hoon!"
The joy on Hamzah's face was unmistakeable. He jumped into Zoya's arms and started sobbing, "Aa-aap kaha they ammi? Sc-school mein sa-sabke ammi the... bas meli hi nahi... aap kaha they ammi?"
"Yehi thi beta... bas kahin kho gayi thi..." Zoya whispered as she rubbed her son's back to calm him down... there was no way she would let him feel the absence of a mother again...
She looked up at Asad with a smile, who smiled back at her, proudly. That's why she was his Zoya... it didn't take her a single moment of hesitation to make that woman's child, her own. She really is an Angel, he thought, as his mind drifted to a story he had told Hamzah not so long ago...
oOo
"Abbu! Mujhe ninni nai aa lahi! Ek kahani sunao na!" demanded Hamzah one night.
"Kahani? Kaisi kahani beta?" Asad asked. Bedtime stories were not his forte; it was his ammi's. But she was asleep now...
"Failytale!" he exclaimed.
Asad thought for a while and an idea struck him.
"Theek hai. Ye bohot pehle ki baat hai. Ek Raja tha. Woh bohot Akdu tha aur kabhi bhi nahi hansta tha. Woh chahta tha ki saari duniya uske mutabik chale. Chhoti chhoti baat pe bohot gussa karta tha. Par ek din, uske mahal mein ek Angel rehne aayi mehman bankar. Woh Raja ki baat kabhi nahi maanti thi. Woh hamesha hansti thi aur logon ko khush karti thi. Aur Raja ko yeh bilkul bhi pasand n nahi tha. Isiliye woh usey bohot daant te the aur rulate the. Angel roti thi... par woh baad mein Raja ko maaf bhi kar deti thi. Yeh dekhkar Raja ne socha, ki yeh main kya kar raha hoon? Kyun usey itna dard deta hoon? Raja dheere dheere khud ko badalne laga aur usey Angel se pyaar ho gaya. Angel bhi unse bohot pyaar karti thi. Lekin yeh baat ek Chudail ko pasand nahi thi. Usne Raja aur Angel ko alag kar diya... aur Angel chali gayi. Raja ko bohot dukh hua, aur unhone Chudail ko bohot daanta, aur usey bhaga diya!"
"Abbu, Angel kaisi dikhti thi?" inquired a sleepy Hamzah.
Asad took out a photo from his pocket... Zoya's, and showed it to Hamzah. "Bilkul aisi" he smiled.
"Angel bohot shundal thi abbu..." Hamzah said as he fell asleep.
oOo
Lagta hai ab mujhe ending change karke, "Fir Raja aur Angel apne bete ke saath khushi khushi rehne lage" karna padega. Aur Shelley sahab, aap galat nahi they... Asad thought as he joined the new mother and son in their group hug.
No matter how long the winter is, spring does follow it. All you have to do is never give up hope, for life always gives chances to people who deserve them...
______________________________________________________________________
Entry #2
By : stereohearts200
Our Dysfunctional Utopia
She has come back. Despite living under the same roof again for nearly a month we have not talked. Of anything extraordinary that is.
She has come for Ayaan and Humeira's wedding. Because of this, it would seem redundant for her to be staying at our residence, but it would be absolutely illogical, had she not.
All was said and done 2 years ago, the hurtful words and unspoken "sorry's", the betrayal of who was once a dear friend, and above all, an unneeded event that put the word "ridiculous" to shame. We were both to blame, but as I see it one exceptionally more than the other. And then she did, what even I, despite my feelings felt was right for her to do.
She left.
Yet the uneasiness the events had brought remained. Overstayed its welcome. Even now, when she was back, in front of me sipping her morning cup with her soul mate, if I may, in hand. I most probably shall never see a couple so perfect for each other as Ms. Farooqui and her I-pad.
Slight comic relief is necessary when the weight of words become too burdensome to carry.
But she had been carrying the burden of her unspoken words for far too long, to the point where her fatigue after a mere exchange of greetings was noticeable. Expecting her to have the courage to love me once more is something I cannot do. I cannot blame her for being human, for being able to feel, and to want to avoid pain, as that is all my fate has allowed me to give her.
Although I do feel helpless when I see her struggling, fighting with herself. It must be indefinably difficult to have to fight your own heart. I have known this feeling, but in different context, at a different time, when love was an emotion foreign and romance nothing but a caricature of stupidity. For now, my only occupation is to obey the commands of my heart, to not be foolish once more. Yet all it tells me of is my undying love for her, its only command is to love her.
And I will. Always did, always have, and always will. For as long as my heart shall beat, literal and figurative.
And over these past 2 years I realized that love was not exactly selfless, if anything it was selfish. Its greed lied in the happiness of the one who had conquered your kingdom. And she had conquered my lonely kingdom in a battle I was destined to lose. A perfect kingdom, was a philosophical thought and an impossible reality. But under her reign, perfection feels unnecessary.
She has not gone into a stereotypical and cliched heartbroken shell as one would assume, no not at all. She has matured, in two years she has become the dutiful lady I wanted to see her transform into myself. She is still as sarcastic as ever, unapologetic, opinionated, and disagreeable. Ammi would have been proud and I... I wouldn't have wanted to see her any other way.
But if I may use the overused phrase myself, when she is with me, "her smile does not reach her eyes." Perhaps she does not allow it to.
With the half bitten toast still in my hands, I looked back at her seat, the same one she had 2 years ago, the sight of an empty but used chair greeted my eyes. I shall go shower, for it is unfortunate, but my "manly fragrance" was not invited to thesangeet.
-~-~-~
Though she will always look beautiful to me, I would find it disgustingly insulting to her if I do not acknowledge the fact that today, she looked impossible. Surreal. Like a figment of my imagination. I was afraid she'd disappear if I dare blinked.
She was wearing some color, it did not matter which, it was the way she wore it that left me without words to praise. Her poise, the way her eyes spoke, the way her lips observed, the way her heart smiled...mesmerized was a gross attempt describing my situation.
She stood in front of me and finally spoke,
"It was not effortlessly done," she waited patiently.
"Yes of course, but it was worth your while. There could not be a better endowment for the eyes. "
"You are very generous with your words Mr. Khan,"
"I beg to differ with you on that front, Ms. Farooqui,"
"Please do not bother straining yourself with the endeavor, it would not be worthyour while," She distastefully said, almost stated.
Her distance, I understood. Her detachment, I understood. I would learn to understand it all.
But her belief that I felt the same way, I could not. Nor could I accept it.
"And what makes you so sure of that?"
"Mr. Khan we both know you have better things to do than to be standing here about discussing the degree in which you have or should praise me," She simply stated, her audacious eyes looking into mine after that lie that once again, she almost made sound like a statement.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt.
"If that is what you believe," I captured the brilliance of her eyes, hoping it would last me a lifetime knowing very well it would absolutely not, "...then I must inform you that you are wrong. I would not ever have anything better to do when it came to you." I stated leaving for the car.
To please you, to cherish you, and to love you.
"And why is that!" I heard her from the door.
Why was she doing this? Why was she making it harder than it already was, more difficult for me to give her what she wanted?
"I asked you a question Mr. Khan? Why am I, anything related to me, any sort of priority in your eyes?"
"You know the answer to that Ms. Farooqui,"
"I did Mr. Khan, at one point I did. But today I don't nor do I have the right to."
And that was all that I would tolerate.
"You will always have the right to know Ms. Farooqui. And in this matter, my life nor death had any significance," I went out of limits and flowered her face between the leaves of my palms. She fought with the tears that were threatening to fall. "Zoya, I let you go because you wanted to live without being hurt. I am not pursuing you because my love does not allow me to be so self-centered. But I want you to be free from the misconception that my feelings have changed even the slightest in these two years. Zoya Farooqui, it has been you, from the very moment I even began to fathom this captivating and consuming feeling that has hysterically taken over me body and soul. I love you Zoya, my feelings for you are timeless, without a tense. And that is the one and only explanation, the only truth of my existence."
She didn't speak. She just cried. Her tears went from a trickle to a storm. Her resolve had been broken, the unspoken words had been uttered, and she had been defeated. I felt guilty until I felt her embrace, warm against the refreshing foggy Bhopal morning, it was one of a victor.
"I tried, I tried so very hard..." she cried.
"Shh..." I caressed her long tresses. Only I know, how severely I had longed for this. The fulfilling pleasure I felt at that moment, with her in my arms, succumbing to her heart, it felt absurd. As if it was all an illusion.
"I love you," she cried, "I love you more than you can imagine Asad, I always have," her sobs became uncontrollable. "Why do I love you so much?" Her grip grew tighter.
"I'm not going anywhere," I assured her.
She didn't assure me of the same. But she didn't refute either. The kiss was muddled with emotions, it resembled the fog. Unclear. Unsure. Disfigured and flawed. But still there.
Existing.
"It's only a contract. It's best that you keep that in mind." Zoya's lips quivered, she didn't know how she'd got herself into all that mess. The man who'd once claimed to love her, had also turned out to be the man who would hurt her most. Zoya clasped her mouth, to stop those sobs which were threatening to escape her lips, she squeezed her eyes shut, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. He stoically said, "There used to be a time when you meant more than the world to me, but I never in my life thought you would be the one who would betray me." Zoya screamed, "But what did I do?! How did I betray you?!" Asad's eyes filled up with tears, but they mostly out of anger, he gritted his teeth and hissed at her, "So, you really don't know?" Zoya shook her head, indicating a no. His fists clenched tightly into a ball, he whispered, as a few tears escaped his eyes, "Traitor."
Asad's fists met with a wall, once again. His eyes were bloodshot, he collapsed on his bed, as his fists made contact with the hard surface of the wall, for the last time. He screamed out in frustration, as tears slid down his cheeks. His heart had shattered the very second the bitter revelation of Zoya's true nature had been thrown at him. His heart filled with a stabbing pain, every time he reminisced their sweet, love filled past. He'd thought that those hard core walls that he'd built around his heart, had finally been broken down, but they'd enclosed his heart, once again, after being betrayed by the very woman who taught him to see the world around him. He sat up on his bed and sobbed, his head in his hands. His agonized heart was screaming in pain, he found that same curse of a memory flooding into his mind, yet again. If only he could look further into the deep realms of the fateful secret...
Tanveer thrust the recorder into his hands, her heart jumping in triumph. Asad stared at her quizzically, he asked her, "What's this, Tannu?" Tanveer immediately soured her expression and replied in fake bitterness, "I'm sorry, Jammy. Please, don't ask me anything. Just listen to the recording, you will understand everything." Asad's eyebrows furrowed, as he tried to make meaning out of her unclear statement. He looked down at the recorder, he slowly brought his hand up and pressed the play button. A familiar voice rung into his ears, "Here, take this money. Once my marriage with Mr. Khan is completed, you can have the rest of it." Asad's eyes widened in shock, as he heard the next words, "God! I need to pretend that I love that man, for all that money he has! If he finds out about my actual intentions...well, I guess, I still have a plan, I'm Zoya Farooqui, right? I'll just threaten him, saying that I'll kill his mother and sister." The recorder fell out of Asad's hands. He looked up at Tanveer, utterly shocked. Tanveer placed her hand on Asad's shoulder, as she feigned sympathy, "Jammy, now you know who she actually is. It's best that you report her to the police, right away." Asad stared at the recorder lying on the floor, he whispered in shock, "I'm not believing this." Tanveer sighed and held out a picture in front of him, to see. Asad stared at the picture, there she was, handing over money to some guy. Tanveer cunningly asked, "Now, what do you say, Jammy? Report her to the police." Asad took the picture in his hands and blankly stared at it, he replied, "No, if she actually does something to my ammi, or Najma, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I'll marry her, but it'll only be a contract, I'll hand her over to the police when I'm sure that she won't be able to harm my family."
13 days later
Asad caught hold of Zoya and yelled into her face, "Why do you act like you're innocent?! I have the proof right in my hands and you still have the audacity to defend yourself?!" "That is a fake picture, that's not me! As for the recording, that's not my voice either! Someone is setting me up!", screamed a distraught Zoya. Asad glared at her at her, disgusted by her trail of never ending lies. "The contract ends tomorrow. We're no longer husband and wife. The police can deal with you, now. If I even see you get just anywhere close to my family, I'll kill you and I mean that.", he hissed. He walked away, leaving a completely broken Zoya behind. She stared at his retreating form, her lips quivering. She slowly walked towards the dining table, staring at a knife glimmering under the morning rays of the sun. She kept her fixed on it, for a few seconds before picking it up. Just out of a hunch, Asad turned around. The next thing he knew, blood was shooting out of Zoya's wrist, her body lying motionless on the floor.
5 hours later:
Asad held his head in his hands and cried, he'd thought of Zoya to be a traitor, but when the truth had hit him, it had left him shattered. The woman he'd considered as a murderer, had taught him in an extremely painful way, that she wasn't the beast that he'd thought her to be. The very thought of losing her made his whole body shudder. He couldn't lose her after all the agony that he'd made her face, for no fault of hers. The operation theatre's door opened and the surgeon walked out. Asad immediately jumped up and bombarded the doctor with questions, "Doctor, is she fine? Can I see her now? Is she awake?" She smiled at him, "Yes, she's fine and you may go and see her, but she's very weak, at the moment. Please keep her away from any sort of stress." Asad nodded and rushed into the room, only to find her staring into thin air, tears streaming down her cheeks. He took short, careful steps towards her. He stopped at her bedside and softly called out, "Zoya?" She looked up at him, Asad felt a huge stab at his heart, as those tormented eyes bore into his own. His voice cracked as tears made their way to his eyes, "Are you ok?" "That wouldn't be your concern.", she replied, bitterly. Asad was taken aback, with the harshness of her voice, he sat down beside her and took hold of one of her hands, but Zoya was quick to shrug herself away. She moved away to the other end of the bed, keeping as much as distance as she could, from him. Asad slowly whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every single time I hurt you in the past three months. I'm sorry for not trusting you." Zoya stared at him, perplexed, she didn't know what he was apologizing for. After all, he thought of her as an ungrateful, cheap beast. Asad hung his head in shame and quietly said, "I should have believed you, when you said that someone had set you up. Tanveer had planned all of this."
Dilshaad was too shocked to recover from the impact of what she'd just heard. She looked at Asad and asked, with no sort of expression of playing on her face, "Your and Zoya's marriage was just based on a contract?" Asad nodded, staring at the floor, Dilshaad further questioned, "And you broke the girl's heart, because you heard a recording which sounded faintly like Zoya's voice and a picture where you can't even see the girl's face clearly?" Asad didn't respond for this question, Dilshaad's voice cracked as she asked the next question, "Now, she's so broken that she wanted to commit suicide and she's battling for her life, right now. Whose fault is that?" Asad hung his head in shame. For him, it might have been Zoya who'd committed the crime in the first place, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. Dilshaad stared at her son, as tears rolled down her cheeks, she whispered in between in her tears, "Is this what I taught you?" Asad kept mum, as a few tears escaped his eyes. Dilshaad was about leave, but right then, something struck her. She quickly walked up to Asad and snatched the photo out of his hand, she stared at the photo for a few seconds, before yelling, "Tanveer!"
A resounding slap echoed through the living room, as Dilshaad's hand met with Tanveer's face. She caught her by her shoulders and shook her vigorously, she bellowed at her, "You did this to Zoya didn't you?! You betrayer!" Asad rushed over to his infuriated mother and tried free Tanveer from her grip. He yelled, "Ammi! What are you saying?! What has Tanveer got to do in this?! All she did was help us!" "No, she didn't!", she retorted. She turned over and looked at Asad, with furious eyes, she thrust the photo back into his hand and screamed, "This photo is fake! The person in the photo is actually Tanveer!" Asad's eyes darted over to the photo and back to Dilshaad. He stared at her in confusion, Dilshaad pointed to the ring on Tanveer's ring finger, on her left hand and then she placed the tip of her finger on the ring on the left hand of the girl in the photo. "They're the same. It's Tanveer.", she said. Asad's eyes widened in blatant shock, his eyes sprang up to meet with Tanveer, whose face had gone red with rage. She was scowling at Dilshaad, hatefully. Asad walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders, "Why did you do this?! Why?!" Tanveer shrugged him off and screamed into his face, "To marry you!"
Asad squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memory of the next series of events. "I'm sorry.", he whispered, again, as more tears made their way to his eyes. Zoya was pretty shaken, herself. Her lips quivered in fear, as she tried to find her voice, "Ta...Tanveer did this? But...but what did I ever do to her?" "Nothing.", Asad replied, "She wanted to get rid of you, so that she could marry me, for my money and for her illegitimate child." Zoya stared at him in shock, she asked, "Illegitimate child?" Asad nodded and replied, "She was that cheap, I was a fool to have ever trusted her. But she's the past, we should move on." Asad's hand, made it's way towards Zoya's, he gently curled his fingers around her hand and whispered, "I wanna start again." Zoya looked away, she didn't know if she could forgive him after all the insults and pain that she'd been through in the past months, because of his mistrust on her. Asad could see the dilemma she was in, through the confusion clearly written on her face. His hands made their way over to her face and caressed her cheeks, he begged, "Please, just give me this one last chance to correct myself." Zoya looked at Asad with teary eyes. "Please?", he asked again. Zoya reluctantly nodded, a minute smile playing upon her lips. Asad wrapped both his arms around her waist and crushed her against him, in a hug. She was a little taken aback, with his force, but she soon relaxed and laid her head on his chest, with her palms resting on his shoulders. They parted after a little while and Asad caressed her cheeks again , he leaned forward a little and rested his forehead on hers, "I love you." Zoya smiled at him, tearfully. He'd finally uttered those three words that she been dying to hear. He asked her, "Aren't you going to say anything?" Zoya shook her head, indicating a no. Asad smiled at her and replied, "You'll have to say it someday, or the other." Zoya pounced on to him and engulfed him in a hug, once again, burying her face into his shoulder. Asad ran his hand over her back, while stroking her head, affectionately. He whispered into her hair, "We were made for each other. No one's gonna separate us now.", Zoya smiled against his shoulder and replied, "Stop being so cheesy." "I'm not being cheesy, I'm just saying the truth.", he replied, smiling widely. Zoya shrugged, still hugging him, "Whatever." He pulled away, his expression turning serious once again. Zoya's forehead creased in confusion, as she noticed his eyes well up, once again. He said, "I need you to make a promise on something." "On what?", she asked. He whispered, as his voice cracked, "I need you to promise that you'll never hurt yourself again. Never." Zoya smiled and took his hand in hers, she replied, "I promise, I'll never hurt myself, again. Happy?" Asad smiled at her, contentedly. "I love you.", he stated, once again.
The Sunshine Of His Life
A man lost in his thought was looking out the window; the snow was falling on the ground forming a white blanket, covering with it the colors of nature. The winter had come yet again, bringing with its memories. A period when he experienced the biggest pain in this world, the pain of losing someone, someone which is really close to your heart, someone who is your life, your world, without whom you can't even breath for a second.
Asad Ahmed Khan was standing in front of a huge window of his room in Shimla, wearing a grey waist coat above a white shirt, white just like the snow, and grey pants.
He turned and rested his back against the window frame "I'm missing you" he whispered looking at the photo frame on the bed side table. Of course he was missing her; she was his life, his world.
He moved toward the table and took the photo into his hands, "Zoya, how would it be if you were here!" he murmured caressing the frame gently, he was looking at the picture of a girl, correction his girl; she was his girl, his everything, his first love.
Asad moved to the window and looking at the picture he said "it was a night like this, a cold winter's night when I . . ." the words died in his throat as the memories of that night started running in his mind:
"Miss Farooqi, what is this" Asad yelled entering her room without even knocking, "don't be smart" he muttered seeing her sitting on her bed with her beck to him, she didn't reacted even a bit making his irritation rise till his head, he glared at her with angry eyes and moved to her "if you think I will let it pass then you are wrong" he said putting a hand on her shoulder, making her jump on the other side of the bed screaming "aah!!!"
Zoya was listening music on her iPod, when suddenly she felt someone gripping her shoulder tightly, she just jumped on the other side of the bed while her heart was beating fast, she rotated and found Asad staring at her with an are you normalexpression, "you scared the hell out of me Mr. Khan" she complained putting a hand on her heart and trying to make her breath normal.
"Can you explain this to me?" he said coming toward her and hinting to something in his hand, it was a piece of cloth different shades of color.
"Oh that Mr. Khan" she said taking little steps toward him hesitantly, "seems like you have to buy a new one" she said giving him a nervous smile and putting her iPod on the edge of the bed
"How it happened Miss Farooqi" Asad asked arching his brows and showing her the piece of cloth
"The way it is supposed to happen Mr. Khan" she said raising her shoulders "I wander how can he run an empire, when he is not able to figure out a simple thing like this" she thought looking at him staring at the cloth with a disgusting look.
"Stop calling me Mr. Khan" he warned her taking a step toward her
"You stop calling me Miss. Farooqi first" she said pointing a finger toward him and taking a step backwards "at least I'm calling you with your surname" she added looking at his raised brows
"Well I too am calling you with your surname, this doesn't have sense" he said shaking his head "she is really weird" he thought
"Well" she said taking a step toward him, "I'm going to be Mrs. Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan in few hours, so you are calling me with the wrong surname" she said opening her arms
"Well, would-be-Mrs. Khan" Asad said pulling her toward him from her wrist "technically you are not my wife yet" he said lifting his brows and smirking at her, he made her turn, now her back was against his toned chest, he encircled his hands around her waist and rested them on her flat belly "I swear, I can't wait for that moment, when you will be my wife" he whispered into her ear sending a shiver down her spin, she could read between the lines, her cheeks turned crimson red, she closed her eyes when she felt his lips brushing her neck.
"Asad"
She freed herself from his manly hold when he got distracted by Dilshaad's voice "stay in your limits" she said turning to him with a finger pointed on his chest
"And what if I don't want to be?" Asad said mischievously taking a step toward her
"From where did the sun raise today" she thought looking at him with a sunned expression
"look Mr. Khan, maybe I look modern, which actually I am, but this doesn't mean I can let you do what you want" Zoya blabbered going backwards till she didn't hit the edge of the bed
"oh really" he asked arching his one brow, seeing her nodding he added "well who was the one who sneaked into my room last night" her jaw dropped and eyes winded.
"oh that" she said putting her index finger on her right cheek "actually Mr. Khan I didn't sneak into your room, I just come to check if you remember to collect your sherwani" she managed to come up with a reasonable excuse.
Asad looked at her with an "unbelievable" expression.
"Asad where are you?" Dilshaad's voice echoed in the house
"see you later, don't be late" he said tapping her nose and making her blush furiously; Asad started walking toward the door, leaving a day dreaming Zoya behind, "By the way, how did you managed to ruin my favorite shirt" he asked reaching the door and turning toward her
"I washed it with Najma's Anarkali and its color went on your shirt" she said locking her strands behind the ear nervously, fearing for his temper, Asad shock his head "next time don't try to wash any of my cloths, I don't want to go around appearing like a parrot" and with that he left her room, making her fume in anger "I was just trying to help you Mr. Akkru Ahmed Khan" she yelled and slammed the door of her room.
"Yeh kabhi nahi sudhre ge" Dilshaad said after hearing Zoya's voice and after few second Asad's reply and yet again another fight took place.
* * *
All were waiting for Zoya to come and celebrate the wedding ceremonies, "seems like Miss Farooqi forgot that today is our wedding" Asad cursed going back and further at the entrance of the hotel, with his head bend on his phone, he was trying to call her for past one hour, but her phone was out of reach.
His phone started ringing, he looked at the screen Miss. Farooqi was flashing on it, and he took the call
"Where are you? Get yourself here soon" he blasted not even letting her say anything
"Mr. Khan right?" someone asked fearfully from the other end
"Yes" Asad replied confused, he again looked at his phone's screen and he can clearly see Zoya's number "who are you? And how did you get that phone" he asked while a strange feeling was invading his body, he felt like he was losing something, something important, but what?
Well he didn't need to wait for long, since the reply come from the other end of the phone "Sir I'm calling you to inform that she had an accident, I just took her to the hospital and she's critical" Asad felt like someone had just stabbed his heart mercilessly, his hold on the phone loosened and it fell on the ground, Asad stayed numb, his eyes lost their spark, he fall on the floor on his keens screaming "NO!!!!" with all his force.
Dilshaad, Najma and Asad were sitting outside the operation theatre and were waiting for the doctors to come out and say something on Zoya's condition, Dilshaad looked at her son and putting a hand on his shoulder she whispered "She is strong and I know my Allah will never let anything happens to her" Asad didn't moved an inch, his mind was filled with her memories, she is the one who brought colors into his black and white life, just like she managed to turn his white shirt into a multicolor mess, he smiled when the scene comes to his mind, she is the warm into his cold life, so how can she leave him like this, after teaching him how to smile, how to find solace in small things that life offers you "no she can't leave me" his brain cried, and he get up, he was going to leave from there when the operation theatre's door got open and the doctor come out, Dilshaad and Najma run to him.
"How's my Zoya" Dilshaad asked to the doctor
"We did our best, but we can't . . ." the doctor was cut off
"Nothing is going to happen to her, nothing, she can't go like this" Asad yelled at the doctor grabbing his collar.
"I told you guys that we would find him like this" a voice brought Asad back from his reveries; he turned toward the door of his room and was surprised to see the sight before him.
"What are you doing here?" he yelled going toward the people that had just entered his room
"We come to give you company Mr. Khan" Zoya said smiling brightly at him
"Zoya are you mad?" Asad asked reaching her "don't you know that it's not safe to travel in a weather like this with a baby" he took the baby from her hands and kissing his forehead he looked at Zoya with an exasperated look, the baby gurgled at him and hold his index finger when he tried to caress his cheek "I can expect this madness from her, but not from you two" he added looking at the other two souls standing next to Zoya.
"Bhai Jaan we have taken the necessary precautions before traveling with the baby and I know you were missing Bhabhi jaan so we come" Ayaan said winking at his brother and making Zoya's cheek turn pink.
"I hope for you Ayaan" Asad warned his brother, even though from inside he was really happy to see his family there, with him.
"Salaam Walaykum Bhai Jaan" Humeira said smiling at him, and at the same time try to stop Ayaan from saying anything further.
"I don't know how you handle this clown of a brother I have" Asad replied shaking his head and making Ayaan's jaw drop while Humeira and Zoya burst out laughing.
And all moved into the room and started asking how he was and what he did till now.
"Okay Bhai Jaan you guys carry one, we are going" said Ayaan getting up after few minutes of chatting
"You are going already back?" Asad asked confused sitting on the chair with the baby into his lap
"Who said we are going back, no ways, we are going to stay here" Ayaan said winking at Asad, try to hint something that he didn't get, Asad looked at him with an annoyed expression "care to explain"
"they are going to stay in a hotel" Zoya explained looking at Asad's confused face, she took the baby from his hands and get up to put him on the bed as he was fast asleep.
"Why in a hotel? You can stay here" Asad said looking at Ayaan and Humeira, he too gets up and moved toward the bed.
"Thanks for the offer Bhai Jaan, but I want to celebrate my honeymoon, alone" Ayaan completed, getting weird looks from the other three "I mean just me and Humeira" he added after realizing what he said.
"But you just had a honeymoon two months ago?" Asad stated helping Zoya to adjust the baby on the bed.
"well Bhai Jaan the thing is that" Ayaan said taking Humeira's hand and started moving backwards "you had already your bundle of joy, but we not, so we have to try to get it" Ayaan said in one breath and rushed out of the room dragging Humeira with him, and leaving a traumatized Asad behind "really he said those words" he thought with his gaze still on the closed door.
"And what are you thinking" Zoya asked searching for another duvet, the weather was really cold, and she didn't want her little baby to fall sick, because if it happens Mr. Asad Ahmed Khan will raise the whole Shimla on his head.
"nothing, why do you never listen to me Zoya?" he said coming to her and helping her to take down the duvet from the shelf, "I always listen to you Mr. Khan, the different is that I listen to your heart and not what you say, I know you were missing us so we come" she replied turning to him and giving him a heartwarming smile, he hugged her tightly, she was right, he was desperately missing them, they are his life, his wife and his son, if before it was just her now there was their son too, they are his everything, his world, his own heaven on earth where he can refuge from the outside world, where he is just a caring husband and lovely father.
He pulled from the hug and kissing her forehead whispered "thanks for always listening to my heart" he started stroking her cheek with his knuckles, he looked into her deep and expressive eyes, he can see love, concern for him into them, just with her mere presence she is able to solace his heart, just by saying his name she is able to soothe him and just by a kiss she is able to erase his pain; indeed she is his soul mate, she is able to understand him just by a glance, none can take her place, none can be like her, she is unique piece, a little crazy but a lot caring.
Asad bend his head a little and took her bottom lips into his, he sucked it gently, waking deep desires in her, she clutched his shirt and started responding to the kiss, which started as a gentle kiss soon turned into a passionate one, they were communicating throw their kiss, they were saying how much they missed each other, how much they are important for each other, but especially how much they love each other. After a long kiss they pulled apart to catch breath "Thanks for being my sunshine on the coldest days" he whispered resting his head against hers, finally Asad's heart felt at home, finally he was complete.
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Topic started by GulaabiAakhein.
Last replied by GulaabiAakhein.