SS: Meri adhoori kahaani- pt 6 pg 29 7/7/13

            God I so wish to have thought of listening to my smartest brain rather than my stupid useless heart of not coming out in this hall, If I had never stepped out of the kitchen then I wouldn't have been stopped by these random people whom I never met and nor I would had to stand up here like a statue. Yes. I stood in this big hall which now seems to me very small and congested for some reason today, well whatever where was I, oh yes I was saying I am standing beside my sister who was sitting in front of these random people with her head bend down and I stood staring at the floor as if that was the most beautiful obsession thing to stare at for now as these people asked her question like if She knew how to cook, till where have She studied, etc, etc. Yes these people had came to see my sister for the marriage proposal, who is just 3 years older than me,  while I was lost in my own thought hoping for the best for my sister and praying to God to give the best in-laws just like my other two sister, who was happy living with their in-laws and I could ask nothing more from God, I had always wanted the best for my sisters, this was the only wish I had truly wanted it to come true, my sisters happiness with their husband and in-laws, this life has been harsh on us, we had faced a lot in such an tender age that left us with nothing but pain, but I was happy for my sister as they were married to a person who gave them only love and happiness that we couldn't get and today again I was standing there lost in my thought as the bitter events of our life came across my mind not paying attention to anything that was going around this room, lost in thinking that why couldn't our lives be just like an fairytale, just like in TV serials where u get love from all and any people, but coming back to reality, also in TV shows they have to face problem but the bottom point is that at the end everything is perfect for them, but here for us, for me life is not always about having a perfect & happy ending  or love nor its about getting what u desire, for me it's about pain, grief, broken trust, heart, betrayal and most important of all fear to lose yourself. Yes for most not all thought, life has a happy ending love story, but for me it's nothing like this. I won't deny the fact that what my sister couldn't get before they got after married are now getting what they had wished for, a life filled with happiness and love, but with me, it's not the same. I am a girl who is scared to take a single step without thinking of it consequences that I will have to face and once I am sure this step will not hurt me then only I intend to take that step, because simple as it is I am scared to get hurt, I am scared to give more scar to this shattered heart, I have no one, simply no one beside me to heal my broken heart, to heal me to give me love. I am a girl, whose dreams are shattered before I can even dream of it with my closed eyes, I am a girl who wants something from life but is scared to voice it out, not wanting to get back a hard slap across my cheek from this life, coz at every point of my life, my hopes, my wants, has been crushed under the feet of this life, world, and by my own destiny.  

"Beta" I heard my mom whispering to me as she nudge on my hand bringing me from my thought and I looked at her giving her a weak smile and whispered back to her saying "what happened Maa"

"Go help your sisters in the kitchen to bring in some snacks" My mother said in lower voice as she looked at the people giving them a smile. I just simply nodded and left for kitchen, as I was leaving I heard a lady saying about my attire, which made me to look at myself from bottom to top, hoping nothing was there, but then took a sigh relieve hearing the comment passed of how simple I was dressed in, I slightly shook my head as I made my to kitchen but somehow couldn't get over with a man chuckle whose voice I heard and had this kind of feeling that I had surly heard his voice before, as I passed toward the other side of the hall where men were sitting all together, upon reaching their I went to my oldest sister Aisha and hugged her from behind resting my chin on her shoulder and said "Aisha Di what is wrong in my dress, why are they talking about my dressing" as I said that I heard her and my other sister Suman Didi who was younger to her chuckling and then I gave them both a angry glare making them shut up, and I pouted at them turning around, making my sister to stop doing what they were doing and they both came to me, and said "no Muskan baby nothing is wrong in your dress, its just that you dressed very simple, thats why they talking like this, you know na now a day's its very difficult to find such a girl who is just dress in simple salwar suit without any jewelry or even a earring on or few bangles on or without makeup " hearing that I again give them a glare saying sternly "well then I am not one of those girl to wear those kind thing, coz I simply hate them." Yes it is true I am not a person who goes after any kind of jewelry, the only thing you will find on my entire body  is a taweez in black thick thread tied around my neck and that too because of my Mom, and that too is always tucked inside my kurti, other than that I had stopped wearing any jewelry long time ago, well since the day I stopped  living my life. For anything I was happy in this life for having my mom, dad and sister and my one brother in my life, for me they were the one where my life started and they were the one on whom it ended. Keeping my thought aside I lifted juice tray and went after my sisters and placed them on the table, and went back in the kitchen, because I hate to go in front of any people either it be a person my family knew since ages or my sister friends or an stranger, but not before giving a glare to that one men, who sat there with a smile playing on his lips as he stared at me, as if  I was his favorite dish to be eaten, ughh I hated his gaze on me, but couldn't have said anything to him, after all they had came to see my Neha Di...

"Maa what did they say, did they like Di or not" I asked as I helped my Maa in kitchen as I washed the dishes.

"No beta, not yet, they had said that they will call us and let us know" Maa answered me as she kept the plate in to the cabinet.

"Maa have you really checked on this boy and family, I mean they are good na" I asked her because of my inner fear as I was scared to give my sister hand into bad hands, where they will not respect her.

"Your cousin has checked on everything from different people, and they all are saying that boy is very nice and the family too" She replied giving me assuring look. After that we both quietly did the kitchen work and left for sleeping in hope to hear a yes for this alliance...

To be Continued...