OS Series - Vignettes - Part 5. Ahem!

Hello all!

This one's slightly off the beaten track as far as my writing is concerned. I had actually opened up my word processor to upload another OS and for some reason, I started typing up this one! Maybe my mind and hands were taken over by the hero's spirit and he used me to communicate his frustration!

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it...And do leave your comments, please!

Life wasn't going well for him. He had been a good son, a good grandson, and a good brother all his life. He had been a dutiful student, hell, he'd graduated with honours from Harvard! He was a force to be reckoned with in the corporate world. He'd met, fallen in love and married a beautiful, wonderful girl. But Akash wasn't happy, no sir!

His basic issue was his family. Raizada's were a big family, and a mad one. Everyone was happy in their own world - Di and Nani in their Mandir-Pooja routine, his mother in her make-up land, his father oscilatting between office work and riling up his mother, NK bhai happily living his dream vacation, and the goat, well, even the goat was happy. His problem was that even though everyone lived their own happy lives, they all had the habit of dropping whatever they should've been doing and popping up at random places at the most inoppurtune of moments.

Try as you might, catching a moment of privacy in the rambling mansion was almost impossible. All roads in Shantivan would suddenly decide to lead to him, them, and leading the pack would be either his own mother or the goat. He could deal with the goat, but a simple "Shoo" wasn't well-received by the others, wasn't polite enough, apparently. As if a guy could be expected to think logically when his mother pops up when he was making out!

But all this was a long running tradition at Shantivan. What was bugging Akash now was that he had a big brother who was making things worse!

Now, Akash loved his Bhai, worshipped him, in fact. Would walk through fire, fight dragons, gladly jump in front of a train...well, you get the picture. He had looked up to him all his life. Arnav had been the best of brothers - first at home, then at college and later in his profession. He had been his mentor, his tutor, his role model. But when it came to dealing with family, Arnav was useless. Arnav's mode of dealing with pesky family members who dared to disturb his alone-time with his wife was designed along the lines of a war-tank. He just rolled over anyone and everyone who dared to pop up unannouced. And Akash hadn't, and never would, master that artform. Now, that was unfair! He was failing in the one area where he desperately needed to emulate the master of tank-ishness!

And today, he'd been laughed at by his wife. It had been a sympathetic laugh, but still, she'd laughed! It all started after their evening tea.

The two brothers had come home early after spending days on end on a new project. They both had been looking forward to spending some time with the family and a lot of time with their respective wives. The family being what it was, managed to get them both settled for a long-winding discussion about some festival that was still weeks away. After alternating between glowering at the room in general and sending scorching gazes at his wife for a while, Arnav stood up, said a terse "Excuse us" and promptly marched up the stairs, dragging a shocked Khushi behind him, who by the way, had turned a very interesting shade of red, or maybe it was called vermillion...Hmm, he needed to look it up, might need it in the design review coming up the next week.

Wait, that's not the point. The point is that, even though everyone exchanged smirks, no one dared to make a sound! And no one, cleared their throat! Deciding to follow in the footsteps of his all-knowing Bhai, Akash stood up after waiting for a few polite minutes and nodded to Payal. No sooner than she'd nodded back and made to get up did NK jump in, "Ahem! Kahan ja rahe ho, Akash Bhai?"

"Huh? Main woh, i mean, mujhe apne kamre mein jaana tha, ek file lene keliye." Damn it, why couldn't he learn to speak terse?

"Ohh...aur file kahan hain, yeh Payalji ko hi pata hoga, hain na, Akash?" Now Di had jumped in to put in her bit.

"Nahin, Di. Main le loonga. Payal ko aane ki zaroorat nahin hain." Great, it would've been easier to just tear of his feet and stuff it in his mouth!

"Hmm...kaahe ghade ho, Khoon-bhari-taang? Physikkaal edukkacion kilaas hain, ka?" Oh Lord, save the world from my mother's English!

Looking over at his wife helplessly, Akash caught her smile. She was trying hard not to laugh!

This was just the latest version of the daily drama. Why was he the only one who received those dratted "Ahem"s? It was plain and simple. No one in their right mind would dare to "Ahem" at Arnav Singh Raizada. And Akash, well, he was easy prey. Knowing this didn't help one bit.

Slouching up the stairs, Akash bumped into his brother who was striding back downstairs. Man, Bhai could stride! One look at his face made it clear that he'd seen the exchange. Shaking his head at the hapless Akash, Arnav called out, "Payal, Khushi tumhe bula rahi hain."

Sure enough, no one even glanced his way. Turning to Akash who was still bemoaning the fact that he didn't speak terse, rude, short, snarl and a variety of other dialects which Bhai was proficient in, Arnav muttered, "Don't let them get to you. You do it once, you'll do it all your life. Now, go on up, I just needed to get my phone."

Nodding in agreement, Akash turned to catch up with his wife who was galloping ahead. He needed to stop her and redirect her to their room before she barged in on an unsuspecting Khushi.

Spying him rushing after Payal, Anjali let out a loud "Ahem!" which thankfully went unnoticed by the intended recepient. Else, Akash might have successfully started speaking the snarl-dialect.

Glancing up to see Arnav shaking his head at her, she sent him a broad wink. Akash was easy!