I BELIEVE
A WISE POET, William Lyon Phelps, had once said, €˜The highest happiness on earth is true love€™. I completely and whole-heartedly agree! So even after a very traumatic first marriage, I did not let myself become bitter about love. But I refused to compromise and date the very next guy who came my way. So when I fell in love with actor and the recent €˜Bigg Boss 4€™ inmate Sameer Soni, seven years after my divorce, I realized it€™s always worth waiting for your true love. Sameer is truly my soul mate.
Sameer too has had a bad marriage behind him and so have I. But we€™ve put the baggage of our past marriages to rest finally and tied the knot firmly and tightly on January 23, 2011. Today, together we shall explore a wonderful future with each other. Hopefully, we€™ll have lots of kids and a fabulous life always.
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
I am Neelam, actor, veejay and now jewellery designer. People used to call me €˜Baby Doll€™ and I was often told that I was like this breath of fresh air that entered the Hindi film industry because of my cute looks and accented English.
I was born and brought up in Hong Kong. We are a fourth generation family in the business of jewellery and everybody, including my dad Shishir and now, my older brother Afsheen or as we call him Sunny, work in this field. Sunny, incidentally, is based in New York. Both dad and my mum Pervin were avid film buffs who never missed their Sunday film sessions but honestly beyond that, we had absolutely nothing to do with films.
Yes, we used to come to Mumbai every vacation as we had loads of relations from my mum€™s and dad€™s side here. That€™s how we did know things about the film industry but again beyond that, it was absolutely zilch.
In Hong Kong, I studied at the Island School and was just about okay in studies. I spent my formative years in this school. And then we moved to Bangkok, and my mum enrolled me into Ruamrudee School, and I hated it! In Hong Kong, we had the British system of education, and suddenly after moving to Bangkok, I had to get myself acquainted with the American system of education. It was terrible. The subjects were tough, and the English was different. Stuff like Algebra etc made me want to tear my hair out. It was a nightmare and I found it very difficult to cope. I was just rushing around from extra classes to more extra classes. And I was absolutely spaced out!
I did make friends. But the transition of going from one school to another was rather difficult. Also, I was very shy. In fact, I used to avoid going up on stage or being in the spotlight. And if I was really pushed, I€™d be in the back row of the chorus or something. In fact, my mum used to attend our parents day events, and she€™d come back home and ask me, €˜Where were you? I can never spot you€™. I was, of course, hiding somewhere. The only thing I was really good at was ballet, which I loved.
FILM STORY
What I really looked forward to was my annual vacation to Mumbai. It was one such vacation that changed my life. I was about 14 and had just completed my 10th standard. I was staying at my grandparents€™ place. Director Ramesh Behl used to stay in the same building. He knew our family very well and I was good friends with his children Shrishti and Goldie Behl. In fact, it was when I attended one of their birthday parties that he spotted me. Armed with those olden day big videocams, he just kept zooming in on me. Later, I found out that he decided there and then that I€™d be in his next film.
I, of course, was completely unaware of this. After a wonderful vacation, I returned to Bangkok and got back to slaving it out at school. In the meantime, Ramesh uncle called up dad and asked him if I€™d be interested in doing his film. Dad said an emphatic €˜no€™. So Ramesh uncle tried coaxing mom, who also told him that €˜Neelam is too young€™. Ramesh uncle went on calling up and renewing his offer. Dad then decided that he€™d ask me if I was interested in being an actor. I thought he was joking at first and burst out laughing. But when I realized he was serious, I too told him, €˜Impossible! Out of the question!€™ The idea was absolutely ludicrous as I couldn€™t even speak Hindi properly, leave alone act.
This went on for two years, and then one day, we were eating at a Chinese restaurant when dad broached the subject of films again. This time, I said, €˜Yes, I€™ll do this film€™! Actually, the real reason was that I felt films would be an escape from studies.
So the next time I was in Mumbai for the holidays, I did a screen test for Ramesh uncle. It was wonderful! I enjoyed putting on makeup and even facing the camera felt great. Ramesh uncle told me there and then, €˜You€™re my next heroine€™ and offered me €˜Jawani€™ opposite another newcomer Karan Shah, who is Tina Ambani€™s nephew. I was 16 then.
SHOOTING FOR THE FILM
Honestly, I thought acting would be a cakewalk. But it wasn€™t long before I realized that it was as painful as my studies. I did a stint at an acting school with Roshan Taneja. Ramesh uncle also insisted on my learning Hindi. I had Hindi classes in the morning and I must have gone through at least 5-6 teachers because each one ran away saying, €˜She€™s hopeless€™. Also though I knew ballet, I didn€™t know anything about filmi dance and after every dance rehearsal, my soles would bleed. I would go home crying every night wondering what I€™d got myself into. I just wanted to run away many a times but my mother told me, €˜Now that you€™ve said €˜yes€™ to Ramesh uncle, you must give it your 100%. Do your work with dedication and everything else will fall into place€™.
So I stuck on and gave it my very best. At last, the film was made and the premier of the film was the biggest day of my life. But there was one incident that happened that I can never forget. The film€™s writer called me aside and told me that I was rubbish in the film and Karan, the hero, was so much better. And it just broke my heart!
I told myself that the film line would just not work for me and with a heavy heart, I decided to pack my bags and return to my boring studies. But €˜Jawani€™ released and though it was a flop, I got so much appreciation that it was absolutely overwhelming. This was my first taste of stardom and I loved it. I may not have been an actress who won awards, but I made an impact.
CALL OF STARDOM
However, for some months I sat at home with absolutely no offers until producer Pranlal Mehta offered me €˜Love €˜86€™. After that, Pahlaj Nihalini, who had seen the rushes of €˜Love €˜86€™, thought Govinda and I danced amazingly in the film. And he offered us €˜Ilzaam€™. Both the films were big hits. There was no looking back. Govinda and my pairing became the toast of the town and we went on to do films like €˜Khudgarz€™, €˜Hatya€™, €˜Taaqatwar€™ and €˜Do Qaidi€™. Working with Govinda was fun though we did have a strange way of communicating. Govinda€™s Hindi is superb but his English is bad, and for me, it was the exact opposite. We used to actually converse and communicate in sign language! But he was a friend and used to come home very often as he got along with my parents, aunts and relatives really well.
THE FILM INDUSTRY
Frankly speaking, I never actually fitted into the industry. Nobody ever misbehaved with me as I was always accompanied by a family member. But I never really could adjust with the industry people then. I remember once being absolutely shocked when the spot boy picked up my shoes. In fact, when I told him to stop doing that, my colleagues would laugh at me and call me €˜Ms Propah€™.
RUMOURS & LINK-UPS
Of course, I have had my share of link-ups. People linked me with Govinda for some time. But I was seeing someone else (Bobby Deol) at that time, so I guess all the rumours died out after a while.
LEAVING FILMS
I also did cameos in films like €˜Kuch Kuch Hota Hai€™ and €˜Hum Saath Saath Hain€™. After which, I did a stint in veejaying programmes like €˜Ooh La La€™ and €˜BPL Oye€™ which were big hits. But at that point, I realized that a female actor has a limited shelf life. Also, I had a lot of inhibitions showing skin and exposing, and people were offering me roles where I had to wear skimpy clothes. I found myself slipping and I wasn€™t up there where I was at one point. I didn€™t want to be phased out, so I stepped away from films.
Getting into the jewellery business was a natural transition. Even when in films, each time I finished shooting, I€™d rush to dad€™s office and learn more about the jewellery business.
But it was a very tough decision for me as I was moving away from the glitz and glamour of the film industry, to the sedate field of the business of jewellery. Ironically, I got a lot of film offers at that point but I told myself that the film chapter of my life is over, and now, it€™s time to move on€
JEWEL OF THE STONE
I got into the serious business of jewellery under the tutorship of my dad. And I did everything €" from purchasing the stones, to manufacturing. It was difficult at first as when I was in films, we€™d go to exotic locales etc, meet people, have fun; here in the business of jewellery, I was stuck within the four walls of an office. But I learned everything in detail. Today, my store €˜Neelam Jewels€™ has come a long way. Now I have put films behind me and there is no looking back.
MY FIRST MARRIAGE
€Is not something I want to talk about. The break-up of my first marriage (with Rishi Sethia) was traumatic and I carried the baggage for too long. Now I have put it all behind me.
MEETING SAMEER
I got divorced in 2001 and I was too traumatized to start dating other men. So I was single for seven years €" no men at all! I€™d go partying with female friends etc and look as if I was having a great time but inside me, there was this emptiness that I just couldn€™t fill. I was miserable being single!
Of course, I had great female friends like Ektaa Kapoor who invariably put a smile on my face even when I was at my lowest. One day, she dragged me to see a play called €˜Anything But Love€™ which starred Mandira Bedi and Sameer Soni. And I told Ektaa, €˜There€™s something very nice about Sameer€™. And Ektaa apparently told a friend of Sameer€™s that I found him cute.
But nothing really happened there and life went on as usual, until I attended one of Ektaa€™s parties. Sameer was also there and Ektaa introduced us. And he did the strangest thing €" almost immediately after we were introduced, he told me, €˜I€™ll call you€™. I was flummoxed! It was an out-of-the-blue statement. We were meeting for the first time and after the usual pleasantries, he tells me, he€™ll call me! And I was like, why does he want to call me? We didn€™t know each other!
I returned home and forgot all about it. And I guess, so did he because he never called up. But I met him again, almost a year later, and again after meeting me, he said the very same thing!
This time, he did call€ but at 3 a.m.! I thought it was some random number and didn€™t pick up the call. He messaged the next day saying, €˜You don€™t believe in returning phone calls€™ and I messaged back, €˜I am sorry, I didn€™t realize it was you€™. And after that we both didn€™t call up each other. Then he messaged me again and this time, I called him up. That€™s how our entire saga of talking on the phone started and then continued for several months. Meeting each other happened much later, that too when we finally realized we really liked each other.
In fact, the first time I met Sameer, he was learning pottery. And he had made a small bowl for me with my name written on it; I was so touched.
Sameer is a very simple, nice guy who is not into fancy cars, restaurants, show and flamboyance. What he says, he means and that for me, was like a breath of fresh air. He has all the qualities I was looking for in a man. He has a lot of dignity and has the same values as me. Like me, he too is a homebody.
BAGGAGE GALORE
Our relationship has not been a bed of roses. We€™ve had a rocky road. We broke up in the middle and then made up when we realized we really couldn€™t do without each other. The problem was that we both had bad marriages behind us and were scared of getting hurt. Both of us had too much extra baggage left behind from our past relationships. Even though we were married and divorced way back, we were scared of getting hurt. He had his set of fears, I had mine €" there were lots of apprehensions from both ends. He went through certain things in his marriage, I went through other things in my marriage and it left us terribly scarred. We both kept thinking what if the same things happened again! Even our families went through hell at that time. There were so many questions, so it took us a long while to overcome the barriers and trust each other.
Sameer took a long time to say, €˜I love you€™. But when he did finally, I knew he meant it with his heart.
ABUSIVE €" NO WAY!
Sameer is a very passionate person who is true to what he does. As for him supposedly being accused of being physically abusive with his ex-wife (Rajlaxmi Khanvilkar-Roy), well, I don€™t think it€™s true at all. I have known Sameer for the past four years and I have never seen any sign of an abusive nature in him. Yes, he is stubborn when he believes in something. But abusive? Rubbish! He is a thorough gentleman! He is very grounded, with wonderful moral values. He is also the last person to physically or verbally abuse anyone, so I don€™t really know how these stories of him being abusive with his ex-wife have come out. See, he has a temper and so do I, and who doesn€™t? But there is no question of any physical abuse.
€˜BIGG BOSS€™ HAPPENED
When Sameer told me that he was offered €˜Bigg Boss€™, I went crazy. I was acting as if he was going to fight the Kargil war. The thought of not being in touch with him for three months got me crazy. I went ballistic! We were actually planning to get married in December last year and all our plans went for a toss. But Sameer patiently calmed me down, so I settled down and supported him completely. When I look back, I am glad he took up the offer because he conducted himself with so much dignity. Most people including me thought he€™d win. Of course, he did have his moments in the show when he stuck to his guns. People asked me, €˜Is he really so stubborn?€™ And I was like, €˜Yup! That€™s Sameer!€™ But seriously, Sameer is a very easy-going guy but you can€™t push or bully him. If he believes in something, he sticks to his guns. You can be Queen Elizabeth but he won€™t budge! What you saw in €˜Bigg Boss€™, that€™s him €" no pretense. And I really like that about him.
When he was evicted from the show on New Year€™s eve, it was shocking because I really thought he€™d win. But, he came back to me on New Year€™s eve and that was the best gift I could have got.
OUR MARRIAGE
We got married on January 23, 2011. Seema Khan (actor-filmmaker Sohail Khan€™s wife) designed my clothes and my friends arranged the sangeet and the rest of the wedding events. It was a small intimate affair with only our friends and family €" just the way we wanted. There are no plans of going on a honeymoon as Sameer has been away from Mumbai for so long and we want to be together here now. But we do plan to go to Shirdi for a darshan of Sai Baba.
Today, we look forward to having kids soon and I hope everything works out great for us. God made Sameer and me wait for so long after our traumatic divorces to find true love. I am sure it is just to show that it€™s always worth waiting for true love
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