Do relationships mean anything these days?

I'm talking about romantic and non romantic relationships.

Let's face it. People, both men and women, are so career oriented and competitive these  days. Working 9-10 jobs, obsessed with material well being, forming fake friendships and generally wearing masks on their faces these days are some of the things I've noticed. Heck, the people in my old office used to speak so sweetly to one another, but when I was speaking to the finance manager on my resignation, he insulted one guy who he shared a hi five with just the other day. And it's not just at the work place. I see these people with 493 friends and they don't even like 50% of them. They try to get into relationships based on personal or physical qualities, or sometimes(heck,who am I kidding, most of the time) wealth. Back in the day, people used to speak so nicely about others even when they were not there. Sure, it wasn't perfect, there was plenty of backbiting going on even then, but it's reached a point today where it's just sad , how shallow people and relationships are. I'm not speaking from experience, thankfully, but based on the people I know and have heard of, I just can't shake off the feeling that they're all just a bunch of actors, living for themselves.

Sorry if I am unclear, just decided to write down some stuff I was thinking about now.
Edited by osama-bin-joe - 12 years ago

It's subjective to each individual. Some people are bitchy, and only wear a mask in front of others. Some are genuinely nice. The first example you gave applies quite a lot. In such a competitive environment you can't love everyone you meet at work, but you can't be down-right rude because that will surely result in a mishap. Before things weren't as competitive, there were much more jobs, you didn't need as many connections to get a good job. If you got fired you'd easily find another one. Now once you're out, you're jobless for months on end. We're all also a lot more aware before getting in a relationship. Wealth does play a part in a healthy relationship I guess, countless divorces take place due to financial reasons. We all want a secure future for ourselves, and it's much harder now to guarantee financial security.

Like I said, it depends on the person. Lots of people still speak nicely about others, for some people materialistic things don't matter at all.

OBJ.. I LOVE THE TOPIC!

The world is a big bad place. Most of us do not say this out of experience, like you but out of whatever we observe around ourselves. People can be mean and shallow to an unimaginable extent. People are materialistic and disgusting, sure thing. More importantly, people are busy so much, they do not have it in them for most parts of their lives to enjoy a relationship (romantic or otherwise) wholesomely. These notions do suggest an overall situation where people are devoid of true sentiment, where they are working jobs, making money, hooking up and ditching occasionally, studying the hell outta them and at the end of the day, realizing how big a bitch life is. 

It all depends on what you expect from your relationship and vice verse...

And in my opinion a relationship consist of mutual respect, trust, honesty and care. There is no perfect person or perfect relationship cause we build our relationships on our perspectives. So if you accept the person for what they are and vice verse; you a match made in heaven.


Edited by -Aarya- - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Savage

The world is a big bad place. Most of us do not say this out of experience, like you but out of whatever we observe around ourselves. People can be mean and shallow to an unimaginable extent. People are materialistic and disgusting, sure thing. More importantly, people are busy so much, they do not have it in them for most parts of their lives to enjoy a relationship (romantic or otherwise) wholesomely. These notions do suggest an overall situation where people are devoid of true sentiment, where they are working jobs, making money, hooking up and ditching occasionally, studying the hell outta them and at the end of the day, realizing how big a bitch life is. 

For people who analyse this paradigm, faith is the most important thing to have. You have faith, you'd know that all sorts of people are supposed to be around, and that if seven out of ten people do not give a shit about each other and us, the other three do, and we'd come around them in time.

And what happens when faith and relationships are at odds; for example you are in love with God and the Man you married does not believe in God? How do you perceive your relationship?

I'm not as cynical. Yes, backbiting, office politics, fake niceties etc are increasing and meaningful friendships or even professional relationships seem to not be there. However, old fashioned values are still there and very prevalent. I've had my share of crappy bitchy coworkers, bosses and seen some real fake people. But I've also been lucky to have worked with some very honest, straightforward and friendly people. I'm quite honest, down to earth and genuine, and I feel karma has a way of returning that back to you. Frankly, I think most of the workforce to me is just genuine people who just have bad human moments. I've rarely feel that there is no meaning.

 

My cousin who recently did MBA in India would often tell me how competitive students would get. They would try to pull each other down in presentations, try to make their peers appear incompetent so they could do better in class. I've never felt that in my MBA class. Most of the class, especially my group of friends gets along great. In our case we often will ask questions they want us to ask so that they can answer, look smart, engage the class and have a successful presentation. Now it is evening MBA where most people are working full time, I don't know if full time MBA is different – but when I hear my cousins/friends in India tell me about MBA/school in India, I think somewhere down the road Indians have gotten too competitive and lost sight of relationships.

 

The west maybe more aloof and not have so called Indian family values etc. But I think friendships and even professional relationships mean a lot more here and have a lot more value. Relationships have not really eroded in the 9-5 rat race as much as it has in India.

Originally posted by: -Aarya-

And what happens when faith and relationships are at odds; for example you are in love with God and the Man you married does not believe in God? How do you perceive your relationship?

Edited by Savage - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Savage

I am an atheist. I did not mean faith in God when I said that it is needful we have faith. We need to have faith and ourselves that we'd come around, and have faith in the goodness that there in people, not all but some. The very goodness which is what we all seek, now that we've understood for ourselves how scanty it is. We have faith that this goodness is here somewhere, we will extract it, because we never stopped believing in the existence of a sensible man in the vicinity of 2674839 jerks. (No offense to any man, I naturally happen to give such instances.)

@Bold: I do not think that a person who does not believe in God isn't good enough to be with. As a fact, I believe that people who do not have faith in God have nobody to blame for their failures, nowhere to go and be unreasonable. Such people tend to be cynical, I am cynical. But cynics may have a realer approach towards life than others. The very approach that the woman mind fail to have in such a case. The man shall fend, in this case here. 

It's kinda weird how I speak of faith and cynicism together but I still hope I am making sensing, cause well I can decipher sense outta what I just said. Eeh.

Agree,  faith has many definitions, but the simple being that it's the trust in the truth of a person. But then aren't all relationships fickle, cause no relationship is set in stone and no relationship comes with rule book!  But than what is living if we can not accept the most challenging part of our life; how we deal with the unpredictability of each other behaviors?  Would you rather know the price of everything and still value nothing or would you rather not know the price at all and value everything?

@ topic maker, whatever you have written is known as the other version of 'professionalism '- means you can be selfish, bitcty when your interest is affected. I'll be lying if i say i'm not like that, we all are at some period of time. Edited by -Fragrance-- - 12 years ago