Originally posted by: 143badratht was fun ... a very different concept .. luved it ...
btw i love the title a lot ... "You've got mail" - - tht is one of my fav movies ever ... i still have a copy of it in my lap .. and watches it time to time ... old but nice ... if u havent give it a try ...
and do continue soon ... would luv to see wht ASR will do once he get to KKGSR ...
- -badra
Thanks so so so so so so so so so much for all the positive feedback guys :) Here's a present.
Part Two: Insanity Grabs Hold
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Prior Warning
Arnie bro,
Just wanted to let you know that I might be a bit late home tonight.
Don't worry though, Kantaben will look after you.
Dhruv
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: Re: Prior Warning
Who the hell is Kantaben?
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Who Is Kantaben
The maid.
She's not actually called Kantaben.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: "Kantaben"
You're an idiot.
Does she know I'm coming or have you been your typical stupid self and forgotten to tell her?
Speaking of which, why are you going to be late?
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Why I'll Be Late
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: I'm Married To A Lunatic
Trust me.
Nothing surprises me anymore.
Try me.
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Unbelievable
Seriously bro, it was unbelievable.
So remember when I e-mailed you earlier, I told you there was some sort of chaos in Reception? Yeah.
So basically, I went out to see what happened and walked in on some random girl in an anarkhali staring horrified at my Receptionist.
Do you know why she was so horrified?
Do you?
No?
I'll tell you why.
Because somehow, one of the many MANY containers of food she was carrying had toppled over and landed all over Neha. (Neha's my Receptionist, by the way. She's a total babe. Not particularly competent though, not going to lie... But who cares what the work's like when I get to walk in to THAT view every morning).
So anyways, the girl with all the containers came over to me and handed them all to me saying "Bhaiya, please hold these for just one minute." She then reached into her knitted purse or whatever the hell that MASSIVE thing on her shoulder was and pulled out a towel.
Who carries round towels in their handbag Nanav, tell me?
She then ran over to Neha and started dabbing at her with the towel. Neha started screaming even LOUDER because her white dress was now stained orange. Looked like some tie-dyed monstrosity from the 90s (Bro, I'm not gay so don't go running to Mama, okay? We've just been working on some fashion contracts recently).
Hilariously, this girl then goes "Devi Maiyya raksha karna!" And then started explaining to Neha that- and I quote because this made no sense to anybody standing there- "Please ma'amji just calm down. Sometimes ,when Laad Governor annoys me, I put a little bit of a holud stain on his white shirt- where he won't see it. When he apologises to me later, I just rub some lemon on it and the stain comes right out." Then she grinned and turned round to face me.
"Oh, sorry bhaiya. Here, I'll take these. Could you show me the way to Dhruv Raizada's office please?"
This insane woman was the person I had a business meeting with today.
She's currently making me taste every single dish she's brought so I'm thinking that I'm going to have to eat, throw up a few times (from overeating, don't get me wrong- the food is brilliant!), eat some more and then eventually crawl home sometime later tonight.
Sorry man, I can hear her anklets heading this way. She'll kill me if she sees me typing and not eating. For a borderline insane Behenji type, she's pretty hot. Might try my luck with this one.
She's the type you marry.
Don't wait up man.
I'll catch up with you tomorrow.
Dhruv
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: (no subject)
I told you not to call me Nanav.
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Nanav
Glad to see you picked up on both the most interesting and important thing in my e-mail.
Well done.
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: For The Love Of Devi Maiyya
STOP RINGING ME.
I am BUSY.
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From: Singh Raizada, Arnav
To: Raizada, Dhruv
Subject: Come Downstairs
I'm in Reception.
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From: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
To: Singh Raizada, Anjali
Subject: HELP ME!
Arnavji is here. In Lukhnow. In Dhruvji's office. And he's really, really angry.
You know that quietly furious tone he gets when he's so enraged he's about to explode? Yeah. He's using that...
I'm currently hiding under Dhruvji's desk.
Oh no. Dhruvji is looking for me. Pleasedon'tfindmepleasedon'tfindmepleasedon'tfindmepleasedon'tfindme...
Oh no. He found me.
It's okay. I did a "Shussshhh!" sign and put my finger on my lips and shook my head. Dhruvji is covering for me.
He says maybe I've gone to the toilet. Okay. The door's opening. And closing.
I think he's gone.
... Oh no.
He sent Dhruv out.
He's still in here.
And he's walking over.
D.M.R.K...
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From: Singh Raizada, Anjali
To: Gupta, Khushi Kumari
Subject: Your Life In Chotte's Hands...
If you don't reply to this e-mail within ten minutes, I'm sending both the Police and an Ambulance to Dhruv's office.
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From: Sharma, Neha
To: Kasyap, Lavanya
Subject: ARRGH!!
La,
You are SO lucky you escaped to London when you did. India is the pits! Today, some stupid larki came running in and spilled curry ALL DOWN my beautiful new dress.
And the worst part is, Dhruv saw me in it!
How EMBARRASSING, na?
NeNe
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From: Kasyap, Lavanya
To: Sharma, Neha
Subject: India
I miss it so much! You don't realise what you have till it's gone.
Also, I don't live in London. I live in Lincolnshire. It's mostly countryside, hills and sheep. Not great.
Anyway, I had a problem with a traditional girl once- she ended up becoming one of my best friends. Just chill out and give her a chance. You can be nice, remember?
Also, if you and Dhruv are meant to be- trust me. It'll work out.
One thing I've learnt the hard way is that you can't stop fate or destiny. What's to happen will happen.
Or something like that.
You just have to deal with it.
La
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From: Sharma, Neha
To: Kasyap, Lavanya
Subject: Wow...
All I really wanted was for you to be like "OMG WHAT A BITCH!". I didn't need your whole "Mother India- Goddess of Compassion and Understanding" act.
Jeez.
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From: Kasyap, Lavanya
To: Sharma, Neha
Subject: Mother India
Isn't a goddess... I can send you a list of them if you like.
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From: Sharma, Neha
To: Kasyap, Lavanya
Subject: List Of Goddesses
Oh please. Go right ahead. I would LOVE to read through them.
If possible, please also attach a list of their stories and partners and festivals associated with them.
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From: Kasyap, Lavanya
To: Sharma, Neha
Subject: I'm So So Happy
Attachments: goddesses.docx, goddessess.pages
You want to learn more about your own culture. This is a great step in the right direction.
I've attached all the information you asked for. I even went ahead and converted it to a Word Document in case you don't have a Mac.
La
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From: Sharma, Neha
To: Kasyap, Lavanya
Subject: Oh
My God.
What is WRONG with you?
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From: Raizada, Dhruv
To: Singh Raizada, Arnav
Subject: Bro...
Erm. Sorry to rain on your parade since when I last walked past my office, it looked like you were having a pretty intense "chat" with my new business associate- But there's a policeman looking for you in Reception and an Ambulance looking for a "half-dead girl in bright, traditional Indian clothes"...
Dhruv
Part Three: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/55152448
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