Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW - Page 7

As long as the individual is mature and responsible and its an act of love its just fine.

well said soumyaa 👏

well...i have no problem in accepting my partner if he has already lost his virginity but for me i wud prefer being a virgin till marriage.

and as far loosing ones virginity..if that person is matured enough to take on responsibilities ahead thenn..ur welcome 😛

The previous responses especially of sowmya and willows and dolly re instate what someone else said earlier. This topic is no longer a debate and is now a clash of ideologies. It is like debating which religion is the best. So finally let me too post my personal view.

Originally posted by: Willows

Indeed what you can give to oneself and other as you enter into a proposed long lasting relationship is a gift and if you loose this most precious gift then i would believe such a person is a pauper.

I disagree. When I enter a relationship the thing I would hold most sacred is the promise of acceptance and respect and love and emotional security. Previous liaisons dont matter to me. I dont believe my partner will never feel any attraction  to another beautiful woman but neither do I  labour under the fear that I will never measure up to his previous interests. But I respect and appreciate all views against the motion.

Originally posted by: mist

The previous responses especially of sowmya and willows and dolly re instate what someone else said earlier. This topic is no longer a debate and is now a clash of ideologies. It is like debating which religion is the best. So finally let me too post my personal view.

I disagree. When I enter a relationship the thing I would hold most sacred is the promise of acceptance and respect and love and emotional security. Previous liaisons dont matter to me. I dont believe my partner will never feel any attraction  to another beautiful woman but neither do I  labour under the fear that I will never measure up to his previous interests. But I respect and appreciate all views against the motion.

Dear Mist;

I appreciate your views, please be assured, i would be the last person to make it a religious issue or clash of ego, for i have none, further you would observe, i have replied to the post only today, further what i wrote was my personal experience regarding the gift, though i welcome your disagreement, i always believe all human beings are special and different and they cannot be same in any manner unless they are twins.

I still believe when you marry there has to something that you offers to each other and that most important thing is trust, and it is presumed in the marriage that both the sides are virgin and hence the best possible gift for each side is this trust and i believe one who has no trust is indeed a pauper, for me the most valueable thing is the values.

Originally posted by: sowmyaa

You are very right dolly. When two plp are truley in love then sex is an expression of love and is wonderful thing between the two...i totally agree...all I am saying is then why these two people asked by their parents hide that they had any sexual relashionship. That's where I have a problem. Why do you need to hide things from soceity when you think you are right. If there is no "guilt" or "shame" when you are in early 20s that you invloved in physical relashion with your bf then it's totally valid. We all know that people in West do date, live together and have sex before marriage and I don't think that's wrong. If I was living here I would be totally fine having sexual relashionship with my boyfriend and even living with him before marriage. But I was not comfy with such relashion when I was 20 and when I was in India. Aparna, is right...girls and also boys are brainwashed from childhood that to indulge in sex before marriage is not good. That's also one of the reason the whole society is formed with this belief. I don't think there is anything wrong in controlling your sexual urge until you get married. One cannot express everything they wish and they want to. Like you cannot wear a bikini in India and sit outside for sun bath. I don't think anyone would do that even if they want to. It's just that all country have different society norms. I know some are really rigid and over the time we can get over it..however, its hard for girls and boys to rovolt against soceity at young age and do what they want to. It is therefore better not to loose your viriginity till you get married.

Friends, This is quote I wrote earlier and this is exactly what I personally fee. AS I said in my previous post that this is my personal openion and I do not expect society or everyone to follow the same norms and I do respect individual's choice and this is why we have "debate" as not two people are similar which is totally fine. The reasons why "i" would not indulge in loosing virginity is my above para. To me anything i personally feel that my heart says this is wrong is just vanilla wrong. If I think this is right I am doing and eventhough society syas its wrong I dont care and thats right for me. so just going with heart and your culture your parents have passed you is what I believe in...if some people thing loosing virginity is totally fine and not a taboo its really not ....i respect what everyone's heart says..its just individual's choice. i guess i've said all i wanted to say so Guess I am retiring from this topic. 😛 Happy Debating! 😃 Edited by sowmyaa - 18 years ago

Ya some of you who have quoted me i ask you not to do so as i too have retired from this argument .

I think this argument is best a parralel with personal idealogies and beliefs just like in the case of religon . (as mist said)


No religon is bad/wrong OR superior than the other . Same way both the idealogies posted here , neither of them becomes Superior than the other .

In the West , a person who looses virginity walks around pompously taunting others , while in the East , the Virgin before marriage struts around claming their actions were Superior .

Thats it for me !! (p.s - do me favour plz don't quote me anymore )Edited by Aparna_BD - 18 years ago

Please chill everyone,
I personally think this issue is not debatable.U cannot put logic in it.It is a individual choice.YOu cannot be superior on what choice u made, I still maintain that. For that u need much more qualities in you......Not to start another debate but I have seen both sides of the coin.So I request aparna to start another topic for DOW. I really donot think it is worth it.
BTW iam not coming to net for 2 days so no fighting , ok...behind my back 😆
will see u all on monday
take care 😃