OS- Wanted Ek Chokro

Ok so this my gujju version of Ram searching for a groom for Priya

Wanted –ek chokro

Ram Kapoor sat peering at the matrimonial ads in the newspaper.  His friend Vikram poked his head into the office. "Aree Rambhai…shun karao cho…kaam ni jagayeh chapu vachon cho." (What are you doing Ram, instead of working…you are reading a newspaper.)

Ram curled his lips in annoyance, "jaa Vikram maru mathu nah dukhav…salla mari office ma manne dante che." ( Go away Vikram, don't give me a headache…idiot telling me off in my own office.)

Vikram steps in, "Aree paan kehvo ne shun ankh na dola chaapa ma dolavu chon?" (But do tell why you are peering at the newspaper so intently)

Ram sets the paper down and presses the side of his head, "Shun karu toh!  Pelee Natasha ne chokro pasand che paan muvo saaf na pare che lagan mate…bole ke jayaan shudhi ane behen na lagan na thai tayaan shudhi aye lagan na karshe." (what can I do. Natasha likes a boy but he refuses to marry saying that he will not get married until his sister gets married.)

"Toh…tema tane shun lage varge…eh aye poiro jaane ne ane gharwara." (so…what is it to you?  That is the problem of the boy and his family.)

Ram glares at Vikram who was now opening up Ram's tiffin and helping himself to kachoris.  "Akal kyan gayi taree Vikram.  Tane khabar chene…Natasha ketli hatili che…gandi keh che ke Aanna Hazaare ni jem eyi paan hunger strike par."  ( Where is your brain gone?  You know how stubborn Natasha is?  Stupid girl said that she is going on a hunger strike just like Aanna Hazaare.)

"Smart girl!" Vikrma says as he pops another kachori in his mouth.

Ram picks up his tiffin, closes his firmly and gives a warning look to Vikram, "Taree darling Neha khavanu banave ke nahi…mara tiffin ma hath mare che." (does your darling Neha cook food or not that you are eating my food.)

Vikram rolls his eyes and then pokes Ram's slight paunch that is visible, "Taane aatle badhi kachori kahavani zaroorat nathin…mare taree mumuji ne vaat karve padshe…ke Ram baishine khay khay ne jado hathi jevo phuli jaise." ( You don't need to eat all those kachoris, I will have to talk to your mother…that if Ram keeps on sitting and eating all that food, he will blow up like an elephant.)

Ram slams his tiffin on the desk, "Jaye che ke nahin…sallo maru khavanoon khaye ne upar thi mane hathi kaeh." (Are you leaving or not? Stupid, eats my food and then call me elephant on top of it.)

Vikram folds his hand, "Sorry…sorry…chal hoon tane chokro goti aapu…pelani behen ne matee."  (Sorry…sorry…Let me help you find a boy for that guy's sister.)

Ram pushes the paper at him, "chal jo…kayun thekanu theek lage che." (here look which one sounds good)

Vikram scratches his head, "Paan Ram…pehla keh to kharo…chokri ni umar shun che, bhaneli shun che…ane kevo chokro pasand che?"  (But first Ram tell me what the girl's age is, what is her education, what kind of boy is she looking for?)

Ram doodles on the paper, "taintreesh, MBA and sadho." (33, MBA and simple)

Vikram's eyes pop out, "Baap re…taintreesh…ane mate chokro ni moti umar no maanash joye" (Haila, 33…she doesn't need a boy but a mature man.)

Ram smiles, "ave smajeyoneh…problem motoh che…chappa ma toh badha…ek be vaar parnela chukela…ketla na toh chokra paan che." (now you understand the problem, it is not easy, all this in the paper have been married before and some even have children.)

Vikram scans the ads, "Haan vaat sachin che…ane mateh toh tara jevo koi juven." (you are right…for her we need somebody like you.)

Ram nods, "haan…paan kyaan gotwoh…kunwaroh manash…" (yes…but where do we look…for a bachelor.)

Vikram looks away from the paper and stares at Ram.  Ram stares back. After a minute or so Ram explodes, "Alaya…maara tharaf shun kaam dora kare che?" (oye why are you staring at me?)

Vikrma grins, "vichar kar Ram…tari umar chalish…tu kunvaro…tara koi lafda nahi…taree life simple ne set…toh taraa karta kaun beejo saaro?" ( think ram…you are 40, unmarried, no affairs, your life has become boring and simple than who better than you?)

Ram frowns, then his head rocks from side to side, "Vaat tari sacchi…paan gadheda…maare ave parni ne shun karvun?" ( yes what you said is right but stupid…why do I want to get married for?)

Vikram gives a sly grin, "Aye…khabar nathi…parnela nu shukh kevun che…ek vakhat parni ne joylieh?" ( Oye…you don't know…what marriage life is life…get married once and then see?)

Ram makes a face, "Saala guttar ma lavee didhene vaat?" (Idiot…brought the talk right down into the gutter.)

Vikram laughs out loud,  "Maane gando kehya kare…ek vakhat s** kari joh pachi…kehje…sachoon kevun chu ke nahi." (telling me I am stupid, try S** for once and then tell me if I am telling the truth or not.)

Ram lunges forward grabs Vikram by the throat, "Mari javun che ke shun…nikal ahiyanthi…salla gutter mano kero…" (you want to die or what?  Get out from here…idiot….creepy crawler from the gutter.)

Vikrma leaves, rubbing his throat and still laughing, "Javun chun…paan jojeh…tujh ane saathe lagan karse."(I am leaving but mark my words…you will marry her.)