|Piya- Who am I?| OS

Share
Posted: 2011-04-16T12:41:31Z
 
Have you ever laid in bed alone late at night staring at the ceiling thinking what life has become and how it would have been different have you made a different choice? I do that a lot especially now that I developed insomnia from nowhere. I keep asking myself what if hadn't come here, hadn't met him how different life would have been…I still would be Piya but not what I'm becoming now. Who am I you ask? I'm not even sure myself.
 
Yes, I'm Piya Jaiswal. A girl. A daughter. A sister. A friend. A lover. This is what defines me. But apart from all these even before I became Piya I was a human. A living breathing human being. But now…Who Am I?
 
I'm no longer a human nor am I a monster. I'm neither living nor dead. I stand on the verge of becoming something he always feared. I know how all this started but now all that seems like a distant memory like it happened with someone else not me. Perhaps it did happen with another girl. Another Piya because that one was alive, happy, dreaming and now…she seems to be disappearing.  Every day I see less and less of that Piya and more and more of someone else. Someone who is only controlled by a strange thirst that never seems to end.
Not only is my body changing but also it feels as a part of me has died. I can't explain it but it's like a strange numbness seems to be taking over my senses paralyzing me emotionally. I can't seem to enjoy or laugh like I used to. The only time I feel like myself is when I'm with him. Yes Abhay is always there for me just like he promised but at times it's just not enough. I don't blame him for what happened. I knew from the start what awaited me at the other end but I did not pay any heed to his warning for I was too busy living my dream.  But now that the nightmare has become a reality I realize the fear I always saw in his eyes. Yes it does hurt. Alot.
 
You know what the strangest part is? No, not that I'm growing an extra pair of teeth but the fact that none of the two worlds accepts me. Yes, Abhay had very clearly told me that world of darkness won't accept me. That all this wasn't supposed to happen. He says it's for my own good; I don't belong to the world of damned. The master had spoken; the changing process had to be stopped. And until then I can hang with them but not 'be with them'. And guess what I can't even return to my old world, because apparently I'm a threat to their safety. So here I stand in the middle of two worlds with neither of them wanting me. Nothing new for me though.
 
Abhay had informed me that they finally have found some cure for me and soon I shall be back to myself, which isn't that easy. But still he believes so…so I believe him. He says it will be very difficult to go through the so called ritual. It can prove to be fatal. But I have given my approval and told him that even if it is dangerous I'm ready to go through it because one way or the other at least this will stop. The sleepless nights, the constant fear, the unquenchable thirst that seems to choke me at times, the numbness that keeps growing, the hollowness filling my life…I really want it to stop now. It's becoming unbearable now so I have decided to go through with it.
 
I was snapped out of my thoughts by a familiar voice calling my name over and over again.
 
Abhay, 'Piya, they are ready…are you?'
 
He looked straight into my eyes searching for an answer, a clue something. The fear clear in his eyes perhaps of losing me. But he didn't understand the damage had already been done. It was too late to back out now.
 
I gave him a weak smile and replied in a soft but firm voice, 'Yes I'm ready. It's for the best Abhay.'
 
He looked at me with knowing and gave a light nod. He held my hand and I led the way.  
 
It was time. Finally it was here…the end.
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok so wrote this solely from Piyas view. I may be contradicting myself here as I also say that AP are meant to be and even if Piya becomes a vampy their love for each other will be enough. But this one is from a person's view that what if your life is suddenly changed so drastically that you start to lose the very reason of your existence. Walking on the path of broken dreams, would the love will be then enough; especially when you know that the one you love may abandon you? I know it is in complete contrast to what will happen in the show but then again it's MY version of the story, a bit too pessimistic one I know.

Ok enough of my blabbering. Comments and LIKES please! Big smile

19 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T12:48:38Z
Quite hard-hitting , this one. Hmm. The Piya in your OS chose herself. Her life. And it would eventually mean letting go of Abhay and living a normal life. I won't say its cowardice - its a choice and Piya is making it for herself, here. I don't blame her. To be Abhay's Piya , she has to step in the shadows. And if she can't , we wouldn't blame her. After all, even in the serial, she wants a normal life. 
4 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:06:41Z
Originally posted by Pocahontas


Quite hard-hitting , this one. Hmm. The Piya in your OS chose herself. Her life. And it would eventually mean letting go of Abhay and living a normal life. I won't say its cowardice - its a choice and Piya is making it for herself, here. I don't blame her. To be Abhay's Piya , she has to step in the shadows. And if she can't , we wouldn't blame her. After all, even in the serial, she wants a normal life. 
 
Ok now you put it this way it sounds quite selfish. Lol. But that wasnt my thought really. Yes all she wanted was a happy normal life but always got the opposite. And she is in shadows. But like i said the vampire clan wont accept her. I had assumed that she just cannot be a vampire and Abhay will be forced to leave here. Like in serial too he had left her once because of the pressure of master or whatever reason. But he had and has intentions of doing it again. So if you were in such a position when you are leading a meaningless life, in constant fear that one day you will get up and he would be gone...then what will you do?
Yeah i know i dont write so clearly.
 
Anywhos thanks for commenting! :)
2 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:12:48Z
How do you write so beautifully Anu? I mean how do you bring such a continuity in thoughts and emotions? I want to analyse each and every line of this OS but then I fear I am getting drowned in Pia's thoughts. Or may be this is the Pia, Abhay wished would exist. I am sure if Abhay wished and imagined, he would have thought (or forced?LOL) Pia to choose a living option.

After reading your post, I am really trying to imagine what will actually, happen when she gets to know the truth. Not in the show but for the story. Show is influenced by TRPs but story seems to be closer to what you wrote.

Good job.Clap  
Edited by Ritzie - 2011-04-16T13:14:10Z
1 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:18:45Z
Originally posted by sugaryanu


Originally posted by Pocahontas


Quite hard-hitting , this one. Hmm. The Piya in your OS chose herself. Her life. And it would eventually mean letting go of Abhay and living a normal life. I won't say its cowardice - its a choice and Piya is making it for herself, here. I don't blame her. To be Abhay's Piya , she has to step in the shadows. And if she can't , we wouldn't blame her. After all, even in the serial, she wants a normal life. 
 
Ok now you put it this way it sounds quite selfish. Lol. But that wasnt my thought really. Yes all she wanted was a happy normal life but always got the opposite. And she is in shadows. But like i said the vampire clan wont accept her. I had assumed that she just cannot be a vampire and Abhay will be forced to leave here. Like in serial too he had left her once because of the pressure of master or whatever reason. But he had and has intentions of doing it again. So if you were in such a position when you are leading a meaningless life, in constant fear that one day you will get up and he would be gone...then what will you do?
Yeah i know i dont write so clearly.
 
Anywhos thanks for commenting! :)
 

No, its not selfish. Not at allSmile. Like the last part of your response, if Abhay would leave her over and over , what will Piya make of such a meaningless life. And not being accepted into the clan would only add to her woes. So, its  a choice that she makes for herself. And to me , stepping into shadows would mean being there irrespective of what Abhay wants. 

You wrote it as clear as Piya's turmoil can get . I just perceived it in my way as a reader, buddhu. LOL
2 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:21:58Z
Hey! This is awesome! Keep writing... You have it in you...
2 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:25:35Z
Originally posted by Ritzie


How do you write so beautifully Anu? I mean how do you bring such a continuity in thoughts and emotions? I want to analyse each and every line of this OS but then I fear I am getting drowned in Pia's thoughts. Or may be this is the Pia, Abhay wished would exist. I am sure if Abhay wished and imagined, he would have thought (or forced?LOL) Pia to choose a living option.

After reading your post, I am really trying to imagine what will actually, happen when she gets to know the truth. Not in the show but for the story. Show is influenced by TRPs but story seems to be closer to what you wrote.

Good job.Clap  
 
Ritz....I love you. Haha. No seriously I do. Embarrassed 
 
Lol im not sure if Abhay would want this Piya. Yeah we can force him to! LOLLOL 
I highly doubt that the story would be like this because i guess my version of Piya is different from what we see on scree. 
And here Piya didnot choose to live. Instead she choose to end it. Because Abhay was fearing this very thing that this ritual will cost Piya her life. But she still decided to go with it because the pain was more than she could bear. The way i see it she is in darkness already but she chose to step out of it by ending it. No she wasnt being a coward but she did it because she knew that one day this will happen. If not her the others vamps will end it.
 
Alright now more than ever convinced that i write horribly! Lol. Because i always end up confusing people! :P
 
Still thank you so much for the kind words! Embarrassed
1 Likes this
Posted: 2011-04-16T13:26:47Z
Beautifuly penned down!
 
 
You know what the strangest part is? No, not that I'm growing an extra pair of teeth but the fact that none of the two worlds accepts me.
 
^^
How cathchy n true...none of the worlds accepts Pia...neaither Abhay actually, he has been in world of the dead, but even there he is a stranger. *sigh* these two lonely souls.
 
As for the show i hope the scenario will be somthing like, these symptoms slowly goes away with the second and third moon passing, as its to soon for the turning for Pias charcters, but in the end of course the option to become one will be there as she has already been bitten once.
 
But a cure from the superiors is also possible.
 
loved this line
'The only time I feel like myself is when I'm with him'
2 Likes this

Related Topics

Topics Author Replies Views Last Post Reply
Ani.Ch 1 226 2018-03-18T19:50:02Z indiaf1
.Piyali.. 442 13653 2018-01-20T00:19:38Z Linsie
JaViA 14 1613 2016-05-03T11:46:44Z Uzii
Kutush 304 23256 2016-01-25T21:57:01Z anum_6
ArHi SS: Tohe Piya Milenge *Complete*

uv-crazyfan   472   106261

uv-crazyfan 472 106261 2015-12-31T13:21:05Z chsweety22

Topic Info

  • 22 Replies
  • 2714Views

Topic started by Ameres

Last replied by Ameres

FORUM QUICK JUMP

TOP