OS: Choice

I had never been subjected to a situation like this before. What authority am I to make the choice? Besides, did I even know what I was opting for in the beginning? I did not know I was falling for an inhumane charmer, who in my fairy land came to resemble the prince who eventually swept me off my feet.

But one thing I knew, always. That another fellow, much like a prince as well was falling for me. This irony is indeed mournful how both falling into a one-sided love issue and being subjected to another, were both not my choices. After all, had feelings been in control - I had been walking the earth much like before, nonchalant to anxieties. Above all is the anxious touch of pain on the one hand and guilt on the other, all of this has changed me.

I remember telling my second prince that I did not want to change myself, ever post a social insult and then a threatening encounter with my heart's ruler. However, circumstances did change me and the change is not just entitled to my hairstyle. It's beyond and much more.

There is ample pain that their eyes showcase. The hypnotic ones appear to be forbidden of showing any emotion, still being forced into displaying immense care and the welcoming ones have lost their spark and jitter in the dark. And all that is because of me, I guess.

I am not sure if anything of this had ever been in my control. I couldn't prevent pain, regardless. I was somehow meant to be causing pain and receiving the same. Reminiscent of a nave toddler, I am being pulled towards the most dangerous being to ever be with. I love a vampire bad, and it's not gravity anymore holding me to the surface - it's him and those glances he rather hides, which shout that he cares. Yes, he does.

Why is this third person being pained unnecessarily? I wish I could deny encouraging him back in time. That's unfair. Even though, I forget the world around me when my personal knight holds me to his face or even touches me - I feel thousands of needles running up my back when I see those welcoming eyes look up to us, wearing an expression as though somebody is hitting him hard with iron rods.

His eyes shut tight as hell, and lips purse together - those welcoming eyes seem to be seeping in tragedy, letting the entire trauma his soul has been through be prominent. Prominent enough that the jokes he cracks can't hide the real ironic laughter of his conscience; prominent enough that his casual conversations and friendly hugs pour out his urge to hold me tight and enjoy my smiles as Abhay does. Tell me that he has the right be done justice with!

I get the point - this is all plotted so as to contribute in the draining of my hope, my instinct and my belief that I am born to love and be loved. Given, if this is how we love - I am better off alone. But I am no longer used to it, and it doesn't feel whole unless he is here. He, who trusts me with his hugest and bitterest truth, who loves me beyond imagination, who believes himself to be heartless and who has always been my choice right from the beginning! And this choice was made as soon as I had stepped into this world where I discovered how possibly every myth is true. And when I realized that I was destiny's easiest and softest target!

I am sorry, Kabir!