Is it wrong???? - Page 4

Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by shy1111


 
i  LIKE  that......😆
 
 
Posted: 13 years ago
of course a girl/woman has responsibilities towards her parents and family. after all they have have brought her into this world, educated her....
 
that being said, in pratigya's case, we see a lady who has been unable to fulfill her basic duties towards her husband and in-laws. she's always running to her maika to sort out their problems, sometimes at the cost of her sasural and husband's respect.
 
in her case it would be easier to say *yes, go save your maika* after we see her do something noteworthy, caring, loving, big for either her husband or sasural.
 
finally, it is a question of balance. and right now its definitely, completely off-kilter here.
Posted: 13 years ago
Well MMG this is a delicate situation to say the least.....one which would have to be treated with tact ...
 
I agree with Tanthya and gawker here. Yes there's nothing wrong in wanting to help your parents but that said we can't overlook the mindset, the society in which prats lives in.
 
We can't forget that P is a married girl whose actions have a repercussion to her in-laws whether we like or not it's like that. A girl when out is taking the respect of her house with her and before throwing stone at the Thakurs for their narrow mindness, let us not forget that the whole allahabad think alike even the Saxes. P working will damage Thakurs' image. It will be taken as a public humiliation.
 
Plus as gawker said, there is a problem a balance in relationship. Pratigya has been known for always running to maayka at a drop of a hat while often ignoring her duty as a bahu and even sometimes at the cost of her sasural's izzat. Moreover, the son of that house is still there to take care of the family, it's normally his duty. The prof himself is not in such a bad state that he can't work either. Speaking of it, what happened with his job at the university? If they are sensible, her maayka people should tell P that they will handle it (both men of the house are still there) and she must think of her sasural first and foremost.
Posted: 13 years ago
Wonderful topic MMG! 👏 It was great to read so many opinions of people on this issue.
 
I agree with everyone here that there's nothing wrong with the daughter providing some financial assistance in times of dire need. Infact, it's the duty of the daughter to make sure that when her parent's need something, she should do all in her power to help them. After all, these parents did so much for us, we must try to do the same for them.
 
Many women in my family do this, but usually in those cases where they have a widow mother, or they have younger siblings with educational expenses to cover. Some women, whose in-laws are not happy with the idea, do it secretly, keeping a little portion of their incomes aside every month, without anyone knowing. The ones who do it in the open, have extremely understanding in-laws.
 
However, I'm not in favour of the idea that the parents are COMPLETELY dependent on their daughter. A little money, now and then, when needed, is ok. But it's not fair to expect from her the entire household expenditure... she herself has a family to look after as well.
 
Prats will do no wrong in supporting her family. But she's never exactly been on good terms with her in-laws, and she knows they won't accept this. I think the best way would be to convince Krishna to start working with his dad and brother, and then she can ask Krishna to temporarily help the Saxenas.
Posted: 13 years ago
I believe that a woman should be able to help or support her parents whenever she wants to . Marraige does not mean that you lose the right to help your parents.
 
I am very close to my maike.My mom passed away couple of years back and my dad visits us in America once a year .Although he does not need my support,I make a point to pay for his plane fare every year from my salary. My husband has no problem. I have to say my in-laws are very good and they never interfere in our matter. But maybe my situation is different because my husband is a caucasian and my in-laws do not live with us. They are independant and live in chicago.
 
All my indian friends work and they are equally close to there parents. I believe if you have a wonderful and strong  relationship with your husband one can cross any hurdle.
 
In this case I have a feeling Prats will not be allowed to work because of the kind of family she is married into .And above all her husband is not educated and unemployed. It will be very hard for Krishna to understand her ned to help.
 
I think the cvs should be concentrating on making krishna work and not Prats. He needs to be on his feet more than anything .its about time. 
Posted: 13 years ago
I will explain a situation that happened to our neighbors.
 
They are a happy husband and wife with two daughters, educated and working. They have a decent house, business and some property.
 
First daughter is married within the family, but got divorced very soon, reasons unknown to me.
Second daughter is married, have one kid, husband and wife working in two different cities. So, her mother brought the grandchild with her and is taking care of the grandchild.
 
In the mean time they incurred some loss in business. They were trying to get the first daughter married but that was not happening. In the mean time , the man of the house met with a road accident and died. The lady of the house who is uneducated and innocent, got the first daughter married, sold the house to pay off debts and moved into a rental house and living with the grand daughter while the daughters and respective husbands are working out of town. They must definetely be helping their mother.
 
The reason I am boring you with this story is -
 
There is nothing wrong for a daughter to help her parents in the time of need and there are many daughters who do that.
 
That said, it is a very delicate and sensitive issue in the case of pratigya. In the above case, the daughters are already settled in their jobs and they have their independent income. In the case of pratigya she has to start working now, and should give them a reason why she has to work. For that she should have maintained a good relationship  with husband and inlaws so far.
 
For a second let us forget SS's mindset and K's employment status and let us think that they are fair and reasonable FIL and Husband. But we have to remember that SS's daughter Komal is married in P's house and SS once offered gift (or dowry) to Prof and Prof refused.
So now, even if SS senses the financial status of his daughter's hous e and want to help them, he cannot proceed without doubts based on his past experience.
 
In my opinion, based on their relationships and conditions, it should SS, S and K who should be thinking about the financial difficulties of the daughters house and approaching them to help. And if adarsh and Prof has some buddi, they should accept it till they come out of the situation.
 
Though I still do not understand why they have to get into such pitiful financial state in the first place. I understand and agree that raising 3 kids, having all of them educated is not a easy task for a middle class family. But we have to remember that Prof has not spent a single penny for Adarsh or P's marriage. He should be planning for 3 marriages as well, where as he got to spend only for one marriage. What is the reason to become pennyless by spending for one marriage. Does it have to be so lavish, that he will become penny less.
 
And I think there will be some thing like sick leave with pay, accidental insurance etc. which people use (especially the working class).
Didn't prof and Adarsh know about these
 or never looked into these? Strange for the samajdhar padi liki family.
 
What ever situation I explained above is much more worse than what happened to proffeser and his family. The mother and the daughters came out of it with dignity.
 
 
Posted: 13 years ago
i think its cuz of this serial..i mean the Thakurs are simply illiterate ppl so thr situation can simply not compared to real life stuff
Posted: 13 years ago
Nothing wrong with a married daughter supporting her parents in time of need.  Any husband who does not understand this has insecurity issues.  Kris would have a cow if Pratz started working while he sits on his lazy ass at home. 
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by mnsu


 
In my opinion, based on their relationships and conditions, it should SS, S and K who should be thinking about the financial difficulties of the daughters house and approaching them to help. And if adarsh and Prof has some buddi, they should accept it till they come out of the situation. 
 
Very well written post mnsu 👏..... I don't think SS and his sons would have any problem in providing some financial assistance to the Saxenas, if they knew about the diffculties. Komal is in the Saxena house, and I think SS would do anything to help Komal and Adarsh without holding a grudge against the Saxenas.
 
The problem is Adarsh and the Prof himself. They have always treated the Thakurs with contempt and have always felt superior to them. They will never accept any money from the Thakurs even if it is truly being offered in good faith.
 
There is a saying "Rassi jal gayi, par Bal nahin gaya".... roughly meaning that you've lost all you have, but your behaviour is the same. That will be the case with the Saxenas..... they'll have lost everything, but they'll still be stuck-up and arrogant, considering themselves superior to the Thakurs.  
Posted: 13 years ago
In Pratigya's case - one has to consider the background of her sasural ad their reactions.
 
In the Thakurs case - ladies living in the TN do not work - hence this could become an issue.
 
Loving family - who called her liar infront of everyone.
 
Loving mother who was telling her to go from the wedding - taking HER Krishna along with her.
 
Always disrespecting the son in law. They don't deserve sympathy from anyone.
 
But if you are asking from the POV of our personal lives then, Yes there is no harm with us trying to help our families. But being mindful of what our background situation is like aswell.
 
There is no right or wrong, it in circumstantual.


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