I was bored. Really bored. And I wrote this OS. If you have time, please comment? π
I always knew this wasn't going to be easy. I curse myself for not seeing it before. The signs had been there - everywhere - around me. Pia falling in his arms, Pia thinking about him, talking about him, wondering about him. All the things that I wished had been mine, all the things I have been fighting for since one last year - Everything came crashing down like a whirlwind which hit me so hard it drowned out my very consciousness.
I still remember the day I first met her. The innocence in her eyes sparkled so strong it hit me like a waze - I was drowning in her. I wanted to know her. I did all sorts of things to get her attention. Flirt with her. Help her. Support her through her ups and downs. Do everything I could. But now - her heart belongs with someone else, and I can't change that.
She told me it wasn't her choice. Falling in love with him wasn't something she could change or avert. She told me I'd always be her special friend. A friend she can talk to, a friend she can confide in when tears would fall from what he does, a friend she needs, she wants, and she loves - in her own special way, she says.
I walked to the mountain point. Yet another sign. That day, when she had fallen from here, I did all I could to save her. Had I lost her that day - No, I don't even want to consider it. All I know is that I couldn't save her - yet he could.
The Romeo and Juliet. I was the original Romeo. The guy Pia was supposed to fall in love with. But tables turn, and destiny changes in a span of second. And he came - replacing me in the role, and making a space for himself in Pia's heart.
There had been so many signs, just so many. I could easily have given up. Could have accepted him. But I couldn't. It wasn't about ego. It was about - my heart.
She was my first love, undoubtedly. There had been so many girls, I forgot the count. But love. People said it only happened once in a lifetime. I reckoned it has happened to me about 10 times and I forget about them after one hangover. I assumed it would be the same with Pia. But it wasn't - It just wasn't.
When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried. Cheesy, I know? But I couldn't help it. I couldn't help being sad when she was sad. I couldn't help doing all sorts of things to cheer her up. I couldn't help a huge grin on my face on seeing her smile. Once I had told her, there is a connection between your smile and my heart - it starts beating faster when you smile. She'd thought it was a lie, but it wasn't. I didn't know it then, I know it now.
So, I wasn't accustomed to losing the girl I like. When she had started falling for him, I'd done everything I could to stop it. Thrown all sorts of tantrums. Keep Pia busy with Misha to avoid spending time with Abhay. I'd done everything.
I even tried to make her jealous by hanging out with T. But she didn't have any effect. Okay, she did. But that wasn't the effect I'd been hoping for. I'd been hoping for her to run to my arms and say I love you...
It was a dream. Now, it all feels like a nightmare. A nightmare which keeps on closing on me everyday - swallowing me, feeding every ray of hope. But she says, sun always rises - no matter how dark the night is. And I trust her. I trust her that someday, someone will enter my life that will love me for who I am, and I will love her back.
I smiled, probably for the first time since months - as I watched the sun rise.