DIVORCES - Page 4

To be honest I dont know how objective I can be about this but these are my feelings and views only-

Maybe the choice to bail out on your marriage is like Willows very correctly pointed out, that the tolerance is lower. Expectations are high, possibly unreal even. High expectations can be met but unrealistic ones cannot. And as people we are selfish, everyone is and was. There could be several reasons why people what to opt out. Divorce is not something anyone wants to happen or chooses the option without atleast some deliberation especially when children are involved. If they are then something is seriously wrong.

But one question I think many dont ask themselves before they run out is

would I bail out on my son or daughter if our relationship reached this point.
Would I tolerate this, would I stop caring about them? Would I stop to help them?
Would I stop saying Happy Diwali to them?
Would I stop praying for them?

If the honest answer is yes to most of the above then yes go for it. Yes, opting out of marraige if the challenges really mount and have fatal or serious consequences, should always be recommended. And these cases are not few, many people put up with abuse and trauma just to sustain their marriage and that is probably not OK and probably not marraige at all. If this population has now started opting out I dont see it as something one can control or negate or reverse.

But on the other hand the population that is opting out for better dreams should try to make their dreams possible with their partner. Or why the hell did you get married in the first place. One doesnt get everything in life, dissapointments happen, they happen with everyone. But if your spouse dissapoints you let go. Why? Teach him how not to dissapoint you or dissapoint him back. Dont leave, not yet.

One should not associate marriage with only one emotion or one word, Love or Togetherness or some pre concieved notion. Marraige is just that, Marraige, it has its own word for it for a reason. If not they would asked you be "loved" or be "together" , not be "married".

And once that has happened, think that you are stuck, yes STUCK, literally. Think about it. And dont give up, atleast fight for it, show some spirit.

Originally posted by: ~PaKi*PrInCeZ~

divorce iznt az bad 4 da couple (ex coupe?) az it iz 4 da kidz.............

da 2 ppl get over each other after a while.......but wat abt da kidz.......dey dun get da luv of both parentz at da same timeeeeeeeee

 

divorce iz da last resort.........

but dont u think if the parents arent getting on well together the kids arent gonna be happy anyways, maybe they dont want both their patrents love, maybe the just want happiness and they wont be happy until their parents split up...my parents have split up, and believe me, we are much happier now, so i dont think there is anything wrong with divorce, even if u have children...they'll probably be happier like that

i think u should get divorced if u know u/yr kids wont be happy, living with that person

Originally posted by: nali476

In my opinion, I think that women are finally realizing that first of all, their life does not end after marriage, and they are not suppossed to worship their husbands. they are finally realizing, mostly through the mass media, that their is help for divorced women out their, and society does not look down upon them.

Speaking from my personal experience. My family is from Pakistan, and their were times when my parents were really on bad terms. It was so bad, that me and my sisters actually told my mother to divorce him because my mom, me and my sisters did not need this crap from my dad, but she had told us that it is considered "bad" in our "culture" to divorce.

But I feel, that the new generation is growing up exposed to media such as television, and that amounts to the majority of changes in their belif system. I am not saying if this is for good or bad, but I do believe that if one is not happy in a marriage because of abuse or neglect, then divorce is a necessary step to end this.

Even though their have been studies pointing to the results that divorce has negative affects on children, if one just stops and thins about the fact that living in a violent home could have even worse consequences and effects on a child.

I, however, strongly don't promote divorces that are made without a valid reason.

i totally agree with u😃