Platonic relationships in society - Page 3

Posted: 13 years ago
Kalabhi,
You mentioned mom told society wont accept coming back with a guy friend at 10.30 drenched in rain.
Understood. What was the option once you are already caught in rain in that situation. Would you refuse lift from a friend you have known? Would you decide to come back alone so late at night which again wont be safe. Would you next time opt not going for evening show.
If there is any other problem to any girl for that matter, next day society will ask back..why did you travel alone? You should have asked your friends to drop back. Its not safe late at night.
Either which way society will talk till they find newer things to be occupied with.
I too understand what drawing a line means. I have already mentioned that scenes may be exaggerated as per societal norms but its also important what we feel about the person.
North Indian tradition has the Rakshabandhan system. When relationship can be adopted in the name of a tradition why not relationships of the heart. If Mili had gifted him a rakhee and officially accepted him a brother will people still talk if they are friendly with each other. Mili and Anuj shared a room before Anuj's wedding and there would have been chances of seeing your brother in similar condition and sisters do make fun of brothers htting the gym. If an officialised brother is seen in similar condition dressing up,is it right or wrong. Or will we treat real brother and officialised brother differently. If we do, no point officialising.
And unless declared a brother or addressed as Bhai alone, the meaning to a relation does not exist. What has Anuj being a brother done for her? She may be feeling that Abhi is filling that void.
 
Again what the writers will give us is a different issue. But for me the bonding between Abhi Anita that existed and Abhi Mili now is one and the same unless proven otherwise
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by SaNiCo




This is  no joke but a true event.  Our Simi entered in the bedroom of Anita/Anuj and she opened the door while they were in bed.  This is what I mean the tradition going on here with the Sethi gals.  (where the F.D was an issue.)

oh good it runs in the family so Mili is forgiven, yes I am not saying Simi is correct she should have knocked too, no matter what.😃
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by mesimi


Kalabhi,
You mentioned mom told society wont accept coming back with a guy friend at 10.30 drenched in rain.
Understood. What was the option once you are already caught in rain in that situation. Would you refuse lift from a friend you have known? Would you decide to come back alone so late at night which again wont be safe. Would you next time opt not going for evening show.
If there is any other problem to any girl for that matter, next day society will ask back..why did you travel alone? You should have asked your friends to drop back. Its not safe late at night.
Either which way society will talk till they find newer things to be occupied with.
I too understand what drawing a line means. I have already mentioned that scenes may be exaggerated as per societal norms but its also important what we feel about the person.
North Indian tradition has the Rakshabandhan system. When relationship can be adopted in the name of a tradition why not relationships of the heart. If Mili had gifted him a rakhee and officially accepted him a brother will people still talk if they are friendly with each other. Mili and Anuj shared a room before Anuj's wedding and there would have been chances of seeing your brother in similar condition and sisters do make fun of brothers htting the gym. If an officialised brother is seen in similar condition dressing up,is it right or wrong. Or will we treat real brother and officialised brother differently. If we do, no point officialising.
And unless declared a brother or addressed as Bhai alone, the meaning to a relation does not exist. What has Anuj being a brother done for her? She may be feeling that Abhi is filling that void.
 
Again what the writers will give us is a different issue. But for me the bonding between Abhi Anita that existed and Abhi Mili now is one and the same unless proven otherwise
Mesimi I did have the option of returning with my friends in an auto but yes i saw no harm in taking the bike ride also. but all i am saying is i did get my mom's point also to be careful and avoid sticky situations in furthur. (the advise she gave me was for the future) As for abhi mili i do not have a problem with their friendship nor would i be hypocritical to say that they make it a brother sister relationship just because society will not acept it. I just felt that some actions were beyond lines of decency. Agreed mesimi in their minds they are best friends or brother/sister whatever but the fact of the matter is they are also jeeju/saali, you cannot deny that fact. They have to respect the decency of that relationship also.
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by mesimi


Right on Sanico.
As I have mentioned also rules are set according to society. The limitations of a jeeju-saali relationship are set by the society which in those days allowed a man to marry two sisters. And hence since the marriageable option was prevalent, society restricted jeeju and saali from mingling together if in case sparks fly and it may affect everyone.
Brothers and sisters are brought up that way and hence there is no issue about hug,touch or kiss which also has become more open these days in modern society.
But these days its a question of how one feels about each other. Its important how Abhi feels about Mili whether its like how he felt for Anita or whether how he felt for Simi.
So mainly its how one feels, society now or later will come to relax rules about how relationships must be. Rules are to be amended as per one's thinking
Well going by these standards Mesimi Neetu also did nothing wrong. In her thinking she was right, she loved a guy went to bed with him because she felt like, she gave precedence to her feelings rather than the repercussions of her action. If society can accept any kind of behavior in a Jeeju/saali rishta so also with Neetu. I put this question  to Sanico also, why are they restrictions of society.
there is both good and bad. You said in olden days the man was allowed to marry two sisters so that was why these rules were put. But think about it if not for these norms and so called rules, we would be having  rampant teenage pregnancies, incest, children out of wedlock, rape and so much garbage. Children today have crossed the limits of decency and then go scream date-rape. Why have our parents set certain rules, basically to protect you. where to draw the line is the question. For me Mili and Abhi have given more precedence of their friendship / or whoever thinks brother /sister relationship over the jeeju-saali relationship.
 
All i am saying is that they also have to keep in mind that society sees them also as a jeeju/saali
They are jeeju-saali also period. Well if you dont care about society then everyone can live the way they want to.
 
cheers😃
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by kalabhi


Well going by these standards Mesimi Neetu also did nothing wrong. In her thinking she was right, she loved a guy went to bed with him because she felt like, she gave precedence to her feelings rather than the repercussions of her action. If society can accept any kind of behavior in a Jeeju/saali rishta so also with Neetu. I put this question  to Sanico also, why are they restrictions of society.
there is both good and bad. You said in olden days the man was allowed to marry two sisters so that was why these rules were put. But think about it if not for these norms and so called rules, we would be having  rampant teenage pregnancies, incest, children out of wedlock, rape and so much garbage. Children today have crossed the limits of decency and then go scream date-rape. Why have our parents set certain rules, basically to protect you. where to draw the line is the question. For me Mili and Abhi have given more precedence of their friendship / or whoever thinks brother /sister relationship over the jeeju-saali relationship.
 
All i am saying is that they also have to keep in mind that society sees them also as a jeeju/saali
They are jeeju-saali also period. Well if you dont care about society then everyone can live the way they want to.
 
cheers😃


I have already discussed the issue of Neetu to very great extent and am not wasting my time here.  We are talking about platonic relationship here  and last time I checked that was anything but a platonic relationship or WAS IT????  About all these social issues it's not me who is questioning these issues here but you are and pointing out that these are effects of these actions?? My point is very clear.  So get it  finally once and for all. There is NOTHING happening between Abhi/Simi TO-DATE and till we both feel the situation has changed there is no discussion from my side.  BTW while making the list of all the social issues you forgot the gay, and same sex marriage in there so include that in there too for future reference. Might come in handy some day.
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by SaNiCo


 
I was just talking in context to Abhi/ Milli situation. The way they are behaving these days....It was not a personal attack on you....But seems you didn't get it. I'm appalled by your comment in bold. You don't have to yell to make your point!!!
Edited by WithlovefromUSA - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
 I was not yelling or making a point where Abhi/Milli are concerned  but simply finishing what you started.  The writers are going to write what they feel like and if Milli's character assassinatio in the works than be it.

And since I was writing just one line didn't want the meaning to be lost in the Abhi/Milli discussions.  It has happened right here in the past and then we always look for the Answers??/I😲
Edited by SaNiCo - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by kalabhi


Well going by these standards Mesimi Neetu also did nothing wrong. In her thinking she was right, she loved a guy went to bed with him because she felt like, she gave precedence to her feelings rather than the repercussions of her action. If society can accept any kind of behavior in a Jeeju/saali rishta so also with Neetu. I put this question  to Sanico also, why are they restrictions of society.
there is both good and bad. You said in olden days the man was allowed to marry two sisters so that was why these rules were put. But think about it if not for these norms and so called rules, we would be having  rampant teenage pregnancies, incest, children out of wedlock, rape and so much garbage. Children today have crossed the limits of decency and then go scream date-rape. Why have our parents set certain rules, basically to protect you. where to draw the line is the question. For me Mili and Abhi have given more precedence of their friendship / or whoever thinks brother /sister relationship over the jeeju-saali relationship.
 
All i am saying is that they also have to keep in mind that society sees them also as a jeeju/saali
They are jeeju-saali also period. Well if you dont care about society then everyone can live the way they want to.
 
cheers😃


Your highlighted part says it exactly right, Kalabhi. Their actions crossed hallmarks of decent behavior. These were choices they made to do this. Mesimi, you did agree that they went too far in showing the recent scenes, you said they "exaggerated" the behavior meaning you thought that was not right. So in fact as per you, they did go too far as per the scene. So I rest my case in this regard. Seems when it comes to boundaries and decency, we are agreed.
SaNiCo, you never stated what you thought would make you say that they went too far. What would? Both or one character saying the words? Or an act? And what act would be enough for you? My point is how does one even get to the words or acts unless there is buildup of behavior towards that. This is what is happening. To wait for Writers to tell you shouldn't be necessary. There are some things that just aren't done in some relations. That's all. 
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by SaNiCo




I have already discussed the issue of Neetu to very great extent and am not wasting my time here.  We are talking about platonic relationship here  and last time I checked that was anything but a platonic relationship or WAS IT????  About all these social issues it's not me who is questioning these issues here but you are and pointing out that these are effects of these actions?? My point is very clear.  So get it  finally once and for all. There is NOTHING happening between Abhi/Simi TO-DATE and till we both feel the situation has changed there is no discussion from my side.  BTW while making the list of all the social issues you forgot the gay, and same sex marriage in there so include that in there too for future reference. Might come in handy some day.
well sanico you have missed the whole point of the argument, none of us suugested here that anything is happening between Abhi-Mili (not abhi/simi). We were talking about acceptable decent behavior in a platonic relationship, society norms and when do you cross the line. Thank you for bringing up gay and same sex marriage i will definitely keep that in mind for future reference. Never know when it might come in handy.   I have made my position clear also wear I stand on this issue. I rest my case.
Posted: 13 years ago
I think society makes rules in a relationship.  But yes Milli could have said thanks to him instead of giving him a peck on the cheek..

She  needs to keep her distance from  what is brother and brother in law..!!!

Abhi and Milli seem to be on the same wave length but still she needs to know that he is her sisters husband.

I guess the old school of thought in relationship still persists and needs to be followed !!!

Clarity in relationship is what society sees and nothing can change that..

And Simi's insecurities is defiantly understandable coz she being older and Abhi being younger

Everyone has different views but I guess  we are driven by rules which one of us makes and they have their logic !!!

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